Finally, it felt like my life was back on track. I felt like I was truly happy for the first time since Mike said he wanted a divorce. Even with Bryson around, I couldn’t help feeling a bit lonely. That was gone now, though.

The reason for it was, of course, Ken. Although for a while Ken seemed a little distant. I wasn’t sure what the problem was, he’d just get distracted when we were together, and I wasn’t sure we were close enough for me to ask, so I’d kept my mouth zipped.

But he didn’t stop coming to see me. Sometimes, he’d even join Bryson and me for dinner, though usually, he came after my son had gone to sleep. He was busy getting his new boxing school up and running, so I figured that was it. He’d hired someone to help him out, an instructor/trainer, and most of Ken’s time was spent in the studio.

His nights were spent in my bed. He was there every night, and I wasn’t exactly complaining. And just like that, weeks passed.

At work one morning, I wondered how worried I should be.

Ken and I had been growing close. Work even seemed like less of a chore because I had Ken to look forward to in the evenings. But he was slowly growing to mean so much to me. It was dangerous letting someone—anyone—this close to me knowing they could easily leave. As much as the two of us had a lot of fun, there was no commitment. We didn’t talk about what exactly was going on between us. He could decide to stop it, or he could find someone else, someone younger with a lot fewer responsibilities and a lot more free time.

I lived in fear of that. But I didn’t try to talk to him about it, either. I wasn’t nearly that brave.

Besides, there was no way I could be falling in love with him. We were just having a little fun! Ken was too young; much younger than me. People would notice, and it wouldn’t be pretty.

That was the conclusion I came to with myself. But I was still worried. When lunch came around, I called my friend Annara to meet me at our usual café, and I rushed out of work so fast people stared at me. I got there faster than I usually did, arriving before she did. I waited impatiently for her.

“What has you so wound up?” she asked curiously as she sat across from me. “You’re practically vibrating in your seat. It would be funny except I’m kind of worried. Just how much coffee have you had?”

I rolled my eyes at Annara’s quip. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for her dry brand of humor.

“I haven’t had any coffee, I’m just in need of some serious girl talk, and my lunch break only lasts for so long.”

She looked at me with pursed lips for a moment, then lifted a hand to hail a waiter.

“We might as well order now, then,” she said, arching an eyebrow at me.

Our usual waiter showed up, and we ordered our usual. Occasionally, we’d pick something different from the menu, but I didn’t have the patience for that today. He wrote it down and went back quickly, seeming to notice the atmosphere between us.

“All right,” Annara said, folding her arms on the table and focusing on me. “What exactly has your panties in such a twist, huh? I thought you were happy.”

I grimaced. “Yeah, I am. That’s the problem.”

Her eyebrows shot up, and she gave me an incredulous look. “Lydia, this better not be over something so stupid, like you don’t think you deserve happiness or anything like that.”

I shook my head quickly. “No, it’s nothing like that. Annara, I think I’m falling hard for this guy.”

I didn’t mention the ‘L’ word, but Annara was smart, and she knew me well. She could guess what my problem was and how serious it was, so she didn’t give me an answer immediately. As impatient as I was, I forced myself to keep my mouth shut and wait for her to speak. The waiter came back with our food and left before she had something to say.

“Has he said anything? Have the two of you even talked about… anything?”

“He comes to my house in the evenings, and we sleep together, Annara. Where do we get time even to talk?” After that first time, he didn’t even spend the night. We’d done the deed, cuddle for a little bit, and he would be gone before I fell asleep. I thought it was pretty considerate because I still had work and a son to take care of, but now I was reading differently into things.

Was he really into me, if he wouldn’t even spend the whole night in my bed?

“Then you really should find some time to talk. This bothers you, and it involves the two of you.”

I grimaced, picking at my food. “I would sound stupid if I suddenly tried to talk about this, wouldn’t I? I’m not trying to push him away…”

“Well, has he made any indication that he doesn’t want to be with you? Or that you’re nothing more than a convenient booty call?”

My expression turned sour at her wording. “I don’t know, Annara. I’m not as good as that subtle shit as you are, you know. I was with Mike for years, and I couldn’t tell he was going to suddenly ask for a divorce and leave me.”

“But Ken isn’t Mike,” she reminded me. “And if you’re really worried, what you need is to talk it out. Besides, what would be so wrong about it? I’ve seen him a few times and, damn it, Lydia, I’m so fucking jealous of you. That man is fine.”

I frowned at her. “He’s also way younger than I am, Annara. As in, more than a decade younger. It shows now, and it’s only going to get even more visible as time goes by. He’s a man growing into his prime, and I’m practically an old lady robbing the cradle!”

Unexpectedly, Annara laughed at me, and I glowered.

“Are you worried people would see you as his sugar momma or something?”

I hadn't even thought that far, but now she’d put it in my mind. I glanced around to make sure no one around us heard that, feeling my face heat. Fuck! This woman was supposed to be my friend, why would she even say that to me!

She sighed, seeing my reaction. “Lydia, calm down. Think about it. Ken may be younger, but has he done anything to make you think he’s immature? That he won’t think about things seriously?”

I pursed my lips as I thought about it. It took a long moment, but then I was shaking my head. No, he’d never done anything like that. Quite the contrary, in fact. Ken was serious and had this outlook on life that a lot of people around his age wouldn’t have. A lot of kids these days at that age were just out of college and getting into the working world, still getting over their college days. He was so much more mature than I’d been at that age.

Ken was also intelligent, and every time he and Bryson met, my son adored him as much as Ken seemingly adored my son. I loved seeing them both together, especially the times when Ken would show him how to box. My son’s face would light up, even though I’d been against it at first.

“No,” I said slowly. “Ken is so awesome, Annara, you have no idea just how much. He would be the perfect man if he weren't so much younger than me.” I groaned and dropped my face into my hands. “Why couldn’t he be even five years older? I could handle it if he were at least in his thirties!”

Annara just snorted. “Whatever you say. And how about you, hmm? Just how much of yourself are you giving into this?”

I looked up at her with a pout. “Of course, I’m holding a part of myself back. I just lose a little of myself each time, and it’s starting to worry me… I mean, at my age, falling head over heels in love would be stupid.”

Annara gave me a look as we silently finished our meal, and I had to rush back to work, or I’d be late. I kept worrying throughout the afternoon, until I had to collect Bryson from school.

Ken arrived home just as we did, and there was no time to hide before Bryson was dragging him to our backyard. I followed the two of them and watched from the doorway as they mock sparred. I left them to keep myself busy before it was time for dinner, and when I turned the light on because it was starting to grow dark, they were still there, having fun, even as their breaths steamed in the chilly winter air. My heart swelled with both warmth and worry.

There was just too much at stake for me and Bryson if things didn’t work out between us, or I got in too deep and he didn’t follow.

Bryson had taken to boxing as much as he’d taken to Ken, and I felt a bit like I got in the middle of it. I could see just how much Ken loved it too, and I couldn’t help worrying what the future held for us.