On Monday, I was back to work. I had to get up early, make sure my boy was all right, then head off to the office in a hurry.

I was almost late.

The weekend was over, and now Monday was a whole new hell.

Yesterday, Ken was supposed to show up to continue fixing my fence. But instead, because there was a rain shower, we had to take a rain check. I was partly glad for this because it meant he had an excuse to show up on my doorstep. But for the same reason, I didn’t like it. I would have rather had things done than to torture myself slowly like this.

To make matters worse, Bryson was brought back early after breakfast feeling poorly. It could have been something he ate when Martha wasn’t looking, or he ended up with a tummy virus. Either way, my baby spent the rest of the day puking and lying in his bed, groaning for most of the day. He’d seemed to calm down later in the evening and even managed to keep down some food. When I woke him up this morning, he seemed just fine and went to school as usual.

But it had been a long weekend and it was going to be a long Monday for me. Just getting to my desk to see all the papers waiting for me, I was tempted to toss everything to the floor and lie down on the desk. But that would be childish, and I was supposed to be a mature woman.

Still, I was so glad when lunch rolled around. My friend had called me up to meet her because she worked nearby, and I was looking forward to the break. The place we were meeting at was close enough to walk, and I didn’t hurry on the way, letting the cool breeze relax me a little.

“Lydia, over here!”

I looked up to the sound of my name and saw my friend. She was seated at an outdoor table under an umbrella, waving her hand at me. I smiled and walked over, taking the seat across from her.

“Hey, Annara,” I said, plopping down with a heavy sigh.

She arched a blond eyebrow at me. “You look dead tired.”

“Well, I can't help it. Bryson was sick all day yesterday, and I had to keep cleaning up his spills…”

She wrinkled her nose. Annara, unlike me, didn’t have any children. She was also a few years younger, so she still had time if she wanted to start a family. I hoped she would take the chance one day because I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without Bryson, puke and all.

“Sorry about that. I hope the little guy is okay.”

I shrugged. “I think he ate something he shouldn’t have and didn’t tell Martha about it. He was over at her place so he could have a sleepover with Jason on Saturday. He’s doing fine now, though.”

Annara murmured, pushing her sunglasses up over her blond hair to reveal twinkling brown eyes. She was going to say something else but before she could a waiter stopped at our table. He grinned down at us, holding a notepad with a pen at the ready.

“What can I get for you, ladies?”

I reached for one of the menus as she picked up the other. We went through it quickly and decided on what we wanted. We gave the order, and the waiter walked away. I didn’t miss Annara’s eyes lingering on him, especially his ass, and I rolled my eyes. She caught it and scoffed at me.

“Oh, come on. I’m single. There’s nothing wrong with looking, is there?”

I sighed, slumping my shoulders. If I could feel the way she did, I would have stared at Ken’s ass as he worked on my fence without feeling any guilt or confusion.

“Please just ignore me,” I said, waving a dismissive hand at her. “I’m not really in the best of moods right now.”

She grinned. “I don’t see why, when you had such a hot guy to keep you company on the weekend.”

My eyes widened, my back straightening as I felt a flush climb up my cheeks. Ken and I had been out together twice on Saturday. I remembered his face from lunch, then later that evening. Not to mention the way he’d looked at me when I closed my door on him on Saturday night.

“How do you know about that?” I asked, leaning across the table as I frowned at her, my voice coming out in a low hiss.

Annara laughed at me, the fine features of her pretty face filled with glee. “Calm down, will you! I was going to the supermarket to buy some things when I just saw you there. You know, in that restaurant that has the big window in the front? I didn’t think it was you for a moment because you said you didn’t plan on seeing anyone, so it was a surprise.”

I covered my eyes with my palm.

“It’s…” I started to explain, only my voice trailed off because I didn’t know how to begin.

“I think it’s nice that you’re trying to move on from your husband,” she said. “It’ll do you good, and he seemed like a nice guy. You should try it, see where it’ll lead.”

My hand dropped and I opened my mouth to explain things, but the waiter was back with the food. We both sent him smiles in thanks, then I turned back to her.

“It’s not like that,” I said immediately, so there wouldn’t be any misunderstanding.

No matter how hot Ken was, he lived right next door to me, and he probably wouldn’t be moving anytime soon. I didn’t do booty calls. If it was just a one night stand, I could get it out of my system, but you didn’t want to see your one night stands in the morning. Or to accidentally bump into them on your way to work, or when you’re bringing your son home.

“What do you mean it isn’t like that?” Annara complained immediately, even as she stuffed her mouth with food. “I’m telling you, for those of us watching, you two looked close, and I could swear he looked interested in you.”

I frowned. “You weren’t even close enough to see him. I would have noticed.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not just looking at a guy’s expression, its body language, too. And his body language meant he wanted to take you home and have fun with you. So don’t hold yourself back.”

I pouted, picking up my fork and poking at the food. It looked delicious, but suddenly it was like I had butterflies in my stomach.

There was no way Ken and I could have a fling and just pretend like it never happened. But would he even be interested in something like that with me? In spite of Annara’s confidence, I didn’t think so.

Surely, he must see my age! And even if he didn’t, the fact that I had an eight-year-old son said things, although I’d had him a little late. Not to mention, I’d told Ken all about my husband, even mentioning that he’d left us. It had been more than a year since we’d heard from Mike, but I wasn’t ready to forget my husband of more than a decade yet.

Why do I have to think about him, though? He doesn’t seem to ever think about me, just up and disappearing after filing for divorce without telling me…

He’d waited until the papers were finalized and told me that either I signed them or I didn’t, but he would be going anyway. I couldn’t even cry at the time; I was so numb. I signed the papers and he left, and that was it. Without explanation, he turned his back on me and walked away.

I’d had plenty of time to cry myself to sleep after that.

“Lydia.”

I looked up at Annara’s gentle tone. She was looking at me, her expression full of sympathy, and I had to look away because I couldn’t stand it.

“Look, I know you, okay? I know you’re still hurting. But please. Try and think about yourself, and the future of your kid. You can't stay hung up on Mike for forever.”

I pursed my lips. “I know that…”

I did, but it would be hard to say I wasn’t affected. It took a lot out of me. The fucker practically abandoned me after all. And I’d spent days worrying if I was the problem, or if it was Bryson or a million other things. He’d made me doubt myself, the people around me, even my friends. Everything I thought to be true was suddenly foreign. It had taken a while before I could blame only him, the cause of it all, but I hadn't progressed too far.

“Tell me one thing,” Annara said. “What’s the guy’s name?”

“Ken,” I said immediately. It wasn’t a secret, right?

She nodded. “Well, then. If you’re asking for advice, I’ve got it for you. Don’t take too long, just take what you want. But first, you have to decide what you want. Do you understand me?”

I nodded my head slowly. What I wanted from a man like Ken. A young man. A very hot, steamy, young man. I imagined it was the same as most of the female population would want if they could lay eyes on him.

“I want him to want me,” I said out loud. Annara paused eating, and it made me feel a little self-conscious. But I didn’t shut up. “I want him to ask me to his bed, to ask to do fun and sexy things to me. So maybe if he offered, I wouldn’t have to be so fucking shy like a teenager and I can just… go with the flow.”

Even as I said it, though, I didn’t think it would amount to anything. If it ever did happen… I’d probably agree to it because it wasn’t like I could get a chance this great again. If Ken could keep quiet and had himself under control, then just maybe.

Maybe, I would consider it.