“What is it about you and this garden?”

I whipped around, not expecting anyone in the South Garden as I headed to Penny’s office. “Oh my God, Lucas, you scared me.”

He smirked. “Well, it is a palace. They are bound to be people walking around.”

I smiled up at him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I was just off to lunch with Penny. I mean, the queen.”

Lucas shook his head. “No, call her Penny. That’s what she prefers anyway.”

I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, desperate to run to him. He didn’t look like a new-found Prince. Instead, he was dressed in dark-wash jeans and a white t-shirt that looked like maybe it was a size too small on his shoulders. Whatever it was, he looked delicious. Too delicious.

Would that feeling ever go away? The urgent need to be with him? “I—” God what was I supposed to say to him? Other than, I miss you, which I couldn’t say. “You look good.” Oh yeah, that was helpful. “I mean, being the Crown Prince certainly agrees with you.”

Lucas arched a brow. “Same, but then to me you always look this good.”

I flushed and swallowed thickly. Be strong. Do not cave. “I know I said thank you before, but everything you did for Laila a few weeks ago… The label was thrilled too. I’m sure they’ll want all debut artists to perform here now.”

“If it’s you I’ll be working with, I’m sure we can make just about anything happen.”

I swallowed hard and nodded. But when he took a step toward me, I adamantly stepped back, even though all I wanted to do was lean in and inhale the delicious scent of his skin. Something woodsy and musky, all combined into pure pleasure. I could smell the man all day. But that’s not why you’re here. You’re off to see the queen, remember?

“I – I’m going to go.”

“Bryna, wait.”

I paused and then turned. “Yeah?”

“I just—" He inhaled and then exhaled slowly. I watched him, and for an instant, his shoulders bunched and then relaxed. “Will you hang out for a minute?”

I knew what the right answer was supposed to be. Honestly, I did. Except, it was Lucas asking. The same Lucas who’d saved me from my evil roommate and her even worse boyfriend. And the guy from hell. This was Lucas who had taken me apartment shopping even though he must not really have had time for that. This was Lucas who painted my toe nails for the Charity Ball. Exactly. This is the Lucas you’re in love with.

“I just, I don’t know…” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Did they give you a promotion at work for coming through in a clutch?”

I laughed, even as I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “No. I got a pat on the head. Besides you were the one who made it work. Thank you for that again. I know I already said thank you probably too much, but it deserves saying. You saved my bacon.”

He nodded slowly and then he reached out for me. “Bryna, I know I agreed to step back, especially when things were extra crazy. It’s just, now everything feels different. I just—I don’t know. If you’d be willing, I’d really like another chance.”

Me too. Me too.

But the helpful brain that I had offered up the vision of me waking up without him. Then it offered a stab of that pain, just in case I thought I could get past it. I swallowed. “Lucas, I really want to give you one. It’s just—"” I shook my head. My lady parts screamed, What are you doing?

“It’s too much. All of it. We’re combustible. And everything was just too hard. I think we’re going to do damage to each other. Every time I see you, we practically jump each other’s bones, and then we don’t know how to do the other part. The part it takes to build a relationship, you know?”

He swallowed and nodded. “No, I know, and I haven’t been great at that. But I remember there were moments. We could work on that. With my whole world about to change, I don’t want to lose the one thing about my former world that was great.”

My heart squeezed. “Lose me? You’re never going to lose me. I think we actually make great friends and a great team. I just way over complicated everything by trying to make us a couple too. I’m sorry for that.”

His brows furrowed. “You didn’t do anything,” he sighed. “I know it was a lot. The way I left and everything. You don’t have to say yes to a million things. Just yes to being open to giving us a shot. I’d really like one.”

“I’d really like one too. I just don’t think I can. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake how it felt to wake up without you, you know?”

He licked his lips and then nodded. “I would never hurt you like that again. I know those are just words, but I just need you to know that.”

“I wish I knew that deep down. There’s always going to be some lingering doubt. It’s not fair to you if that’s what I’ll always remember because you deserve a fresh start.”

He cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah, okay. I get it. But if you need anything, I’m here. Anything at all. It’s yours.”

I licked my lips nervously. “Thank you. Same goes for you. We’ll be spending a lot of time together, I think. And I just want you to be happy, Lucas.”

“Okay. I’ll let you go. But the moment you change your mind, the moment you want to let a former-con-man-turned-prince into your life, I’ll be here. What’s between us is too good. It makes sense to me, for the first time ever in my life. From the moment I saw you, you were special to me, and I was a dumbass for letting you go. And even more of a dumbass when I pushed you away. I won’t ever do that again. Now I have something to offer you.”

It was my turn to frown. “Lucas, you had everything to offer me then, before all of this. It doesn’t make you anymore appealing now that you’re actually a prince.” I reached a hand out. My palm, which was shaking, gently pressed his cheekbone. Lucas’s eyes drifted closed, and then he leaned into it. I could feel more than hear the rumble in his chest. And my traitorous body hummed right along with him. But then I took a deliberate step backward. “I’ll see you around, Lucas.”

And then I forced myself to walk away. I didn’t give myself a moment to fully sob until I was totally out of the garden. I didn’t want him to know how much it was killing me to walk away from him.

“So, let me get this straight. You turned down a perfectly good guy who said he loves you, made some mistakes, admitted he was wrong, and came back for you?”

When Ariel said it like that, I couldn’t help but scrunch my nose. “You make me sound irrational.”

Jinx threw up her arms as she handed Penny the bowl of popcorn. “Well, she’s not entirely wrong, is she?”

“Et tu, Jinx?”

Jinx shrugged. “I mean, the woman speaks sense. You know how much I love you. You know how much I believe in you. You know, much like Olivia Pope, I will follow you over a cliff. But there are occasionally times when you’re making the wrong choices.”

“What, like now?”

“Yes. Like now.” Jinx said. “I mean, I get it. He hurt you and for that alone, I’m not a fan. But, I mean… the guy is trying. And clearly, he’s in love. Even though you aren’t the sole reason he came back.”

“I just—I couldn’t take it if he did it again, you know?”

Penny nodded. “Okay look, I get it. All of this is a lot. The guards, the restrictions, the people trying to kill you constantly. I get it. That can be more than a girl is looking to deal with. But the reward is also really great because it’s love.”

I let go of my nose. “But love is fleeting. Shouldn’t it be based on… like people who make really good partners… who understand each other?”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, how is it I do not have a romantic on my hands?”

“I’m sorry, but that’s just how I think. I’m sure at some point my parents loved each other, but then they got all twisted, and it became about money and what one can do for the other, and it just twists the whole thing up and gets more and more impractical.”

Ariel slumped down next to me. “Hey, look, I’m not in disagreement with you there. I believe in the practical. I’m not a romantic either, but you have to admit, you and Lucas, it’s pretty up there.”

Well, the sex sure was. But I didn’t think anyone else wanted to hear that. “I just think it’s too scary.”

That was when Jinx sat across from me, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth and talking around it. “Yeah, you know what else is scary and stressful? Being alone. And you’ve been shitty at it for months.”

Ouch. Direct hit. She had a point there because it was terrifying. I liked being alone for the most part. I knew what she hadn’t come right out and said but was hinting at. But being alone didn’t mean I was lonely. Except, I was lonely. I did miss him.

And you want to be with him.

Was I being stubborn just for stubbornness’s sake? Was I doing this to myself?

Ariel shrugged. “Well, the way I look at it you have two choices. You can choose to have him, and you guys figure it out together. He’s already proven that’s what he wants. Or you can choose to be too afraid to do that and eventually have to choose someone else. The real question is will all the bad things that come with Lucas outweigh the good ones?”

Damn it. That logic was getting to me.

“It’s not fair. I was counting on you to be rational and tell me love was just a bunch of chemicals in my brain.”

Ariel grinned. “Yeah. That too. But it feels really awesome when you have it. Not that I would know, but I’ve heard.” She cocked her head at Penny and waggled her brows. “This one hasn’t been the same since she fell in love. Except, she keeps trying to escape the palace, which I don’t understand. But that’s a different problem for another day.”

I chuckled. Yeah, it was. But I still had to decide if I wanted Lucas or not.

The only answer here is yes.

So, all I had to do was go get my man. Why was that more terrifying than anything else?