Chapter Twenty-Nine

Another three days passed of unanswered text and calls. I visited the garage when I worked to see if he was there, but Doug said he took time off to be with his mom. I fought going to the house, feeling it crossed a line of the family’s privacy, but I was no longer of sound mind and body. The need to see him far outranked any common sense or decorum.

My stomach danced in my throat as my jeep rolled up to the house. The day was overcast, the sky turbulent with lightning and rain, only suffocating the air. It was the kind of day you begged for rain, to give relief to the sticky, stagnant heat.

My pulse raced, my legs hesitant to walk the steps to the porch. The house held good and horrific memories like a picture album, all of them running together in my head like a movie. Ones of Colton, Hunter, and now Julia.

“Big girl pants,” I muttered to myself, grabbing the flowers I brought with me. The deciding factor for letting myself visit was that I was coming to check on Julia. It was a soft lie, though I did want to see how she was.

Hands trembling, I rang the doorbell. My ears pulsed with the sound of footsteps, then the click of the door. It swung open.

Hunter stood there in loose shorts and a T-shirt, his scruff and hair cut shorter, making him look less boyish and more rugged. I felt as though he’d punched me in the chest, my air coming up short.

His gaze moved over me like fingers, his jaw grinding, leaning against the doorframe.

“What are you doing here?” Cold. Callous.

“I-I, umm…” I held up the bouquet. “I came to see how your mother was doing.”

He folded his arms, his attention still crawling over my skin. “She’s doing better. She’s sleeping right now. But I’ll tell her you stopped by.”

“Oh.” I blinked, disappointment inflating my lungs. “Okay. Thanks.”

He took the flowers from me, his other hand gripping the handle, ready to shut it.

“Hunter Browning Harris,” a woman’s voice clipped, swinging my head to the figure behind him. Julia stood there, her brown hair loose, wearing a simple long-flowing summer dress, no makeup on. She looked tired, but also young and completely un-Julia-like. She was a beautiful woman, but I had never seen her without all her designer clothes and masks. “Is this how I raised you to treat guests?”

“Didn’t really raise me,” Hunter mumbled under his breath so only I could hear.

“Jaymerson.” Julia glided up to the doorway and moved Hunter out of her way. She gripped my hands, her long, billowing sleeves sliding up enough to see the bandages wrapped around her wrists. “I was hoping I’d get to see you. I asked Hunter to invite you up, but he said you were busy with work.”

My gaze snapped to Hunter. His eyes dropped, not meeting mine.

“Come in, please.” She tugged me over the threshold, not giving me a choice. This was not the Julia I had known. She had always been cold and aloof with me, subtly telling me she didn’t think I was good enough for her prized son. This Julia gripped my hands like she never wanted me to slip away. She brought me to the formal living room sofa and sat down. When I lowered myself next to her, she grasped my fingers, her throat bobbing.

“There are not enough apologies or gratitude in the world. Hunter told me you saved my life.” Her lashes fluttered, her nose wiggling like she was trying not to cry. “The embarrassment I feel. The shame at what you saw and went through because of me.” She gulped, her cheeks reddening with emotion. “I have been in a bad place for a long, long time. Colton’s death brought it all to the surface, and instead of being strong for my other son, I crumbled. I could not see or feel happiness. I’d pin a smile to my face, but I was empty inside. The divorce…” She let go of my hands to wipe her face. “You can’t stack weight on something that is hollow inside without it breaking.”

Julia’s brutal revelation stunned me.

“I have a long way to go after an incident like mine.” She stressed the word.

“Mom, you have to say it.” Hunter walked in closer to us, his arms folded. “You know what the therapist said. The more you brush it off and downplay it…”

“Yes, Hunter.” Julia let her head dip a little, catching my eye. “Hunter has been going with me to my therapy sessions. He’s constantly on my case.”

A warmth filled me as they exchange looks.

“After I tried to commit suicide.” Julia’s hands fisted, her face flinching painfully at the words. I could see why it was important to say it and not hide it in the closet and pretend it didn’t happen. “I feel like, for the first time in years, I can breathe again. That there is light at the end of the tunnel. It will be a lot of hard work. Some days because of Colton’s death it still feels like I will never find happiness again, but for my other son I want to try. What I’ve put him through… I want to be the mother he’s always deserved.”

Tears choked my esophagus, my hands taking Julia’s this time. “I am so glad.”

“Thank you, but I will never forgive myself for what I put you guys through. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that. Not after all you’ve been through as well.” Pain ran down her cheeks in salty trails. “I am so sorry, Jaymerson.”

Without a thought, I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tight. Never once did I dream not only would I want to hug Julia, but I would feel deep compassion and love for her. That night was one of the worst in a string of bad incidents for me, but if this was what it took to open her eyes, for her to see Hunter… then how could I ever hate her for it?

“Thank you for saving my life. For giving me a second chance,” she whispered in my ear before pulling away, letting out a huge exhale. “I still get exhausted very easily. I’m going to excuse myself to go rest.”

“Yes, of course.” I stood with her, taking some of her weight, before Hunter caught her arm.

“I’m fine.” She patted his hand. “Stay down here with Jayme.”

He nodded but watched her like a hawk as she climbed the stairs.

“Oh, and thank you for the flowers, Jayme. They are beautiful. Make sure Hunter puts them in some water,” she said over her shoulder before disappearing up the final step to the second story.

The moment Julia disappeared, the strain in the room multiplied. My fingers slid my necklace back and forth nervously. I peered over at Hunter.

His eyes were rooted on the charm pinched between my fingers. His head swung away, pointing toward the kitchen, strangling the flowers. “Vase... water,” he mumbled so low I only caught the two words. He took off, marching out of the room like he had been given a timed mission.

My feet followed him to the kitchen as though I was tethered to him. A pile of flat boxes leaned against a wall with packing paper, and tape sat beside them.

“What’s this?” I touched the boxes, a lump forming in my throat.

“She’s selling the house.” He searched through the cupboards until he found one of the many vases they had stashed away. “The moment the divorce is final, she’s moving to a place near her sister.” Colton had told me once that his Aunt Jessica lived somewhere in Georgia, not far from where Julia grew up.

“She’s moving away? From? Cody?

“I told her to.” He slammed the cupboard. “Until she’s better. She needs a fresh start. Get back on her feet without all the heartache, ghosts, gossip, and judgment of this town.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know how to respond. I knew Hunter had no real ties to this house. It never was a home, but it was still where he and his brother grew up. Where memories of Colton still lived. His room was still a shrine.

“We’ve all agreed she can’t heal if she stays here.” He filled the vase with water, every muscle in his body tight, drawing a huge line in the sand.

“Your dad?”

Hunter scoffed, a frown deepening on his forehead. “He already has a place near the woman he’s been cheating with for ten years. The façade is gone, so he no longer needs to pretend they aren’t together.”

I didn’t say it, but we both knew Julia was better off without that jerk. Because I had seen Julia as my future self if Colton had never died and what my life would have been, I felt a weight lift off my soul thinking Julia would find her happiness. Like me, she would do it on her own, but the man standing before me had been the guiding force for both of us. The person who drove us to want to change.

“Hunter…” I gulped, my fingers dropping away from the cardboard, twisting to him.

“Thanks for the flowers and stopping by. Meant a lot to my mom.” He cut me off, his gaze threatening, telling me not to continue.

My throat clogged with marbles of agony, feeling any chance for us slip through my fingers.

Noticing I wasn’t moving, Hunter strode forward, motioning his hand. “I’ll walk you out.”

My teeth clamped, but I followed him out; my heart spread out onto the floor, an empty cavity filling my chest.

Lightning crackled and the clouds rolled with turbulence when we stepped outside. The weather reflected the pain in my soul.

“Please, Hunter. Let me explain…” I turned to him when we reached my car.

“Explain what?” He tipped his head to the side, his timbre and gaze taciturn. “There’s nothing to explain.”

“Then why do I feel there are a million things to clarify? To say to you.”

“Maybe at one time.” He opened the door, nodding for me to get into my car. “But not anymore.”

“What? Why?” Desperation rang like bells off my tongue.

“Bye, Jayme.” He let go of the handle, circling around back for the house, walking away from me.

Grief submerged me under its suffocating weight. My heart clawed across the pavement to reach him. A thousand feelings and thoughts ran through me, but only one dominated and rose to the surface with fortitude.

A pregnant drop of rain splattered on my forehead, startling me out of my reprieve.

Screw him! I thought, my feet moving before I realized it.

“Fuck you, Hunter!” I stomped across the driveway that separated us, anger burning my muscles. “You don’t get to end it like that.”

“Excuse me?” He whirled around, his eyes flashing, his shirt soaking in the liquid falling from the sky.

“You never want to see me again? Fine!” It wasn’t fine. “But you will hear me out.”

Lightning cracked across the sky.

He stomped back to me, his dimple twitching with anger. “I don’t get to end it like that?” He growled, his body kept coming, looming over mine, making me take a few steps back. His aloof façade shattered in front of me, fury blazing his eyes, his shoulders tightening around his neck.

“Did you give me a choice when you walked away from me?” he spat, still moving forward, his bare feet knocking into my chucks.

“We both decided that!” I shoved at his chest, the rain pelting my skin and hair, sliding down my face.

“Did we?” His nose flared, pushing back. “You had already decided way before we talked. You dictated my life, who I was supposed to be with… all to make it easier for you to leave.” He shook his head. “So, yes, I can end it without your input. Especially because there is nothing to end.” He started to move away from me.

“Don’t act like I was being silly. No one could watch you with Krista and Cody and not feel it.” I yelled back, licking the rain off my mouth. “I’m sorry if for once I put myself first… if I didn’t want to follow you around like a puppy. That following my dreams came before yours.”

His chest puffed up, the rain sticking to his skin. “It’s not because you went to Italy or followed your dreams. Jesus, I want nothing more for you. I want you to have it all, Jayme.” His arms flung out. “When you walked out of the room, it broke me… I was hurt and angry.”

“Broke you?” My mouth dropped. “Really? Because it looked like you got over me quite quickly.” My mind flashed back to the night I saw him win the race, a woman’s arms around him, kissing him.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Veronica?” I wiped my face. “I saw you! Only weeks after I left! You two making out on TV. Yeah, that was awesome to watch. Then there were the times seeing Krista and Cody with you at the races.” Hurt and anger tightened my mouth. “And every time after that, Krista was there, the commentator talking about her being your girlfriend.”

“And you believed it all, just like the rumors about me in high school. Without even asking.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” I exclaimed. “You even told me you guys were together. Did you sleep with her?”

“Did you sleep with your Italian?”

I jerked back.

“How long did it take for you to move on to him?” He stomped back to me, his eyes roaming over mine with spite, taking in my silence. “That’s what I thought.”

Luca was the last one in the string of men I tried to use to get over Hunter. It only made me feel guilty, because standing before Hunter, I realized none of it worked.

“I’ve fucked a lot of people since you left. All in trying to forget you.”

I flinched at his words, mostly because I had done the same, but hearing him admit it still ripped my heart.

“But clearly it did shit… because here we are.” He scoffed, running a hand over his face, the rain pouring down, lightning zigzagging across the sky. “I’m done being broken. In everything. Go back to your boyfriend, Jayme. Just leave me alone.” He stepped away.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” My declaration halted his feet, his eyes snapping to mine. “He left the day after your birthday. After seeing me with you that night.” I licked my mouth. “He knew I didn’t love him… not like I love you. Like I’ve always loved you.”

Hunter inhaled sharply, his gaze reproachful.

“You assumed as well. I broke up with him in Italy because he deserved better. Someone who was capable of loving him. My heart was already taken.” I tucked my soaking hair behind my ears, not feeling anything besides Hunter’s eyes on me. “I may have left the day in Denver, but no matter what I did, what I tried, what I told myself, I have never stopped loving you, Hunter. Not. For. A. Single. Moment.”

Anguish slipped over his face for a second before he barreled for me. His hands clasping the sides of my face, his body slamming into mine. He pulled me to him, his mouth crashing down on mine. The instant his lips touched mine, everything detonated inside of me, desire whooshing through every vein.

Desperate. Violent.

My need for him burned along my spine and between my thighs, igniting the need to be closer. I groaned as his tongue met mine, deepening the kiss.

“Jayme.” His hands curled under my ass, pulling me up. My legs wrapped around him, my back crashing against the jeep, flaring more desire through me.

A streak of lightning overhead amplified the crackling energy between us. My car door still open, Hunter tossed me on the seat, our mouths never parting. He roughly grabbed the back of my head, pressing his firmness between my thighs, spinning my head with painful yearning.

I ached, rubbing against him.

“Fuck… Jayme.” His fingers dug into my scalp, tugging off my tank, the sodden fabric slapping against the pavement as it hit the ground, a hand sliding under my bra covering my breast. “Tell me to stop now.”

Oh hell no.

I peered out my windshield. The pouring rain and tree blocked the car from view of the house. Not that I cared. Nothing would have impeded me. My need for him overrode anything else.

“Don’t stop.” My hands skimmed under his shirt, gliding over his bare chest, greedy to feel every inch of his skin, even more muscular and built since his days on tour. “Please.” My mouth caught his before my fingers ripped off his shirt, joining mine on the ground with a smack.

Feeling his hands on me, him throbbing against my leg, I became more reckless, desire consuming any logical thought, my hands shoving at his shorts.

“Wait.” He broke from my mouth.

“What? No.” My legs wrapped tighter around him, my eyes wide with anxiety.

His hands curled around my butt, picking me up, his head knocking against mine. “Believe me. Nothing is going to stop me from being inside you.”

Heat flushed in my cheeks as he moved us across the driveway to the garage to his truck parked on the side of the garage, opposite of Julia’s room. He flipped down the tailgate.

“You know how long I’ve fantasized about this?” He dropped me on the lip. “We never got to finish that night, did we?”

“No. We didn’t.” I inched backward as he followed me into the bed of the truck, crawling between my legs, laying me back as he climbed over me. His mouth seized mine with a new fierceness as he unclasped my bra and tossed it to the side. This time there was no lake for my clothes to sink in, but the rain cooled our heated skin, slipping between our lips as our mouths claimed each other.

Tugging off my shorts, my body trembled with missing him, of longing for him to be the guy making me ache with need. His hands and mouth made me feel as though I were exploding, making me moan as electricity fired up every nerve he touched.

My hands shoved at his shorts, pushing his boxer briefs down his legs along with them, my hand finding him.

Hunter hissed, moving with me as I stroked him, his elbows at my head, his teeth sinking into my lip, tugging at it. “Shit,” he muttered against my mouth, drawing back. “I don’t have anything on me.”

The thought of ending this prickled panic at the back of my throat.

“I’m on the pill.” It was something I started immediately in Italy, not taking any chances.

“I’ve never had sex without a condom. I’m clean.”

“Me too.” So many things had come between us, it would be amazing to have sex without barriers. “Please, Hunter.” My nails sank into his ass, pulling him down on me. “I need to feel you.”

“Fuck.” He growled. “I want to take my time, but…”

“Next time.” I bowed into him, biting at his neck. “Or maybe the time after.”

A grin tugged at the side of his mouth, his eyes glinting with desire.

“Now, Hunter.” My heart raced with necessity, my lungs gasping at the feel of him nudging between my thighs, my body ready for his.

Raw hunger drove his mouth against mine. He lifted himself up enough to thrust in, a cry breaking from my mouth, back bowing under the onslaught of pleasure. I couldn’t breathe or speak, my body trembling under him.

Oh. My. God.

“Holy. Fuck.” He paused for a moment, staring down at me before he moved, sending flames of pleasure up my spine. Eagerly I responded, meeting every drive with my own, unable to stay quiet.

Rain plummeted down on us, slicking our skin as we moved with each other.

Until this moment I hadn’t realized how different sex felt with him than had it felt with others. He had ruined me for all other men the first time, but now my body truly understood the difference, and it wouldn’t want anything but him.

Ever.