Chapter 14

Grayson

We had to find florists. Was nothing going to fall to the bride to handle alone? I was sick and tired of having to deal with all this wedding planning shit. Surely, the best man’s duties weren’t to help plan every goddamn detail?

“It’s important to Abigail that I’m involved with it all because it’s not just her day, but it’s mine too,” Carter said to me when I mentioned it. “And you’re here with me because you’re my support. You’re my best man. I need you here to help me out.”

I snorted. “You have to learn how to deal with the woman if you’re going to insist on letting her wear the pants,” I said.

“Fuck you, Grayson,” Carter said, and I raised my eyebrows. It was out there for Carter to swear at me, and I didn’t think it was a joke.

We left to go to the florist. Abigail was already there looking at the flowers, touching them as if she could decide what she wanted through a connection or some shit. Carter walked to her and kissed her. She lit up when she saw him, and I had to admit, she looked like she cared about him. Pity, it would only be harder for her to get over it once I managed to stop the wedding from happening.

“Where’s Callie?” Carter asked. I wanted to know too. I hoped she wouldn’t be here.

“She’s on her way,” Abigail confirmed.

So much for that.

“No reason not to start looking,” Abigail said, taking Carter’s hand and leading him to the flowers she’d had in mind. I tagged along.

“I was thinking we could do lilies for the tables. It’s a little different but not too out there.”

I chuckled, and Abigail looked at me. “What?”

“It’s just a little cliché, don’t you think?”

Abigail blinked at me before carrying on like I hadn’t said anything.

“I want to do something a little simpler for outside where we’re doing the photos so it looks natural,” she said.

“Isn’t outside already natural?” I asked. “It’s nature.”

Abigail looked a little irritated. Carter was starting to look pissed off too. I was downright annoyed with all this bullshit.

“What do you think about this?” Abigail asked, pointing at something frilly and pink.

“God, more pink,” I said. I hadn’t meant to look for shit with that comment. It had been genuine. There was more pink than anything else in this wedding, and it was tacky as shit. Abigail shook her head, turning away from me. Callie arrived at the same time, and Abigail flew into her arms. Great, the support system had arrived. Now we were really going to get into it, and my whole day was going to get progressively more fucked up. I folded my arms and watched Carter watch Abigail, hating how he looked at her.

When the women headed out of the store to talk for a moment, Carter turned to me, and the look on his face was not friendly. He walked to me with an attitude that made me straighten up and brace myself. I didn’t know what was coming. Carter and I had never gotten into a full-on fist fight, but the way he approached me now made me wonder if he would go there if it came down to it. I could take him, of course.

But I didn’t want to. He was my friend.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Carter asked. He walked to me until we were toe to toe. It was a challenge. If I took it, it was going to come to blows.

“Come on, man. This is bullshit, and you know it. Flowers? Really?”

“I don’t need your shit. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life, and you’re fucking it up for me.”

“No, Carter. You already had the best day of your life. Remember?”

Carter’s face fell. “Is that what this is about? Fuck, I can’t look back at that forever. Yes, I was happy once. Yes, I didn’t think I would be doing all this again. But she died, Grayson. My wife died. What am I supposed to do, curl up and die too?”

The words sliced through me like knives. Carter was putting it into words, and it hurt like a bitch, so much more than I’d expected it to. Everything about this scenario was different than I had expected.

“Look, man,” I said. “I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“I get that,” Carter said. “I know my pain was yours too. But be happy for me. I love her. Can’t you see that? And I deserve to be happy again.”

“It’s too soon,” I said.

Carter shook his head. “That’s not for you to decide. That’s for me to know. I’m happy. I want this. And if you’re going to keep being such a dick about it, I’m going to get rid of you as my best man and find another one.”

“What?” I asked. I hadn’t expected Carter to go to this length. “You’re going to fire me?”

“You bet your ass I will. I’m not going to let you ruin this for me. I’ve been through enough hell, and I deserve happiness as much as the next guy. I don’t want to get someone else to do the job, but I will if it makes Abigail happy and helps me get what I deserve in life.”

I had no words. I didn’t know what to say to that.

He turned around and stormed away, and I felt like he’d punched me in the gut even though he hadn’t touched me. Carter had never been this forceful with me before. It meant he cared a hell of a lot more about Abigail than I’d thought. And it meant this was a lot worse than I had anticipated. He couldn’t be with her. He’d had someone he’d felt for like this. He couldn’t do it again. It wasn’t right.

I watched him walk to the women, smiling and pretending like everything was fine. He pulled Abigail to the side and hugged her, telling her something. I imagined him telling her that he’d taken care of me, that I wouldn’t be a problem anymore. He would be wrong.

This only made it that much more important that I did something about it. Abigail was nice, and I felt for her. It was sad that her heart was the one that would be broken. But I had to stop this from happening for Carter’s sake.

Callie looked at me. I couldn’t tell what her expression meant, and I didn’t care. She hadn’t bothered to find out what I was all about. So I distanced myself again. I looked at the world as a series of pictures that had nothing serious attached to it. It was the easiest way to get through everything that had happened.

Callie turned to Abigail, and they moved from one flower arrangement to the next. I watched her move. She carried herself with elegance and grace, and she looked amazing in capris and sandals, a blouse, and her hair up and back. Her skin was like porcelain, and her curves were delicious. I slid my eyes over her body and tried to imagine what it would feel like to touch her. My cock stirred in my pants, and I willed myself to stay in control. I tugged my shirt down and adjusted my belt so my hard dick was as hidden as I could get it under my clothes.

I wanted Callie. She’d scolded me like a child, and we didn’t agree on anything, but she was also headstrong and confident, and her body was to die for. No matter how much I hated how she’d treated me, her pros outweighed her cons, and I wanted to fuck her.

Again and again. As many times as I could. Maybe it wouldn’t help my mission to fuck up the wedding, but it would be a release. It would give me what I wanted, and that was plenty.

Callie looked up, catching me staring, and I averted my eyes. I was attracted to her, but I wasn’t going to be a creeper. I turned my back and looked at some shitty rose arrangement. I thought about what Carter had said to me about firing me as his best man. That would mean I would be uninvited from his wedding as well. I couldn’t imagine him not wanting me there.

I had been there the first time. I had stood by Carter’s side and watched him commit his life to the woman he loved, to the woman who would be his whole future. How could he not see that this was killing me to do it all again? With someone else? A woman I barely knew. I didn’t know if she was good enough for him. I knew next to nothing about her, and Carter deserved so much. More than I thought Abigail could give him.

Did I feel rotten about this? Yes. I wasn’t the type of person who wanted to hurt my best friend. But this was so much bigger than that.

“Are you coming?” Carter asked, walking to me.

“Where?” I asked.

“One more florist and then we’re going cake tasting.”

I didn’t groan the way I would have if Carter hadn’t put his foot down.

“I guess,” I said.

Carter clapped me on the back. “Drive with me. Callie and Abigail are going in one car. We get a bit of time every day to catch up, right?

I shrugged. He wasn’t wrong, but I would never be the same as before. When we left the store, pulling onto the road, I was quiet. I was sulking after being treated like a naughty child. Was everyone going to scold me?

“Look,” Carter said. “I’m sorry I got up in your face. I hate it when we fight. You’re my best man. My best friend. But this is important to me, and that should, by default, make it important to you too.”

I nodded. “I understand what you’re saying, but I can’t, Carter. How am I supposed to do this?”

“I know. It’s not easy. I’m putting on a face sometimes so Abigail doesn’t think I’m not in this, but it’s not easy. So I get it. But I love her.”

“You said that.”

“I’m saying it again. I love Abigail. She’s different, but if you only take some time to get to know her, you’ll realize she’s a great woman, that I can be as happy with her as I was before.”

I didn’t respond. I didn’t tell him that I didn’t think it was fair, that I felt like he was being a traitor by giving his heart to someone he barely knew. I kept it all inside because I’d started to realize that Carter was set on forgetting. He said he was moving on, but I knew what it really was. He was ignoring the past. And I couldn’t let that go. I couldn’t act like it was a good thing, and no matter how sweet Abigail was, she wouldn’t make the cut.

No one would.

The rest of the day was a fuck up. I had to pretend everything was fine, that I cared, that I enjoyed myself. I didn’t. I was upset, and it was hard work to put on a face they would buy. But I managed it, and Abigail and Carter went back to make googly eyes at each other while Callie pretended like nothing had gone wrong between us. We were one big fake group where everyone wore a mask that hid their true emotions, and everyone pretended it was a happy day when it was all lies.

Nothing was right, not until I could fix it.