CHAPTER SIXTEEN
DEACON
I stand looking out the window. The drizzle that’s been falling all day has eased up. Wind chimes tap together in the distance.
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough daydreaming?”
I turn around to find Razor waxing his board on the kitchen table. Bo’s pulling his down from the wall.
“You’re heading out?” I ask.
Razor speaks to the board. “Killer offshore, man, decent swell. The tide’s right. You in?”
It’s funny. Normally, I would jump at the chance to surf Shipstern in these conditions, but I’m simply not in the mood. Better to wallow on land than the water where your senses need to be sharp, especially at the Bluff. It’s not in me today. “I’m going to sit this one out. You two have fun getting raked across the reef.”
Razor laughs, board underarm. “Don’t go crying to us when the swell drops off tomorrow, or you finally lose that vagina you’ve been replacing your dick with lately.”
I give him the bird. “Don’t break anything, especially that pretty face of yours. Might actually make you attractive to the opposite sex.
Bo picks up his board. “Let’s go.” He pokes me in the chest. “Don’t burn the house down while we’re away.”
I nod. “I’ll try my best.”
I watch them run off down the road. It’s strange seeing only the two of them. Normally we’d all be out there.
Lux.
It’s been a week since she left and I still can’t shake her. I told myself she’d be easy to get over if I just gave it time, but try as I might she won’t leave. She may have left Finke, but she hasn’t left my heart.
*
“I’m going to run out of whiskey at this rate,” says Sarah, placing the bottle down.
I hand over a fifty. “In which case I’ll move onto bourbon.”
She pulls out a chair and seats herself. “You want to drown your sorrows because of the one that got away. I get it. I’ve had my heart broken.”
I try to picture the kind of guy that would break Sarah’s heart. I would not want to be his balls. I take a slug of the whiskey. “She didn’t get away. I pushed her away.”
“Why?”
Good ol’ Sarah. Straight to the fucking point. “I didn’t come here for the quaint conversation.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t be a wanker. I’m trying to help. You tough boys and your shielded emotions. God damn biggest problem in the world. Forget fucking nuclear war.”
“You don’t strike me as the emotional type.”
She pushes her tits together. “There’s a heart in there somewhere believe it or not. So, the girl. Spill it.”
I lean back, slide the tumbler into the middle of the table. “I came to the realization it wasn’t going to work.”
“Why?” Sarah presses.
Fuck me. “Because everyone who hangs around me long enough winds up dead.”
“Your brothers seem very much alive.”
“They’re alive, but I don’t think they appreciate being dragged halfway across the world for protection.”
Sarah leans in. “Ah, but you have kept them safe. You can protect them. You can protect her, so why push her away? Why do that to yourself? I mean, fuck knows what she sees in you, but the connection is obvious. There was another one, wasn’t there? A girl you lost.”
She’s striking too close to home now. “Enough.”
“No, you need to get this off your chest.”
I swipe the tumbler off the table. It smashes on the floor. “Do I? Some things are best left buried.”
I take out my clip, slap down another five for the glass.
Sarah remains stony, unmoved. “You’re fucking scared. That’s what it is.”
I slam my fist down on the table. “I am never fucking scared. She’s gone. It’s over.”
“Who?”
I stop. I don’t even know who I’m talking about anymore—Lux, Abbey… It all blends together inside the mess that’s in my head.
The pain hits me hard right in the gut, twists into it like a knife. The whiskey doesn’t help. It dulls the pain, but it never takes it away. Nothing can. “Since you’re such a fucking expert in these matters then, what should I do? I can’t go back to the States.”
“Can you pick up a fucking phone?”
I laugh. “And you call me the smartass?”
“You have contacts. Guys like you always do. Call her for fuck’s sake. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Guys like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
She points to my head. “Sure don’t see a halo floating up there.”
“You’d fall off your fucking chair if I told you the truth.”
She waves it away. “I don’t give a shit about the truth, but I know when two people should be together. You’re broken, but if anyone can patch your sorry ass up, it’s her. Besides, it would be a shame to see a sexy thing like you go to waste.”
I laugh. “Was that a compliment?”
She shrugs. “If I was twenty years younger I’d fuck you like a freight train, but I’m over bad boys now. Too much brooding and intro-fucking-spection. Drama? I’ve got the soapies for that.”
I smile back. “Who says I’d want to fuck you?”
She stands up and leans down, winking. “Who wouldn’t?”
*
“Hello?”
The guy’s voice is deeper than I imagined. “Is this Jason?”
“Who’s calling?”
“I’m a friend of Lux’s.” Friend—That’s one way to put it.
A huff. “Lux doesn’t have many friends.”
“Call me a new acquaintance then.”
“You’re the guy from Australia, aren’t you?”
Pretty boy doesn’t miss a beat. “I am.”
“I should hang up right now after what you did to her. Do you know what kind of state she was in when she arrived?”
“So why are we still talking?”
He laughs. “I don’t know. Curiosity maybe. How’d you do it? How did you get her to fall for you so hard?”
It’s a fucking good question. “I don’t know. I suppose we share a lot in common.”
“Is that so?”
Two can play at this game. “You’ve got a thing for her, don’t you?”
Another laugh. “I’m too straight for her. I have a girlfriend, and besides, I can’t swim.”
“Pity.”
“Like you care.”
“Is she there?”
“Even if she was, you think I’d tell her you called?”
“I do. You care about her. I respect that. You want her to be happy, don’t you?”
“Of course, which is why I’m going to tell you she’s not here, lover boy.”
Fuck. “And let me guess, you’re not going to tell me where she is either, are you?”
“She’s already on her way to the airport.”
“She’s catching a flight?” I question.
A sigh. “God knows why, but she’s coming back for you.”
I don’t know what to say.
“If you hurt her…” he continues, putting on his best tough-guy voice.
“I won’t,” I reply, hanging up but keeping my hand around the phone, gripping it tight.
I shake my head.
She’s coming back.
She’s fucking coming back to me.
*
The swell must be good. It’s been a solid three hours and the boys are still out there.
I sit on the veranda watching the ocean in the distance, my thoughts with Lux. Am I happy she’s coming back? Of course, but what now? Do I tell her the truth, try and start over? Or do I push her away again, keep her safe?
Why? Why the fuck do you do it to yourself, says my head, this fucking self-sabotage? Would it really be so wrong to be happy for once, let the past lie?
I hear tires on gravel. I look down to see the sergeant’s cruiser pulling in. At least the sirens aren’t on—a good sign.
The door opens, Sergeant Wilson getting out a little too fast. He’s alone, no backup.
I stand, slip my hands into my pockets as I walk down the stairs to meet him. “Everything okay, Sergeant?”
He takes off his cap, hand running through his hair. He looks like he’s out of breath, like he’s just run to the mainland and back. “It’s your brother.”
I tense up. “Which one?”
“Bo.”
Fuck. “What’s he done now?”
The sergeant looks down at his feet.
Concern rises. “What is it?”
He looks up. “He’s been attacked.”
Attacked? Fear grips me hard. “What?”
“A shark, great white by the look of it.”
Holy shit. This was always a danger. It’s in the back of my mind every time I go out, but sightings are rare. Of all the times I didn’t go out…
I swallow a lump in my throat. I don’t want to ask the question, but I have to know.
I look the sergeant dead in the eyes. “Just tell me. Is he alive?”