Chapter 14

Angelina

There were too many people in my life pulling me in a million different directions; I just couldn’t take it a second longer. My mother believed that Dean was brainwashing me into leaving Hollywood and starting a new reality show with him. My agent believed I was giving up my goals of working in film full-time. Even my sister thought I was changing because of Dean, and she wasn’t sure it was for the better.

I couldn’t argue with them all. The press was hounding me about my fall and my cut lip so I talked my mother into airing the unedited footage of the incident right away. I told Jeremy that I was going to be posting a cute picture for Instamatch to pull the contract to an end a little early. Then I asked my sister if she would come crash with me in New York until the filming of my movie was done.

The picture of my empty bed went out to Instagram with a caption, “You can find any type of guy to sleep in your sheets, but only a really good one will fill your fantasies. Instamatch, thanks for bringing a good one into my life.”

My hope was that people would understand that Dean had nothing to do with me getting hurt. He was a good man, such a good man that I didn’t want to ruin things with him by being a basket case. When I had read those tweets on his page, the first emotion I felt was betrayed. He had been talking about how much he didn’t like Twitter and Instagram, yet he was clearly posting plenty on there. The betrayal feeling was hard for me. It ran deep, and I had a long history of men using me.

For a couple of days, I even thought that maybe Dean had been using me. But he wasn’t, and I knew it. When the two of us were together, it was genuine; there was no way he could have been pretending.

“How do you know he wasn’t using you?” Jeremy asked me.

“I guess you can never know for sure. But how do I know you aren’t using me?”

Jeremy was silent as he contemplated my question. It was a realistic question, though, how do any of us know if someone is using us or being sincere? At some point, we just have to trust our gut and be genuine ourselves. At some point, we have to live our life and be the best we can be. We have to surround ourselves with people we believe to be good and just go from there.

“I’m there for you even when things aren’t going well,” Jeremy said after he thought about my question for a long time.

“We fight, yet we both are looking out for each other,” I added.

“I’m not always right, and you accept that.”

“I’m not always right, and you tell me like it is.” I laughed.

“So you really think this Dean guy is a good guy?” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah, I do. I don’t know if now is the right time for me to get wrapped up in something with a good guy, though. You know how much I need to keep filming roles. It’s going to take months to get this movie into theaters; I’ve got to have others on their way as soon as possible.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’re giving up the guy for your career?”

“Maybe, that’s the way it has to be right now.”

“Maybe.”

It took another ten days for the filming to finish up on my movie, and then my sister and I headed back to Los Angeles. She had become close friends with Luke, and I tried to squeeze in a few questions about Dean when I could, but he wouldn’t give me any details. Luke just told me I should call Dean and check in.

When ten days goes by and you don’t talk to someone that you’ve slept with, there’s really no going back. It wasn’t like I could call him up and just apologize for ignoring him for the last two weeks. No, I figured we were just going to have to move on and go our separate ways.

As I flew back to Los Angeles, I kept thinking about Dean, though. I had seen that his Broadway show was picked up for another year, but speculations were that he was going to turn down the role and someone else was going to take over. What was he going to do then? I wondered to myself as I read through another industry article about the show.

The media attention around Dean and I had died down quite a bit. They had moved on to harassing the next big star on their list. Dean would just be another man in the list of men I had dated and been totally unsuccessful with. I hoped someday I’d have a nice long list of men who I’d failed with, but one that I finally was able to settle down with.

Dean would long be the guy who I let get away and I wondered about. The connection we had made me think that he might have been the one, but then again, if he had been the one, would he have been so easily pushed away?

I didn’t want to be one of those girls who pushed a guy away and then hoped he would come back for her. My intention really hadn’t been like that at all. I just needed some time to figure things out, and that’s what I took. Now, it seemed like a different time when Dean and I had met. I was searching for freedom from the life I had, and he was there waiting to hand me the keys to a new life.

The world just didn’t work like that. People didn’t just accidently find the man of their dreams or at least that was what I told myself when I rationalized why I wasn’t calling Dean. But I was back in Los Angeles, and it was time to get my hustle going again.

***

“I’ve got a meeting set up for you tomorrow morning,” Jeremy, said when he called me the following Sunday night.

“What is it for?”

“You’re going to do an audition. I’m not sure of the details because they are keeping it really hush-hush, but dress nice. It’s at eight o’clock on the Warner Bros. Studio lot.”

“Eight o’clock? Why do all these directors insist on forcing people to be at their best at the butt crack of dawn?”

“Get a good night’s sleep and be ready. This could be a huge part or a small one; you just never know. But a part in a Warner Bros. film is a step up for sure, any part is.”

I agreed to arrive looking refreshed and ready to read for any part they might have coming my way, and I did. I pulled into the Warner Bros. parking lot at exactly 7:45 a.m. with a full coffee in my stomach and a smile on my face. It was exciting to be invited to a big name studio, and I was going to do my best to show them I was ready for whatever role they might have in mind for me.

Jeremy was right; it didn’t matter if it was a small role or not because it was likely going to be a blockbuster film. The big movie studios didn’t put out many flops each year; they were pretty strategic about their filmmaking and were willing to put up some serious cash for big named actors.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn’t going to be the lead in any Warner Bros. film anytime soon. They would hire some fancy actress that had a long track record of bringing in ticket sales, and that was just fine by me. Maybe I could be the supporting best friend or something like that; that would be just fine with me.

My nerves started to hit me as I walked into the audition room and saw some of my idols sitting at a table in the front of the room. They were some of the biggest names in Hollywood filmmaking, and I had landed an audition. It was now up to me to prove to them that I would be the perfect actress for whatever role they were looking to fill.

“Hi, I’m Angelina Kent,” I said as I stood in the doorway.

“We know who you are sweetheart,” an older man said. I was pretty sure he was one of the studio executives by the fancy suit he was wearing.

“Here’s the script; I’ll have Bill read the male role for you,” the man said.

“Okay, so should I start now?” I asked.

I felt like a teenager who was auditioning for the school place. Nothing seemed normal to me, and I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. In the film industry, I was still very green under the collar, and it showed.

“Go ahead and read over the script first,” one of the men said.

From what I could gather, the scene was an emotional love scene between two characters. I hadn’t been prepared to be too emotional, but I was going to give it everything I had.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

I closed my eyes for a moment to help get into the character and then began reading the part. Bill, one of the men who were sitting at the table, read the male part. The two of us together were absolutely dreadful. It was my first read through, and I knew they would let me go again, but I wasn’t sure I could win them over after how badly I had just done.

“I’m sorry, can I do that again?” I asked.

The door behind me swung open quietly, and I didn’t dare to turn around and look to see who it was. Everyone at the table seemed amused, though, and as they watched the person walk into the room and stand next to me, I couldn’t help turning a little to see who it was.

“Your co-star,” the man in the suit said. “Dean, can you read through this scene with Angelina please.”

“Of course. It would be my pleasure,” Dean said as he grabbed the script from Bill and pulled up a chair in front of me.

My jaw was open and probably hanging close to the ground as I stood there watching Dean. He looked like a movie star with his black leather jacket on and a little bit of a scruffy beard forming. My heart skipped a million beats.

Dean didn’t hesitate at all and quickly went into reading his part from the script.

“You can’t leave me, Nell; I love you, and that’s enough for us to fix this.”

“Robert, it’s not enough. My whole family was killed, and you expect me to just fall into your arms and live happily ever after. Well, that’s now how the real world works,” I read, and this time much better than my first read through.

“Listen here, I said I love you, and that’s that,” Dean said loudly as he stood up and pushed his chair out of the way. “What kind of woman tries to run away from the man who loves her?”

“Dean … I mean Robert. I’m not running. I’ve got responsibilities.”

Dean smiled at my mess up, and it took everything I could muster not to smile back at him. I wasn’t sure if he was the one who had landed me this audition or if Jeremy really had made it happen, but I still wanted to show everyone that I was the perfect actress for the position.

“Fine, leave then.”

“That’s it. You fight hard for me and then you’re fine with me leaving? Good riddance,” I said as I turned to walk away.

Dean grabbed me and pulled me back to him roughly. So roughly that I slipped and fell right into his arms. His eyes looked down at mine, and his arms stayed strongly wrapped around me.

“I’m not letting you go, and that’s all there is to it,” he said and then leaned down and kissed me.

He wasn’t kissing me as an actor in a movie, though. Dean Morrison was kissing me as a man who loved a woman. I kissed him right back because I loved him too. It didn’t matter how long we had known each other, I knew he was the one, and it scared the hell out of me. But being scared was when the greatest of things happened.

“Cut,” the director hollered. “Besides that little adlib at the end, I think that was pretty damn good. Would you two excuse us while we talk this over?”

“Sure,” Dean said and pulled me out into the hallway.

“Dean Morrison, did you just kiss me?” I said firmly as I tried to pretend like I was angry.

“Damn right I did, and I’d like to do it again.”

“So you got a part in this movie?” I asked as I tried to change the subject.

“Yep, sounds like a good one too. Well, if they cast the right woman in the lead female role.”

“What about our age difference?” I asked.

“Hell, you know Hollywood. Women are supposed to look young as hell even when they are older. I think it will be fine.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you.”

“It’s alright,” he said as he moved in closer to me. “I did think about you a lot.”

“Really? How much is a lot?”

“At least twice a day,” he joked.

“Okay guys, you can come back in,” the director yelled. “Okay, we would like to have you play the lead role in The Outside Hearts with Dean. What do you think about that Angelina?”

I stood there stunned for a minute and looked at Dean and then back to the men behind the desk. This was what I had been waiting for, my big break, and I’d get to do it with Dean. There really wasn’t anything better that I could possibly imagine.

“Yes,” I said as tears welled up in my eyes.

“So are we Facebook official?” Dean laughed.

“Oh yeah, you two are official. Go ahead and announce,” the director added. “We look forward to working with you both.

As Dean and I made it out of the studio, we were surrounded by paparazzi. It seemed totally odd to me that they would have access to the studio lot until I turned back and saw the bigwigs from the film standing there and smiling. If they wanted to cause some commotion online, then putting the two of us in a film together was certainly a good way of doing that.

“Did you two really meet on a dating app?” one of the men asked politely.

All of the paparazzi were politely standing there and filming us. It was a delightful change compared to what had been going on in New York. Perhaps because they had been invited there, the photographers were being nicer, or maybe Los Angeles paparazzi were just more easygoing.

“Yep, we met on Instamatch,” Dean said before I had a chance to answer.

“Do you recommend the app for others to find love?” another man asked.

I reached out and grabbed Dean’s hand and squeezed it so he would give me a chance to talk. I had thought a lot about the app and about the love I had found with Dean.

“You can use phone apps, online websites, or traditional ways to meet the person of your dreams. But no matter what happens, it’s always going to be up to you to make that relationship work. I recommend people do what feels right to them as they search for their perfect match.”

In the background, we heard the studio executive as he announced that Dean and I would be starring in an upcoming blockbuster together. It seemed like the perfect combination of marketing and teasing for the public.

“So are you two officially a couple?”

“What do you think?” Dean said as he dipped me down dramatically and kissed me.