CHAPTER 28 - DREAM

Being back at work was just the break I needed from Chance. Not only had it kept me too busy to dwell on the situation, but it gave me a purpose I hadn’t even realize I needed.

Not that serving coffee was my life’s goal or anything, but to know at the end of the day, my tips were hard earned, made me feel a much-needed sense of pride and self-worth.

When you’d lived with someone telling you how useless you were for the past several years, you tended to numb out to everything else even if you didn’t believe the insults.

I finally felt free and independent in a way that meant not looking over my shoulder or wondering when the next shoe would fall and Nick would show up to drag me back.

A sinking feeling of guilt hit my gut when I thought of Nick. I’d never know if Austin was telling the truth, or if he’d just done Chance and me a favor by taking the bastard out.

I knew Nick had probably tried to get away. It was in his nature to be a fighter, but then another part of me knew I might be just trying to convince myself.

“You’re going to make me look bad if you don’t slow down,” Liza said over my shoulder as I refilled another cup of coffee.

“I guess I’m just glad to be back and doing something other than staring at those cabin walls.” I followed her across the room where she looked toward the front window.

“Yeah, well, don’t look now, but someone else seems to be tired of those walls too.” The chimes on the door sounded, and I looked up to see Chance taking a seat in my section.

My heart skipped several beats as I froze, and I diverted my eyes so they wouldn’t meet his. “Shit. Could you take my table?”

Liza shook her head. “No way! I’m swamped as it is, and you need to tell him and now is as good a time as any. He didn’t come in here to see me, and you know it.”

I bit back the bile that had risen to the back of my throat and walked over to say hi. “Can I get you something?”

He let loose a breath and gave me a shrug. “I just came to see you, really, but sure. I’ll take a cup of coffee and a slice of pie. Apple.”

I put away my pad and made a mental note instead. “Coming up.” I spun on my toes and headed to the kitchen to pour his cup and take a fresh pie from the cooling rack. Once the slice was on the plate, I brought it to his table and turned to leave.

He reached for my arm, and his hand closed softly around it. “Hey, wait. I said I wanted to talk, Dream. I know you’re avoiding me and I can’t say I blame you.”

I tugged away. “Right. I’m glad you understand. So you’ll be fine with me staying at Liza’s for a while? I was going to call you on my break, but I never got one. We’ve been really busy.”

His eyes widened, and I turned to look across the room to keep from having to look at him.

“Why? I told you that you could stay as long as you like.” He pulled his lips into a tight line as his jaw cracked.

“Excuse me?” He’d chewed my ass out, and now he wanted to know why I didn’t want to stick around for more. “Seriously?”

“I’m sorry about how I acted. I should never have gone off on you. I hoped you’d come home tonight. I want to talk about what happened and explain why I flipped out. You know it’s not like me.”

“No, I don’t know you. Not really.” My shoulders slumped as I relaxed.

“You were moving on anyway.”

What the hell did he mean? I wanted to stay with him. I did love him, but he had this all wrong. God help me.

“Getting a job isn’t moving on. It’s taking responsibility for myself and life and trying to support myself. I don’t see what’s so hard to understand about that.”

“I don’t care that you’ve gotten a job, Dream.”

“I know you don’t like it. You made that clear.” We practically talked over one another and were getting nowhere fast.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just the fact that we’d already talked about it and then you change your mind.”

“I’m not entitled to change my mind about things?” I didn’t realize how loud I’d gotten until the other customers around his table stopped talking and a silence fell across the diner like a wave.

He glanced around, and I could tell by the way he tucked his chin that he didn’t like the attention. “Come on home tonight, and we’ll have a nice dinner and talk things over.”

“It’s too late for all of that. I’m not sure when it all changed because it happened so fast, but we obviously want two different things.”

“I want you.” He blurted the words, but they weren’t sincere. It was like he was trying to convince himself. I needed him to know it.

“You have an awful way of showing it. Besides, I need more, Chance.” I turned and walked to the back as the tears broke from my eyes and trailed down my cheeks. I wiped them on my apron and stood there against the wall for what seemed like minutes, and when I peeked around the corner, he was gone.

I couldn’t live with a man who didn’t want to do anything but fight all the time, and I wasn’t going to put myself in that position ever again, no matter how I felt about him. Going back to Liza’s was only going to be temporary, and once I had a few tips under my belt, I’d go home and see what was left of my life. With any hope, Nick hadn’t done too much damage to my reputation, and perhaps I’d find another teaching job, but if I couldn’t there, I’d move to another place and put down roots; a place where no one knew me.

The thought of moving on without Chance and Star had my stomach in knots, which only reminded me of something else I still had left to do.

Before work, I’d stopped into the twenty-four-hour pharmacy and purchased a pregnancy test. I was about to take it when I got to work, but I had had a chance. I’d take the test before leaving to make sure I was going alone, and if not, I’d break the news to Chance and see how he wanted to handle it. If he couldn’t be a father to the child, I’d make sure we’d stay out of his life.

The door swung open on the other side of the room as Liza charged through it. “What the heck just happened?”

“He wanted me to come home and talk. I told him it was too late for that.”

“And then you came in here and cried all over the pancakes? Look, Dream, I know it’s tough when you’re fighting, but that man came all the way down here to make it right and then you sent him away? Are you out of your mind, girl?”

“It’s not going to be any different. You should have heard him. He was so cold, and anytime I try to talk to him, he makes it like it’s my fault; that I’m pulling away when he’s the one who is pushing.”

“Yeah, and if you don’t sit down and try to talk without fighting, you’re going to look back on this day and regret it. He’s in love with you, Dream. And I’m pretty sure those tears aren’t because you hate the man.”

“I love him, sure, but I’m not sure you’re right about him loving me. Star tried to get him to admit it, and you should have seen the backpedaling he did. It was like we were two kids on a playground and he thought I had cooties or something. He couldn’t even tell her he liked me. Liked, not loved.”

“He probably didn’t want to confuse the girl. That’s not the same, and you know it. She put him on the spot and you know he’s protecting his feelings and hers as well.

I sighed. “I don’t know. I guess you’re probably right.” “Do you want to always wonder, or do you want to know? Because there is only one way you’re going to find out for sure and that’s to go to him tonight.”

“He said he wants to have dinner. I guess I could. I bet Star’s staying with Cynthia so we could be alone.” It made sense that she’d take the girl for the night and it sure made going to him all the more tempting. He’d been one of the only men to give me what I wanted in the bedroom and just thinking about the two of us making love; I knew I never wanted anyone else.

“Of course, so you can be alone.” She gave me a sideward glance. “So when you makeup, you can really make up.” She waggled her brows. “You know he’s going to all the trouble to find another sitter and plan an evening. The least you could do is show. Let him give you a little attention.”

She leaned in closer. “Take the test and go to him. You can talk about things and depending on the results you can end it for good or start choosing baby names. At least you’ll be on the same page, and you won’t have any doubts. But I think you’re wrong. I think he loves you too.”

My stomach tightened in another knot, and I felt myself growing queasy. “What if I am?” I closed my eyes as panic pulsed through my veins making me dizzy.

“Then no matter what, you’ll have a beautiful baby to raise with or without him. I tell you, in the beginning with Brady, I was so sure he was the biggest mistake of my life, but I don’t know what I would do without the little guy. He’s everything to me, and I can’t picture life without him. He’s not the biggest mistake; he’s the greatest joy. That’s how it will be for you too. You deserve happiness, Dream. You want Chance, go get him. Be that happy couple you know you want to be. He wants it too; you just might have to prove it to him.”

“Fine, I’ll call him and tell him I’m coming.”

“Not this minute you won’t,” said Mack. “There are four orders ready, and you girls are getting behind. If Harold comes in and sees you two hens cackling instead of working, we’re all going to have a miserable afternoon.”

“You know that hearing aid is going to get you into a lot of trouble one day, Mack.”