My eyes blaze down at her as she gazes up at me. She leans back on her elbows while I open the box, her eyes widening as she studies my purchases… a collar with attached nipple clamps, a simple cloth gag, and two vibrators, one egg-shaped and the other red and long. She smiles and licks her pretty lips. “Let’s do it.”

“That’s my girl.”

I bend and it’s as if the world has shrunk to just us. Her beautiful body. My hand stroking her tits. Her divine pussy. My fingers probing. God, she’s amazing. She seems to be able to handle anything I throw at her.

I tie the gag around her lovely mouth, knotting it behind the back of her beautiful head. Then I reach into my bedside table for one of Ben’s Lego pieces and place it in her hand “You’re gagged and I’m going to tie all four of your limbs, so you won’t be able to use your safe word or tap out. If or when you’ve had enough, just drop this to the floor.”

She nods her agreement, her eyes shining.

I push her back down on the bed and crawl over her luscious body, grinding my cock against her pussy, her thighs, her belly and her tits.

She rubs herself against me, but I stop her. “Ah. Ah. Ah. You are mine to do with what I want. Your pussy is mine. Your mouth is mine. Your breasts are mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.”

I reach for the cords and her eyes glow with arousal as I tether her spread-eagle to the bed and bind her to the four bedposts. I smile down at her; she looks stunning all tied up for me.

Sitting next to her, I pinch and pull at her nipples, eliciting a deep throaty moan from beneath the gag.

I check her bonds. Nice and tight. They’ll give her something to struggle against.

I pick up the leather collar and hold it out. “Look at it, Catrin.” And she does. It’s as if I’ve shown her a diamond necklace, she’s staring at it so eagerly. I fit it around her neck and secure the buckle; I tighten the clamps and fasten them onto her nipples. She inhales puffy breaths through her nostrils. I climb over her as I work, my heavy cock resting on her soft belly. “You’re so beautiful, darling.”

I kiss her on the forehead. “Now when I adjust these.” I shorten the thin chains extending from the collar to the clamps, “The slightest movement of your neck is going to pull on your nipples.” I lick at the saliva leaking from her gagged mouth and she whimpers.

I reach for the smaller egg-shaped vibrator, set it to the highest speed, and slip it between her pussy lips. She’s already wet and it goes in easily.

“Mmm,” she squirms. Her head twists, tugging at the chains and clamps, making her tits wobble. She gives a yelp around the gag.

I press the vibrator against her clit, and she groans so loudly she almost drowns out the soft electric hum. “Shh, baby,” I kiss her belly. “This is just the beginning.”

Her thong is on the chair where she left it. I reach for it and slip it over her legs, pulling it up so it holds the toy in place. “Perfect.”

I grab a tube of lubrication from the drawer and flop onto the chair in full view of the bed. Catrin’s moans come at uneven interludes. Now and then she’s motionless and silent as she fights the vibrations overwhelming her body, but then she goes back to shaking and struggling. Her groans become frantic yelps. Her thighs twist and her back curves. The vibrator in her knickers keeps buzzing away, driving her crazy. God, she’s wonderful.

I lube my cock and stroke it as I watch her. Then I climb back onto the bed. “Look at me, Catrin.”

She turns her head from left to right. “That’s it,” I whisper. “Pull on your nipples, my beauty.” I straddle her and start jerking off above her tits. A drop of lube hits her nipple and we moan together. “Oh, God, Catrin, God,” I groan. “I’m going to come, baby, fuck, I’m…”

I grip the headboard. My balls draw in tight and I struggle to keep my eyes open as I milk my cum onto her breasts. But I do keep them open, and the sight of her writhing beneath me is beyond incredible.

She starts to tremble in her bonds, fighting them and making gurgling sounds.

I check her hand. She’s holding the Lego brick fast. I feel an outpouring of respect for her, and deep gratefulness.

“I know,” I murmur into her ear. “You need to come.” I jostle her nipple clamps, and she mewls like a kitten.

“I love you like this,” I say to her. “If I wanted to be horrible, I’d make you wait for your release until I’m hard again. But you’ve been so good, Catrin. So perfect.” I climb off her. “Now beg to come. Beg for the vibrator inside you. Show me your best begging, darling.”

With deft tugs, I loosen her gag and toss it away.

She sucks in air, gasping as if she’s been underwater. “Please!” she sobs.

That word makes my heart swell. I grab the long red vibrator and press it up to the top speed, then wave it in front of her face, smirking.

“Ins… inside! Inside me, God! Let me come, Daniel, let me… please!”

I bask in her desperation, then I slide her thong aside and plunge the vibrator into her. As soon as it hits her sweet spot, she starts to come. I watch her, loving her so much I could cry. With a long moan she wets my hand with her release, and I hold the toys against her until her shuddering ceases.

I untie her, remove the collar and clamps and hold her to me, wiping my cum off her tits, soothing her nipples, kissing her and whispering how much I love her, how proud I am of her, how beautiful she is.

Our hearts beat as one; we kiss, and her breath becomes my breath.

Her hands splay over my body, as if she’s recording every single detail as she touches my face, my hair, my neck, my shoulders and my back. Soon her fingers become more urgent. She digs them into my ass, squeezes them into my abs and rubs them into my pecs, pressing the hard planes and whispering how much she loves the forest of tats growing up my arms.

She wriggles out of her thong, then scoots down to hold my thighs and lap at my cock.

We’re no longer playing.

This is real.

More real than anything I ever experienced with Victoria.

Cat and I make love slowly, gently, savouring each other, taking and giving. One minute she’s riding my face, reverse cowgirl style, and I wriggle my tongue into her ass while she sucks my balls and licks my cock. The next minute, she’s swivelled around and has lowered herself onto me as I push myself up into her. I feel myself coming, my eyes watering with the force of my climax, and I press down on her clit, staring up at her beautiful face as she shudders on top of me, her gorgeous skin glistening, my name on her lovely lips as she crests the wave.

* * *

We take a quick shower together before picking up the children from school. Realisation dawns this will be our last evening before the mid-term break. Even the kids pick up on our mood, strangely subdued while they play with Becca’s teddies before we eat.

Catrin makes spaghetti Bolognese and I try to stop myself from thinking about that desolate meal after Victoria died. The food tastes like blotting paper in my mouth, and I force myself to chew and swallow.

I help her load the dishwasher, then tell Ben it’s time to go home. “Aw, Dad, can’t we stay a little longer?” he pleads.

“No, son. Becca and Catrin need to be up early. We’ll say goodbye to them now. It won’t be long before they return from Wales.”

He sticks out his lower lip. “Can we have a camping sleepover when they get back?”

“Of course,” Catrin’s answers for me. “Be a good boy while we’re away.”

“It’s gonna be boring,” he shakes his head.

I haven’t told him about Eric’s visit yet. He’ll be spoiled rotten.

Becca goes up to Ben, puts her arms around him and gives him a hug.

Such a sweetheart.

I turn and catch Catrin gazing at our kids, and the loving look on her face pangs in my gut. “Just a second.” I pull out my phone. “What’s your mobile number?” I ask. “I’ll call you every day.”

Her smile would light the world.

How I want to kiss her.

But I don’t, of course.

Not in front of Ben and Becca.

Soon, my darling, soon.

* * *

I lie in bed later, unable to fall asleep. I toss and turn under the duvet, memories of what happened three and a half years ago whirling through my mind.

It was a slow realisation that something was going on in the hedge fund company Papa had set up that led me to investigate. A certain account Gleb controlled that I had no access to. Then I was approached by Eric’s employers, the European F.B.I. They wanted me to go under cover, be-friend a group of Russians they’d been keeping their eye on. I wondered afterwards why they hadn’t approached Gleb, but I set my worry aside.

Known among the Sloanie girls as the Beast from the East, Gleb made up stories that he had links to organised crime to appear a bad boy. He’d run wild in Moscow before we moved to the UK; he’d joined a street gang in our neighbourhood and was involved in petty theft. The private school Papa sent us to in London didn’t know what to make of Gleb. He resented their old-fashioned discipline and was always in trouble.

Despite everything, I loved him. My big brother, my hero. It was hard for me to accept he’d been laundering mafia money, except the evidence was irrefutable. I talked with him before I took any action, tried to get him to come clean.

“You’re such a wanker,” he’d accused me, grabbing me by my shirt. “You think everything is black and white.” He’d sneered, and his spit had hit me in the eye. “Welcome to reality, little bro’. The world is made up of myriad shades of grey.”

Am I being reckless going to see him? Eric has set up a meeting in Diana’s apartment; he’s kept in touch with her over the years, filling her in on her grandson’s life. She doesn’t know where we are, nor is she going to.

Too fucking dangerous.

Gleb is the only person who can call the mob off my back.

He’s in with them.

He must have some leverage.

I want my life back.

Not my old life.

But a new one free from the secrets of my past.