Most of the staff was gone when we walked back out into the dining room, and for that, I was thankful. Tucker narrowed his eyes on his sister’s arm that was wrapped in mine as we made our way to where he, Liam, and Chloe were standing, but I looked away from him.
I had to get through this and looking at him was the quickest way for me to fail.
“Okay. So where do you want to start?” I asked, my voice much more gravelly than normal.
Nobody said anything at first so I looked over at Tucker to see him watching me. His expression blank.
Liam cleared his throat, and I turned my attention to him.
“I think we’d like some pictures by the bar then we’ll do whatever you suggest.”
I nodded my head and got all my camera equipment ready.
When I pressed my camera to my face, I stared at Tucker and Liam through the lens. It was safer this way. Less vulnerable. My camera was my safety net.
I took their pictures. Liam smiling while Tucker looked like he could kill someone at any moment. I could barely even see Liam though. I was taking advantage of my excuse to take in Tucker. I didn’t know if I would have this opportunity again.
“Chloe, do you want to get in the picture,” I called out from behind my lens. I needed a distraction if I wanted these pictures to turn out at least decent. “You should sit on the bar between them.”
Chloe did as I suggested and I continued to shoot. We made our way around the restaurant. Tucker seemed to relax some after a while, and I finally managed to get some images where he didn’t look like an asshole. Because he wasn’t. He didn’t need to be portrayed that way. Even if I was hurt by him. Even if we managed to hurt each other.
When we finally wrapped up, I immediately began packing up my equipment. I looked up when Chloe walked up beside me, and when I saw her smiling face, it filled me with disappointment that it wasn’t Tucker.
“Hey.” I zipped up my camera bag.
“Do you want to stay and have a celebratory drink with us?” she asked hesitantly.
“No. I don’t think so.” I looked over at Tucker who was staring directly at me. “It’s been a long day. I’m going to head home and work on these images.”
“You sure?” She cocked her head to the side.
“Yeah. Hopefully, I’ll have all these images to you in a couple days.”
“Okay. That sounds good.”
“I’ll talk to you later?” I lifted my bag onto my shoulder.
“Of course.”
I walked all the way home. The weather was starting to turn cooler, and I wrapped my arms around myself to keep the chill away.
So many things ran through my mind as I mindlessly took each step toward my apartment. My apartment that was right next door to Tucker’s. Would he bring women home with him again? I couldn’t bear the thought of hearing him in his room with another woman. The thought was like a sucker punch to my stomach.
How did we get here? Why did I jump to conclusions? Why did I bring that guy home with me? Why did he lie to me?
That last question had been lying dormant in my mind, but now that I thought about it, the more pissed off I became. What was his plan all along? Was I just a damn game to him? Was nothing between us real?
By the time I made it back to my apartment, I was filled with sadness, anxiety, and fury. As soon as one emotion would take the lead, another thought would pop into my head, and the game would change again.
Exhaustion was the strongest at that moment, and I wanted nothing more than to dive face first into my bed and not come out for a week.
I opened my front door and sighed in relief when I didn’t see Brooke. I knew she would question about how today went, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not yet. Not after everything that happened.
I sat down at my desk and entered my memory card into my computer. The images downloaded one after another. Picture after picture of Tucker’s face flashed across my screen, and once again, misery took the lead.
I felt pathetic as I clung onto every image of him. I took in his beautiful brown eyes that were burning holes into my camera. His lips that were usually upturned and playful were the complete opposite. He looked dark and desolate. He looked damn handsome, but it wasn’t him. And I was the one to do this to him. I was the one to hurt him.
Fuck. I really hurt him.
I had no idea how to fix it. I wasn’t even sure if I could, but I knew for certain that I couldn’t fix it today. We both needed time to cool off. We both needed time to think. And if I was lucky, Tucker would realize how badly I needed him, and hopefully, he would need me too.