I only wanted to hold her.

I wanted to say goodbye.

I wanted to, for a fleeting moment, hold on to the one thing that made me feel good, made me feel right. The one thing that made me feel like I had a place in the world.

She was the one person I believed when she said she loved me. Because even when Sebastian said it, I didn’t entirely believe him. He already sort of knew the bad things about me. He had a vague idea, but he had only seen it on paper. But Bryna had seen it with her own two eyes. She’d caught me red-handed, and she had still chosen me.

And you’re going to walk away from her?

This was the most difficult thing I was probably ever going to do. How in the hell could I walk away from her?

Maybe you don’t have to.

As angry as I was at my mother, I believed she was telling the truth. After all, she’d taught me to spot a liar. She’d also taught me to spot vulnerability in people.

As much as I wanted to pretend that everything could be okay, I knew better. I knew that staying was going to be a problem. Hell, I’d known it last night.

I knew when I left with her last night that not completing the job meant my life was at risk. I just hadn’t seen it clearly enough to realize that hers was as well. We thought we could get away with being normal. Yeah, good luck with that.

I slid into the oversized couch behind her, and Bryna rolled over in my arms. “Hi. I thought you were going to let me sleep.”

I kissed her forehead. “I just wanted to hold you.”

She snuggled in. Her soft curves pressing into my chest. My dick swelled at her scent, at the thought of being so close to her. As if rebelling against the idea that I had to leave her behind.

You do have to leave her behind. Say goodbye.

The kiss was meant to be sweet and soft.

It was meant to be a goodbye kiss. But then Bryna sighed, arching her back, pressing her body closer to mine.

Leaving her would strip my soul. There was no way I could walk away from the invitation and from everything I’d been fighting to have.

I stroked my tongue over hers, coaxing the response I wanted out of her.

But it wasn’t just me. It was as if some inner recess of her mind understood my desperation, my need, and the pain I was in.

She pulled back gently and lifted her lashes. Her dark gaze meeting mine, full of questions.

But then Bryna was sliding her hands up under my t-shirt. The gentle pass of her fingertips played over my muscles, setting small electrical fires under my skin, and I groaned low.

This will only hurt the both of you. Be strong. “Sleep, remember? I kept you up all night.”

She shook her head. “I’m suddenly not tired anymore.”

Stop this. She’ll be hurt. And you will never recover.

That’s what my rational brain was saying. But the part of me that loved her, the part of me that needed her, that part wasn’t so keen on listening at the moment and ached to slide home again.

Bryna was everything I wanted and needed. Walking away was going to hurt. And right now, I would do just about anything to avoid that pain.

When she reached my shoulders, her hands slid over them as she gently kneaded the tense muscles there. I hesitated for a moment. But she leaned forward and kissed my nipple.

It was like someone flipped a switch. I was lost, and desperation was taking over. This was the last time I was ever going to see her, hold her, and kiss her. This was the last time I would make her fly with my hands, my mouth, my dick, so I had to make it count.

I reached behind my back and dragged off my T-shirt. We both fumbled with the buttons on my jeans before those went next. I picked her up from the couch and carried her into the nearest bedroom. If this was going to be my last time with her, I wanted to take my time.

I slid into bed behind her. With a moan, she slid against me. Her sundress had ridden up. As she wiggled against me, massaging my aching cock with the satin covered globes of that heavenly ass, I cursed.

I hadn’t been this turned on since I was fifteen and I’d seduced Misha Anders. She’d been a little older than me. Seventeen. She’d been a job, but she’d been the first girl I actually really liked.

But that was still nothing compared to this. I felt like I’d been lit on fire. I would never be the same after this. With a muttered curse, I gently turned her head and slid my lips over hers, thrusting my tongue into her mouth. Bryna wrapped an arm behind my neck, moaning as she slid her tongue over mine.

 “I need you so fucking bad,” I murmured against her lips.

I slipped my hand under her dress, traveling over her satin soft skin to the edge of her panties. I paused, my hands trembling. “Baby...” my voice was choked. “I love you more than I have ever deserved to love someone.”

She parted her legs then, rolling over slightly and giving me more access. “You’ve always deserved to love and be loved Lucas. I’m happy you finally get to see that.” Her hips bucked gently against my hand.

At that point my dick took over thinking for my brain. Almost as if he was saying, “Listen dude, you're gonna fuck this up for us, so you sit here. I’ll take the reins now.”

My fingers slipped under the elastic and I was met with silken-soft, wet lips. I stroked up then down. She moaned my name and lifted her hips even more, seeking my fingers.

When I found her clit, I stroked my thumb over it. Gently at first, teasing. Dipping my finger into her liquid center, I dragged it through her slick folds until I found my quarry again. With firm strokes, I circled the sensitive bud. I'd already learned that direct pressure didn’t work, so instead, I teased around it. I knew what she liked.

Moving my hips in time to my strokes, I nuzzled her hair. God, I loved the feel of it. So thick and soft. The dark color was like ebony on my pillow.

I tested the soft flesh at my fingertips and she moaned my name.

“Bryna, I—”

“Lucas, please. I want you.”

She trusted me too much. Again. I wanted to tell her not to do that. I’d only hurt her. But I couldn’t form the words. Instead, she moved against me.

She rolled her hips again and I bit out another curse. “Please…”

I knew I should stop, knew if I made love to her again, I was the one in danger of getting hurt. I knew if she begged me again, I might never let her go. “I—”

“Lucas.” She moaned again.

I stroked her again and felt the flow of juices making her wetter, more ready for me. And I lost what shred of control I had left. Shoving aside the scrap of fabric between her legs, I nestled my cock against her slickness and almost came. The contact with her skin felt like I’d been zapped with a taser.

Fuck.

“Lucas, I need—”

“I know. I need it too.” I shifted her position so I could pull her sundress above her head. When I laid her back down, her breasts were free and her back was bare to me, save the little triangle of satin I was working with. As I continued my stroking, I angled her so that I could continue playing with her breasts. She tried to turn and face me, but I held her firmly in place. “Shhh. Stay still. I’ll make this good, I promise.” As my cock settled back in position, I hissed when the round tip came into contact with her slick heat. Resettling the satin in place, I closed my eyes in bliss. With every movement and arch of her back, she milked me with the globes of her ass.

“Damn, Bryna, I’ve been dreaming about this since the moment I saw you climb out that window with your dress tucked into your thong.”

All I could focus on was holding her one more time. Feeling her soft skin against mine. Never mind that I’d pay for the consequences for the rest of my life.

As I rolled on top of her, she made room for me, even as she hooked her legs around my waist. All I could focus on was the heat surrounding the tip of my cock. I tried to go slow. I really did, but her hands on my ass, urging me on, went counter to my plan.

“Hurry. I need you.”

I clenched my teeth against the roaring need and maelstrom of curses. “Damn it, I’m not going to last for more than a minute if we don’t slow down a little.”

“We can take our time later.”

Later. There won’t be a later. Make it good for her. Make it good enough to sustain you when the loneliness gets to be too much.

I slid in to the base of my cock, my breath catching in my chest. Beneath me, she moaned out my name, her hands clenched on my shoulders. I tried to take control of the pace, but all my attempts to slow down were thwarted by the low keening sounds she made and the way she traced her hands over my shoulders and biceps. Worse was the way she met me thrust for thrust. Rolling her hips, eager to meet mine. Then she angled her head up and grazed my nipple with her teeth.

“Bryna! Shit.” The tingle in the base of my spine was my first warning. The greying of my vision was my other clue. I ground my teeth, desperate to ward off the impending orgasm and wait for her. Wait her out, wait her out. You son of a bitch, wait—

Her hips bucked, and she threw her head back. As she called out my name on a strangled breath, I could feel the walls of her heat convulse around me.

Her nails dug into my ass and I drove forward, no longer trying to ward off the release. As the zinging pleasure drove me on with each thrust, she locked gazes with me. In that moment, I started to come and poured myself into her soul. Unable to look away, I knew I would never be able to get her out of my blood. She would own my heart forever.

Not smart, but like I gave a fuck.

I was setting myself up for a hard fall and setting her up for pain. I reminded myself of what would happen if I stayed, how ugly things would eventually become. Bryna Tressel had worked her way under my skin.

There would be no getting over her now.