Bray
AFTER THE DINER had emptied and Scarlet was putting chairs on top of tables, I stood and did the same. She paused and watched me for a moment. I grinned and continued. She left me to do finish, then began vacuuming the floors so she could mop them.
Gasoline walked in once, but turned and walked back out. Scarlet didn’t seem to notice and I knew he was disappointed. He wanted her attention. I was happy she didn’t even have to pretend not to care. We had enough to work through. Another guy would have made it harder. Not that I wouldn’t have fought for her and fucking won, because I would have. I was just glad it wasn’t an obstacle. I didn’t want to focus on drama shit with another guy when I knew Scarlet had a lifetime of damage to heal from. The reminder of all I’d read made me feel ill again. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath
I knew grabbing her and holding her while I demand she work through this—to cry, wail, hit me, all of the things I wanted to see her do—weren’t the way to handle it. Even I knew that much. I was pretty damn sure once she knew I’d read her diary she was going to be furious. Figuring out how to break that to her without her shoving me out of her life was important. Not that she could get rid of me, but fighting to stay would only make this harder.
“I’m headed back to the house,” the older lady announced as she walked into the dining room from the kitchen. Once this is mopped, you two go on. I reckon y’all got things to discuss that I hope ends in kissin’. Diesel will handle all of the back. No need to help him tonight, Scarlet.”
Scarlet glanced at me before turning to her boss. “Thanks, Ethel. But are you sure? I don’t mind staying to help.”
Ethel waved her hand and tsked. “Go home, child. This man has been waiting on you all evening.”
Scarlet finally nodded. “Okay.”
Ethel then looked at me. “You,” she pointed. “This is your last chance. You leave our girl upset, crying, or cursing folks out again and I’m not letting you near this place. It’s time you do what needs to be done.”
The woman was right of course. “Cursing people out?” I asked instead of agreeing.
Ethel nodded. “Yes! Told Diesel right off. Let him have it good, then she tried to walk out and leave herself. She was fit to be tied when you left. I ain’t got time for that drama except in my soaps I watch. Only place all that belongs.”
Scarlet had her head down, shaking it quickly. Her cheeks were slightly pink again. I held back my chuckle. I liked that she’d cursed at Diesel. He deserved it. I had no idea what the fuck he’d said, but I figured he needed a good dressing down.
“Mop bucket is right in that closet, so is the mop. Why don’t you stop looking at her like you want to take a bite and get to mopping behind her as she vacuums. Then you two can be out of here faster.”
I liked that idea just fine. Without any more encouragement, I went to the closet and found exactly what she said I would.
“Go on now. Let him do it,” I heard her tell Scarlet.
There was some whispering, then the door closed behind Ethel.
I stopped filling the bucket with water and found Scarlet watching me. Her eyes full of questions, doubts, and fears. I hated that she looked at me like that, but what should I expect? She’d been let down her entire life. Neglected. Chosen last and not at all. I hadn’t been any better.
Even when we were together I hadn’t been able to be exclusive. I’d refused to allow my heart to be owned by a female. I had slept around and she’d stood back waiting for any attention I’d give her. I’d taken her for granted.
I fucking hated myself.
“You gonna vacuum?” I asked her.
She sighed, then nodded.
I wanted to say so many things but not here. Not when we more than likely had a listener at the door. Not when I couldn’t hold her and promise her forever. I knew my words weren’t going to be enough. She’d need actions. And even then it would take time. But I had all the time in the world. I’d prove to her she could depend on me.
We cleaned in silence. It wasn’t until it was finished and the things were put away that Scarlet turned to me. “Everything’s done,” she said simply.
“Ready to go?” I wanted to have her ride with me in my truck but I was loaded down and her diary was still in my front seat.
“Yes.”
“I’ll follow you,” I told her.
She glanced over my shoulder outside to my truck parked out front. “You bought that from Joe Kirk, didn’t you?”
“Yep. He had it for sale in his yard for about a month now.”
She kept staring at it a few more seconds then shifted her gaze back to me. “You bought a truck.” It wasn’t a question. It was more of a comment made in disbelief.
I closed the space between us and slipped my knuckle under her chin. “I’m staying wherever you are.”
The hope in her eyes was mixed with pain. I realized there had always been pain there behind every expression she had. Even when she smiled or laughed that had been there. No one ever noticed. Not Dixie. Not me.
Had she wanted us to see? Another question I needed an answer to but I wasn’t sure I could handle. Right now, my self-hatred was strong. Every action, every selfish decision I’d ever made concerning Scarlet haunted me. Was a lifetime long enough to make it right? I wasn’t sure it was possible. But damned if I wasn’t gonna try.
“I’ll see you at the trailer,” she said slowly. Even now I could see the uncertainty. As if she thought I might drive away. More shit I’d brought on myself.
I followed her out the front door and watched as she locked it behind her. I knew she was parked out back but she was purposely not going out that way to avoid Diesel. I’d have followed her if she had. She probably knew that. I wouldn’t fight with him. Didn’t matter what he said. My anger was solely concentrated on one group of people. I had nothing left for anyone else. Especially someone who saw that Scarlet was worth protecting.
She stopped at the sidewalk. “My car is around back.”
I stayed beside her. “I know.”
She waited a moment, then nodded her head at my truck. “You’re parked there.”
“I am. But if you think I’m not going to walk you to your car, then I’m an even bigger bastard than I was giving myself credit for.”
She scrunched her nose as if confused, then shrugged. When she started walking again I fell in step beside her. I could hear the silent questions churning in her mind. The questions wanted to burst out, but she was controlling them.
When we reached her car, I opened the door for her once she clicked the locks open from the remote in her hand. “I’ll see you in a few minutes,” I assured her then bent my head to press a kiss to her lips. A simple press of my mouth to hers. Nothing passionate or demanding. Just the connection. Promises unspoken.