CHAPTER 4
Diana
The next morning
“Diana. Are you awake?”
I set my Job Interview Prep book on my comforter, next to my paper and pen. I’ve been writing out answers to the practice interview questions since six this morning. I could barely sleep so I decided I might as well do something productive.
I slide out of bed and open my door.
“Up here, da—“
I look down into our living room and there sits my dad, with…Joshua.
He’s looking just as incredible as yesterday, maybe even a bit better actually.
From my view from above I can really see just how wide his shoulders are.
When he sees me he stands like a gentleman, and it’s like those shoulders of his are coming right up at me. He’s so tall.
His body is angled, and I can see the perfect V-shape he’s sporting. Somehow those massive shoulders taper down into what looks like a trim, 32ish inch waist. How is he so fit, especially for a man who’s a tad over 40?
And why am I looking at him the way I am?
He’s my dad’s age, for crying out loud. I couldn’t imagine one of my friends dropping by and checking out my dad. Gross! Then again, most of my friends are back in Boston. They got jobs in the city right away after we graduated. I thought it would be good to job-hunt here back in Southern California. So much for that idea.
Now the interview season is over at college. No recruiter visits until the end of next semester. I’m stuck finding something here or waiting it out and trying next semester, all the way back in Boston.
But what I’ve found right now might just be a whole lot better, and I can’t take my eyes off him. He’s looking up at me, and our eyes are locked again. It’s just like yesterday. I like how he makes me feel like the center of the universe, just from his look.
The boys in school didn’t pay me much attention, and when they did it usually felt like my presence was barely registering. Their eyes seemed to always be darting around. They were either constantly looking over my shoulder or focused on their cell phone screens. Their eyes seemed to look at anything other than mine. With as much as they looked past me, I started to wonder if someone was behind me about to play a joke, or maybe some celebrity was back there. They never seemed to focus on me. I guess it’s just a byproduct of growing up in the age of Tinder. Just keep swiping until you find what you want, even if it’s only for an hour, or less, of the physical. Not for me. No thanks.
I want something real. Something lasting. And maybe that’s been my problem all along. I was surrounded by boys, when I really needed a man. And Joshua is definitely a man.
Tall, dark, and handsome? Check.
Responsible? Check.
Ambitious? Check
Good with kids? Half-check. I know he’s trying, but I think he just needs a little help. A woman’s touch.
“Joshua wants to talk to you for a second,” my dad says.
“Okay. I’ll be right down. One second.”
I run back into my room and try to slow down my breathing.
What is he doing here?
Joshua has never just dropped by…to talk to me.
Why does this feel so formal? I mean he and my dad are sitting in the living room like he’s asking for my hand in marriage.
I laugh so hard I almost snort, and then laugh again at my first laugh.
I step in front of the mirror, and run my hands through my hair, freshening it up a bit so it doesn’t look so flat.
I pucker up and put on some lip balm. It’s glossy, but not overkill. I can’t really put on a ruby red lipstick to go with my lounging clothes.
Thank goodness I took a shower already. After a mostly sleepless night I thought it might help me relax, and maybe even squeeze in a much needed hour of rest this morning, but it only served to freshen me up even more.
I throw on a more presentable shirt and then push up my bra a bit and make sure the girls are in place. Too much, and my dad will be all over me when Joshua leaves. Too little, and Joshua might still see me as the flat chested little neighbor girl. It’s a delicate balance.
I spray a small bit of perfume on my wrist and then rub my wrists together before touching my wrists to the side of my neck.
“This isn’t a date,” I say under my breath. But why does it suddenly feel like one?
I’m walking a fine line between looking presentable and overdoing it, so I stop, take a deep breath and turn towards the door.
Go time.
I step out into the hallway and Joshua stands again. My dad is looking up at me, and then turns to look at Joshua. He gives him a curious look, and I must say Joshua does look a little eager. I can’t complain one bit though. I can’t remember the last time a guy really seemed excited to see me, and not just because he wanted help with his homework, to borrow some money, or some other self-serving interest.
“Good morning, Diana,” he says.
I must not have noticed it yesterday. I was too taken aback by the sight of him, and the sight of Brianna standing there behind him. Today those raspy notes his voice is hitting are front and center.
He sounds like he was up all night too.
Did he have a date?
Was he playing more games with Brianna?
Was he thinking of me?
I push the crazy talk back in my mind and focus on what I can control…making a good impression.
“Good morning, Joshua. How’s Brianna?”
“She’s good. Thanks. Actually she’s the reason I came over this morning.”
Oh no. Did I do something wrong yesterday?
Do I even admit I was at his house yesterday?
What will my dad think if he finds out?
I mean it was innocent. I just went over to give a child some candy. I wasn’t expecting to find a hunk…the same guy I’ve known forever, but never in this way.
“Oh. Okay,” I say as I stand there facing him.
When I spoke with him yesterday he was inside and I was on the front step, a bit lower. I only walked past him to get to Brianna.
Not today. We’re face-to-face, squared up. He dwarfs me…makes me feel so small. Suddenly my nervousness if replaced with a feeling of safety and security. He’s just so much bigger and stronger than me. I must be light as a feather to him, if he were to scoop me up in those big arms of his. Well, maybe not a feather, but I can certainly wish can’t I?
“I have somewhere I need to be tonight, and I was hoping you might be able to watch her for a few hours.”
“Brianna?” I say. I want to slap myself. Of course Brianna. Who else would it be? I just feel a bit dreamy in Joshua’s presence, and it’s causing me to ask obvious questions. Pull yourself together, Diana.
“Yes. I already spoke with her and she excited to spend time with you.”
“Excited?”
One side of his lip moves upward into a smirk…god he’s so sexy right now.
“Yes, but I’m not sure if she’s excited to get some time away from me, or to be spending it with someone of the same sex. Regardless it’s a win either way for her, and it would be a huge victory for me.”
“I already told him you don’t babysit anymore,” my dad says. “He insisted.”
“Your dad told me your last few attempts at babysitting didn’t turn out so well, but I promise Brianna won’t try and light anything on fire, or sneak up on you and cut your hair with scissors. She’s very calm and respectful, especially for her age.
I think back about how I promised myself I’d never even consider making an attempt to babysit again.
Not only did I promise myself, but I also told my dad.
Once I make a decision I stick with it, and my dad knows it too. I can only imagine how much effort Joshua must have put in just to get my dad to call me downstairs. My dad knows I’ll say no.
And in any other case he’d be right.
“I’d love to,” I say.
I see my dad’s eyebrow raise out of the corner of my eye, and I know I’m going to have some explaining to do.