Tomorrow was Thanksgiving.

Katie had been gone for three weeks. The last time I saw her, she looked horrified. That was the image that kept forcing its way to the front of my mind. Not the memories of her smiling, not how she looked after I kissed her for the first time. But the look that told me she never wanted to see me again.

I had been so thrilled when she accepted my past and my present, only to have her ripped away.

I knew I should have left her alone, but I had wanted so badly to explain. I composed and deleted my single text message to her a hundred times. I would type out an explanation of what happened. I would beg her to let me talk to her. I would tell her how much I missed her and that I loved her. When I finally hit send, I had settled on two words that could never sum up what I wanted to say.

She never responded; there was no way of even knowing if she got the message. I knew I needed to let her go, that I shouldn’t drag Katie into my life. It was a mess.

It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. While we hadn’t technically been in a relationship long enough to call it a breakup, it was harder than any actual breakup I’d ever had. The pain was more unbearable than what I endured with my dad leaving, or even the physical pain from fighting with Marco.

It went against every instinct. But for her sake, I let her go.

I had been arrested and fired. An unemployed criminal, every girl’s dream. Maybe Mr. Lynch would finally believe me when I said I was bad news for his daughter.

I only spent a few hours at the police station with Marco. Not the crowning moment in my life, that’s for sure. We sat near each other in the holding cell, neither one of us talking. The officers had some questions for us, but everyone knew everyone in this town. We were brothers letting off some steam is what they told us. We wouldn’t be facing charges this time. We were free to go and I was thrilled. It was exactly what I needed to give me a wakeup call about what I did and didn’t want for my life.

Another trip to jail was on the top of the things I did not want list, right under actually being charged with a crime.

Leaving the station, I was sure Marco would be worse than ever, blaming me for his arrest. I figured the silent treatment he’d given me in front of the guys inside was to cover for the hate that brewed just beneath the surface. But once we were out of the police station, he went his own way and I went mine.

I hadn’t heard from him in these past three weeks either. I had called him a few times with no answer. I hoped he was okay. I held my breath waiting for news I didn’t want to hear. I was afraid he would end up dead.

With all of this, I wanted to give up. Probably more than ever before. Instead, I took this final blow as a motivator. I had lost my scholarship; I wasn’t going to get that back. Money was really tight around the house. I figured I’d apply for financial aid and try to go to the community college.

I would find my way back to my dream, even if I had to take the long road.

I had hoped to explain to Mike what had happened that day in the parking lot, but he wasn’t having it. I had worked that job for three years and it felt strange not going in anymore. The search began for a new one. I went out almost daily looking for something. I hadn’t found it yet in this small town, but knew it would happen eventually.

I walked into the diner as a customer, knowing Gwen was working, hoping she had heard something.

A new waitress was working at the diner when I showed up. I remembered her from high school; she had been a couple of grades below me and I thought her name was Sarah. She walked stiffly as she seated me at a table in Gwen’s section.

Whether it was from the rumors that circulated during the summer or news of the fight from a couple of weeks ago, I wasn’t sure. But this girl was scared of me. The very idea of walking me to a table made her uncomfortable.

“Thanks,” I said cheerfully, smiling at her in a way I hoped made her feel more at ease.

“Uh, huh,” she mumbled under her breath as she turned to walk off without even looking at me.

“Sarah, right?”

Her eyes darted back and forth and her eyebrows crinkled together. Her entire body was strung tight, ready to flee at the first opportunity. This girl really didn’t want to be near me. “Why?” she asked cautiously.

“I just wanted to thank you for seating me. I hope you like working here. It’s a great place,” I said, knowing the words were cheesy and mostly superficial. I wanted to work on my public image. I was ready to stop hiding and pretending to be the rebel. There was no reason I couldn’t be a nice guy who happened to have to work hard for the things he had. But all this started with a change of attitude on my part.

“Of course she likes working here,” Gwen said, walking up apparently having heard my words to Sarah. “Now stop trying to make The Farmhouse sound like a cult with all your ‘I hope you like it here’ business.”

Gwen had taken the opportunity to wrap her arm over Sarah’s shoulder as she said this. “Besides, the poor girl hasn’t even seen the ghost yet,” she said in a stage whisper with her hand up like she was sharing a secret with me. As if Sarah couldn’t hear every word that was said. “Don’t scare her away. We want to keep her.”

Sarah looked back and forth at us, as if trying to decide if Gwen was serious or not. Gwen kept her face blank, but I smiled back and shook my head slightly to reassure her.

“Whatever,” Sarah said with a huff. “You guys are weird.” And she walked off. The place was practically empty and I assumed her speedy retreat had more to do with the fact she wanted to get away from us than having actual work to do.

I lifted my eyebrows in question as Gwen slid into the booth across from me. “What was that about?”

“That girl is so serious. Like, all the time. Just trying to loosen her up.”

“I don’t think it’s working.”

“It’s not. But I miss goofing off with you and Katie.” She leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest. “Mike still won’t let you come back?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Apparently, I don’t fit the image of the diner.”

“That’s so dumb. You worked your ass off in this place for years. And the new guy? I mean, he’ll be fine. But he still hasn’t found his rhythm and he keeps to himself. I want things the way they were.”

“You and me both. Speaking of, you know what I’m going to ask.”

Gwen’s face fell and that was all the answer I needed. I had hoped Katie would at least be talking to Gwen. She wasn’t the one who scared her. She shouldn’t be the one punished. Unfortunately, based on the expression that was on her face, it looked like Gwen hadn’t heard from her either.

As much as I knew I messed up with Katie, I was mad to see she had cut everyone out. It didn’t seem right. I changed the subject to spare us both from the pain. Katie had only been in town for a few months, but it had been enough to make those of us who knew her care deeply for her. “What are your plans for tomorrow?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing major. My grandparents came in yesterday and are staying with us. My mom is cooking dinner and everyone will get drunk and say how they really feel about everything.”

“Yikes.”

She nodded. “Double yikes. It’s a mess, but I guess that’s what families do on the one day we set aside for being thankful, right? What about you, any big plans? Have you heard from Marco yet?”

“Not yet. I keep telling myself he’ll talk to me when he’s ready. My dad still hasn’t come back, so I think we’ll be doing something really small. I don’t even know if my mom bought a turkey.”

Gwen shot up in her seat from the relaxed posture she had been sitting in and slapped her hands on the counter. “Are you serious? You have to come over then. I’ll ask my parents.”

“No, don’t do that.” I stopped her before she could get too excited. “I honestly don’t know if I can take any more drama. I think I’m just going to enjoy some time around the house with my mom.”

“Okay. Suit yourself. But let me know if you change your mind. We can sneak some wine and complain about our own crap.”

I chuckled at that. “I will. And let me know if you hear from Katie?”

“Of course,” she said, as the bell from the front door of the restaurant dinged. Gwen looked over at the family walking in. “I should get up. I am working after all.”

“One does what they must to appease the ghosts,” I teased.

“Well, of course, we wouldn’t want to make the ghosts unhappy. Poor Sarah wouldn’t know what to do,” Gwen teased back, even though we both knew my joke fell flat. She got up from the booth and gave a sad smile. “I’ll be back with your usual in a few.”

“Thanks,” I answered, and she was off to greet the new customers.

I pulled my phone out as soon as she was gone and looked down at it. No new messages. No missed calls. I knew it would look the same as it had for the past few weeks, but I almost thought if I willed it hard enough it would happen. I debated whether or not I should send a new text, but came to the same conclusion I did every time I considered doing so.

I turned my phone off to avoid the temptation and sat in silence while I waited for my food. I went through the list of things to be thankful for and tried to dwell on my future and all the plans I had, instead of dwelling on the mistakes of my past.

I managed to only think about how much I missed Katie twice before I finished my food and went back home.