Mason felt the exact moment Cole’s resolve crumbled. The man became a puddle of limbs, and he swayed forward so Mason had to wrap his arms around him. It was a bit awkward, but so right. He’d turned his own body towards Cole and enfolded him in his arms as he slanted his mouth across Cole’s. He felt Cole shudder under him, and heat raced through him knowing he was the first person Cole had been intimate with in a very long time.  

Mason probed at Cole’s lips with his tongue, urging him to let him in. When he did, he tasted like beer, nachos, and need. Mason could just sense it, but he didn’t want to scare him off. He raised one arm that had been wrapped around Cole’s waist and let his fingers trail up the back of his neck as he continued kissing him. He broke off the kiss to let his tongue and lips dance along Cole’s jawline. Cole’s moans were like music, a slow and steady rhythm that would have only been made better if they were outside, naked under the stars, not trapped in the confines of the tiny living room with layers of restrictive clothing between them. Cole had been surprisingly open to all the things he’d divulged; he wasn’t about to push his luck by asking him to go outside to continue this.

Mason didn’t push any further than nuzzling at Cole’s neck. His fingers ached to reach under his t-shirt, and the Gods only knew he was dying to free himself from his jeans. The tightness below his waist was aggravating and no matter how he shifted his weight, there was no reprieve. Mason broke off the kiss, figuring it was time to give Cole a chance to process and react, as much as he was dying to continue kissing him for the rest of the night. He eased himself back, but Cole didn’t seem ready to sit back away from him, and Mason found he didn’t mind holding him for comfort. Cole’s head slumped so his forehead and face were pressed into Mason’s neck, and Mason did the only thing he could think of, he gently swayed back and forth, rocking him, while Cole regained control of his breathing. One glance was all it took for Mason to know Cole was having the same issue below the belt, but there was no way he was pushing that envelope. Too far, too soon. He needed to be the level head for them both right now.

After a while and the slightly annoying announcement that the game was over, Mason glanced down at Cole. He leaned back a little and saw his eyes were open. He reminded him of one of the deer he frequently saw in the woods. His eyes were wide, innocent almost, like he was unsure of the world, himself and his place in it, and he was ready to bound away at a moment’s notice if something frightened him.  

“Are you OK?” Mason asked the question softly, but it was enough to jar Cole from whatever faraway place he was lost in. He was sure Cole was engaged in some internal battle over the feelings he was having because of the kiss. Mason would be foolish to think he wasn’t trying to cope with what this meant because of his deceased wife and even Olivia. Mason had no intention of pushing things further, all Cole had to do was tell him if he wasn’t OK, but Cole surprised him when he nodded his head, yes.

“Just kind of shocked at myself,” he whispered into Mason’s neck.

Mason’s back was beginning to ache sitting in this position, but he really didn’t want to move. “What do you mean?”  

Cole sat up and back. Mason found his arms ached, but not with the relief he’d expected, instead it was the way he wanted to reach out and draw Cole back into his embrace.

“Umm, I was never the one to…you see, I’ve been with…there were other…”  He was stuck on what he was trying to say. Mason could take a stab at guessing, but he thought it might be better for Cole if he got it out himself, so he remained silent. It came out in a rush of words that took Mason a minute to comprehend.

“My wife and I used to invite home men because I was bi and she didn’t mind so we spiced things up.” The blush on Cole’s cheeks almost matched the burgundy shirt he’d been wearing yesterday.

“OK.”

“OK?” Cole looked confused, like he was trying to figure out why Mason wasn’t running for the front door.

“Yeah, OK. Of all the things we’ve been sharing with one another, that’s the one that doesn’t surprise me much.”

“It doesn’t? You aren’t freaked out?”

“Umm, who just kissed whom?”  

Cole thought about that for a moment and Mason grinned, waiting for him to catch up. When the light bulb lit up, heat flooded Cole’s eyes and took his breath away. The shy, timid demeanor was sexy as hell, but this was something different and it set his teeth on edge in all the good ways possible. And it made him want to lift his hips and rip off his jeans so the throb between his legs would have some relief.

Cole looked like he was ready to launch himself at Mason, but Mason saw the warning sign before Cole did. They needed to progress this slowly. Like, snail’s pace slowly. Especially since it was almost certainly going to raise a lot of emotions Cole, and himself, probably never expected to have.  

“We could…” Cole started but Mason was already shaking his head. “Why?” Cole whispered. He was tense, ready to either pounce on Mason or run.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Mason started. “But we just met and there are other things to consider before we jump into this together. I think it will be all the better if we don’t just jump in because of lust and instant attraction.” Cole looked hurt but Mason kept his mouth shut, waiting to see if he would work past the rejection to see he wasn’t really rejecting him at all, but simply asking him to set a pace.

After a few moments Cole nodded, frowned, then stood up. Mason wondered if he was being dismissed, or if this was a sign that he should leave, but Cole took the empty beer bottles into the kitchen and Mason let him go. He sat on the couch staring at the glowing screen, not really hearing or seeing what was playing. He was about to get up and leave when Cole walked back into the living room and sat down next to him.

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s cool because neither do I.” Mason looked over at him and Cole seemed surprised.

“Have you ever, um, been with…”  

Mason was beginning to realize that whenever Cole was either uncomfortable or unsure of something, his sentences trailed off. Or he avoided saying whatever it was altogether. Like his wife’s name. He’d seen some of his students do it before and he knew it was a personality trait he could work with. He waited a moment before answering, giving Cole a chance to finish his sentence. He usually tried to correct it with his students and instill confidence in them, but Cole might just be set in his ways and he didn’t want to change him. He found he liked Cole, quirks and all.

“Yes, I have.”

“And you don’t have…you don’t have a friend, or someone in your life?”

“I told you in the kitchen there is no one.”

“Right, sorry. I assumed you meant a girlfriend or wife because we were talking about having kids.”

“Yeah, I know what you assumed.” Mason grinned and leaned over to nudge him with his shoulder.  

Cole smiled and then thought about it for a moment, and returned the grin. “This day and age, I shouldn’t assume stuff like that.”

“It’s alright. I get it a lot. I think humans have been hardwired for so long to think the only people that should or could have kids are heterosexual couples.”

Cole nodded and turned his attention back to the TV. Mason thought this might be the closest thing to an open, honest conversation he’d had with an adult since his wife passed away. He was sure he’d interacted with people before, but Cole was the kind of man that always had a reserved nature about him. If it was Olivia’s grandparents, there would always be the taboo subject of Penny that kept them all from being open with one another. Mason thought maybe that was the way things went with a lot of adults. He thought about his students and how he encouraged them to be open, curious, and ask questions. Then he thought about the process they went through and how adulthood then taught them to be reserved and mind their own business. It was a vicious cycle.

“You don’t say Penny’s name.” He figured it was now or never to push Cole a little bit. He jumped and flinched at the sound of her name.

“What?”

“Penny. You don’t say Penny’s name when you talk about her.”

“Yeah I do.”

Mason just raised an eyebrow and cracked the beer Cole had brought back with him. He knew he wasn’t playing fair, but he was also taking into consideration that his gentle pushing had been taken fairly well so far, so why stop now?

“OK, well, maybe I don’t.  But why is that a big deal?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.” He took a swig from the beer and watched Cole who looked confused again. The man had no clue his emotions were written on his face as plain as day.

“Because it doesn’t seem fair that I get to be here, with Olivia, and she doesn’t.”  

Mason wasn’t expecting that answer. He was expecting him to say it hurt too much to talk about her, that he didn’t want to upset Olivia, but this answer told him Cole had an empathetic side that probably very few people got to witness.  

“I know very little about Penny, only what Olivia has talked about in school and what you’ve told me tonight, but I wonder if she was the kind of person who would really want you to keep punishing yourself for that?” Mason softened his voice, wanting Cole to know he felt for him. It wasn’t always easy being a man and talking about your feelings. Men weren’t usually wired that way and Mason had only just come to a point in his own life where he accepted who he was as a person, witch, homosexual, and all the other things that made him who he was. Once he’d figured that out, he was more comfortable in his own skin and he was more ready, willing, and able to discuss how he felt about it. He hurt for Cole as he watched him battle with his own reactions and feelings, because Cole clearly wasn’t comfortable with himself yet.

He jerked his head a moment later. “No, she wouldn’t have wanted that.” Mason could tell he’d pushed far enough, but he thought maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. Cole had begun opening up to him and he wanted that to continue.

“Your team won,” he gestured to the TV with his beer bottle.

“Yeah, not surprising,” Cole grinned and took a sip from his own beer.  

“Well, since the game is over, I better head out,” Mason stood and Cole looked up in surprise.

“You can stay if you want. I have DVR and we could watch the race or something.”

“That’s nice of you, but racing isn’t really my thing. Witch, remember? All those fumes being dumped into the air isn’t really my bag, man.” He shrugged and turned to the kitchen. Cole rose and followed after him and it took all Mason’s willpower not to turn around, drag him back into his arms and kiss him again. He knew then he wouldn’t deny him and he would end up staying.

“Sorry about that.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Mason turned around and saw Cole rubbing the back of his neck. He wished he could help him out and explain to him about chakras and healing energy, but he thought that might be information overload for Cole. That, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he got his hands on Cole, he’d be able to stop from going further.  

“How about we do this again soon?” He wanted Cole to know that despite the enormous effort it was taking him to restrain himself and not seduce him into bed right then and there, he was still definitely interested in pursuing him further.

“Alright,” Mason stood again and made his way to the front door. “Hang on, your nacho tray,” Cole stopped off in the kitchen and grabbed it. When he came back, the tray was clean. He must have washed it off when he needed his space earlier.

“Thanks,” Mason took the tray and turned to the door.  

“Hey, are you OK to drive?” Mason felt Cole’s hand on his arm.

He turned back around. “I told you, I walked through the woods.”

“Right.” Cole looked at his socks and Mason smiled. He got it. He let the tray prop against the door jamb and tilted Cole’s chin up again. He leaned in and brushed his lips across Cole’s, just enough to get his attention and reassure him he really was interested in seeing him again.

“Good night, Cole.”

“Night.”  

It took an enormous amount of willpower to turn around, pick up the tray and walk out the door. He wasn’t sure he was going to be able to continue with that level of willpower the next day, because he was already trying to formulate a reason to have to go back to the bookshop and see Cole.