Chapter 18

“I knew you could do it, kid.” Rory congratulated his brother.

“Was there ever any doubt?” Kane played it cool, but he was clearly proud, as everyone in his family congratulated him and hugged him outside the convention center after he had changed.

Rory had expected to feel happy if his brother won, obviously, but he was caught off guard by how much pride he felt for Kane. It almost rivaled the pride he used to feel after winning a match during his own career. Kane’s win qualified him to enter the regional fight in six months, which, Rory knew, meant a lot of extra training.

While Kane had won, it hadn’t been a landslide by any means. He definitely needed more time and practice to get to where he would need to be for the regional fight. When Rory drifted back a bit to let the rest of his family get their moment with the winner, he instantly spotted Clare standing off to the side.

She had her arms hugged around herself, smiling as she watched the family’s exchange. She seemed like she was only partly there; the rest of her was off in a memory that she was trying to hold close and not let go. Rory stepped back to take in his family, seeing the same thing she was and wondering how he had gotten so lucky as to have a family like them.

Clare was right: He hadn’t appreciated what he had.

He could see from the twinkle in her emerald eyes that she was taking it all in, enjoying every moment of it she could, because she didn’t have the luxury of a family anymore. His heart hurt for her right then, but the guilt loomed the heaviest. He had been so focused on his own selfish needs and wants, on his own failures in fighting, on his own life, that he hadn’t ever appreciated all he had been blessed with.

Sure, his knee hurt and continued to throb even then, but the itch of withdrawal from not taking pills hurt more. He felt confident that his knee would heal and that he would be able to handle it, something he had never actually thought himself capable of before. His assuredness and his confidence in himself were new feelings for him, and he had only Clare to thank for the change.

As Rory continued to observe Clare, he realized she had turned her attention from his family to him. When she saw he had caught her staring, she blushed, her crimson cheeks sending a pulse straight through him. He couldn’t wait any longer to talk to her.

Rory said good-bye to his brother. “Kane, I’ll catch up with you at Legends on Monday. Take the weekend off and celebrate.”

“Thanks for all your help, Rory. I mean it.”

“Same here, son. You did a great thing today,” Seamus told him.

“I didn’t do anything—it was all ‘Killer’ Kane here.” Rory kissed his mother good-bye and then Casey, before hustling over to where Clare stood.

He closed the distance between them quickly, confidently taking her hand and pulling her down the sidewalk, away from his family. She didn’t say anything, but let him lead her away, speeding up her small steps to match his large ones.

The moment they disappeared from view around the corner, Rory turned and slid a hand around her waist, pressing her firmly between himself and the brick side of a building. Her eyes widened, causing his breath to catch at the deep green pools staring into him.

“Rory—” she began in a whisper, but he cut her off.

“A few days ago I was asking you out on a second date. Then I went almost two days without seeing you, only to fuck it all up.” His voice was low, rumbling in his chest, and he knew it was the cause of the small bumps suddenly covering Clare’s skin.

“You saw me yesterday,” she said, her voice wavering.

“If I could go back and make yesterday never happen, I would in a second. It’s been the worst forty-eight hours of my life without you, Clare.”

“Rory, don’t do this.” One overwhelming tear treacherously made its way over her eyelashes and dashed down her cheek.

He paused to watch it fall, then erased its path with his thumb, kissing her cheek gently where the tear had once been.

“That’s not me, Clare, not anymore. I gave it all up a while ago—I was getting clean. And I will be again. It’s over and I’m done with it. I thought you were gone; I thought you left. I didn’t know what to do.” His body sagged into hers as her arms twisted around the back of his neck, her fingers sliding through his wavy hair.

“What happens if we have a fight or if something bad happens—you’ll just go back to drugs? Drugs I didn’t even know existed in the first place? How can I trust that?”

“No, never again. I fucked up, Clare. I don’t know how you can trust my word again, but I’m asking you to do it anyway. I don’t deserve someone as wonderful as you, but I’m selfishly asking for you anyway.” His voice turned softer, pleading. “I need you, Clare. I need you more than I ever knew I could need someone. Please, mhuirnín.”

Clare paused for a moment, searching his eyes as if she was trying to decide whether or not to believe him. He stayed silent and gently rubbed his fingers up and down her upper arms slowly, waiting for her to say something, but she didn’t.

He was putting himself out there for her, but she wasn’t giving him anything back. It was absolute torment. He broke the silence. “Why did you leave, Clare? Why did you leave me?”

“I didn’t leave you.” Her eyes widened, as if she was shocked that he would think that. “I was going to contact you when I figured out where I was going, but then I ran into your cousin. I would have eventually let you know that I was gone, once I figured things out myself.”

“What are you not telling me, Clare?” He knew he sounded frustrated, but he could see she was keeping something from him, and every second he had to dig for it frustrated him even more.

“Travis Creighton, my ex-boyfriend—he found me,” she blurted out, terror frozen on her face.

“That’s why you left California—you were on the run from your ex?” He started putting together the pieces, and she nodded in confirmation.

“He called me on Wednesday night at O’Leary’s and said he knew where I worked and where I lived and he was coming for me. I had to get out of there as soon as possible—if he finds me, he—” A tremor rocked through her body before she resorted to whispering. “I don’t know what he will do.”

Rory recalled the fear he had seen in her before at the mention of her ex-boyfriend, remembering she had told him he would get rough with her. Add that to what Casey told him about Travis Creighton being a drug addict, or dealer, and it sounded like he was definitely an unpleasant person.

“Look at me.” Two of his fingers tilted her chin to look up at him.

She was still pressed between him and the wall; one of his arms was around her waist, pressing her hips into him while her top half leaned back against the brick. She was trembling, which made his heart ache, but at the same time it made him want her even more. He wasn’t paying attention to anything else around him; all he could focus on was her warm body molded to his.

“If you’re with me, Clare, there is never a reason to run. Ever. You got that?”

She nodded and bit her lip nervously, but she didn’t look convinced yet.

“If you’re with me, I will never let anything happen to you. No one will ever touch you. As long as I’m breathing, you are safe. He can’t hurt you; I would never allow it. Do you believe me? Do you believe that I can protect you?” He dropped his tone lower as he finished talking, and he felt her shiver against him, which made his concentration difficult.

“I trust you,” she whispered after a second passed. He took the opportunity to descend slowly and cover her lips with his. It wasn’t a heated or passionate kiss. It was tender and soft, affectionate and reassuring. He wanted her to feel in this kiss everything that he was feeling inside himself.

“And Clare?” He broke away to look at her intently.

“Yes?”

“You’re with me now. Tá mé leatsa. Tá tú mianach. I’m never letting you go again.” He kissed her once more, talking into her lips. “Are you okay with that, girlfriend?”

“More than okay.” A smile finally stole its way onto her face, and he kissed her again, deeper and hungrier this time.

Clare’s mind was reeling as she entered Rory’s apartment behind him, less than thirty minutes later. His fingers were intertwined with hers as he took her hand to lead her inside, kissing her while he closed the door behind her. He unbuttoned her coat, sliding it down her arms to drop in a puddle around her feet. She did the same for his jacket, licking her lips as her hands landed on his firm chest.

She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck, letting his lips meet hers again. It had been only two days, but she had missed him fiercely. She was terrified about everything she had seen yesterday, yet she believed him when he told her that those mistakes were behind him.

Believing him went against everything she had ever taught herself; she had learned not to trust anyone and that everyone only lied.

But for the first time, she wasn’t following her own advice.

She was choosing to trust him. That’s all trust is, she thought. Trust is just a choice. Someone can’t earn your trust if you don’t choose to let them, to give them the chance to show you. She was going to give Rory that chance, and somehow she knew that he wouldn’t let her down.

Her breathing became heavier as his hands slid down her back and cupped her bottom, lifting her against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her deeper into the apartment. Ace barked at them as Rory did his best to navigate blindly around the dog, but neither one of them was paying much attention to anything outside of their bodies pressed together. It didn’t take them long to reach his bedroom, where his knees hitting the edge of the bed caused him to fall over onto the soft mattress.

He held out his hands to brace himself and keep from putting all his weight on her, but as she peered up at him, she grabbed his shirt in her fists, twisting her hands into the fabric and pulling him down against her. One of his knees dropped between her legs and she arched her hips up to meet him, immediately feeling how much he wanted her.

His silver eyes bored into her, flaming with heat. His hands were flat against the mattress on either side of her head; her hands pressed against his chest. She felt his muscular frame underneath her hands as she ran them down his chest, across his abs, to the bottom hem of his shirt. Grabbing it, she pulled it up over his head with his assistance, revealing his chiseled abs.

He growled as her eyes roamed over his body, and she could tell he was struggling not to pounce on her. She appreciated his restraint; she needed a moment to savor this, to savor him against her, on top of her, with her. Rory was twice her size at least, towering over her. It was intimidating and arousing, and she started second-guessing herself.

“Clare, look at me.” Rory’s voice rumbled in his chest, vibrating against her hands and causing a shiver of excitement to course through her body. As she reluctantly let her eyes meet his, she could tell that he saw the doubt creeping into her mind.

“Yesterday is over. The past is over. You’re with me, right here and now. Tomorrow, next week, next year, you’re with me. You’re mine, Clare. Do you understand?”

Clare felt tears stinging her eyes as she listened to him. A lump formed in her throat, and she began to shake as sobs overtook her. His eyes went from passionate to worried, and she turned her head sideways into the mattress to try to hide her distress.

“What’s wrong, mhuirnín?” His tone was soft now.

“Why, Rory? Why me? I’m not who you think I am. I’m not a good person. I’ve done things that are awful—I’ve looked the other way when my ex did unspeakable things. I was so stupid, and now he’s going to find me.” The words were roughly pulled from her throat.

She suddenly felt cold, and she realized that he had gotten off the bed and stood. Glancing up, she saw his hand outstretched for her. Wiping the few escaped tears away, she took his hand and let him pull her onto her feet.

“I want to show you something,” he told her as they walked hand in hand out of his bedroom and through the living room, toward the kitchen. Ace was now sleeping in a large dog bed in the corner of the living room as they passed, content on his own.

“Look at that.” Rory broke her out of her thoughts, and she stepped around him to look at what he was pointing at. On the kitchen windowsill was a small potted ivy plant.

She gasped. “That’s from my apartment.”

“To call that place an apartment is kind of a stretch. In all that emptiness, there sat that little plant, perfectly taken care of and healthy.”

“So?”

“Since the day I met you, I’ve seen you do nothing but care for those in need—a person, the dogs at the shelter, even this plant. Mhuirnín, you are a good person. You’re the best kind of person.” He pulled her to him and kissed her forehead.

She shook her head in disagreement.

“You don’t understand. I’ve made so many mistakes, Rory.”

“And I haven’t?”

“Not like me,” she countered.

“Clare, you caught me illegally taking drugs yesterday. Why can you forgive me, but not yourself?”

She bit her lip and peered up at him. She knew he was right; the double standard didn’t make sense. Yet somehow, she still felt as though she was harboring secrets he wouldn’t forgive so easily.

Rory’s fingers tipped her chin up. “Clare, stop thinking.” He pulled her tighter against him and kissed her, first on the lips, then kissing a line across her jaw and down her neck.

His hands slid lower to the bottom of her shirt; catching the hem, he pulled it over her head and tossed it somewhere behind her. She was quickly losing track of the fears she had been trying to hold on to, as she felt his warm lips traveling across her collarbone.

“Still thinking?” he teased, tickling her as his fingers trailed down her side.

“About what?” she breathed out, leaning in to him.

“That’s more like it, mhuirnín,” he said as they made their way back to the bedroom, removing articles of clothing from each other as they went.

The bed hit her naked back as she let him push her onto it and cover her body with his. She felt his firm erection pressed against her abdomen, and she pushed her pelvis up against him as her thighs circled his hips, clamping down on either side.

He took her right breast in his hand, gently covering it with his palm and rolling her exposed nipple between two fingers. She let out a sharp cry as sparks flew through her. A rush of wetness pooled between her legs as he pressed himself against her sex. She moved her body to try to take him inside her, needing to feel him, but he pulled away each time she got close.

“Not yet, mhuirnín,” he instructed, before pressing his lips against hers, pushing his tongue inside her mouth.

She let her tongue dance with his, and writhed on the bed beneath him as one of his hands cradled her head and the other left her breast and moved down to her slick center. His fingers moved in small circles over her nub, and she moaned into his mouth as her body trembled. Slowly, he slid one finger, then two, inside her. Curving up, they found the spot that made her entire body tense and pulse.

His mouth pressed more firmly against hers, muting her moans as his fingers moved at a faster, steady rhythm inside her swollen core. She arched into him and he continued to thrust, adding a third finger inside her as his thumb clamped down and massaged her nub.

“Rory!” Her muscles tightened as her body pulled at his fingers and exploded around him. She shook against him, panting as she pressed her face into his neck.

He didn’t wait for her to come down before he spread her legs wider and easily sank into her. She moaned deliriously, feeling like she was about to climax all over again as she clung to him, her arms wrapped around his neck. She moved with him, feeling him sliding in and out of her quickly, then slowly, then quickly again as he experimented with her.

“Fuck, Clare, you’re so perfect,” he growled into her ear before biting her shoulder. She yelped with the pain, only to find that she wanted more. He obliged her desires as his speed picked up, and she was sure that she was going to be sore in the morning. She didn’t mind, though, as she pushed her hips up to meet his until he grabbed them and held her still while his final thrust buried him as deep as he could go. His body shook against her as he groaned, and his eyes squeezed shut as she felt him pulsing inside her. Her body quickly mimicked his as his shudders pushed her over the edge again.

She moaned against him, crying out as he collapsed, both of them panting with exhaustion. He fell over onto his back next to her and she turned to curve into his side, pulling the blankets over their naked bodies. He was already breathing heavier as her arm fell across his chest and she buried her head into his shoulder. Sleep wasn’t far behind as the duo stayed wrapped in their embrace.