Charlie had promised herself after what had happened in the bathroom between them at the beginning of the week that she wouldn’t get physical with him until they had more trust between them. He’d taken her from behind for a reason, and after his painful confessions the night before and his comment about walking out to sea, she had an inkling of what had happened to him. His torture hadn’t been simple.

He was using his gorgeous body to distract her from something that he feared. Something he couldn’t talk about.

“Blue—”

“No, Charlie, no more questions. Just touch me.”

“Ocean—”

“Please,” he whispered, his face contorting then smoothing out.

She stared at him, the funny churning in the pit of her stomach very disquieting. His need swayed her, devastated her, made that small chink in her armor grow. There was desperation in him, his need something more than just sexual. She wanted to ask him what it was. What he really needed.

She slowly smoothed her hands over his stubbled face—his cheeks, chin and oh-so-strong jaw, even as he unclenched it at the soft stroke, his beautiful eyes going to half-mast, his face softening. She ran her thumb over his lips, unable to stop herself, and the air caught fire, Blue radiating that energy as if supercharged.

She ran her fingertips over his throat, and his eyes closed as she rubbed the pad of her thumb over the enticing hollow. He gasped, his breathing increasing, his chest expanding. He covered her hand, his touch warm and strong.

She slowly smoothed her hands over the muscled width of his chest, pressing and kneading his nipples as he groaned deeply, the rumble vibrating against her palms. She wanted to caress and stroke every inch of him, telling him through touch alone just how beautiful she thought he was.

Her mouth ached to taste him, but she was reluctant to break this spell they were under. She slipped down to his abdomen, the heavy muscles thick and ridged as her nails scraped over them. She flattened out her hand, then moved it in a slow, massaging tempo, the movement dragging another low groan from him. She closed her eyes and began slowly, sensually kneading his flesh, her pulse growing thick and heavy.

Her fingertips touched the edge of his pants, her intent to find his erection hot and throbbing, but everything changed. He grabbed both of her wrists and held her immobile. With one smooth motion, he stood up, and before she knew what was happening, her world tilted, and she was over his shoulder.

He headed through the shadowy condo to the bedroom where he set her down. She reached for the light switch, but he stayed her hand. “No, no light.”

Disquieted by the somberness in his voice, she stared up at him. “You don’t need to hide anything from me, Blue.”

“No light,” he responded, his voice gruff. “I want you, Charlie, regardless of violating the UCMJ or my own ethics. There’s something about you that I need, and I can’t resist it.”

Troubled by the way he met her eyes, his haunted and anxious, the vulnerability she sensed in him warring with his strength, Charlie realized how fragile he was, just how badly he needed her to be all right with his unease, how he was trying with everything he had to trust her, and the pain of what he was hiding. She was angry at the people who had hurt him, broken him. Wanting and determined to make things better, she reached out and caught the back of his neck, then stretched up to give him a soft kiss.

He stopped breathing and went very still. Charlie could feel the need in him, the lonely, lonely need, and she put her heart and soul into the kiss, wordlessly telling him things she couldn’t say aloud right now. A shudder coursed through him, and he drew a ragged breath, catching her by the back of the head, his jaw flexing beneath her hand as he responded. He moved his mouth slowly against her, tasting her, savoring her, drawing her breath from her and leaving her weak.

It went on and on and on, until Charlie was drowning in all the sensations pouring in on her, and she flattened her hand against his chest. Blue tensed and dragged his mouth away from hers. His heart was slamming in his chest, and his breathing was harsh and uneven, but he gathered her up in a cuddling embrace. Charlie hung on to him, needing him—needing his strength around her. Finally, she was able to get a breath past the frenzy in her chest, and Blue ran his hand up her back, pressing her to him. He turned his head, pressing an unsteady kiss against the curve of her neck, then nestled her closer.

“They took so much from me,” he whispered. “I don’t know what I have left.”

She closed her eyes and hugged him hard, moved by his husky admission. Knowing deep in her heart that she once had lost so much and had buried it away so deeply, so she could function also. And now, there was a horrible emptiness inside her, a hollowness that she had to fill so she could also be whole again. For all these years she had pushed and buried and hidden everything that had once made her who she was. It was imperative she face her fears and her loss. If she didn’t, she was truly frightened she would completely lose herself. If she believed he had the courage to come back, and he did, she could have the courage to face everything that terrified her.

“You have everything you need, babe. I’ll show you that they didn’t take anything, that you’re whole and strong in spite of what happened to you,” she said fiercely.

He let out a ragged breath. “You give me hope,” he whispered.

Unaccountably moved by that admission, even more by the protective way he tucked her head against his shoulder, Charlie shut her eyes and struggled against the sudden threat of tears. Lord, but this man deserved some joy in his life. This man who was taking her out of her comfort zone, who was making her face her own fears.

Resting his cheek against her hair, Blue continued to rub her back, and Charlie turned her face against his neck, saturating herself in his touch. He released a long sigh, running his hand up the full length of her back.

“Strip me down,” she murmured. “Down to the bare bones. Rebuilding requires us to shed everything.”

She could feel him shaking, moved by her words. “I’m scared as hell,” he whispered. “I haven’t been with a woman since the torture, except for the base way I took you in your bathroom. I’m—”

“Don’t be sorry,” she said, covering his mouth, then kissing his lips. “We both wanted it that way. It was honest and intense. It’s the only way I want you to be with me. We both needed to start out showing how much we wanted each other. You gave me hope that we could heal each other.”

“I’ve never met anyone like you, Charlie, so strong and grounded.”

“You do make the earth a little more unsteady under my feet,” she said.

He chuckled softly. “I hope that’s in a good way.”

“Oh, yes,” she whispered. “Really good.”

He back-walked her toward the bed, his hands skimming off her T-shirt, going to the clasp of her bra and dropping it to the floor.

She wanted to keep her mind focused on how he was reacting, but even though this was supposed to be therapeutic, she couldn’t seem to get her mind off how intensely erotic he was.

He wanted her and flipped all her switches. He kissed her passionately, his tongue halfway down her throat, his hands all over her, his breathing ragged. No rules and no one in control of anything.

That added a dark thrill to the whole heart-stopping thing with Blue making love to her mouth, clueless to know what else to call it. It was as intimate as joining with him, a kiss to die for.

When he sucked her tongue, giving her heated thoughts about what he wanted to do to her, she was shameless in her response. The feel of him in her mouth, the taste of him, was intoxicating, dizzying.

He set her on fire with his kiss, made her gasp, and every inch of her wanted more. It was crazy. Crazy and hot and utterly sexual in a way she hadn’t ever experienced before. The reality of being with Blue was so intense—the silkiness of his hair, the rough edge of his jaw beneath her palm, the strength of his arms wrapped around her.

Everything had been so damn safe. She’d cocooned herself in the navy’s embrace and told herself that love was for others. She had the navy and didn’t need anything more. Until she did. The pure physical energy of him was a force to be reckoned with. He was powerful, dangerous and unpredictably seductive.

Her identity was all wrapped in the gold and blue, the uniform, the duty, the pride and the determination to do a good job. In that moment, when he was so warm and hard beneath her hands, she realized that if she couldn’t move beyond that thought, she would be nothing but an empty shell. Where was the pride in that? How could she serve true without taking the chance, having the courage to become who she was instead of burying that beneath layers of armor, hiding herself from herself?

Hiding was a coward’s way out.

There was no more hiding.

Not for her, and she was determined, not for him.

“Let me see you,” she whispered. “All of you, beautiful baby Blue.”

The kiss came to a sudden, heart-catching stop, leaving both of them standing so very still, breathing into each other’s mouths, hardly daring to move.

“Charlie,” he said, his voice showing the utter turmoil warring inside him. “I was so humiliated. She cut me. I thought…” He shuddered, and her heart seized with her compassion for him. That damn bitch! Charlie could kill Natasha with her bare hands.

She ran her hands over his chest, down to the waistband of his pants, his hands automatically going to her wrists.

“Let me,” she murmured softly against his mouth. “I won’t hurt you ever. I want to give you mind-bending pleasure.”

His grip loosened, his chest expanding with his ragged groan. “Charlie, I need you. I have to find a way to get past this. I want to make love to you. Show you the other side of me.”

“I want that, too. But you have to trust me. Let me.”

“No light,” he said.

Charlie stared at him, wanting to push, but this was beyond his capacity right now. He didn’t want to acknowledge his body—except here in the dark, where he could drop his barriers. Any step toward healing was the right method in this moment.

“Okay, no light, but everything else.” The whole truth would come out, even the debilitating truth that was affecting him the most.

“Yes,” he said like a man on the edge of release, his breathing uneven.

She undid her pants and stepped out of them, and before she could even think about taking off his, his hand was there, cupping her, the state of her underwear driving home to him how much she wanted him.

She was too aroused to think straight, especially when his fingers slowly slid beneath her thong and began moving over her so very, very gently. Their mouths sought out each other, and he was devouring her, top to bottom.

He was the kind of man women fall for, she thought through the haze of her arousal. They fall in love with a person who can give them so much pleasure. She was entranced by it, by the sheer eroticism of Blue’s touch and her own raw response.

“God, you are so soft,” he murmured against her lips. “So beautiful.”

His words worked like a desire poured over her senses, and the touch of his hand wouldn’t be enough. She wanted him the way she had him in her fantasies. She wanted him filling her up, driving her up and over the edge of release. She wanted him to make her feel more like a woman than she ever had, and if he couldn’t give her everything, she still wanted him.

He was wild. He was practically a stranger. He was a SEAL, lived with death every day. His work was vital, patriotic, gritty, admirable, and dangerous just like his lethal good looks and his bold personality.

But this connection between them, the seduction—for all its raw power and reckless abandonment of powerful rules and deep-seated fears—it felt like a gift, like the most precious of gifts, the rules be damned. She was his haven in the storm, and he was her catalyst. With their hearts interlocked, they would find the way—for both of them.

She pushed into his fingers, her hips rocking with each stroke. She dragged his mouth back to hers when he slipped two fingers inside her, wanting his mouth on her, the hard length of him between her legs, buried deep inside her. She was all but coming apart at the seams as he continued to drive her wild. There was power and movement, and she was pinned against the wall. Groaning in deep satisfaction, he slipped his hands down her sides, over her hips, pulling at her thighs, urging her to wrap her legs around him as he once again took her mouth with his in a soul-deep kiss.

The instant she lifted one leg up over his hip, so he could take full advantage of her opening to him, she peaked—hard. The strength of it stunned her, robbing her of breath, but he kept up just the right amount of sweet pressure, so she could wring every last pulsing bit of pleasure from the contact. She met his eyes in the semi-darkness, and they glittered hot and primal with satisfaction.

She dropped her leg, her core still throbbing with aftershocks. Pressing her whole body against him, she murmured, “Let me.” Using her nails to score his lower abdomen, she kissed his chest, running her tongue over his nipples, sucking him and making him thrust his hips toward hers. She pulled on the strings of his sweat pants, loosening the band, pushing the material off his hips before his reaction to her touching him receded.

As he stepped out of the pants, her hands slipped down, he caught them just before they reached his erection, and she was momentarily disappointed until he guided her to him, set her hands around his shaft. Then with a soft brushing retreat, he let go.

While the velvet night cocooned them, he let go, his courage overcoming his fear, his distrust dissolving. God, how she wanted to experience that herself. Tears gathered, and her chest filled. This was his transformation, and it was beautiful.

Then she felt what Natasha had done to him. The scars not only on his member, but his groin. Still healing, like his psyche was still coming to terms with what had happened to him and how he was going to handle moving on, getting back to himself.

This step was so filled with his courage, she could barely take a breath without it making her want to cry. She put pressure on his chest to get him to back up, then guided him to the bed where she crowded him until he fell back against the mattress. She moved onto the bed, pushing his thighs open.

He was so hard, his erection jutting thick and rigid, proving his words about how much he wanted her. She rubbed her thumb over the tip, plump and full, moist from his pre-cum, and he swore softly under his breath as his head fell back and he arched his neck. She moved her hands up and down, gloving his erection in her firm but gentle grasp, getting used to the rough patches and the healing scars until there was nothing but Blue beneath her hands and not his trauma or what had been done to him.

She kissed his chest, working her way down his body until her mouth was on the first scar just below his right hip bone. “Charlie,” he said, his voice breathless like his chest was in a vise.

She used her tongue on the thin scar, then kissed each healed injury around his thick shaft. His groans and gasps fueled her desire to show him how sexy and whole he was to her.

She had to taste him.

She wrapped her fingers around the hard, velvet-textured length of him, and he pulsed in her tight grip. She slipped her wet mouth over him, his skin hot and salty against the stroke of her tongue, and he shuddered, his whole body straining. He tangled his hands in her hair as she sucked him, taking him as deep as she could. She worked him over with her mouth, teased him with her tongue, and aroused him to a fever pitch of need that made his entire body shake with the restraint of trying to hold back.

“Oh Christ,” he breathed. “I’m going to come.”

Wanting more with him, she heeded that warning, licking him one last time as she crawled onto his lap. She straddled his hips. She could see the uneasiness in him blossom as she settled on him, but this was necessary. Directing his shaft upward, she took him inch by inch into her body, until he filled her completely and her sex stretched tight around his width.

His breathing grew harsh, but it wasn’t all arousal. When she moved, his nostrils flared, and desire heated his eyes. He clutched her waist and rocked her tighter against his hard-muscled body, setting the kind of rhythm that would get him off.

She grasped his wrists, and he immediately bucked, his eyes popping open and his breathing changing from pleasure to fear.

She kept her eyes on his. “It’s okay, Blue.” She pulled his wrists over his head, her restraint loose and light. She just sat there on him until he got used to it.

“Ride me, Charlie.”

She held him down gently, in complete control of his pleasure, of his release, and she reveled in another courageous show of trust.

She moved on him, and he groaned, his eyes going to slits of intense blue. His chest rose and fell heavily, his expression fierce and hungry as he watched her face with each stroke. With a hot, spiraling sensation of her approaching orgasm, she rocked into Blue, just enough to increase the friction inside of her and against her clit. She pressed down on his erection, hard and deep, and came on a soft, shivery moan.

She bent her head down to his and whispered in his ear. “What do you want, Blue?”

“Make me come, Charlie.”

Her whole body responded to those words, feeling as if she’d scored another wonderful gift. Lowering her mouth to his, she sucked and nibbled his lower lip, and when he opened for her, she slipped her tongue inside in a smooth stroke that matched the roll and glide of her hips against his.

Then she let go of him, and when he grabbed her hips, she let him, but he gave her free rein to set the pace. She moved, enthusiastic and shamelessly uninhibited. She felt his thighs tense beneath hers, felt his stomach muscles ripple, and knew his orgasm was imminent.

Cupping his buzzed head, the short hair like velvet, she tipped his head back and dragged her damp, open mouth along his throat, then gently sank her teeth into the taut tendons where neck met shoulder and put her mark on him.

He bucked upward one last time, hard and strong, and his groan of surrender in her ear was the sexiest sound she’d ever heard.

Once his tremors subsided, he tipped her back against the mattress so that he was lying on top of her and stared down at her with awe on his face. Something broke inside her like a dam that had been built up for so many years and all her defenses seemed to crumble and wash away. There were no more barriers to hold on to and no place to hide. Charlie felt exposed for the first time since she’d been sixteen, lost and afloat on an open ocean, her parents and sister dead in the deep. But there was one difference that made her grasp onto that feeling like a life ring.

This time, she wasn’t alone.