Cole’s gut felt like it had been doing flip flops all night. He wasn’t entirely sure that was good for his health, but the mere thought of Mason made him squirm. When Mason first kissed him, he experienced a war within himself he was sure was going to tear him apart. The instant arousal he felt was debilitating, but was quickly stamped out by feelings of guilt and uncertainty. He’d had to convince himself he wasn’t doing anything wrong with Mason, but he somehow still wondered if he was betraying Penny. Was seeing someone else after two years long enough? Was there even a time limit for this kind of thing?

Cole needed to back off for a bit and retreat to the kitchen so he wouldn’t run and hide in his bedroom, which he recognized would have been a stupid thing to do. He’d managed to calm himself down enough to go back to the living room but when he did Mason started pushing him again. He’d called him out on his inability or hesitation to say Penny’s name. Cole found he didn’t mind that. It was like he’d been waiting for Loretta and Bill, or even Olivia, to do it, but because they had all been just as close to Penny, they hadn’t said anything.

Cole made his way upstairs as he thought about Mason and their kisses. His skin still felt hot whenever he thought about them. He stripped naked, something he didn’t do when Olivia was home, and he slid between the cool sheets. The coolness felt good, like it was soothing the ache he felt. He’d wanted Mason to touch him and continue to kiss him. The sheets felt great, until the fabric began to caress him in a way that was making him crazy. He turned onto his side, so his dick wasn’t in direct contact with the sheets, but that didn’t help either. He wondered if it would be wrong if he just…Cole reached down and grabbed himself, and his whole body jerked. He didn’t usually do this, but he didn’t think he was going to get any sleep tonight if he didn’t relieve some of the tension.

He looked at the table next to the bed and groaned. No tissues. Cole kicked off the sheets again, glaring at them because he needed something to blame for aggravating the situation. He stomped into his bathroom and flipped on the light, then switched it off because it was too bright. He found what he needed and returned to the bed, lay down on top of the covers, and palmed himself again.  

He usually forced himself to be quiet when he did this. Like it was disrespectful to Penny even though his mind had been blissfully void of anyone in particular since she passed away. He usually forced himself to think of nameless, faceless bodies to get the job done, but tonight there was no denying who was front and center in his mind’s eye. He recalled the feel of Mason’s lips, soft and full. They weren’t feminine, but possessive, and he imagined how they’d felt on his own lips, jaw and neck. He imagined how they would feel trailing down his chest and stomach, and Cole had to use the tissues when he pictured Mason’s dark head between his legs, as he bent over, and his mouth made contact with…

Cole jerked on the bed and almost howled, his release felt so good. Most of the time, his orgasms were just a biological response to the action of his palm. There was no feeling or emotion behind them except a mild tingling and sense of satisfaction. Cole twisted onto his side, panting and wanting that satisfaction again, but knowing something was still missing from how intense that orgasm had just been. He wondered how powerful it might be if Mason was actually in bed with him, giving him the orgasm he just experienced, and he whimpered into the pillow because the thought sent heat racing to his already over-sensitive dick and it was suddenly borderline painful. He shouldn’t have gone so long without sex or at least contact with someone.

It wouldn’t have been right with anyone else, but Cole felt, with Mason, that wasn’t the case. He lay on his side, breathing hard and fighting to keep his eyes open. He had a routine, but right now he was blissfully unaware of it as a blanket of drowsiness overcame him.  He didn’t remember falling asleep, or setting his phone alarm to go off to wake him up in the morning. He didn’t even remember where he put his phone, until the next morning when he woke up and realized it wasn’t on the nightstand.

* * *

Cole jumped out of bed and ran downstairs looking for it. His heart raced and terror made his throat close up. He always kept his phone with him when Olivia was away. Always. He looked at the screen. Loretta knew to text or call him every day just to check in. The text was there and with shaking fingers, he clicked on it and read it. The more he read, the more his heart calmed down and stopped racing. Olivia had a great night and she was happy playing on the beach with Bill. She went down for the night at her usual time and she was doing just fine. She couldn’t wait to see him tonight. Cole breathed a sigh of relief and sat on the couch. He looked around, the beige walls suddenly seemed foreign to him, like he’d become trapped in a spell last night and the feeling of home, happiness and friendship had kept him rooted in a state of sub-consciousness he hadn’t been familiar with for a very long time. He hated how plain the house was, he’d always liked color on the walls and the whole house was this one bland color. The only thing that gave it any sort of life or character, was Olivia’s pictures hanging sporadically on the walls throughout the house.

Cole rose from the couch and checked the time. He still had time to get ready for work and go open the shop so he went about his normal routine. Once he’d showered and dressed, he responded to Loretta’s text. It felt strange to walk around the house naked and to respond to his mother-in-law in the nude, despite the fact that she had no idea he was. Cole couldn’t help but blame Mason, after all he was the cause of all this confusion. He had pushed Cole’s comfort zones, but Cole discovered he didn’t really mind. He was grateful for it, because despite the single moment of blind terror when he woke, he’d gone about his morning routine feeling more refreshed and rejuvenated than he had in a long time.  

* * *

He whistled as he opened up the shop, something he’d almost forgotten how to do. Then he paused when he walked the stacks and ended up in the back, near the occult books. Mr. Savage certainly had placed a spell on him. He grinned at his own private joke and thought if Mason could have heard him maybe he would give him one of those stern looks usually reserved for wayward kids.  

He spent the morning helping customers and thinking about how he couldn’t wait to see Olivia. The afternoon crowd was dying down. He always closed at five on Sundays, because he just didn’t have the customers. People wanted to be home relaxing before the Monday madness and he was no different. Monday mornings were pretty slow too, with everyone being at work, but today he found himself up front sitting on his stool at the counter at four-thirty when the bell over the door rang. He looked up with a pleasant smile ready to greet whoever was entering, and there stood Mason in jeans and a white t-shirt. He was holding a pizza box in his hand.

“You said you wanted pizza last night, and we never got it. So, presto, pizza dough! I even delivered it for you too.”

Cole smirked then snorted and then burst into laughter. “You could have just come by the bookstore, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. But I bought books yesterday, so it seemed like I needed a reason to stop by. So, I thought about it a while and then came up with dinner as a good enough excuse.”

He wasn’t wrong. The pizza smelled amazing.  

“Come on behind the counter, I have plates and stuff in back.” Cole went and grabbed the plates, then set them out on the small table in his office next to the desk. He usually did the inventory lists at the table because he could spread them out better, but Mason set the box on the table. They sat across from one another and Mason opened the box.  

“This looks amazing!” Cole inhaled the scent of cheese and pepperoni wafting into the air.

“I went with the standard because it occurred to me I don’t know what your favorite is.”

“Pepperoni is perfect.” His real favorite was Hawaiian, but he figured that was irrelevant. He loved all kinds of pizza.

“Really?” Mason was giving him the stare down and he looked away feeling sheepish.

“Hawaiian is my favorite, but really, I love pepperoni too. Thank you for bringing dinner.”

He dug into the pizza and grabbed himself two slices. Mason chuckled and followed suit, and soon they were eating in silence, too busy devouring the slices to talk. He felt like Michelangelo on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, because he just couldn’t stop going back for more.

He smiled, thinking about Olivia. She’d be mad when she found out he’d had pizza without her. She loved the stuff. She also loved the Ninja Turtles, but “the purple one” had always been her favorite. Cole had tried to tolerate the princess cartoons, but some of them were so insipid it drove him mad, so he’d introduced her to the turtles and she’d fallen in love with Donatello. It made him proud that his baby recognized she could be smart and tough and still be loveable. He figured if there was anything Penny would turn over in the grave about, it would be introducing her to boy cartoons, so to make up for it, a couple of months ago he introduced her to an oldie but goodie, Scooby Doo. There was a mix of smarts and jokes and she’d taken an instant liking to Scooby and Shaggy, even though he pointed out how clever Thelma was. He didn’t understand the new cartoons kids watched. He wasn’t sure what an anime was and he figured this was something he could share a love of with her when it was TV time.  

Breaking into his thoughts, Mason asked, “What time do you have to go get Olivia?”  

“Ah, I’ll close up shop, then I want to stop at the hardware store and then I’ll go get her.”

“Something broken?”  

It was an innocent enough question, but Cole needed a moment to figure out how to answer it. “I hate the color of my walls.”

“Huh?”

“They’re so…plain. Beige. I don’t know what I was thinking…well, I do know what I was thinking, but I looked at them this morning and realized I can’t stand them.”

“Right. How did you come to this epiphany? For most people, it takes a month or two to convince themselves it’s a good idea to paint their house. And they usually only do one room at a time. Your whole house is beige.”

“I know. So, you can see my predicament,” he didn’t answer the question, but Mason laughed at his dilemma nonetheless.  

“What colors do you like?”

“Bright. I’ve always liked bright colors, like book covers. She…Penny,” he emphasized her name, trying it out for the first time. It still felt strange, but he supposed it was bound to. “Penny said beige was what was socially acceptable. The house we used to live in was beige too. That way, she could decorate it with any color combination she wanted. She was good at it, but I am not good with accessories. I like colors.”

Mason let him talk about Penny, and he didn’t seem put out by it. He nodded and then said, “That’s going to be a big job, painting the whole house. Do you maybe want some help?”

Cole paused, surprised again with how at ease Mason seemed to be. He’d never met someone so willing to be open and helpful. Most people would have shunned him; he found it refreshing.  

“That would be really…wow. That’s really nice of you. I know Olivia will want to help, especially with her own room, so I’ll let her pick the color in there.”

“Two is better than one and three is better than two, so the offer stands. I see Olivia every day at school. How do you think she would feel if I came over to help?”  

Cole had to think hard about that because he honestly had no idea. “I think she’d be OK.”

“Perfect, I even promise not to act like her teacher if you want.”  

Cole chuckled. It was in Mason’s nature to guide and teach kids. At least, he assumed it was since he’d been a successful teacher for so long. He didn’t think they would intentionally butt heads with Olivia if she needed guidance. He was her dad and he didn’t think Mason was trying to step on his toes.

“OK, I think that would be fun. She asked me the other day if I was going to make any new friends here.”

“When do you want to do it? I can even bring more pizza.”

“You don’t have to. You brought nachos last night and pizza today, what can I give you for it by the way?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on, I insist. That, and you’re going to help me paint.”

“I’m sure I’ll think of something.”  

The wolfish grin on Mason’s face made Cole hot under the collar. He tugged at his polo shirt and swallowed hard, wishing it wasn’t so tight. He felt himself sway towards Mason a little, and wished he had the courage to lean over and kiss him like Mason had done last night. Mason took charge, though, by leaning toward him and giving him what he wanted and Cole moaned into his lips.

“Did you think about me in bed last night? Was it good?”

Cole gasped. No one had ever talked to him like that before, except… He groaned and nodded once. He couldn’t bring himself to say what he’d done, but Mason knew as he dipped his tongue between his lips again. He sighed, feeling the strokes of Mason’s tongue against his own as he inhaled the scent of Mason’s aftershave. It was crisp, like apples, and he wondered what brand it was.  

When Mason broke off the kiss, Cole found it difficult to remain in the plastic bucket seat at the table. His khaki shorts were bunched in a way that was pinching his dick, which seemed to have a mind of its own lately because it was once again hard, jutting up and aiming for the sky like a freaking monument. Pride had never been a facet of Cole’s personality and he liked to think he was relatively modest, but there it was, bulging the fabric of his shorts for everyone to see. He cleared his throat and made a show of throwing out the paper plates, folding up the pizza box and trashing it. Mason sat back in his chair and watched him reminding Cole of a cat, ready to pounce.

Cole closed out the cash register and Mason followed him silently around the stacks, which unnerved him. He half expected to turn around and Mason would be on him, but maybe this was another of his methods to push Cole? He wasn’t sure but the more he felt his eyes on him, the more aroused he became.

“I’m ready!” He sort of bellowed the words at Mason as he shut the lights off in his office. Then he thought about what he’d just said and blushed, a reaction he just couldn’t control.  

Mason smirked and let his eyes wander over his body, not bothering to try to hide it, and Cole felt like he had just been x-rayed. It made him shiver and he wished Mason would give him one last kiss before they left, but he simply nodded. Cole flipped the sign on the door to closed and they walked out onto the sidewalk.  

“The hardware store is only a couple of blocks, but you can ride with me if you want. That way if I see any colors I want, I don’t have to lug the buckets back here.”

“That’s alright. I drove my car into town, but I’ll follow you over there and have a look at the color choices with you. Maybe I can even make you second guess yourself with every choice. It’s fun making you blush,” and with that, Mason turned and walked down the sidewalk a ways until he climbed into an eco-friendly car.  

It took Cole a minute to snap out of his shock and get into his own car and then he drove, absentmindedly, to the hardware store, wondering and anticipating all the ways Mason might make him second guess himself. He hadn’t been flirted with in a very long time and had almost forgotten what it felt like. He found he was quite enjoying it.

He pulled into Augie’s Hardware and parked. The shop wasn’t closing for another hour, and he waited beside his car until Mason pulled in. When he got out of the car, Cole cleared his throat.

“Now, Mr. Savage, are you going to behave in the store or will I have to…” He couldn’t finish the sentence. He was grinning so wide his cheeks hurt.

“You’ll do what?” The heat in Mason’s eyes was evident, but Cole looked around the parking lot to see if they were being watched.  

“I’m sure I’ll think of something,” he teased. He figured he might as well try his own hand at flirting, and he found he enjoyed dishing it right back to Mason.  

They went into the store together and met Augie Friedman, an older man with a bald head. His trousers were covered in paint stains and his belt clacked as he walked to the paint center. He was carrying various tools and his utility belt must have weighed ten pounds.

“Now, we have some nice neutral tones here. These are my best sellers for men,” Augie was selling to him. “There’s beige, brown, a light bronze,” Cole nodded politely and hip bumped Mason as they walked down the aisle behind him. They were the only ones in the store and Mason was giving Cole a mocking look with every neutral tone Augie listed. He was wondering what the reaction of the man was going to be when he told him he wanted bright, vivid colors.  

When they got to the paint center, Augie held out paint swatches of the colors he had listed, and Cole shook his head. “No thank you. My house is already beige. I want color. Tons of color.”

As he expected, Augie’s white eyebrows, the only hair on his head, raised so they looked like two white caterpillars creeping across his bald, shiny pate.  

“Are you sure about that, son?”

“Positive. Is it OK to browse the swatch boards?”

“Well sure, it’s just unusual to have a request like that.”

“Oh I know. I’ll be back later this week to help my daughter pick out the color for her room too.”

“I see, and what does the missus think about all this? She out of town or something? You’re gonna be in the doghouse when she gets home.”

Cole saw the swatches in front of him blend together and he suddenly wasn’t sure this was a very good idea. “Umm…”

“Mr. Freidman…”

“Ah, you’re that teacher up at the elementary school, right? The one the town was talking about back when you first started? Some folks said it was downright strange for a man to be teaching the little kids.”

Cole felt a burn of anger light up his chest. There was nothing wrong with Mason wanting to teach kids, whether they were elementary or older kids.

“Come on Mason. I’ll go to the hardware store in the city.”

Augie looked confused then he looked between them. “You two aren’t…you know…”

“What we aren’t is any of your business Augie Freidman.” Mason looked like he was ready to hex Augie on the spot.

Cole knew small towns came with some small-minded views sometimes, but they both had the odds stacked against them because of the unusual way they lived their lives.

“Come on Mason, let’s just go.”  

Cole turned and walked back down the aisle. It seemed to be closing in around him as he made his way to the door but he didn’t turn back around to see if Augie was angry or puzzled by their behavior, he didn’t want to. When they burst through the door, he took great gulping breaths of air as he felt the panic that was threatening to send him into an attack rise in his chest. His ears were ringing and he felt like there were black spots in front of his eyes. It was annoying and he kept blinking rapidly, trying to clear his vision.

“Take a deep breath. Calm down, Cole.” Mason’s voice was somewhere near his ear.  

“He…”

“I know.”

“And we…”

“I know. Just breathe. Forget about him.”

“But you…”

“I’m still just me, Cole. Just because he has a closed minded view about it doesn’t change who I am. His opinion doesn’t matter to me.”

“But what happens if he says something and it gets around town and…”

“Cole, I want you to get in your car, calm down, drive home, and then I’ll take you to pick up Olivia.”

“I can go get Olivia.”

“You’re too upset to be driving that distance right now. Make it home and I’ll follow you, OK?”

Cole nodded, unlocking his car door with shaking hands. He drove extra carefully on the way home, and when he got there, he waited for Mason to pull up behind him. He wasn’t sure how long he waited, but Mason ended up coming around the house from the back. He walked up to Cole’s window.

“OK, go around to the passenger seat.”

“Really, I’m OK.”

“Has no one ever told you it’s alright not to be OK?”

Cole got out of the car and stared at him. He’d never once thought of it like that.