Chapter Five
Selena
My thoughts were a whirlwind. Last night had been the best night of my life. I’d never felt like I had in the dressing room, never felt the way that Brandon had made me feel. Shit, I was already thinking about him as Brandon. God, maybe I was even thinking about him as mine. That was nuts. I couldn’t afford that. I should have said “no” after he was done, broken it off, but I’d never felt that happy before, that free. After the way Kevin had destroyed my self-esteem, shredded anything that could be left of my self-image, someone wanted me.
Someone amazing and rugged and sexy wanted me.
Someone who was also my best friend’s father starred in my nightly fantasy and had gotten me off with a flick of his wrists.
I was so totally fucked.
But at least part of that was in a good way.
Sighing, I slipped out of bed and shimmied into my favorite dark pencil skirt and a violet silk top. I was hoping it was early enough that Tammy wouldn’t be up yet. Maybe I’d be lucky and be able to sneak out before she even noticed me. I’d grab a bagel, ease out, and Tammy would be none the wiser. Honestly, the thought of trying to face her after what I’d done with Brandon just last night made me blush. And tongue-tied. Not to mention I was convinced that I couldn’t lie to her if my life depended on it.
At least when everything was so new and fresh, the best idea would be to stay away from things. If I could.
Unfortunately, fate was not on my side.
In fact, it was being more playful than usual because when I slipped into the kitchen, my roommate was sitting at the table already dressed and her mother, Melanie Stewart, who had tried but failed to get me to call her “Mel” in the past, was flipping pancakes over the stove.
“Hey,” I said, and I hoped that my voice wasn’t cracking; that I wasn’t as obvious as I felt.
“You’re up early,” Tammy said.
“I wanted to get an early start on some layouts.” I blinked between her and Melanie. “What about you guys? Do you and Mrs. Stewart have plans?”
“I swear, Selena, you can call me Mel,” her mom said again for about the billionth time.
I sighed. “I’m sorry. You can take the girl out of West Virginia, but you can’t take the West Virginia out of the girl. I feel like it’s hard enough to stop saying ‘ma’am’ or ‘sir’ up here in NYC. I can’t just call my mom’s friend ‘Mel.’ It’d be too weird.”
Melanie shrugged and straightened her perfectly coiffed golden ponytail behind her shoulders. “Well, whenever you want to, I’m cool with it. I want to be that fun mom.”
Tammy giggled. “You are. Fun moms take you for Sak’s shopping sprees.”
“Ooh, that explains it,” I said.
“What?” Tammy asked, crossing her arms over her chest, acting mock offended. “I could be up before seven a.m.”
“Not if a sale or a threat at gun point isn’t involved.”
“That’s completely not true. Mom, tell her she’s wrong,” Tammy replied.
Mrs. Stewart chuckled. “I am going to take the fifth on that one. I had to bribe you with pancakes to get you to consent to be up early this morning.”
“I thought you wanted to be the fun mom?” Tammy pointed out.
Mrs. Stewart sighed. Then she turned off the burner and moved the pancakes all to a stack on one plate. “I feel like even if I did every irresponsible thing I could think of, from dragging you to every concert, theme park, and fashion show on three continents, then I’d still be the more boring parent next to your dad.”
I was glad I hadn’t drunk any of the juice laid out on the table yet. If I’d been sipping anything, I would have coughed it back out once Brandon was mentioned. Oh shit. It wasn’t like anyone knew what was going on, except possibly his secretary, Gina. Nothing was yet, exactly. We’d had an intimate moment and a fun time at the fashion show. After the dressing room, we hadn’t had sex or even done anything afterward. For all I knew, he’d be willing to throw me back to the sharks. I liked the way he made me feel, but I knew all about Brandon Duncan’s reputation. Who didn’t? I knew I was likely to end up as discarded as Tammy’s mom.
Another reason I should have said no last night. Another reason to cut and run.
“You’re not boring,” I said, finally finding my voice. “You’re great.”
Tammy nodded. “Like when you let me borrow your black Am Ex today? Totally gonna be a blast.”
Her mom nodded and set the plate before us. I grabbed a few pancakes; I might as well eat something before the work day started. My stomach was already gnawing at itself; running around as an intern took a lot of energy.
Besides, a traitorous voice in the back of my head said. If Brandon wants anything else today, then you’ll need all the strength you can get.
I shook my head and tried to make sure I didn’t let any more of those thoughts bubble to the surface. The last thing I wanted was to let my secret come out.
“Besides,” I offered, trying to cut my pieces up as fast as possible. “You’re great to be around.”
“I guess, girls, I’m just being paranoid. I heard that your father has a new girlfriend. One of the people who went to the Swagger part for Vera Wang said he had some girl half his age on his arm.”
“Which,” Tammy said, her tone clipped, “is why you married Bert in the first place. Dad’s just gonna be Dad. I love you both. It’s just he’s going to try and pretend he’s not fifty for about the rest of his life.”
Her mom snorted. “I can see Brandon now with a walker at the old folks’ home telling some young nurse he’s only thirty. That’s so true.”
I forced myself to giggle and then added, “See? Not a big deal. Don’t worry about anything, Mrs. Stewart. I’m sure that it’s all just rumors again.”
She shrugged. “I shouldn’t let it bother me, but I resent how he works through those girls like tissue paper. The thought of him one day dating someone literally Tammy’s age, or younger, makes me want to throw things.”
Well, at least I’m older than Tammy by a few months.
Sighing, I set my plate aside and made a huge show of checking my cell phone. “Well, I have to get going. Like I said, always a layout to do or coffee to fetch.”
Tammy frowned at me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I dunno. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but you seem jittery this morning.”
“Trust me, I’m good.”
“Then that’s a great thing to hear,” Tammy said, although her tone implied she didn’t really believe me. Trying to force an unconvincing smile, she added, “Mark your calendar. Mom and I just settled on doing my big twenty-first bash in a couple months at her and Bert’s penthouse.”
“I wouldn’t have any plans exciting enough to miss,” I replied.
“Still, I want you to get it on your calendar early. If I don’t remind you, you’re likely to work right through it.”
I shrugged. “Heh, you got me.” With that, I hurried out the door.
***
By the time I got to my desk, my nerves were rubbed raw. First, I figured I’d been just about the worst liar out there in front of Tammy and her mother. Then, my mom had called, begging me for money I didn’t have. I didn’t even get my first paycheck from my internship for another ten days. I wasn’t surprised. Mom had been a great mother once, but back when I was still in high school, she’d gotten mixed up with opiates and the same bullshit that was choking most of West Virginia to death. Her addiction was the main reason I knew I had to stand on my own, and the reason going back to West Virginia would be the last thing I’d ever do. I didn’t care if I literally had to live on the streets, I’d never go back to Beckley; never sit around and watch her destroy herself like that.
And even if I had money, I sure as hell wasn’t giving her a damn dime to continue destroying herself with. Not anymore.
Forcing myself to smile, to be the bubbly go-getter my supervisor, Becky, expected me to be, I nodded toward her. “So, what do you have on tap for me today?”
She adjusted her glasses on her nose and checked the pile of papers in front of her. “Your article from last night was a good start. I have that in editing, and a senior staffer will polish it for you.”
“That’s great.”
“Yes, but I need you to go down to the research room. I have an interview coming up with an up-and-coming designer, and I need all the bits about her from social media and print media you can find. I want the best dirt so I can dig in deep.”
I offered a tight smile; a bit crestfallen that I hadn’t been asked to do another feature piece or big-time story. I knew that the Vera Wang show article only happened because Brandon had pulled strings. Still, I felt like my work spoke for itself, and I was always ready to pounce on anything that would help me get my writing out there; to get eyes reading over my byline.
It didn’t take long to get lost at the desk in the tiny, windowless room. Within minutes, I was lost down the timeless rabbit hole of trying to figure out all the details behind the latest fashion flavor of the month. So far, I was learning she had a fiery temper and the tendency to get into feuds with everyone from her own fans to Kanye West on Twitter. At least she might make for an intense interview for Becky.
A knock sounded on the door behind me, and I didn’t even think before shouting, “Come on in.” I just assumed it was Becky checking on me.
It wasn’t.
Brandon stood there, looking delicious in his pin-striped charcoal gray suit and bold crimson tie. “I’m not interrupting, am I?”
I jerked in my seat, my damn clit already throbbing at the things his voice did to me. That voice, like velvet, made me want to do things to him in return. “I’m working.”
“You’ve been working all day, Tiger. You must have lost track of time; it’s almost six p.m., and most of the building has cleared out.”
I cursed under my breath when a cursory check of the computer’s bottom right screen confirmed what he’d said. “Shit, I only emailed Becky the first half of this at lunch.”
“I’m sure, with how thorough you are, she had enough research to make a good start.” He smiled, a look that could probably make women’s panties melt, and then he locked the door behind him. “Now, we’re alone together in a room no one can see in. I think that calls for a bit of a celebration, don’t you?”
I bit my lower lip and sighed. “I’m not sure.”