Chapter Three
Great things never come from comfort zones.
—Mel’s Motivational Blog
Okay, maybe she should’ve given some sort of lead-in announcement before the big one, but Tanner had been rambling and she needed him to just shut up for a second or she would’ve lost her nerve.
He was certainly quiet now. In fact, he looked like he was about to pass out. She’d never seen the color leave someone’s face so fast. Considering Tanner was one of the most confident men she knew, that was saying something.
With a shaky hand, he reached up and gripped the newel post. His skin slowly regained some color, but his jaw clenched so tight, she worried he’d crack teeth.
Melanie didn’t know what reaction she’d expected, to be honest. Right now she couldn’t tell if he was shocked or angry or a healthy dose of both. The silence seemed to grow heavier, or perhaps that was just the tension that had enveloped them.
In the short time she’d known him, she’d never seen him so still, so silent. What was he thinking? Was he just as freaked out as her? Was he trying to process the full meaning of what she’d said? Had he even heard her? Because the lack of actions and words from him had her wondering if she needed to repeat herself.
Tanner’s dark eyes held her in place, pinning her by the front door. Ironic, considering this is the only room of the house she’d been in. Melanie couldn’t even turn and look at that large oak door without heating up again. Quite a different circumstance being here this time than just over a month ago.
“The baby is yours,” she added, just in case he was about to ask that question. “I just found out this morning and I didn’t think telling you when I saw you earlier was the time or the place.”
Tanner blinked. “A . . . baby.”
“I understand if you don’t want any part of—”
“I used protection.”
Melanie swallowed and folded her arms over her chest. Confrontation always terrified her. Well, not when she’d been battling cases for others. She thrived on being the voice for people who couldn’t speak for themselves. But when the confrontation spun in her direction, she started to revert back to that abused housewife who’d lost her voice and her courage.
She’d worked diligently since her divorce to get over those insecurities, but she worried she might never. That woman lived deep inside her, no matter how hard she tried to eradicate her. There was always that sliver that bobbed to the surface when she least expected.
Melanie’s heart kicked up, her stomach tingled, her palms dampened.
If Tanner got angry, she’d leave. If he accused her of lying or sleeping with someone else, she’d leave. She was only here to tell him the situation, and what he decided to do with that information was totally on him. But she would not take the brunt of harsh words or accusations. She was much better than that and he would have to deal with his own issues without pulling her into his fears. She had her own.
“We did use protection,” she agreed with a slow nod. “Obviously it didn’t work.”
Tanner’s eyes narrowed as he raked a hand through his hair. He muttered something under his breath before he dropped his hand and sighed. “You’re sure it’s mine.”
Melanie gritted her teeth and counted backwards from ten . . . twice. Hadn’t she already told him this baby was his? Her ex had accused her of cheating on him before. He’d made a fool out of her in front of her friends—the ones he’d approved of, of course—during a small lunch at her house. He’d humiliated her, claiming she’d been seeing one of his assistants behind his back. There was no way in hell she’d let another man accuse her of something she didn’t do.
“Considering you’re the only man I’ve slept with in the last two years, I’m pretty sure.”
Tanner propped his hands on his hips. “Considering I barely know you, I had to ask.”
Okay, that was a fair statement on his part. Still, she didn’t want this situation to turn ugly or blow up into an argument. She’d had enough altercations to last a lifetime.
She totally got that he was shocked. Since she’d only taken the test twelve hours ago, the full reality of the pregnancy hadn’t taken ahold of her, either. Other than a missed period, she had no symptoms.
Melanie stared at Tanner another minute before turning and heading into his living area. She hadn’t ventured this far into his home before, and now she couldn’t even appreciate the charming old house. Maybe later, once her head wasn’t spinning and her stomach about to revolt. Pregnancy or nerves, she wasn’t sure, but she felt like hell right now. Maybe morning sickness was settling in? No, that didn’t make sense. It was late in the day. Did morning sickness make other appearances?
There was so much she didn’t know. She’d been an only child, never had a friend who’d been pregnant, hadn’t been around expectant women. How in the world was she supposed to cope or even figure out what was going on when she was completely and utterly clueless?
Her world had tipped completely on its side and she was struggling to right it. But she would. At this point in her life, she knew she could bounce back from anything.
Melanie sank to the edge of the leather sofa and dropped her purse to the floor by her feet. Now that she’d told him, she could breathe a little easier . . . though the color still hadn’t fully returned to his face.
The tension coiling in her lessened, now that the secret was out, but only a bit. There were still so many unknowns, like how he’d react once the shock wore off, how he’d treat her, if he even wanted to be part of the life of their child.
With everything still so new, Melanie didn’t want to take what he said at face value. Once reality fully settled in, Tanner could always change his mind, and saying something and doing something were usually not one and the same. She’d found that out firsthand during her marriage.
Tanner came in and stood near the wide picture window overlooking the front yard and tree-lined street. Silence remained heavy between them, making the tension thicker by the second and doing nothing to calm her erratic nerves.
Melanie pushed her cuticles back and stared at each finger, moving from one to the next. She had to be doing something, anything other than wonder what was going through his mind. She wanted to offer some brilliant words that would ease his worry, that would ease her own anxiety. There were none.
The fact was, they’d created a human and right now she had no clue if he even wanted to be part of the baby’s life when he was barely a part of hers.
Neville had only wanted children so he could use them as a publicity ploy. Everything circled back to how he could make himself look better. Having the so-called family life with the smiling wife and properly mannered kids would only boost ratings for a man running for any government office.
Much to his disappointment and rage, she’d never carried his child. He’d never remarried, instead focusing solely on moving toward his goal of the senate seat . . . all alone.
Her life with Neville had scarred her, shaped her in a way that affected each decision she’d made since living twenty-four months and eight days of pure terror. But the marriage had been over for a few years. Still, her experience was never far from her mind.
“We don’t know each other well,” she started, now picking at her pale pink nail polish. Jade would be irritated Melanie was ruining the manicure she’d just given her. “I acted so out of character when we were at the bar. I just . . . I let Livie and Jade talk me into going. I’d had a terrible day. Then Livie ended up leaving with Jax and Jade was dancing with some guy I’d never met. I wanted to ignore consequences and merely go with what I wanted.”
She didn’t need to mention her hours prior to the outing had been filled with fielding calls from her ex’s assistant. His damn assistant. Apparently Neville wanted to meet with her, but Melanie wasn’t about to give in to his crazy. Never again.
He’d left a veiled threat via his assistant, but Melanie had heard nonsense like that since she left him. He knew full well who held the cards now that she didn’t let him control her. With her pack of photos and proof of the abuse, he’d do best to remember who had the bigger balls here.
Neville wasn’t her problem right now . . . or ever again as far as she was concerned. No, Melanie needed to figure out Tanner’s role in her baby’s life. Did he even want a role?
“I just wanted to get out and have a good time,” she went on, still keeping her eyes on her hands. She couldn’t quite look him in the eyes for fear of what she’d see staring back. “Then you flirted with me, asked me to dance, and I thought, why the hell not. I didn’t expect . . . well, everything that happened after.”
Their chemistry had taken over, consuming them. They’d barely spoken a word, their touches and long stares spoke louder than any words could.
Melanie hadn’t bothered fighting the attraction, the pull toward Tanner. She’d wanted to prove that she was in control of her world, of what happened. That was the whole reason she’d left her old life, to stand on her own two feet and call all the shots.
But a fling? One hundred percent not her style. Yet Tanner had sparked something in her from day one . . . something she’d yet to label. So what if she was human? She’d wanted him, and after two years of no sex, plus years of bad sex before, she decided it was well past time to take charge.
Still, why did she have to be pulled toward powerful men? They both worked in a world where they held so much control, both were confident, assertive, and bold. She couldn’t help but compare the two, considering she hadn’t dated, let alone had sex with anyone since her divorce.
But Tanner wasn’t like Neville. Tanner had an ego, he had confidence, but he didn’t use either of those to force his hand and take what he didn’t deserve. He used his power to help others.
From the time she got into town, Melanie had heard enough about the bachelor officer to know he was well-respected and admired. Neville only had the respect of his brainwashed voters, and those people didn’t know the real man behind the expensive suits and flashy smile.
Tanner still hadn’t spoken and the silence became too much. They had to talk about this, or all of the uncertainty would surely drive her insane.
What happened to the guy she’d known for the past several months? What happened to the self-assured, take-charge man from the bar? The fact that he still hadn’t said a word was concerning. She had no idea if he truly believed her or not, but she wished he’d say something . . . anything.
Clearly they were both not the same characters they’d been that night. Life-changing consequences would do that to a person.
“This situation isn’t ideal for me, either,” she added, risking a glance his way.
His dark eyes masked any emotion he might be feeling. “You seem calm.”
Tanner’s intense stare had her nerves swirling even more. Something dark lurked in his eyes, something she couldn’t put her finger on.
“I’m not calm on the inside. I’m barely holding it together. When life constantly throws roadblocks in your path, you have to cope. Plus, I have to remind myself this isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to me. Getting hysterical now won’t change anything and won’t help me figure out what to do next.”
Tanner leaned his shoulder against the wall next to the window frame and hooked a thumb through his belt loop. He stared another second before blowing out a long breath. He raked a hand down his face, the stubble along his jaw scraping against his palm.
“Damn it, I should’ve asked how you were feeling. Are you alright? Physically? You’re healthy to carry a child to term? Have you seen the doctor?”
Healthy to carry a child to term? That was an odd question for a guy to ask, even if he was the father. But the fact that he even asked about her specifically was a true testament to the decent man he was. He might be shaken and worried, but he cared. A part of her heart melted right there, but just because a man showed concern didn’t mean something was going to grow from this situation. She simply wasn’t used to such acts from a guy, especially one she’d only met months ago.
Still, having a good man for a friend or an acquaintance was a far cry from having one as the father of your child.
“I haven’t seen the doctor yet,” she supplied. “I called my doctor back in Atlanta to try to get a referral here in town. I mean, I plan on staying here, so it just makes sense, but I didn’t know who to go to.”
There was just so much to consider, and she was still trying to get her feet under her in this new town. She was still living in Livie’s childhood home for now. At some point she’d have to decide what to do as far as getting a place for herself and really focusing on her future, especially now that she was bringing a child into her life.
Neville had always said something was wrong with her that she hadn’t gotten pregnant in their two years of marriage. What he didn’t know is that she’d never stopped taking her birth control pills. There was no way she’d want to bring a baby into that loveless, abusive marriage. His political aspirations weren’t her concern, and she sure as hell wasn’t about to let an innocent child be used as a pawn in his game.
If he had found out what she’d done, Melanie would have surely paid the price. Taking the risk and lying was her only hope of saving an unknowing baby from growing up with that monster as a father. It had taken Melanie a long time to conjure up the courage to leave her husband. But the idea of staying and enduring more abuse, mental and physical, was worth all the risk.
She’d started running a few days a week as a way to clear her head and think. He hadn’t liked that. Hadn’t wanted her to better herself or lose weight and attract the attention of others. He’d gushed in public over the fact his wife had a law degree, and what a power couple they could be together. But, behind closed doors, he hadn’t liked that one bit. She was too smart, too threatening to him, because what if she came across as more powerful? Neville’s insecurities where she’d been concerned were absolutely preposterous.
One day something clicked for Melanie after reading an article online about loving yourself before you could love anyone else. Right then and there, she had decided if she didn’t put herself first, nobody else would. Sure as hell not her husband.
And when she realized she did want to love herself first for a change, that’s when she started gathering information and formulating a plan to get the hell out of that marriage. A risky move, but one she had to take if she ever wanted a new, happy life.
“I don’t know what your expectations are of me.” Tanner crossed the room and came to stand in front of her. His eyes never wavered, but that muscle in his jaw ticked as if he was trying to keep his emotions in check. “But I will be part of the baby’s life.”
A bit of stress slipped from her. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
Even though they didn’t know each other really well, Melanie knew Tanner was a good guy. There was no disputing his reputation as an officer. She couldn’t help but worry, though, because there was still so much about him that was kept in the dark.
She’d thought she’d known Neville pretty well when they’d married, but once they were bound together, he instantly transformed. It was almost like some switch had been flipped and he’d gotten exactly what he wanted.
Being married to such a powerful man left her questioning everything. She’d thought Neville was her way out of the poor, depressing life she’d led. She’d been young and impressionable and honestly thought he cared for her. She couldn’t have been more wrong.
Melanie was a different woman than she had been. Life lessons had forced her to grow up, to face the harsh realities. The ugliness of her marriage, the behind-the-scenes in politics—she’d learned too much in such a short marriage.
Tanner was powerful in his own way. Now her one night of throwing caution to the wind and taking what she wanted had bound her to him for life. Thankfully, she wasn’t leading with her heart like she had before. She was going into this with her eyes wide open. There would be no hearts and flowers and Tanner on bended knee extending a ring. The reality was, they’d created a life and now they had to come together to best decide how to proceed.
Melanie might want him to be part of their baby’s life, but she wasn’t about to relinquish control and jump into another relationship. Attraction was one thing, pregnancy was one thing . . . a relationship? That was an area she wanted to avoid until the right man came into her life. She knew he was out there.
Neville hadn’t murdered that dream. One day, she vowed. One day she’d have a husband who loved her, and a family.
“I don’t expect you to think this is some sort of relationship or that I need to be looked after.” She had to make that clear. She didn’t want to be cared for or handled like she was going to fall apart. “I won’t exclude you from anything regarding the baby.”
Tanner dropped down to sit on the edge of the coffee table. Those dark eyes pierced her, and she instantly recalled exactly the moment he’d pressed her against the door, gripping both her wrists in one hand. That entire night had been thrilling, no fear whatsoever.
And that’s how she knew she had turned over a new chapter in her life. The fear of her past would remain exactly where it belonged.
Ironically, she had a new fear now. The fear of the unknown.
Melanie turned her face away and pulled in a deep breath. Just a year ago she never would’ve let a man handle her in such a rough yet arousing manner. But, thanks to her friends, her successful blog, and her popular social media accounts, Melanie had become more resilient than she’d ever thought possible. She was damn proud of how far she’d come.
“So you’re giving me the option to see other women?”
His harsh, bold question brought her gaze back up. “I don’t want you to think you’re tied to me or—”
“Or what?” he spat. “Despite what you may have heard, I don’t have a revolving bedroom door and I sure as hell would never turn away from my responsibilities. This baby and you are top priority from this moment on. Period. So don’t put me in a category with some bastard from your past.”
Okay, so she’d stepped on a nerve. Or maybe he had his own past that still haunted him. They were going to have to find some common ground and get a little personal if they planned on raising their baby without tension.
Melanie couldn’t help the chatter she’d overheard about Tanner, nor could she help but compare him to Neville. She’d not been with anyone else in her life. It was impossible not to line up the two experiences in her head.
A guy like Tanner was precisely the type she’d chosen on purpose to help her get back out into the world and feel like she was in control again. New town, new life . . . and all of that.
At the time Tanner had been her safest, yet most dangerous option. Her friends all knew him, knew how great a guy he was. Yet he was only looking for a good time.
Looking back, maybe she shouldn’t have been so brazen. Maybe she shouldn’t have chosen someone her friends knew so well, because now there was no way they could keep that night just between them.
Melanie hadn’t been able to tell her best gal pals what really happened that night they’d gone to Taps, because the last thing she needed or wanted was awkwardness to settle into their little group. She and Tanner had agreed nobody needed to know.
Clearly that was off the table now. In a few short months, her disappearing waistline would give away all her secrets.
“I plan on being with you through this entire pregnancy.”
Melanie jerked back. “Excuse me?”
Those dark eyes narrowed. She realized now he didn’t mean to be so ridiculously sexy with that stare, it was just naturally Tanner. Yet it was that intense gaze that had followed her down the dark, narrow hallway of the bar. It was that same heavy-lidded glare that had caused those butterflies in her belly each time he’d flashed it in the days, the weeks leading up to their intimate night.
“I wanted to see you again before I found out about the baby,” he stated simply. “But now that I know you’re pregnant with my child, I plan on being part of your life.”
Fear grabbed hold from the inside, threatening to strangle her and rob her of the very foundation she’d worked for two years to secure. She wasn’t about to have another man trying to control her. Yes, this baby was Tanner’s, too, but she refused to relinquish the strong hold she’d finally gotten on her life.
Melanie rushed to her feet and stepped aside to get out of that narrow space between the sofa and the coffee table.
“No. No.” She shook her head and walked to the window where Tanner had just been. “I’m not dating, I’m not . . . anything
with you. We did one night, that’s all.”
The idea of getting involved with a man, of entering into a relationship or anything else that would threaten her much-needed independence terrified her even more than the idea of being a mother. Jumping into something serious with the first man since Neville would only be a rebound. No way could she trust her heart with a man she was simply physically attracted to. There had to be more to build on . . . and not just a pregnancy.
Being married with a family had always been a goal of hers. She’d not dated much before Neville. She’d always been too insecure about her weight, about getting close to a guy. She’d not lived in the best area of town or had the best education, so she was backward and shy. But Melanie’s father had worked for Neville’s father at their estate, doing yard work. Neville had caught sight of her one day when she stopped by with lunch for her dad. Neville had persisted until she’d finally given in to a date. He’d been charming, caring, almost too good to be true. She should’ve recognized that red flag.
Needless to say, Melanie’s family wasn’t too keen that she’d divorced a man who was so powerful and heading for bigger things. They’d wanted better for their little girl. They’d wanted her to make something of herself and move on from the depressing area they lived in.
Melanie never cared about the money or power. She cared about her sanity, her health, and getting out before something truly tragic happened.
“I’m not negotiating on this,” he demanded.
Melanie gritted her teeth as she tossed a glance over her shoulder. “And I won’t be controlled.”
If anything, those eyes of his got darker. “I never said anything about controlling you, Mel. And stop acting like I’m your ex. That’s not fair to either one of us.”
She shook her head. “I can’t get into this with you. I need some time to process it all.”
“And you think pushing me away will help?” he asked.
Melanie turned her attention back to the window when he stood. She didn’t want to keep staring at his broad shoulders, his lean hips, or those long legs as they ate up the distance between them. No matter how attractive he was, now was not the time to play the dating game. She couldn’t focus on this pregnancy and worry about a relationship.
Staring out the front window toward the picturesque street, Melanie swallowed. “I don’t know,” she murmured.
Everything over these past few months had been so out of character for her. Perhaps she was sleep deprived from helping Livie work on the legalities of the airport and discussing the redesign and all the possibilities. Her blog and social media had skyrocketed even more since coming to Haven because Melanie had changed so much and poured every bit of her emotions out, to inspire others.
Who was she kidding? None of that was really out of character. She shouldn’t have given in to her desire and slept with Tanner. Period. That’s what had been so far gone from her usual comfort zone. She’d stepped out of that zone and obliterated the line.
But that voice in the back of her mind, the one that still lived there even though she’d divorced Neville, that told her nobody would ever want her . . . maybe she’d just wanted to be selfish for a bit. Now that someone like Tanner showed interest, and she was interested back, she could be in control.
She’d wanted to prove to herself that she was desirable, that she could attract a man who wanted her as much as she wanted him. Melanie had just wanted to shut up that voice of doubt even if only for one night.
“I have no idea what to do from here.” Melanie smiled when a little girl ran down the sidewalk with a wand of bubbles trailing behind her. “Whatever you and I decide, this baby has to come first.”
“I agree.”
At least that was something. She couldn’t even fathom dating him right now. Or dating anyone, for that matter. Even if she weren’t pregnant, Melanie didn’t think jumping back into the dating pool was the smartest idea at this point in her life.
Then again, Tanner hadn’t mentioned dating. He’d said he’d be in her life . . . so what did that mean? Because all she’d heard was him saying he’d insert himself into her world and take over. Was that just the past betraying her now? Was that her mind lying to her?
She had no clue, but she did know all of this had to go day by day. They were both shaken up, clearly dealing with the struggle in their own way.
Melanie looked back over her shoulder. “Are you close with your parents?”
“My mother just remarried a few years ago. My dad was a real bastard, but my stepdad treats her like a queen. They met at some charity event and to listen to them, it was love at first sight.”
Tanner stood only a few feet away, his eyes assessing her as if he was weighing his next move or how much he wanted to share from his past.
“They travel quite a bit. My stepdad has a few vacation homes, but they’ll be home for the holidays. My mom will be excited. She wanted me settled down and producing children years ago.”
Oddly enough, Melanie had wanted that very same dream for herself. Yet here she was, not married or even in love, which was fine considering what marriage had presented to her.
One day
, she vowed. She’d find the man who made her jittery in all the right ways, who made her want to give up her single status and return to joint everything. But that man would have to be a hell of a special guy.
“I’m not settling down again until I find a someone I want to be with forever,” she told him as she searched out the window for the playful little girl. “One failed marriage was enough and now with a child in the mix, I can’t afford to trust my heart so easily.”
“I’m not proposing,” he amended. “But you do deserve someone who’s not a dick.”
Melanie couldn’t help but laugh as she turned back to face him. “You don’t even know him.”
Tanner shrugged as he took a step closer. “I’ve heard enough and I see the look on your face when he’s mentioned. Which is exactly why you need to quit comparing me to him. I have my reasons for wanting to stay close to you and the baby and none of them have to do with control.”
Tamping down the juxtaposition of emotions, Melanie turned from the window and smoothed her hair back from her face. Neville had no place in this conversation . . . or in her life.
“If you wouldn’t mind keeping this to yourself for now. I want to go to the doctor and make sure everything is okay. And if word gets back to Neville . . .”
Fear rippled through her. He would be furious. He was already mortified that his wife left him, but her overwhelming stash of blackmail had left him little choice. At least she’d been strong enough, and smart enough, to keep evidence against him.
“Hey.” Tanner closed the distance between them, concern etched over his face. “This can stay between us as long as you need, but Neville won’t be an issue. I’ll make damn sure of that.”
The intensity in Tanner’s eyes, the hard set of his jaw, and the stern tone of his voice almost had Melanie believing him. But he couldn’t know the type of man her ex was. Nobody did. Neville’s arms reached wider than even Melanie likely knew about. He had corrupt people in his pocket in nearly every town in this state.
Tanner might think he could take on Neville, but Melanie knew nobody could take on that monster if they didn’t have a good amount of ammunition.
Even though Melanie had blackmailed him—that was the only way she’d been able to leave—she still wasn’t going to get too comfortable in her new life. Neville had made it clear he’d get her back. His assistant had also warned Melanie that he meant what he said. Melanie needed to be on guard . . . always.
There was no need to concern Tanner with all of her ugliness or the secrets she kept to herself. They already had enough worries between them.
“I’m hoping to get in to see the new doctor soon,” she told him, needing to circle the topic away from her ex.
“I’ll go with you.”
“No.” Melanie held out her hands, worried he’d step closer. It was difficult enough to think with him across the room, let alone right up on her. “I promise to call you and tell you everything, but if you’re there, it’s just too . . . I don’t know.”
Yes, she did. She knew exactly what it would be like. Like they were a couple and the idea of trusting another man with her heart again scared her more than the pregnancy.
“You don’t want a relationship, I get it. But I’m coming with you. I’m not asking on this.”
He did take a step forward and continued to do so as she stepped back. Finally, she was against the wall with him only inches from her. Nothing about this man scared her. Well, aside from her emotions and gut-clenching, toe-curling attraction. But when her ex would back her into a wall, he’d been in a fit of rage. When she looked at Tanner all she saw was concern . . . and desire.
“I know you’re scared. I have no idea the hell you’ve endured, but I won’t hurt you.” Tanner reached up, sliding one fingertip along the side of her face to remove the stray strand of hair. “That’s hard for you to believe, but this is my child, too. I want the very best for both of you and I intend to be there for every single step.”
Melanie couldn’t focus, not when she could still feel that easy slide of his fingertip, not when that simple gesture reminded her of how tender, yet passionate and reckless, he’d been. Why did she still have to want him? Why this man?
“I need space,” she told him, bringing her hands up to flatten her palms against his taut chest. “I can’t think when you’re this close.”
His eyes dipped to her lips, then back up. “It’s still there.”
Melanie shook her head, not even bothering to ask what he meant. “We have to ignore it.”
“Why should we?”
Oh, no. “We have to,” she whispered, feeling her resolve slipping away.
“Mel.”
She shut her eyes. Maybe if she wasn’t looking at him she wouldn’t have this ache, this need inside her. But she could still smell his woodsy scent, still feel the brush of his body as he shifted closer.
She’d thought staying away from him after that night would help her move on like the strong woman she claimed to be. Unfortunately, that gap in time only made her ache for more.
“I still want you,” he murmured. “Damn if I’ve tried not to, but knowing you’re carrying my child makes me want you even more.”
Panic bubbled up in her. Melanie opened her eyes and darted out from between Tanner and the wall. She made her way across the room and pulled in a deep breath. Flashes from her marriage darted through her mind, but that was all in the past. She had to keep reminding herself each time her thoughts drifted. She was safe now.
“Mel?”
With her back to him, she held up a hand to hold him away. “You can’t say things like that, Tanner. No matter how attracted I am, there’s nothing else for us. I can’t be more than your friend.”
“And the mother of my child.”
Dropping her hand to her side, she nodded. “Yes.”
Silence settled over the room once more before she heard the soft footfalls behind her.
“I don’t know what all you endured, but I’ve seen some ugly shit in my day. You don’t have to recover alone.”
Squaring her shoulders and spinning around, she nodded. “I’m not alone and I’ve recovered. I revert back to that scared woman every now and then, but not as often as I used to. I’ll be fine, and I really just want to focus on this baby.”
He looked as if he wanted to say something else, but ultimately he gave a clipped nod. That pain still flashed through his eyes. Something had hurt him, or someone. Looks like the tough officer had his own past to deal with.
“I’ll respect your wishes,” he told her. “We don’t have to talk about what happened before you came here, we don’t have to let anyone know about the baby just yet, but the doctor’s appointment isn’t an option. I’ll be there.”
She could deal with that. “Thank you.”
“But,” he warned, crossing those thick arms over his broad chest. “I won’t be silent in this pregnancy. You can’t stop me from trying to protect you, either.”
“I don’t need—”
“Maybe not,” he interjected, his eyes never wavering from hers. “I can’t stand to see that fear in you and for my own reasons, I need to be by your side.”
And here she thought she’d hidden her insecurities so well. She prided herself on being strong, on forcing herself to put one foot in front of the other, no matter the circumstances.
As much as she wanted to let Tanner console her, it would be all too easy to fall back into the old Melanie, who worried if she stood on her own she’d fall. That woman was gone.
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him, confident she truly would be. “We’re both just reeling from this shock and it’s best if I go.”
Weeks ago, she’d given in to those sultry eyes and the unspoken invitation for comfort. It had been so easy to seek solace from him that night. He’d made her forget, he’d made her feel powerful in her own right, and he’d left her longing for more.
“You’re running.”
Melanie threw her hands out. “Yeah, I am. Okay? I’m out of my element, Tanner, and I’m terrified. Of you and this baby. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
He didn’t move, but the way his stare held her in place was just as potent as if he’d reached out and touched her. “I just want you to be honest with yourself. Don’t sugarcoat things for me. You don’t have to be resilient all the time.”
Melanie closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath. “But I do,” she whispered. “I have to.”
When she opened her eyes, she was rewarded with a soft smile and slight tilt of his head. “You’re so damn remarkable.”
Surprised by his reaction, Melanie stepped back and stared across the room. Compliments from a man were most definitely out of her comfort zone, so she wasn’t really sure how to reply. She spotted her purse still on the floor in front of the couch where she’d dropped it when she came in.
“Will you be at the bonfire this weekend?” she asked as she crossed to retrieve her bag.
Tanner shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Yeah. I’ll be there.”
Hoisting her strap up onto her shoulder, Melanie turned to face him once more. Those heavy lids half shielded dark eyes. Tanner was such a potent man and could elicit a stirring of emotions inside her she’d never experienced—all from across a room.
“Stay.”
Melanie stilled. That one, simple word hovered in the air between them. “Tanner—”
“Just to talk,” he amended. “I just . . . damn it, I don’t want things awkward, and I don’t want you leaving here feeling like I should’ve done or said something more. And I need to know that you’re okay.”
His concern for her well-being could be perceived as controlling, but she wasn’t getting that vibe. Whatever had him checking his emotions and keeping closed off from her, made Melanie wonder what he’d endured in his past. She wasn’t naïve enough to think she was the only one with secrets.
Surely Jade or Livie would know more about Tanner’s life. If they didn’t, then Melanie would see if Livie could get the lowdown from Jax. That was all sneaky, but Melanie truly wanted to know what she was dealing with.
Tanner obviously wanted to fix things, if that was even the right wording here. Someone strong and resilient like Tanner used his power to help, to make everything better. But he was also in law enforcement. He was most definitely dominating and pure alpha.
Would he relinquish control where she and the baby were concerned, or would he insist he was doing everything for her benefit? Because she’d heard that lame defense before.
“I was going to light a fire out back,” he added, then cursed beneath his breath. “You probably shouldn’t be around smoke right now. Wait, you’re going to the bonfire. I should research all of this.”
He muttered the last sentence almost as if giving himself a reminder. Melanie couldn’t help the clench to her heart at such sincerity. She could get used to a man who actually cared.
No. Just no. She couldn’t have her heart involved right now. She needed to stick with facts and not emotions. The fact was she and Tanner were having a baby. They were no more than acquaintances, and possibly friends by default because of their group. That was fine. Friendships she could handle. She excelled at being a good friend.
Did she throw in the fact that she was attracted to him? That she actually wanted to stay because the thought of going back home and lying awake all night with worry, terrified her?
At least now that he knew, they shared that common bond of fear. That would pass, though, and she needed to keep her attraction compartmentalized so she didn’t get too wrapped up in this man.
“I can’t.” She gripped her purse strap and offered a smile to ease the anxiety lines between his brows. “We both need to think and . . . yeah. I need to just go.”
Melanie hurried to the entryway and got as far as her hand on the doorknob before she felt him behind her.
“We’ll figure this out. I’m not going anywhere.”
She shivered at his determined tone. Without a word, and without looking back, Melanie walked out and shut the door behind her.