“What’s up?” Tucker busted through my door, and I paused with popcorn halfway to my mouth.
“You know…” I cleared my throat. “In some countries, they think knocking before walking into someone’s house is appropriate.”
He waved his hand in the air and dismissed everything I just said.
“I have good news.” He bounced down on the opposite side of the couch and planted his feet on my coffee table.
“And what would that be?”
He stuck his hand in my bowl of popcorn, and I attempted to smack it away, but he was too quick.
“Well.” He popped some popcorn in his mouth. “Liam and I are going to head down to Tennessee for a four-day weekend on the lake.”
“That sounds awesome.”
It did sound awesome, but a pang of anxiety filled my chest at the thought of him being gone. Being around him on a daily basis had become my new normal, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about him being gone.
“It would be even better if you would come with us.”
I choked on a piece of popcorn.
Not gracefully either.
I felt the kernel get stuck in my throat, and I bent over coughing which also led to me knocking over half the bowl of popcorn.
Tucker laughed before he scooted closer to me on the couch and started patting my back.
“Are you okay?”
He handed me my water when I finally was able to take a breath. I gripped the bottle in my hand and swallowed it down.
“What?” My voice sounded rough.
“Are you okay?” He repeated himself.
“No. Not that.” I waved my hand around like a maniac. “What you said before that.”
“You should go to Tennessee with us?” he said almost as if it was a question.
“Bingo.” I took another drink of water.
“It will be fun. You don’t have any shoots this weekend. You told me so yourself the other day.”
“I didn’t tell you that so you could use it against me.”
“I’m not using it against you. It will be fun. I swear.”
I eyed him skeptically. “I’ll have to talk to Brooke about it.”
“Good luck.” He smirked. “Brooke already said yes.”
…
The trees were lush and green with a spattering of yellow, orange, and red mixed in. Summer was ending and fall was beginning, but it was still hot as can be in Tennessee. I took a deep breath of the air around me and there wasn’t even a hint of smog. It was clean and refreshing, and it made me realize how different this place was from home.
We had just stepped out of the car after the long drive to Tennessee, and I needed a long stretch and a shower. There was just something about being in a car for so long that made me feel like I had been traveling for days. It was probably the fact that I fell asleep as soon as we started the drive and didn’t wake up except for pee breaks.
Tucker and Liam were pulling our bags out of the trunk and Brooke was walking around with her phone in the air praying to the phone gods for service. There were two other cars parked in the driveway of the large cabin we had just pulled up to, and Tucker explained that some of their friends would be meeting us here. I wasn’t sure if that made me more nervous or less.
On one hand, I was nervous as hell to meet Tucker’s friends from Tennessee, but on the other hand, I was scared to spend the weekend with just the four of us.
The cabin sat right on the lake, and although the water was a deep green, it looked perfectly calm and was begging me to run and jump in it.
“Welcome home, ladies,” was yelled from the front porch of the cabin, and I turned to see a blond surfer looking guy leaning over the railing and looking straight at Liam and Tucker.
“Fuck you, Ryan,” Liam called back to him while shutting the trunk and making his way up the stairs.
Tucker saddled up beside me and lifted my bag over his head. “I’m glad you packed light. Did you see how much Brooke packed?”
I looked up at Liam at that moment and saw his muscles straining as he carried Brooke’s bags (Yes, plural) up the stairs.
“That’s Brooke for you. She never packs light.”
Tucker and I made our way into the cabin behind the others, and I was blown away by how gorgeous the place was. There was a large open living room that allowed access to a shiny kitchen and a dining room that had an amazing view of the land outside it. A large porch wrapped around the entire cabin, and I couldn’t wait to sit out there with my Kindle.
Tucker set our bags down just inside the door then he and Ryan pulled each other in a hug while slapping each other on the back.
“Where’s Jase?” Tucker asked his friend.
“He’s upstairs getting everything settled. He’ll be down in a sec.”
Right about the time he finished his sentence, a sound came from the top of the stairs and a guy who I assumed was Jase made his way to where we were. And I couldn’t stop staring at him.
He had dark brown hair almost to the point of black, and he was tall. Taller than anyone else there, and his piercing green eyes looked like they were pure trouble. We could almost be twins if he wasn’t over a foot taller than me and didn’t have a jaw that was chiseled by the gods.
He stuck his hand out to Brooke, and I watched his movements like a hawk.
“Hi. I’m Jase.”
Brooke was looking at him with a dumbfounded look on her face, and I was sure that it matched mine.
“Brooke.”
He smiled a megawatt smile at her before turning to me.
“Hey, gorgeous. What’s your name?”
“I’m…” My voice squeaked, high. I cleared my throat. “I’m Kennedy.”
“Cute name.” He shook my hand, and I could feel my blush creep up my chest.
“Okay. That’s enough. Get off my girl.” Tucker stepped up closer to me.
“Your girl?” Ryan acted shocked. “I thought you said they were just your friends.”
“We are friends, but Kennedy is my bestie so she is off limits.” Tucker was staring right at Jase, and he didn’t even look at Ryan as he spoke to him.
“We’ll see,” Jase said quietly before winking at me and making me blush harder.
“Come on, Kennedy.” It was one of the first times I had ever heard Tucker use my real name. “Let’s go get settled into our rooms.”
Jase chuckled as Brooke and I followed the boys up the stairs and to our rooms. There were three open rooms left so Brooke and I volunteered to share one so Tucker and Liam could each have one to themselves. When we finally shut the door to our room, it was like a dam broke loose.
“Did you see him?” Brooke fanned herself.
“How could I not see him?” I plopped back on the bed and a few pillows fell to the floor.
“He is so hot. He looks like dirty sex.”
“What?” I leaned up on my elbows to look at her.
“You know what I mean. He looks like he would just be straight up dirty sex. He would be the one to tie you up and make you beg for him to spank your ass.” She pointed her finger at me. “And I promise you, we would beg.”
I couldn’t stop laughing at her description of him, but God, she was right. That was the exact vibe he was giving off.
“I wonder if he’s single.”
“Like it matters,” she scuffed. “Your watch dog isn’t going to let that man anywhere near you.”
“Whatever. He doesn’t have a choice.”
…
After taking showers and changing clothes, Brooke and I made our way back downstairs. We had put on our bathing suits, but unlike Brooke, I had covered mine with a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Brooke was rocking a hot pink bikini, and she was strutting her stuff in all her glory. It was something I would never be able to do.
I also had on a bikini (Because it was a battle I couldn’t win with Brooke), but I had every intention of wearing my T-shirt into the water. She didn’t need to know that though. It was my way of winning an argument without actually arguing.
When we made it downstairs, the guys were already out by the water. I popped my oversized sunglasses on my face to block out the bright sun and followed Brooke out toward the lake bank.
Tucker was in the water when we arrived so I laid out my beach towel and took a seat. I needed to work up the courage before I shimmied my shorts down my legs and made my way into the water.
Brooke set her bag down next to me and didn’t hesitate as she headed over to where Liam, Jase, and Ryan were all standing in the water. I envied her confidence. I had never seen her in a situation where she doubted herself or her self-worth. She always knew exactly what she wanted, and she went after it. No worries. No insecurities. She was fearless.
I watched her through my sunglasses as she stood waist deep in the water and charmed the socks off of each of the guys. Liam was looking at her with a small smile on his face, but I wasn’t sure if it was out of friendship or something more. The few times I had been around Liam, he was carefree and laidback, and I had a hard time getting a read on him.
A splash of water against my skin pulled my attention away from watching them, and I screamed as Tucker bent down and flung his dripping wet hair in my direction.
“What the hell are you doing?” I screeched.
“Coming to get you. Come swimming.”
“By getting my clothes wet?” I shook out my top.
“I’m sorry, firecracker.” He smiled his dimpled smile at me. “Do you forgive me?”
“I guess.” I smiled back at him. I couldn’t help it. He was too infectious.
“Well. Strip down and let’s go.”
I stood from my towel, and I looked around me to make sure no one’s attention was on me before I popped the button on my shorts and worked them down my legs. I began walking to the water, but Tucker gripped the back of my shirt and pulled me to a stop.
I looked over my shoulder at him.
“What’s this?” He tugged on my shirt.
“It’s a T-shirt.” I looked at him as if he was an idiot.
“I know that smart ass. I meant why are you still wearing it?”
“Because I want to.” I crossed my arms over my stomach and prayed that he let the subject drop. It was a wasted prayer.
“You are not swimming in a T-shirt. Take it off.”
“You can’t tell me what to do. I want to wear it.” I huffed.
He finally let go of my T-shirt but moved his hand to cup my chin. “Take it off, firecracker.” His voice was soft, and I knew that he knew this was an insecurity for me. I could see it in his eyes. He was telling me that I could be comfortable with him, and he didn’t even have to say the words.
I gripped the edges of my T-shirt and my hands hesitated. Inhaling a deep breath, I closed my eyes and pulled the shirt over my head. Tucker’s eyes roamed down my body, and I had to fight the urge to run and pick up the T-shirt that I just tossed behind me. I fiddled with the tie on my bathing suit bottom to stop myself from covering my stomach with my hands.
Tucker caught the movement and his eyes went there before meeting mine. “You’re beautiful.”
I looked away from him. “Thanks, Tuck.”
He placed his hand on my chin again and pulled my face back in his direction. “You are beautiful.” He sounded out each word, and I stared into his eyes and tried to see what he was seeing. All I saw was truth.
It was pure.
It was overwhelming.
I felt lost in him, in his words, in being around him.
Then Brooke’s squeal rang out through the air and the moment between us was broken. I looked over my shoulder just in time to see Brooke fly through the air and land in the water like a cannonball. Liam was bent over clutching his stomach in laughter, and I had no doubt that he was the guilty party.
“And you said he was nicer than me.” Tucker started walking toward the water and I slowly followed him.
“I’m not sure if that is exactly what I said.”
“It was something like that. You basically said that you liked him more than me.” He pouted out his bottom lip and he looked so damn adorable.
My toes hit the cool water and I dug them into the soft dirt underneath.
“Now I know you’re lying. There is no way I could like Liam more than you.”
“Aww, babe.”
Babe coming off his lips sent a shiver through me, and I hoped he attributed it to the cool water and not to the fact that he could practically make me swoon with just one word. One little word and my heart was fluttering in my chest.
Tucker reached his hand out for mine, and I gave it to him with no hesitation. His skin was warm and rough against mine. He had a callus on his palm right under his middle finger, and I couldn’t stop myself as I ran my finger back and forth over the tough skin.
He was pulling me toward him slowly, and I stared at his dimpled grin and wished that we could be something that we’re not. I would never be good enough for someone like Tucker. He was perfect in both looks and personality, and I didn’t compare to him. I was his friend. His bestie. Nothing more. No matter how bad I wanted it.
When I was just a few short inches away from his body, he placed his hands on my hips and lifted me into the air. I was so lost in my own thoughts that it took me about two seconds too long to realize what was happening. My ass hit the water right before the rest of me sunk to the bottom of the lake. I barely managed to gasp a breath of air before I went under.
It was a good dose of reality though.
While I was fantasizing about what we could’ve been, Tucker was throwing his good buddy into the water. We had completely different ideas about each other, and I needed to get myself in check. The bottom line was that Tucker was my friend, and if I wanted to keep him in my life then that was where he needed to stay. I wouldn’t go ruining things by making a move on him.
When my face broke the surface of the water, I took a deep breath of air and tried to clear my head.
Tucker was my friend.
Tucker wasn’t into me.
I repeated the mantra in my head before opening my eyes and looking over at him. He had a large playful smile on his face. His dimples were in full force, and his wet hair was in disarray, a few pieces falling into his brown eyes. His chest was bare, and water rivets were sliding over his muscled chest and abs as they made their way back to the water. And there I was again. Overwhelmed and completely in danger of making a fool of myself.
I pushed my hair out of my face and took off swimming in the direction of Brooke. I could hear Tucker’s laughter behind me, and although it made me want to go right back to him and breathe in his laughter like it was air, I needed separation. I was drowning in everything that was Tucker, and I didn’t want him to throw me a floatation device.
I wanted him to drown with me.