Scarlet
IT WAS SILLY to think everyone knew what had happened between the Sutton twins and me, but it felt as if they did. I was sure many had heard about the night outside of Jack’s when Bray decided he would no longer watch me be with Brent. His decision had been as terrifying as it was thrilling. It shouldn’t have been thrilling, but Bray had made a move and claimed me. He’d never said he loved me, but he had called me his. I’d never been claimed. Most of my life I lived clinging to the only semblance of security I had. Afraid that at any moment it would be gone.
The ache that came with thoughts of Bray returned. We never had a chance to be happy and I knew we never would. Shaking my head to clear it, I scolded myself mentally. I’d come to the wedding to see Dixie. I was here to watch my best friend get married. When it was over I’d find her, congratulate her, tell her I loved her, and would be on my way. She didn’t need my drama spoiling her special day. It was the only reason I hadn’t gone to see her before she walked down the aisle.
I wasn’t going to give her something to worry about when she should be enjoying every moment of her important day. She’d planned it in her head a million times for as long as I had known her. Now her dream was coming true and it would be perfect. Asher would make sure of that.
“Haven’t seen you around. Where’ve you been?” Hannah Watson leaned forward from the row of seats behind me and whispered close to my ear. I’d noticed her when I sat down. The smile I gave her should have been enough. There was no reason for us to speak. We weren’t friends. I had a memory of her in the second grade laughing at me on parent’s day when I was the only child with no parent present. We had spent days preparing. Our teacher had us cook the meal we would feed them. All the time I knew my parents weren’t coming. I didn’t like Hannah since then, even if she had only been eight at the time. Besides why was she here?
I turned to look at her and respond politely when my eyes locked with Dallas Sutton’s. He was standing on the front porch and was staring directly at me. The smile on his face was genuine and I was sure his was the only smile I would receive from a Sutton boy today. He gave me a slight nod of his head to let me know he was pleased I had come.
If he hadn’t drove to Robertsdale this morning, I don’t know if I would have gotten the courage to be here. Something about knowing that one Sutton boy thought I should be here gave me the added nudge I needed. Reminded me of what was important.
I heard Hannah say something else and although I wasn’t sure what she was saying, I was reminded I hadn’t responded to her nosy ass comments. I broke eye contact with Dallas and focused on Hannah. “I moved,” was all I said trying to hold my tight smile. I turned back around not checking to see if Dallas was still there and if he was alone. They’d all know soon enough I was here.
The only person who mattered, the only person who would possibly be angry was Bray. Brent too, but not the way Bray would be. I’d run from the disaster I’d created in their eyes. Neither knew that losing Bray and hurting Brent would send me back into the darkness. Bray’s presence in my life had held it back. When we were together, there was calmness.
The music changed and the whispering around the guests stopped. Eyes shifted toward the house and the door opened. Out walked Asher Sutton. He was tall, beautiful, and the smile on his face was genuine. He wasn’t nervous. There were no second thoughts for him. No doubts. He knew his life was with Dixie. I envied them both.
Asher was a good guy. Noble, steadfast, sturdy. You never doubted him. He was selfless. He was dependable. He was better looking than any one man should be. Dixie had chosen well. I was happy knowing she would always be taken care of and loved so completely.
I held my breath as the next brother stepped through the door. I thought there was a good chance it was Bray. It wasn’t though. It was Steel. That surprised me. I hadn’t imagined he’d be the brother standing next to Asher today. After all they had been through with Dixie I figured one of the twins would be in that spot. Steel looked at peace. He didn’t look broken or pained.
The next brother to step out was Brent. I knew them apart even from a distance. Their expressions, eyes, and stance were nothing alike. The friendly, happy gleam in Brent’s eyes was his alone. He didn’t see the world the way his twin did. It was as if he had been given all the joy, and because of that he never could understand me.
My nails bit into my palms as they fisted at my sides, anxiety making my heart pound in my chest. Bray would be next, I knew. My entire body knew and I was having a hard time inhaling. It had been so long since I’d seen him. As much as I wanted to, I was also scared that a panic attack was right there about to grab me and this was not the place for it to happen.
I forced oxygen into my lungs and willed myself to calm down as Bray followed Brent outside, joining the others. I didn’t watch for Dallas to exit next. My eyes were locked on Bray. He walked down the stairs and stood beside Brent in front of the house. He didn’t appear happy to be with everyone. No smiling, no joy, nothing.
His life had been nothing like mine. There was no reason for the dark gleam in his eyes, or the anger that always boiled under his surface, but it was there. He didn’t hide it. To say I loved Bray Sutton seemed too weak a description. Because my tie to him, need for him, was so great it had controlled me. Owned me. He had become my medicine. Better than any tiny pill the doctors gave me in their attempt to fix me. I was damaged. Bray made me feel normal.
I wasn’t the girl who had left this town eight months ago. I was different now. Life was hard, and it kicked you when you were down. Over and over. It didn’t care if you needed a break. It didn’t care if you needed a moment to regroup. It attacked when it wanted and let up only if it felt like it.
I could see all five brothers standing there, but my focus was only on one. I watched his every move. I studied his expression. Soaked it in. I wished I could touch his face and say something silly to make him smile like I once had, because making Bray Sutton smile was amazing. He didn’t do it often, but when he did it was the most incredible thing I’d ever seen. Knowing I had that power was just another addicting attachment I had to him. When the memories began pulling me back, taking me to that place I didn’t want to be, Bray’s smile stopped it instantly.
Asher stepped forward and the boys fell in line behind him. Each of them stopped at the front row to kiss their mother’s cheek as she smiled with tears shining in her eyes. She leaned close to Bray and quickly said something in his ear. She hadn’t spoken to the others.
My eyes stayed on Bray as he followed Brent and took his place in front. It took me a moment to realize he was scanning the crowd before his gaze settled on me. His eyes held me captive. They darkened. His body tensed. His jaw clenched. He was angry.
My heart sped up and I fought the urge to flee. I was trembling, but I didn’t look away. I pleaded with him to understand. Or at least my eyes did. I felt them water and I blinked the tears away. I wasn’t going to cry. I had to be strong.
Meg, a cousin of Dixie’s walked down the aisle and I briefly glanced at her as she passed. A brunette I didn’t recognize walked past after Meg. These were Dixie’s bridesmaids. It made my throat clog up to think my best friend had girls standing beside her that I didn’t even know. She had a world now that I wasn’t a part of and that was my fault. One last bridesmaid walked by, another unknown face. Bray’s eyes kept me suspended though. I was unable to think about much more. The regret was coming at me from all angles.
The Wedding March began, and everyone stood up. I did so slowly, unable to break eye contact with Bray. I knew Dixie was walking down the aisle. I heard gasps and whispers about how gorgeous she was. I tore my eyes from Bray and turned to watch my best friend. The pure joy beam from her face, her eyes glued in front of her. On Asher. Seeing it made my heart squeeze. Bray’s angry gaze didn’t matter right now. Not in this moment.
Dixie’s dad was teary-eyed as he walked beside her. He was smiling too, but it was clear he had been crying before they walked out here. Dixie was his only child. His baby girl. Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw her father’s emotion. It was beautiful. Everything it should be. Everything I knew I’d never experience.
They stopped in front, and Asher Sutton’s expression was breathtaking. A tear slipped down my cheek and I reached up and quickly swiped it away. Another tear followed. I wasn’t standing with my friend like I should have been.
My eyes went back to Bray of their own will, finding him glaring at me still. He didn’t want me here. It hurt but pain was a part of life for me. I lifted my chin and glared back at him. I was here, and I didn’t care if he wasn’t happy. Bray Sutton could try and scare me. I wasn’t weak anymore. I would stand my ground.
As the crowd sat and the preacher spoke, I continued glaring at Bray with my shoulders back and my head held high. I would crawl inside myself and shatter when I was alone again, but not here. I would stand my ground.
Then the bastard smirked.