Chapter Eleven

The last day in Paris was a sad one for her; the city was just so beautiful that she couldn’t get over it. Caroline couldn’t even believe she had allowed Joshua to take her there. She had so much work waiting for her back home, but it had only been for a few days, so really no harm was done. She didn’t tell her design team the truth about where she was going because she didn’t want them to know that she had just skipped town with an old flame, especially since some of them knew about Mike. What a complication that was. She didn’t even know herself what she was doing, so having to try to explain it to someone else would be complicating and possibly embarrassing as well.

She had called Mike before she left for Paris to let him know she would be out of town for a few days. She told him they would need to talk when she returned. One way or another, she needed to make a decision and decide what man she wanted in her life; that was no easy decision, considering the two men.

Caroline and Joshua had flown to Paris almost immediately since he had a private jet of his own. She loved Paris; not only was it beautiful, but it was the fashion capital of the world. She loved shopping there—they always had such unique collections.

They had only been there for a few days, and the first one didn’t really count because they never left the room once, or even the bed. She had been terribly sore because of it, but it had all been worthwhile. The two of them weren’t big on sightseeing, but they spent most of their time lounging on the beach or in the pool that resided on the balcony of Joshua’s suite. It was luxurious, and she loved the chance to soak up some heat before she returned home; it had been a truly relaxing time away.

It wasn’t all beach time, however. She had done a massive amount of shopping, but what girl doesn’t? She didn’t just purchase clothing—she bought up yards of fabric for her designs and had them shipped back home. It was all on Joshua’s dime; he spoiled her rotten while they were away.

They were lounging by the pool, sipping champagne, and she couldn’t remember a time that she felt happier about her life; everything was going to plan. Joshua got up to check his messages, and she continued to sip on the decadent wine. She refused to check her messages because listening to any of them would have had her back on the jet and returning home. She had a hard time leaving her company in the hands of others, and if something went wrong, she wanted to be there. So she just made sure to check in periodically through text messages; she noticed when she did that Mike had sent her two messages. They were simple messages, asking how her trip was coming along. She quickly sent him a text asking if he wanted to have dinner with her when she returned to the city; she needed to have a talk with him.

When she turned from her messages, she found Joshua standing behind her. He didn’t look happy to find her on her phone, which she found odd since he regularly checked in with his office.

“I ordered us in some food so we could spend our last night relaxing. I hope that’s okay with you.”

“Sure, of course.”

“Was that work?” he said, nodding towards her phone.

“They are just anxious to get me back in the office; that’s all. I can’t blame them. Like I said, it’s a busy time for us.”

Joshua was watching her intently, and she wondered if he believed her. Finally, he smiled and leaned in for a kiss. He claimed her tongue and roughly squeezed her breasts. She moaned and started rubbing his cock through his shorts. They had taken a day off sex because she had been so sore, but she was ready to take him in again. In fact, he was all she could think about at that moment.

Their hands were everywhere while their tongues mingled, and she felt herself grow wet with yearning. She wanted him inside her immediately.

“Fuck me, Joshua, right now. That is if you can catch me.”

She peeled off her bikini top and bottom, ran to the pool and jumped in. She giggled as she reached the surface, and he just plunged in after her. She swam to the shallow end and waited by the edge of the pool. He quickly found her, pushing her up against the wall. His mouth was on hers eagerly, and she moaned loudly, aching all over her body. Caroline wrapped her legs around his waist, and he entered her hard, pumping into her fast. Her body exploded with pleasure, and she wrapped her legs around him tighter. He bit into her neck, causing her to cry out with pleasure.

“Oh Joshua, your cock feels so good.”

“You’re all mine baby.”

“Oh, it feels so good.”

He plunged inside her deep until she came, arching her back into the edge of the pool. He continued to pump inside her harder still until he came.

Exhausted, she leaned into his neck and hugged him with her arms. He made her feel incredible, their chemistry just made their sex life so much better.

He pulled apart from her and said, “Let's go see if the food is here.” His grin made her laugh, and she climbed out of the pool with him. As she toweled herself dry, she watched as he went back into the room to check on the room service. She felt so satisfied, she could have fallen asleep right then and there.

When she returned to the room, her phone was buzzing, and when she went to check it she found that Mike had responded. She suddenly felt guilty for being there with Joshua when Mike was so into her. But she wasn’t doing anything wrong; she had never slept with Mike, and they were nowhere near being exclusive. She just wanted to make sure she was making the best decision for herself, and she had no idea that Joshua would walk back into her life. She had assumed that it was over between them when she had left Africa. Since then, he had made some huge romantic gestures that she just couldn’t ignore. She read his message, noting that he agreed to dinner and would pick her up. She put her phone away and returned to Joshua.

They had dined on lobster and salads while they laid in bed talking about everything under the sun. They were talking about the future and what that meant for each of them. It was nice for Caroline to catch up with Joshua, she hadn’t realized how much she had missed him until now. Joshua had ordered in strawberries and champagne, and Caroline dined on them while they talked. They always laughed so easily together—that was one thing that was never forced between them; they always had such a good time together. She never struggled to find good men in her life, though. Some of her friends had some incredible disaster stories, and yet she never did. She regularly met good men that treated her well; in that way, she was very blessed. Falling in love was a pretty big deal for her and being happy as well. If she had those things, then the rest was just a bonus for her. But that was what everyone wanted, right? To be happy and fall in love with an incredible person?

As they laid side by side in the bed, she nuzzled up next to him and sipped her champagne. Now was as good as any time to feel him out about the future. She needed to make a decision about her life, and knowing where Joshua’s head was at would be a great help.

“So, Joshua what are we doing here?”

“What do you mean?”

She chuckled. “I’m asking you if you see this, I mean us, going anywhere.”

“Oh man, are we having the talk? Really?”

Surprised, she looked up at him, confused by his tone. “What’s going on Joshua? Is there a problem with discussing us?”

“Well, I’m just a little surprised you’re bringing it up right now. We’re having a good time; why do we have to define it right now.”

Her stomach felt like there was a piece of lead inside of it. She wasn’t sure if she should continue the talk; it was already going so poorly. “I hope you’re joking.”

“Well, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Okay, so explain yourself. How did you mean it?”

He looked down at her, and she didn’t see anything good in his face. She was a little shocked because she believed that all his grand gestures had really meant something. But it looked as if his playboy ways had not disappeared, and now she was paying the price for it. She had been stupid to think that he wanted more than another roll in the hay.

“I just have a lot going on right now, especially with the trial coming up. I’m not even sure what’s going on with that, yet. I don’t think it’s a good time to get serious with anyone. I love spending time with you, Caroline. Don’t get me wrong, it’s just I don’t see any reason why we need to rush things. I hope that doesn’t upset you.”

She wasn’t sure how to take his answer at all. It wasn’t like she was expecting to be engaged or anything like that, but she doubted that either of their lives were so hectic that an exclusive relationship was out of the question. The fact that he had come looking for her at all, it should have meant something, and it turned out that it was just him showing off and nothing more. All she could do was stare at him speechless; she didn’t have any words to explain to him how she was feeling. He looked slightly alarmed, probably because he realized she didn’t like a thing coming out of his mouth.

“Sweetheart, I’m not trying to upset you. It’s not that I don’t want more because I do. I just don’t see why we can’t take things slow for now. I’ve never been in a long-term relationship before, and it’s a lot to take in.”

“Seriously, how old are you?”

His mouth dropped open. “What?”

“The way you are talking, it’s like you are some college student not wanting to make a commitment to his college gal. It’s ridiculous that you are afraid of commitment at your age.” The words stung him, but she didn’t care. It was ridiculous that she even had to hear these things, and she had a sudden urge to slap him across the face. She had invested more than her body on that trip; she had allowed him inside her heart, and for what? So that they could take it slow because it was a lot for him to take in? It was ridiculous. It certainly was a lot to take in, and she wasn’t sure why she had allowed herself to get close to him again. Why? So she could be hurt all over again. She should have left Joshua in the past where he belonged.

“It’s clear to me, Joshua, that we are not on the same page, and we are looking for different things. Had I known how you felt, I would not have come to Paris with you. I thought when you came looking for me that it meant something special.”

“It was special. What exactly do you want here? A ring?”

His words stung like he had slapped her, and she felt her blood boiling. How dare he treat her as if she had unreasonable expectations.

“Don’t let your ego get too out of control, there, Joshua. I wasn’t looking for a ring. I just thought that I mattered to you.”

He was speechless, and she felt a small victory.

“I no longer feel comfortable spending the night with you. Can you arrange for another room?”

“Are you serious? Caroline, please.”

“Don’t Joshua. Just make the arrangements.”

“Caroline, don’t you think you might be overreacting a little bit? Come on.”

“Joshua, it’s pretty simple. We want different things. I’m sorry; I don’t want to continue seeing you after tonight. You may want to take things slow, but I’m ready for something with some staying power.”

His mouth formed a thin line, and he got up to make a call to the front desk. She started packing her things so she wouldn’t have to come and collect them the next morning. She quickly dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, knowing someone would be arriving to collect her bags. She felt sad inside but didn’t know what else to do—she wanted more, and he wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t say a word to her, and she knew it was eating him up inside at the thought of her sleeping apart from him. She knew the very thought probably made him insane.

“I’ll meet you in the lobby in the morning so we can catch our flight.”

He nodded just as the elevator opened into the penthouse. An attendant came in and collected her things. She took one more look at Joshua before heading to her new room. Changing rooms, however, didn’t make anything any easier—she didn’t sleep a wink that night.

Back in New York, Caroline was unpacking from her trip, feeling very uneasy about everything. It was important for her to have everything unpacked before she began her evening as she hated coming back to disorganization. She had dinner plans with Mike, and she was torn up about it, confusion mixing her thoughts up into a mess. Originally, she had planned on letting Mike down easy while she planned a future with Joshua, but that had crashed and burned with very little warning. She didn’t understand how she could have been so wrong about Joshua, that she had read the situation so wrong. She thought he had returned for her because he couldn’t live without her but that hadn’t been the case at all. Nothing had turned out the way she had envisioned it. She couldn’t believe he had gone to so much trouble just to have a little fun. But she supposed for a billionaire it probably didn’t seem like such a big deal to whisk a girl off to Paris or send her expensive presents. Caroline looked too much into it, and that was her own fault. She had misunderstood what he wanted from her, and it made her feel like a fool.

Sleeping apart from Joshua that night had been devastating. The few days they had spent together had been incredible, and she didn’t understand why he didn’t want more from her. She had cried herself to sleep that night wondering if she was making a big mistake. In the end, she had expected him to come looking for her, to apologize, and he never came. It was his decision, and she had to accept that and move on.

That wasn’t where the torture had ended, unfortunately. She had to see him the next day and fly back home with him. It was not a short flight, and it had been incredibly awkward having him there with her as neither of them spoke to each other the entire time. Joshua clearly had a lot on his mind, but she would have been okay to speak to him and remain civil, but it appeared as if he didn’t want anything to do with her now that she had walked out on him the night before.

Either way, he was upset with her, and she didn’t think that she did anything wrong. She just wanted something more for her future, and he wasn’t willing to give that to her. When they did finally land at the airport, there were two limos waiting instead of one, and they went their separate ways without another word to each other. She cried again on the way home, feeling more lost than ever.

Since then, she had been a jumbled mess and had even considered canceling her dinner date with Mike. She wasn’t really in any right mind to see anyone or make a decent decision. In the end, however, she decided against canceling on him since she hadn’t been very fair to him recently. She had no intention of having sex with him but needed to talk to him and see how she felt around him.

When the time came to go, she dressed quickly and headed down to the lobby of her building where she knew he would be waiting to pick her up.