Chapter Six
I’m working on myself for myself by myself.
—Mel’s Motivational Blog
She was going to make him fight this relationship—or whatever the hell they had going on—every step of the way.
Tanner waited while Melanie took a shower to rinse off the smoke. He told her he wanted to talk, but hell if he knew what he wanted to talk about. All he knew was that he didn’t want to just leave her. He’d had a hell of a night trying to get a twenty-five-year-old mother of two and her children to safety. She’d been hesitant, especially when the kids started crying and were confused as to why there was a stranger trying to get them to leave.
Such a dramatic change in their lives, but necessary if they wanted security and safety. Tanner had held the weeping toddler in his arms while his partner had talked with the mother.
He’d taken longer than he’d originally thought, but as much as he’d wanted to get to the cookout and see his friends, see Melanie, that family had to come first. Then he’d felt guilty because he’d created his own family and they would have to come before the job.
So now he was waiting for Melanie to finish up because he hadn’t seen her for a couple of days, and damn it, he just wanted to. He didn’t want her to believe he’d just ditched her or their friends tonight. At some point he’d have to let her know a portion of what he was doing. Melanie deserved to know she wasn’t coming in second.
For years, he’d been married to his job, but all of that would have to change and his priorities had to shift. Somehow, he’d figure everything out. Too many people needed him—whether they admitted it or not—and he wouldn’t let them down.
Tanner had no idea what was going on between Melanie and him. The passion they’d shared hadn’t stopped, at least not on his part. He still desired her just as much—no, more—than before the pregnancy announcement.
Speaking of announcement, he’d have some explaining to do to Jax and Cash when he saw them again. Knowing his nosy cousins, they’d show up at his house tonight or first thing in the morning.
No doubt they’d want to discuss his feelings and rehash the past. There was no need to state the obvious parallel circumstances. He knew this was going to be hell on his nerves for a while, but perhaps the doctor visit on Monday would help alleviate his fears somewhat.
Tanner took a seat on the new leather sofa. This house was Livie’s childhood home, and she’d done some sprucing up when she’d originally intended to sell the place.
Livie, along with Jade and Melanie, had come into town when Livie’s father had passed. He’d willed his old airport to her and Jax. Of course, those two hadn’t seen eye to eye on anything, and Livie had been hell-bent on getting in and out of Haven, keeping her emotions out of the equation.
That had gone straight to hell when she and Jax fell in love and Livie started playing mommy to Piper. Now they were all gearing up to renovate the run-down airport, making it into something grand and luxurious for higher-end clientele.
At first Tanner wasn’t sold on the idea. High-end clients in Haven? But the film industry was booming in Georgia and more and more people were coming in to the small towns in the state. Why not offer them a quaint place that would cater to their needs and be more personable?
Actors, directors, producers, they were flocking in, and Livie had come up with a plan to accommodate this type of business.
So here they all were with a hand in the operation. Tanner didn’t have quite a heavy hand other than voicing his opinion occasionally and renting a space for the Cessna Skycatcher he and Cash shared.
The water stopped running. Tanner glanced overhead, imagining Melanie stepping from the shower and toweling off. In their rush of frantic sex over a month ago, they hadn’t taken all of their clothes off . . . something he regretted now. Tanner hadn’t gotten to take his time and truly appreciate her.
That still irritated the hell out of him. She’d obviously had a hellish marriage and past before coming to town, and he’d treated her like a one-night stand.
Technically she had been just that, but it wasn’t until after their night together that Tanner started kicking himself for not being a bit more of a gentleman. Apparently his bedroom manners had vanished about as quickly as a portion of their clothes.
Raking a hand down his face, Tanner pulled out his cell. He needed sleep in the worst way. Burning both ends of the candle was exhausting, but he wasn’t leaving.
He focused on looking up random pregnancy facts instead of thinking of the naked woman so close, yet so far. There were so many things he’d blocked out from before. Every pregnancy was different, every woman’s body was different. He had to be mentally prepared this time. Maybe if he thrust himself into research and educating himself, he’d have a better grasp on how to handle all of this.
One site Tanner hit on had images he really hadn’t readied himself for. Backing out of that one, he chose one that sounded less terrifying. Statistics of things that could go wrong was sure as hell not an area he wanted to read about. He knew full well what could go wrong.
He had no idea what he was looking for, though. Something to reassure him that everything would be fine. Some type of crystal ball into the future would be nice about now. He wanted to know what was going to go on with Melanie, with doctor’s appointments—hell, with everything.
His first time going through this he’d been shut out. His fiancée had told him he was worrying too much and his worry made her nervous. He hadn’t attended the appointments, except for the one where they learned they were having a boy.
A swell of emotions balled up in his throat and he gritted his teeth and shut his eyes, willing the past to stay where it belonged.
Tanner prided himself on always being prepared, but nothing could get you ready for losing everything. When he’d been in the air force, he’d educated himself on anything that would further his love of the skies. Then when he’d gotten out, he’d joined Haven’s PD and always had a backup plan for any situation. He’d always had a sense of security, even during dangerous situations.
Right now, though, he was freefalling with no end in sight and no cushion.
He continued to scroll, reading about the different ultrasounds, the size of the baby at different weeks, how their little bodies developed at different stages. Fascinating and terrifying all at the same time.
When he scrolled by the term preeclampsia
he’d had to keep going. There was no room for fear. Not with Melanie.
“Find something interesting?”
Tanner’s gaze drifted to the doorway where Melanie stood smiling. “What? Oh, just reading.”
“It must’ve been some article. I stood there for a good three minutes and you didn’t even budge.”
Had he been reading that long? How had he not noticed her there? So much for those cop instincts.
Melanie crossed the room and came to stand beside him. She tilted her head and glanced down to his phone. He watched as her brows shot up, her gaze darting to his.
“Reading up on all the things to come?”
Tanner set his phone on the antique coffee table in front of him and leaned back against the cushion. He wasn’t ready to tell her he’d been down this path before. She’d want to know what happened, and informing her of how things ended wouldn’t be the best. No need to incite fear in her when it wasn’t necessary.
Melanie was different. This pregnancy was different. It had to be, and no matter how many times he had to repeat this mantra to himself, he would until he believed every single word.
Tanner raked his eyes over her, which was impossible not to do when she looked so damn good. Melanie had changed into a little pair of cotton shorts and a tank that molded to her curves. Was she trying to torment him? Her wet hair was twisted up on top of her head, and whatever soap or lotion she’d used was driving him out of his ever-loving mind.
Knowing Melanie, she had no clue about the power she held. She was going for comfort and relaxing, but her innocent look had his imagination working overtime.
“Just trying to wrap my head around everything.”
Melanie blew out a sigh and turned away. She crossed to the oversized leather chair with an ottoman in the corner. Tanner kept his focus on her as she curled up in the chair and stared back.
How could this awkwardness settle so easily between them when they’d been so hot for each other? Hell, he was still hot for her. She felt the same. He hadn’t missed the way her breath caught when he’d held her earlier, he hadn’t missed when her eyes widened a split second before darting down to his lips. Melanie was just as attracted . . . she just didn’t want to be.
When she tried to stifle a yawn, Tanner felt guilty for hovering. That was something he’d have to work on so as not to freak her out, but it was damn hard not to want to be near her, to make sure she truly was okay.
“We can talk tomorrow,” he told her. “I don’t have to hang around.”
Melanie shook her head. “You’re fine. I mean, I’m tired, but the shower helped and I couldn’t fall asleep if I went to bed now. Too much on my mind.”
As busy as he was with work and the undercover evenings, Tanner had to remember she was the pregnant one and just as busy. In addition to her blog site, the social media accounts, most likely her emails exploding because of her popularity, she was also working the legal side of the airport renovations.
“How are the airport plans coming?” he asked.
Getting back on common ground and away from the attraction, the pregnancy, perhaps they could eradicate this damn uncomfortable tension.
She tipped her head and narrowed her eyes. “Not what I thought you were sticking around to talk about.”
Tanner smiled. “I pride myself on keeping people on their toes.”
Melanie gave a slight shrug and rested her cheek on the cushion. “They’re actually coming along pretty well. All of the permits are a go. Zach is talking with the architect to finalize the design.”
Speaking of busy, Zach Monroe was one hell of a construction worker, and in high demand. He and his brothers had opened a women’s only resort and spa only two years ago. So many around the town had laughed at the concept of three manly men opening something so feminine. But then everyone learned they were fulfilling their late sister’s dream.
Once word had gotten out, the place had exploded onto the map. Day-trippers from Savannah flocked in, ladies flew in for long weekends. Bella Vous was quite a sight. They’d branched out and had a small café run by Liam, the chef of the brothers.
Now Zach was putting some of his jobs aside to assist with the airport renovations and there wasn’t a better man for that job.
“I need to get in another flight soon,” Tanner commented. “I haven’t been in too long.”
“You’re too busy with work.”
He’d never thought being busy with work was a problem, but now that he had just added more to his life, he might need to reevaluate his schedule.
No, he hadn’t just added to his life. He’d made a family. A family that needed him to provide security and stability. Melanie still worried about her ex. She’d hinted before, but Tanner wasn’t going to let anything or anyone threaten his family.
“What is it you really wanted to talk about?” Melanie asked, unfolding her legs and stretching them out on the ottoman.
Damn. Those shapely legs and bare feet held his attention longer than they should’ve. Seeing her so relaxed, with a touch of heavy lids that reminded him of her face when he’d had her pinned against the door . . .
Tanner shifted his focus and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I don’t know, Mel. All I know is that I wanted to see you.”
When she didn’t say anything, he risked glancing her way again. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth for just a moment.
“You want honesty, that’s it,” he added.
“We agreed to one night,” she murmured.
Tanner held back his laughter. “We didn’t agree to any such thing. We were too busy breaking speed records getting back to my place and tearing each other’s clothes off.”
Her eyes widened. “I don’t think we should talk about that night.”
Irritated and more than turned on, Tanner came to his feet and made his way across the room. He sat on the edge of the ottoman right next to her feet.
“And why shouldn’t we discuss it?”
He had to give her credit, she kept her eyes on his, even though he silently challenged her by staring right back. He wanted to know what she was thinking, what she was feeling. Damn it. He wanted her, and he knew full well she was just as attracted.
“Because of the way you’re looking at me,” she whispered.
Tanner couldn’t suppress the smile. “And how is that?”
“Like you want me.”
“Because I do.”
Melanie stared at him a moment longer before she reached up and pulled the holder from her hair. Wet sections hung like thick ropes over her shoulder. She slid her fingers through the strands as she continued to hold his eyes.
“You can’t say things like that. We have other issues than sexual attraction.”
“My attraction isn’t an issue,” he countered, settling a hand on her ankle. She jerked beneath his touch, but didn’t move. “Let me take you to dinner.”
“It’s late.”
He slid his hand up to her calf. “I didn’t mean now. Tomorrow.”
“You think dating is going to solve things?”
“We both have to eat dinner.” His hand slid an inch higher. “We should probably get to know each other even better, since we’re bound for life now.”
The second she tensed beneath his touch, Tanner knew he’d said the wrong words. When she tried to slide her leg from beneath his hand, he kept a firm hold.
“Don’t,” he warned. “Don’t put me in some category when you have no idea where I truly belong. Get to know me, the real me.”
Melanie tipped her head just enough to showcase her defiance. “I recognize power and control.”
Tanner leaned forward just a bit. He didn’t want her to be afraid of him, not ever. He’d seen the hell his mother had lived through at the harsh words of his father. He’d seen the eyes of the women he’d helped over the last year. Those who had been broken, beaten down, nearly destroyed, and were just trying to reclaim their lives.
Melanie had that. Every now and again he’d catch a flash in her eyes. If he hadn’t worked so closely around evil, he might not have noticed. Then again, he noticed everything about Melanie.
“Power and control come in many different layers, Mel.” He softened his tone, his touch on her leg. “You’ve only been exposed to the ugly side.”
Those bright eyes narrowed. “You have no clue what I’ve been exposed to.”
Dirty politician, jerk of a husband, a man who didn’t appreciate the woman he had. Tanner had a pretty good idea.
“Then tell me.” He removed his hand and shifted so he wasn’t touching her at all. “Explain to me so I understand. Let me take you out.”
She swung her legs to the side and came to her feet. As she started to pass him, Tanner reached out and held on to her hand until she turned her attention down to him.
“Why won’t you let me in?”
Her thumb feathered over his knuckles a second before she removed her hand from his. “Because I can’t afford to.”
He’d never heard her so conflicted, but he didn’t get a chance to question her parting shot. One moment she was looking at him with pain in her eyes and the next she was gone. He heard her mounting the steps and Tanner knew he’d pushed too hard, too fast. He’d made the mistake of assuming they could move forward based on their chemistry.
What now, though? As much as he wanted her physically, he wanted her to see him as non-threatening. She obviously hadn’t been afraid of him before or she never would’ve slept with him.
Clearly this pregnancy had her more scared than he’d thought. Well, that made two of them. Even if he weren’t so worried about the baby, about her, he’d still want her. There was no denying that he’d been interested in her from the moment he’d pulled her over and given her a ticket her first day in Haven.
She had rolled that window down on her Beemer and glared at him over the tops of her gold sunglasses. She’d been irritated and so damn sexy.
The front door opened and closed and Tanner jumped to his feet.
“My eyes are closed,” Jade announced. “Don’t mind me.”
Tanner couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s all clear,” he called back.
Jade poked her head into the living room, her eyes darting all around until she finally zeroed in on Tanner. “Where’s Melanie?”
Looping his thumbs through his belt loops, Tanner stepped forward. “She just went up to bed.”
Jade stared at him a minute longer before crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m still processing all of this.”
“I’d say that’s the theme for all of us.”
Pursing her lips, she continued to eye him. “Look, I know you’re a great guy, but—”
“Really, Jade?” Tanner shook his head and offered his childhood friend a smile. “We’ve known each other for years. Are you really going to pull out the clichéd warning about hurting your friend?”
Jade blew out a sigh and dropped her hands. “Hell, Tanner, I was. I don’t even know what to say to you or Melanie. You both have been through so much.”
Tanner figured Jade knew everything about Melanie’s marriage, and as much as he wanted to know, he respected Melanie enough to wait. She needed to be the one to tell him.
“I have a feeling she’s been through far worse than I have,” he replied.
“That would be a matter of opinion. You lost a great deal once.” Jade smoothed her hair back from her face and offered him a smile. “Just give her time. She may seem tough and independent, but she’s still healing.”
“I can see that. I just wish she didn’t lump me in with that asshole she was married to.”
Jade reached out and patted his cheek. “Honestly, I don’t think she knows any different. She’s a strong woman, but even strong women have a weak spot. Her dad wasn’t the best, so she’s never had a good man in her life.”
Tanner gritted his teeth. He wanted to hunt down the jerk dad and bastard of an ex and . . . hell, he didn’t know. Every scenario that ran through his mind involved something that would strip him of his badge. Someone like Melanie’s former husband would use his power to get what he wanted. Tanner couldn’t even imagine what she’d endured.
How could anyone treat Melanie, or any woman for that matter, without their due respect?
“I know she’s strong,” he stated. “She wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t. I’m a patient man.”
Jade took a step back and smiled. “I know you are, and you’re exactly what she needs. Maybe you two can heal each other.”
“That’s pretty deep for you, Jade.”
With a slight nod, a flash of a sad smile came and went. “Yeah, well, sometimes I can be sensitive, especially where my friends are concerned. Melanie is special. If you two knew the full backstory about each other, I think you’d understand each other so much more.”
Something curled low in his gut. Trepidation? Maybe. He wasn’t sure where he wanted the personal relationship to go with Mel. He knew he didn’t want her to worry, he knew he was attracted, and he knew he’d never leave her alone to deal with a pregnancy and raising a child. His
child.
“I need to get home.”
Jade scrunched her nose, drawing her brows in. “You look like hell. You feeling okay?”
Leave it to Jade to be brutally honest after seconds ago being so sweet and caring. “Just working my ass off. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t cure.”
That is if he could sleep. Lately he’d been experiencing more and more anxiety. He didn’t have time for that, and he sure as hell couldn’t have anybody picking his brain and telling him to calm down or stop worrying.
He worried about each case he took on undercover. He worried about the kids and the impact on their young lives, he worried about the women who thought they had no choice sometimes but to return to the abuse they’d endured for far too long.
Maybe all of that made him a soft cop, but he couldn’t change who he was. He’d been one of those young kids, he’d seen the damage hurtful words could cause. While he never witnessed his father raise a hand to his mother, he saw how day after day his mom had lost pieces of herself until she was a product of what his father wanted her to be.
“Hey. You alright?”
Tanner blinked Jade back into focus. “Yeah. I’m fine. I’ll see myself out.”
He shot her a slight grin when she continued to stare with those worried brows and frown.
“I’ll see ya.”
With a friendly kiss on her cheek, Tanner let himself out of the house. The cool fall night sent a chill through him as he made his way to his truck. Once he settled in behind the wheel, he glanced up to the second story of the old home and wondered which room Melanie used while she was here.
Then another thought hit him. Was she planning on staying in Haven? She’d never said one way or another. He knew she was here working on the legal side of the airport renovation, and with her blog site that she’d claimed was successful, she could work from anywhere, but had she decided to settle down in Haven?
Tanner thought of his simple one-story bungalow and couldn’t help but wonder if Melanie would want a place like that for their child.
Melanie had been married to a wealthy politician; no doubt she’d had a fancier home and lavish lifestyle. Tanner only had a cop’s salary. Not that he was poor. He didn’t really spend his money, so he had a hefty nest egg.
Still, what could he offer her long-term?
Raking a hand over his face, he started his engine. Not only were his emotions all over the place thinking where they’d be years from now, Tanner also had to consider the fact that she might not even want to be part of this town once her involvement in the airport was done.
As he drove home, he blinked against the burn in his eyes and vowed to make this all okay. He needed Melanie and the baby to feel secure and safe. Anything else would be failing on his part.