Felicity

A screaming baby was not something I was going to complain about. Three screaming babies, however, was something that had me gritting my teeth, but I soldiered through as I lifted six-week-old Jagger Armstrong from his crib and quickly made my way to the changing table to get him dry after his hour long nap.

I didn’t know what I was thinking, promising to watch not only the two children that I was paid to, but also twins Luca and Lyric Thornton while Layla and Emmie took Lucy to her therapy session. I knew that Jesse and Nik would be home from the studio soon, so I would attempt to keep my sanity until then.

Normally watching Luca and Lyric wasn’t a problem for me. They were adventurous, loveable little beasts and I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that they had been born way too early. Once I had Jagger dry I carried him into the play room where Mia was sitting in the middle of the fenced-in play circle with a squalling Luca pulling at the little girl’s hair. Lyric was tugging and screaming baby talk at his brother, trying to get him to let her go. Luca was in a mood today, and it was days like this that I could see exactly whose personality each baby inherited from their parents.

Luca was completely his father made over even though both babies were identical in looks and favored Jesse Thorton even down to the eyes that changed as if they were the demons that the band was named for. Luca was aggressive at times, demanding, and rotten to the bone. But he was also loving, protective, and at times the sweetest little baby I’d ever come across. Lyric, or Ric as Emmie and some of the other family members tended to call him, was just like his mother, Layla. He was calm—mostly—and very caring even at his delicate age. Lyric was the peace keeper when his twin was rowdy. Of course if you got him angry, then there was nothing short of his mother’s cuddles that would calm him down.

Mia grasped Luca’s hand and tried to untangle her cousin’s fingers from her long, auburn hair. Luca was fascinated with her and Emmie’s hair. Any girl’s hair really. I’d learned quickly, that if Luca was around, to keep my hair up in a knot on top of my head. “Luca, that hurts. Stop.” Mia had tears in her eyes from the obvious pain Luca’s tugging was causing her, but she was still gentle with the baby.

In the two months that I had been working for the Armstrongs I had discovered that Mia was a lot like her mother in just looks. She had her micromanaging ability, which was going to help her through the life she would have to deal with as the “Rock Stars’ Princess Daughter,” or so a tabloid had called her and Neveah Stevenson two weeks ago when they had published a picture of Nik and Mia out with Drake Stevenson and his adorable daughter. She was also sassy, took nothing off of any of the people who walked through her house and her mother’s office. I’d seen her kick her Uncle Axton in the shin for teasing her, which had delighted her father so much that he had shot Diet Coke out of his nose. Mia was a joy to take care of because she kept me entertained just as much as I entertained her and her baby brother.

I placed Jagger in the swing he loved so much before stepping over the fence that, for the most part, kept Luca out of trouble while he was visiting. Crouching down, I gently but firmly enough to show the baby that I meant business, unlocked his chubby fingers from around Mia’s long hair. When she was free I saw that Luca had several strands still locked in his grip. Sighing, I stood with the little beast in my hands. Thankfully, with Mia now free, Lyric was calm and crawled onto her lap. He gave her a hug and started jabbering up a storm, pointing to Mia’s head.

I gave Luca a stern frown as I stepped out of the fenced-in area. “That isn’t nice, Luca. Don’t do it again.”

He glared back at me, as if telling me I wasn’t his boss, huge tears rolling down his cute face. I leaned forward until my nose was touching his. “Your poor mommy is going to have a time with you if you are this obsessed with long, pretty hair when you get older.”

I heard a deep chuckle and turned to find Jesse Thorton. The very scary and very sexy drummer for Demon’s Wings was leaning against the doorframe. Seeing his father, Luca let out a happy squeal and wiggled in my arms, making me have to tighten my hold around his thick body or risk dropping him. “I have a feeling you’re right, Felicity.” He stepped forward and took his oldest son from my arms. “Has he been rotten?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” It was true. I could handle anything Luca or any of the other rocker babies threw my way. That didn’t mean it didn’t exhaust me. Some nights I climbed into bed dragging. I was thankful for those nights because I fell asleep quickly. They kept my mind from wandering and hating myself because I was too chicken to so much as make a few phone calls to the people who mattered to me the most.

Raven probably missed me, because I sure as hell missed her. We’d never gone more than a few days away from each other our entire lives. I wondered how she was doing with Bash and how she was coping with Lexa and Willa living under the same roof. Before I’d left, Raven had been settling in with Lexa, but Willa was another story. I wondered how Hawk was and if he and Gracie were still friends. The other Hannigans always crossed my mind and even Matt and Tanner. Then I would think of Toby, my beloved dog, and if Lexa was having as much fun with that loveable beast as I used to.

Thinking of Toby always forced me to think of the one person I promised myself never to think about again. Jet had given me Toby as a ‘just because’ present. He had seen the dogs for sale on the side of the road and the person who had sold them hadn’t realized that Toby and his siblings were expensive bullmastiffs, so he had gotten the beautiful dog for a hundred dollars when the man could have sold them for thousands.

Having had a crush on Jet all my teenaged years, then having that crush turn into love, had made me think that his giving me Toby was his way of telling me he cared about me too. So I had made sure he knew that I was open to any relationship he wanted to have with me. It had backfired in my face in the worst way. All Jet had ever seen me as was as Marcie Bolton’s daughter. A club whore’s bastard child was good for only one thing: becoming a club whore too.

That was how he had made me feel the few months we had been together. He’d told me I couldn’t tell anyone about our relationship and I hadn’t. Not even Raven, for fear that he would end everything. Stupid girl. I’d thought that keeping us a secret was just his way of keeping me safe from all the sheep who were practically obsessed with getting Jet Hannigan into bed with them. Jet rarely touched the sheep and that just made them want him all the more. When it had all came out I’d found out that he hadn’t wanted anyone to know because he didn’t want to share me with his MC brothers—yet.

He’d taken my virginity and my heart and made me feel like the whore I had always promised myself I would never become. Stupid girl that I had been had still loved him, even after I’d lost our baby. Even after all the ugliness. All the pain. I still loved Jet Hannigan, which meant that I would never be able to go home.

“Thanks for watching them.” Jesse juggled Luca in one arm and pulled something from his back pocket. “Emmie said you asked for this. I got you two, just in case.” He placed two cellphones in my hands. Burner phones.

I bit my lip and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, Jesse.”

“We really like you, Felicity. I hope you plan on staying around for a while.” He gave me a grim smile. “You’re good with all the kids… Especially Lucy.”

My heart clenched at the thought of Lucy. She was the reason I needed the burner phone. She was the reason I was going to make a phone call that would tear my heart out with the need to go home. But after seeing for myself how much pain that little girl was still in, how much her nightmares still haunted not only her but her family, I knew that I had to do something. Not just for Lucy, but for Emmie and Jesse too. Emmie was having bad dreams too, and sometimes I found her just pacing through the house, unable to sleep because of what had happened. Her guilt, her own nightmares. She had confessed to me one night that she blamed herself for Lucy’s experience and while I didn’t think she should shoulder that burden, I could see exactly where she was coming from.

“If you need anything just let me know… Okay?”

I nodded and offered him another smile. Over the next few hours I helped Jesse get the twins home and then got Mia and Jagger fed and into bed. Emmie came home, looking exhausted. Lucy’s therapist had requested that Emmie start attending some of the girl’s sessions, to help them both work through the night Lucy had been kidnapped. It wasn’t helping Emmie much, if anything it gave her more and more sleepless nights.

She barely gave me a glance as she thanked me for working so hard and climbed the stairs to go to bed. Nik was already up there waiting on her, as he usually was after one of these sessions. Tomorrow they would both be quiet and walking around with their own demons clouding their minds. Thankfully tomorrow was Sunday and there would be no going in to the studio, because Nik wouldn’t have gone anyway. Emmie would need him close, just to feel safe—even if she wouldn’t admit it out loud.

I waited until the door was closed behind her before picking up one of the burner phones and stepping out onto the patio. My heart was racing and I felt all kinds of choked up as I walked to the beach and sat down on the damp sand. My gaze was on the waves as I hit the number I had already programed in. I spent my sleepless nights out here, just letting the waves wash over my feet as if they would wash away my memories…

It rang five times before someone picked up. The number had come up unlisted, untraceable. I knew he wouldn’t answer immediately, but he was used to burner phones and knew that it would be important. “What?”

I bit my lip as it started to tremble. Hawk’s voice pounded over me, making me ache for home. For Raven. For Jet. “H-hey…”

There was a long pause on the other end as if he was having trouble believing his ears. “Flick?”

The sound of that name made me flinch. Not many people in my new life called me Flick. They knew me as Felicity, even if Emmie did know most of my life up until now from the background check she had done on me. The woman had been like the CIA when it came to finding out everything about the person who would be taking care of her children.

“Yeah, it’s me. Listen, I don’t have much time…” Because I will start telling you where I am and asking you to come get me. To take me back to that life I had walked away from. “But I need a favor. It’s a big favor.”

There was another pause, then he cursed and I knew he wouldn’t let me down. “Anything, Flick. Just name it.”

“I need you to go see Jet. To ask him to do something for me.”

“Flick…”

“It’s important, Hawk. He owes me.” I didn’t want to play that card, but I would. This was too big, too important for it not to be used if I had to.

Hawk blew out a long, frustrated sigh. “What do I need to ask him?”