Chapter Twenty
RICK RAN AT a fast clip down the city sidewalk at just after five o’clock the next morning, the muscles in his neck and back knotted up tight. He’d paced the hardwood floors of his Georgetown home for hours, too restless to sleep. He’d thought the longing inside him would let up after he’d arrived back in DC, but the stop-and-go cab ride had grated on his nerves, and his echoing footsteps in the home he’d once considered the find of the century had amplified that emptiness. He’d texted with Desiree several times yesterday, and was glad Violet had kept her busy. He’d thought knowing she was okay would help, but when they’d FaceTimed before she went to sleep, seeing her beautiful face and not being able to hold her had torn him apart.
Now, as he kept pace alongside a steady flow of traffic on the city streets, surrounded by brick and concrete in all directions, he not only missed waking up with Desiree in his arms, but also waking with the pool-hopping pup licking his face, running with Drake and Dean, and eating breakfast with friends and family.
He ran an extra two miles to kill some time before heading into the office. They’d scheduled a meeting to discuss the future of their business, and Rick planned to arrive early to go over the contract for the deal he hoped to close this week.
Back home, he checked his phone first thing, happy to see a message from Desiree. He opened it and smiled as a video of her and Cosmos came to life. Her green eyes smiled back at him as Cosmos kissed her whole face. “We miss you,” she said in a singsong voice. “Less than two weeks, now. Good luck with your business stuff. Love you to pieces!” She blew him a kiss and held up Cosmos’s paw, making him wave, too.
He called her back, but the call went to voicemail. He wasn’t big on videos, but there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Desiree. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair and cleared his throat. He held up the phone, feeling funny talking to his reflection, and reminded himself not to let her know he was having more trouble with the distance between them than she was. With a smile plastered on his face, he said, “Hey there, beautiful. I missed you last night. Hell, baby, I miss you right now, but I loved the video. Kiss pool-hopper for me. I just got back from a run. Sorry for the sweat. I’d much rather get sweaty with you.” Damn, don’t go there. “I’m going to shower and head into the office. I’ll call you when I get a break. Have a great day. Love you more than you can imagine.”
Long-distance relationships officially sucked.
Before showering, he printed out two pictures of Desiree he’d taken the night they’d gone sailing. In the first she had her hand over her face, because her pink cheeks were visible between her fingers, and he loved that adorably shy side of her so much the picture warmed him all over. And the second picture was the one he’d taken just after, with the wind blowing her hair away, the moonlight reflected in her eyes, and that smile. God, that smile. He put them with his briefcase and headed into the shower. If she couldn’t be here with him, at least he could see his girl while they were apart.
DESIREE SAT AT the kitchen table pushing cereal around in her milk and petting Cosmos, who was asleep on her lap. He’d become her constant companion overnight, as if he could feel her loneliness.
Violet flew into the kitchen, wearing an ultra-mini-skirt she’d tie-dyed a few days ago and the new purple bikini top they’d bought while they were in Provincetown. “What’s going on? Where is everyone?”
Desiree stared into the bowl, trying to force a smile, but it refused to come. It had been hard enough playing happy on the video for Rick and lying to Serena and Drake when she’d sent a text telling them she was going out this morning and wouldn’t be making breakfast.
“Cereal.”
“No shit, sis. But why?”
She shrugged, set Cosmos on the floor, and carried her bowl to the sink, unable to watch the cereal get any mushier. “Just tired today. I didn’t sleep very well last night.”
Violet crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. Desiree turned away. She didn’t have the energy for that either.
“We do have sex toys,” her sister suggested.
She gave her a deadpan look.
“I’m only kidding,” Violet said more empathetically. She leaned her hip against the counter beside Desiree. “I know you miss him. What can I do to help?”
“I don’t know. I think I made a mistake. A big mistake.” She met her sister’s gaze. “I want to be here with you, but I feel like I’ve got this big hole inside me. I’ve never felt like this before, except…”
“When Lizza left,” Violet said flatly.
“When you both left. Only it’s different. When you guys left, I was angry and sad. But this…Vi, I don’t even know how to explain it. I’m a grown woman, and two weeks is nothing. Soldiers and their wives go months without seeing each other. But Rick’s gone for one day and my heart actually hurts like it’s been manhandled.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Mean girl, much?”
“What? Jesus, this is so simple.” Violet poured herself a cup of coffee. “You know you can live without me. You’ve done it for years. But you’ve never been in love before, Des. Rick lights you up, inside and out. Being in love is totally different from loving someone. Of course you feel like you have a hole inside you.”
“How would you know? You slept with the first guy you found when we got here.”
Violet rolled her eyes. “I knew the guy I slept with. I’m not a total whore. He’s lived here since we were kids. We used to make out while you were up in the widow’s walk reading Little Miss Muffet.”
“God, it’s like you had this whole life I was never a part of.”
“I did.” Violet shrugged. “Look, Des. I’m a big girl. I’ll hire someone to help me run the inn. I bet Serena knows a dozen people who would be willing to work here.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I can eat cold cereal without you, but by the looks of your sappy ass, you can’t eat squat without him.”
Desiree’s heart thundered against her ribs. Could she leave Violet and go after Rick? Did that make her the worst sister in the world? “I’m not just going to leave you hanging. I’m not Lizza, and I don’t want you to hate me.”
“Holy shitballs, Des. You’re as far from Lizza as anyone could be. You’re going after the man you love. I’m your sister. Your blood. I’m here for you no matter what. I might miss you, but I could never hate you.”
She’d waited her whole life for this connection with Violet, and her emotions erupted. She threw herself into Violet’s arms. “Thank you. I really needed to hear those things.”
“Great, this again.”
Desiree laughed. “One day you’ll hug me back. Until then you just have to suffer through it.”
She kissed Cosmos’s head, feeling a little better, and grabbed her purse and keys from the counter.
“Where are you going?”
“Out to Indian Neck. I have a lot to think about.”