On Tuesdays Gwen and I rode together to school. Truthfully, we drove to Boise State together most days. Tuesdays were the days it made the most sense, our schedules lined up almost perfectly. So, it had started with us taking turns making the drive to save money.

I also enjoyed having someone else in the car to keep me company during the commute. I think secretly Gwen felt the same. It was almost an hour drive both ways. It could get lonely.

But then Gwen figured that she could use some extra time in the campus library on Mondays after humanities. Her professor had his class do a lot of extra reading. So, she started riding with me on Mondays. This meant she could hang out for a couple hours studying while I finished my own classes.

Then, it turned out, I needed some extra help in Calculous, so I found a tutor who would be willing to meet me early on Wednesday mornings. That way Gwen and I could still ride together and get her to Chemistry lab on time. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been worth the trouble of getting the extra help.

Thursdays were all over the place, but we couldn’t resist half-off bagel day at a local bakery on the way to Boise, could we? We both loved getting our everything bagels smothered with cream cheese. We’d stuff our faces on the drive and spend the rest of the day and trying to gross each other with our breath. We would sneak up on each other in the halls, or the quad, or wherever we ended up crossing paths that day.

Gwen had been known to let out a few unladylike burps in an attempt to get me. For some reason, it just endeared her to me even more.

Fridays were our free day, a blessed extra day added to the weekend, so we didn’t have to worry about the commute. Although, Gwen usually worked these days.

But, today was Tuesday, our official carpool day. I drove my truck through the snow knowing how much Gwen hated driving her car in this kind of weather. Having grown up in California, she didn’t learn how to drive in the snow or have much experience looking for patches of black ice.

Between her lack of expertise and her general cautious personality, I just assumed that we’d be taking my truck. I picked her up on our way without even texting. I looked over at her bundled up in the seat of my cab. She was covered from head to toe, the padding from her jacket and scarf hiding the figure I knew was under it. It was all topped off with a bright orange beanie.

Gwen was beautiful. Not in the usual way girls were hot. But, in her own unique Gwen way. She didn’t try to dress up or spend a lot of time in the bathroom getting ready. I liked that.

Confession time: I knew she spent less time getting ready that I did. She was acting high maintenance if she actually brushed her hair, which was cut short. And, I don’t think she ever wore makeup.

She didn’t need it.

My attraction to her wasn’t a secret. I had on several occasions put myself out there. Every time I did, she would find a way to blow me off or change the subject. Or, even worse, pretend like she didn’t understand what I was saying or doing. That was the reaction I hated the most.

I had hit the point where I stopped throwing myself at her, but it didn’t mean I had stopped holding out hope for her to come around. I didn’t like that I had a crush on my best friend. It killed me that she refused to acknowledge she felt the same way, because I knew she had feelings for me too.

I glanced over at her again, she was still rubbing her hands together even though we’d been in the truck for several minutes. “That hat is ridiculous.” I said yanking the misshapen beanie off her head, waiting to see what her reaction was.

Gwen’s cheeks turned red before she tried to snatch it back from me. Her hands kept coming at me in a flurry of motion. “It’s not that bad.”

“It looks like it was knit by a blind woman with one hand.”

“Mitch!” she scolded me never stopping her attempts to grab the monstrosity.

“That had really bad arthritis.”

“Stop it!” She punched my arm with one hand while still swinging the other wildly.

“Wait.” I said when she refused to give up, realization dawning on me. “You did this, didn’t you?” I laughed loudly. “Oh, this is great. Please let me wear it for the rest of the day. Come on, Gwen. When people give me strange looks, I’ll just tell them I didn’t have the heart to tell my girlfriend how bad it was.”

“I’m not your girlfriend.” Of course that was the argument she made.

I put the hat on my head, even though it was way too small for my head, ignoring her protests. I was happy it was orange and not something more girly like pink. It wouldn’t have stopped me though. “They won’t know that.”

“Just wait until I make the matching scarf. Then you’ll really be sorry.” She laughed leaning back against the seat giving up the fight. Her arms were crossed over her chest.

“I’ll look like a giant tangerine.”

“Poor Katie will feel like she’s in Florida again surrounded by menacing citrus.”

“Can citrus be menacing?”

Gwen lowered her voice to a deep growl. “I’ll Vitamin C you in hell. Muahahaha!”

“That was terrible.” I told her, but neither one of us really cared.

In fact, the two of us joked around back and forth the entire drive before finally arriving at school. Once we got there, we went in our separate directions. For all our carpooling, we didn’t have a single class together, whether it was due to us pursuing different majors or just wanting to take different things.

Regardless, I continued to wear the hat that Gwen had made. I got a few comments from some of my fellow students. A few people laughed knowing I was fully aware of how I looked with it on my head. There was no way to know everyone on campus, but the people who knew me, knew I was a goofball.

It made me smile knowing that Gwen had created it. I loved that she was unafraid to try new things, even if they were super dorky. If only she could take that bravery and apply it to all the areas of her life.

She’d be unstoppable.

The day went by in a blur, my attention split between my classes and a certain girl who had no business knitting. Every time it made my head feel itchy throughout the day, I pictured her face when she admitted knitting it. I kept catching myself smiling. I couldn’t wait to see her later.

“Let’s go to a movie.” I said when we reunited after our classes. We always walked together to the parking lot. IT never ceased to amaze me how in tune we were. How we didn’t need to talk about how things would go, we just fell into step. We each had our place that fit perfectly with each other.

“Only if you promise not to wear that thing.” She answered nodding her chin in the direction of the hat she knitted. “It really is awful.”

“Do you see how I look out for you?” I answered and started up the truck. I drove us to the theater in Boise. River Valley was too small to have its own theater. By going to see something while we were already out here, I was saving us gas money. And matinee tickets were always cheaper anyway.

I was a pretty awesome friend to go through all the effort to save those extra dollars. There definitely wasn’t any other motivation behind it. None at all.

We went and saw some superhero move. The latest in the long list of reboots and re-reboots. They were really not my thing, not by a long-shot. But, Gwen, she was a complete nerd. In the cutest way, of course. She loved all that geeky stuff.

I was a dude, I was supposed to like it too. There had to be a code out there somewhere saying guys had to like action movies. I didn’t. I went along with her so I could at least pretend I knew what I was talking about. And to spend more time with her.

It had been difficult to pay attention while we were watching the movie. I was distracted, and found my eyes constantly moving over to check in with Gwen. She didn’t seem to notice or care, but kept her attention of the screen. The light from the screen lit her face up just enough to highlight her lips. I sat on my hands to keep myself from touching them.

I knew she would be pissed if I did it, especially in the movie theater.

So, I sat through the movie trying to pay attention to the plot and keep my eyes off of Gwen’s face. I counted to fifty at least a hundred times and recited the pledge of allegiance just as many. I couldn’t focus on the plot. Going to movies together wasn’t something foreign to us, I couldn’t put my finger on why I was feeling so antsy this time.

I practically bolted when the move was done, even though I knew Gwen would want to watch until after the credits were finsihed. She liked to stay just in case there was some hidden Easter egg or some other inside joke that I wouldn’t get.

To her credit, she didn’t complain as she followed me and was being a generally good sport about my sudden mood until she saw that the snow had begun to fall harder while we were inside. Her steps slowed as we approached the windows of the building. I could see she was anxious. She hated anything with a perceived danger. I refused to let her dwell on it.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the front door of the theater, barely giving the people around us enough time to get out of our way. We started running through the parking lot while I loudly hummed the music from the movie we had just watched. It was a miracle I could even remember how it went considering how distracted I was the entire time.

I was jumping around like I was some kind of superhero. I could hear her laughter as I drug her behind me and knew I had been able to take her mind off of the weather at least for a few minutes. I loved when I could ease the constant anxiety she had bearing down on her.

When we got inside my car, I watched as she tried to wipe the snow, all in different stages of melting, from her body gracefully. Her hair was slightly damp on the top and a stubborn snowflake stuck to her eyelashes.

I shook my head back and forth like a dog, attempting to send water her way. Not that I was wet enough to actually get any on her.

“You are the worst!” She yelled and playfully pushed me with both of her hands. She came at me full force. Unfortunately, with all my moving around, I wasn’t prepared for it. We both went tumbling back into my seat, the top part of her body resting on mine. Our faces were just a couple inches apart.

I couldn’t even begin to explain what happened next. The entire mood inside the cab changed in that moment. The air shifted, the electricity between us charged. Or maybe I imagined the whole thing because I had been strung so tightly for the past two hours.

Whatever it was, I knew that she felt it too. This was the moment I had been waiting for, the one I knew would eventually happen. One that couldn’t be forced. It just had to happen naturally. I was going to kiss Gwen.

She didn’t hurry to move away, but just looked up into my eyes with the same intensity I knew I was looking at her with. I brushed a few strands of her hair away from her face. They weren’t long, but a couple stubborn pieces caught in her eyes. The snowflake from mere moments ago had melted.

“Gwen.” I said, not knowing how to express what I was feeling in that moment. How relieved I was to have her in my arms. My voice sounded rough to my ears. And when had I started breathing so quickly?

Gwen’s brows furrowed together as the hand I had just used to move hair out of her eyes was now cupping her face. My thumb traced her jaw as I leaned in slowly, reminding myself this was Gwen. She spooked more easily than a deer.

I struggled to keep my breathing even and I closed my eyes as my lips almost reached hers.

“I can’t do this.” Gwen said in a rush. Her body stiffened before jerking back from my touch.

I didn’t open my eyes as I closed the fingers that had been touching her cheek into a loose fist. Not because I was angry, but I had been so close and I was desperately trying to hold on to that moment. Another deep breath.

“Gwen.” I said her name again, this time with much more desperation.

“I’m sorry.” Gwen whispered. I opened my eyes to see her shaking her head. “I’m sorry.” She repeated. Her eyes were squeezed closed like she was in pain.

“Gwen, look at me.” I said as I smiled as genuinely as I could, faking lightheartedness that wasn’t really there. She slowly opened her eyes and I reassured her it was fine.

It wasn’t fine.

“Mitch.”

“Gwen, you know I get caught up in the moment sometimes. All that running around like a superhero just made me think I was supposed to kiss the damsel in distress.” I nudged her playfully.

She gave a small laugh, a shadow of a laugh really, but managed to tease me back. “I was not the damsel in that scenario.”

“No, I suppose you weren’t” I replied before driving us home in awkward silence.