19
Now…
It took three days for me to realize maybe I needed to slow things down with Lorenzo, because he had me doing stuff I just didn’t do. I’d gone to that man’s house the second after we signed the divorce papers and basically handed my vagina to him on a silver platter with all the trimmings…repeatedly. I didn’t sleep with Robert for months after we started dating. Months. And it wasn’t like Zo and I were getting to know each other better by spending all this time together. For three days straight I’d only been three places: work, home to grab some clothes, and Zo’s house. And we’d basically done nothing but have sex—hot, steamy, intense, wonderful, incredible, and as Nicky would put it, nasty, sex. In between the sex, we talked about how good the sex was, which led to more sex. Or we’d eat something because we were famished from the sex. Or we’d take a shower to clean up after the sex and end up having sex in the shower. Or we’d sleep because we were exhausted from sex. But we didn’t have even one real conversation about anything else. Nothing else. Not my job or his writing or our respective families, but I knew his body like I knew the back of my hand—his tall, thick, solid, big-penised body. Zo was muscular, but not in a chiseled, everybody’s man crush Monday way. His body looked like he’d once worked out religiously but had stopped. He was still fit, still fine, but his muscles weren’t overly defined. See, I can’t even stay on topic. I was supposed to be talking about how we were moving too fast, but Lorenzo just had this weird effect on me.
I sat in my office and stared at the third bouquet of flowers he’d sent me in as many days. Wild flowers.
Wild.
That’s how I felt around him. Carefree, spontaneous, and wild, all words that would’ve never accurately described me before him. Oh, and sexy. Very, very sexy. No woman could be touched the way he touched me, or be told the things he told me during sex, or have his eyes drink them in like his did me and not feel sexy. A supermodel didn’t have shit on my size eighteen ass when I was in Lorenzo’s presence.
Of course I didn’t want to put any distance between us but felt like I needed to, especially since on the third night I spent with him, he mentioned us having dinner with his mother.
His mother.
I’d hated Robert’s mother, because she’d openly said she fully expected her son to marry someone much lighter skinned than me. And throughout our marriage, she doted on his brother, Ken’s, biracial (white and Chinese) wife and their tri-racial children. At one point, during the height of my fertility issues, she suggested we “borrow” some eggs from Ken’s wife, Amy, so she would be assured another pretty grandbaby. I remember wanting to scream at her that her son was the ugly one, and hell, if we were real about the situation, I was taking a chance on having an ugly baby. My lineage was full of gorgeous people. My parents, my sisters, and me. I’d been called a lot of things in my life, but ugly was not one of them.
Anyway, despite my misgivings about mothers-in-law, I was sure Lorenzo’s mother would not be the supreme bitch Alice Mattison was to have raised a man like him. My major concern was what a request like this meant about his frame of mind considering our fledgling, totally sexual relationship. Men don’t want you to meet their mothers unless they’re serious. Zo was obviously serious about me, a woman whose divorce was less than a week old. He didn’t even know my address or my middle name, and he was serious about me. And that scared me to death.
So I panicked. And for the next two days and two nights, I pretended to be swamped at work and too tired to see him. Well, work was hectic, but I definitely wasn’t too tired for him. I even missed him, but I really thought this was the best thing to do.
*****
Another day of my self-imposed exile from Lorenzo had passed when Janine’s voice sounded through the intercom in my office. “Renee, there’s a gentleman here to see you. He won’t tell me what it’s about, but he says it’s urgent.” She lowered her voice, and added, “It’s a big guy in a suit.”
“Send him in,” I said without hesitation, feeling a little anxious and excited at the same time. I wanted to see him, touch him, feel him, but I still felt we were moving too fast.
“Um, okay.” I could hear the curiosity practically oozing out of Janine, but I wasn’t ready to share Lorenzo with her. I didn’t even know what was going on with us. Could you really call what we had a relationship?
There was a light knock at my door, and then it eased open to reveal Lorenzo looking so fine I just leaned back in my chair behind my desk and stared at him. My yoni started pulsating and flooding as I took in the navy suit that had obviously been tailor made for his big beautiful body.
He closed the door behind him, and I looked up into his eyes. He looked…confused.
“Hey, Zo,” I said softly.
He was still standing by the door as he asked, “What’s going on with you?” I guess he wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries.
“You wanna have a seat?”
“No, Doc, I want you to answer my question.”
“What are you talking about?”
He reached up and placed his hand on the back of his head. “Look, I know I said I like playing games, but the games have to make sense. You came to me, said you wanted me, and then you backed away from me for no reason.”
“That’s not what I did. I told you things have been hectic and I’ve just been tired.”
“Yeah, well…I don’t believe that. Didn’t believe it when you first said it, and now, looking at you while you say it, I know it’s not true. So tell me the truth.”
He sounded upset. He was upset, and if I was him, I probably would’ve been, too. And I guess I forgot about how horrible a liar I was. So I sighed, dropped my eyes to my desk, and said, “I’m scared.”
My eyes rose in time to see him furrow his brow. “Of me, Doc?”
I shook my head. “Of making a mistake. I just got out of a horrible marriage, Zo.”
“I know, baby. But I’m not him.”
“I know that, but…I mean, all we do is have sex.”
“Shit, you see a problem with that? ‘Cause I don’t.”
“I don’t know you. We don’t talk.”
“So you thought the way to fix that was by pushing me away? Hell, I’m beginning to think that’s all you’re ever gonna do. Pull me in and then push me away. That shit doesn’t feel good, Renee.”
Now I felt like crying, because essentially, I’d been a cry baby all my life and an empath, and he sounded so sad. I could feel his sadness, plus, he called me Renee instead of Doc. “I’m-I’m sorry.”
“Remember, I asked you if you were sure I was what you wanted.”
“You are, but it feels like we’re moving really fast.”
“Maybe we are, but we aren’t kids, Doc. We’re adults who’ve already lived through a lot of shit and have earned the right to live how we want and be with who we want to be with when we want to be with them. We don’t have anyone to answer to, and I don’t see any point in dragging my feet with this thing after all the time it took for us to get here in the first place. Do you?”
“No…It’s just—you want me to meet your mother.”
He took the seat I’d offered him and leaned forward. “You’re worried about that? Don’t be. You’ve already met her, the same day you met me. And you impressed the hell out of her. She’s been talking about you nonstop ever since and was excited when I told her we were seeing each other.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yeah, so she asked me to plan a dinner for all of us.”
“Oh…”
“Doc, I like you. I like being with you. I like having sex with you, A LOT. And I know we don’t know each other well, but we can’t fix that by being apart.”
“I know. I guess I just panicked. I’m sorry, Zo. And I’ve missed you.”
He gave me a lopsided grin as he reached up and rubbed his goatee. “You missed me? You planning on doing something about that?”
“I don’t know. It depends. What do you want me to do about it?”
His grin widened as he reclined against the back of the chair situated across from my desk. “You letting me call the shots for once?”
With a wrinkled brow, I said, “You’ve been calling the shots all along. Don’t you know that? I put that distance between us, because otherwise, I can’t resist you.”
“You think I can resist you?”
“I hope not.”
He chuckled. “Then we’re in the same predicament, Doc.”
“I guess so.”
My office fell silent for a few moments as we just stared at each other. Things were moving fast, but there was an energy between us, a pull that I knew wouldn’t allow us to slow down.
“Zo, you didn’t really answer my question. What do you want me to do about the fact that I’ve missed you?”
His gaze intensified. “Nothing you’d be willing to do in this office.”
“Try me and see.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Come here.”
I did, standing between him and my desk.
“You should lock the door.”
I shook my head. “Like you once told me about Rell, no one is going to bother us. Everyone knows not to barge in here on me, and if they do…” I shrugged. “I don’t really care. I’m co-owner of this place and their boss.”
He stood in front of me, peering down at me with a look on his face that set my panties on fire. “Do you have any idea how much that shit you just said turns me on?”
“No. Show me.”
Without touching me with his hands, he captured my mouth, sliding his tongue inside to taste me. I tried to touch him, but he grabbed my wrists before I could. Then he backed away from me and let his eyes survey me from head to toe. “You know the rules. I do all the touching. You don’t move even a finger unless I tell you to.”
I nodded and tried to catch my breath. His eyes bore into mine as he placed one hand on my cheek, untied the drawstring on my violet scrub bottoms with the other, slid his hand into my panties, and began stroking my bud. I gasped, reached for him, but he shook his head.
“No touching, Doc.”
I closed my eyes, and as my legs began to tremble, reached back, and braced myself on the desk. “Zo…”
“Turn around, baby.”
I did as he said and gasped as he yanked my pants and underwear down over my butt. Stepping out of them, I spread my legs for him as I bent over my desk, nearly knocking over a framed photo of me and Cass.
“Cock your leg up on the desk.”
I followed his command, my knee bumping up against a stack of books. Then I closed my eyes and waited. I could hear him unzipping his pants, and the anticipation was driving me wild. But instead of feeling him enter me, the next sensation I felt was the heat of his mouth as he lavished my core with his tongue from behind, groaning as he groped my ass with his hands. I sucked in a breath and released a soft, low moan. I had almost reached the edge when he stood and slid his hand up my back, gently resting it on the back of my neck as he eased inside of me.
“Ahhhhhhhh!”
“Shh, Doc,” he said through his own moan, as he squeezed my butt cheek with his other hand and slowly glided out of me.
He kept up this relaxed pace for several minutes before increasing the tempo of his thrusts, driving into me mercilessly, causing the sound of his body slamming into mine to fill the room along with my moans and whimpers.
I slid my hand over my heavy desk, knocking papers and charts to the floor, groping for something to hold onto as the energy inside of me pooled to my core and threatened to ignite. Sucking in a deep breath, I’d opened my mouth to release a satisfied scream when Zo covered it with his huge hand, effectively muzzling me.
A few seconds later, he softly grunted and groaned before collapsing onto my back.
“Baby,” I murmured as he wrapped his arm around my waist, spun me around, and plunged a finger inside of me, “you trying to go for round two?” I was completely spent, but I wouldn’t have refused him.
“No, that nosy receptionist is probably out there right now about to knock on your door because of all the noise you made.”
As he finally slid his finger out of me, I said, “Was I that loud?”
“Yeah, you were screaming at one point.”
My mouth fell open. “No, I wasn’t! Was I?”
“Yeah, but maybe no one heard you. Maybe they were all busy or something.”
I frowned.
He zipped up his pants, leaned in, and kissed me. “See you tonight? Dinner, and we can finish what we started here?”
I nodded.
As he turned to open the door, I said, “Wait, I have my own bathroom if you want to wash your hands and freshen up.”
He smiled and lifted his hand to his nose, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. “No, baby. I’m good.”