I kicked the dirt off of my boots before pushing through the swinging door into the Firehouse Café. Lucy was right behind me with the distinctive thump of her boots hitting the edge of the threshold. The rain had thwarted our work schedule for the day, so we’d come here for a late lunch.

Once we ordered and were seated with hot coffees to warm our nearly numb hands, I leaned back in my chair with a sigh. “Damn. Summer’s nice, but when it rains, summer disappears.”

“Summer in Alaska only counts when the sun’s out. Otherwise, it’s not summer,” Lucy replied firmly before taking a gulp of her coffee.

Lucy’s wide blue eyes coasted over me, her gaze assessing. “Okay, what’s up?” she asked sharply.

“Huh?” I returned reflexively. I knew Lucy could sense I wasn’t doing too great, but I felt ridiculous about the whole thing, so I was hoping to avoid a conversation.

Lucy’s wide eyes narrowed and she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “Don’t even try it. You’ve been cranky as hell for the last few days and all quiet. I know you miss Cade, but something else is going on.”

I took a sip of my coffee, savoring the warmth of it, along with the warmth of the café. The chill that had settled in my bones from working in the rain started to ease. I took a breath and let it out with a long sigh. “I’m freaking out because I ran into Shannon at the grocery store the other night and somehow she knew Cade was gone and told me I should wonder what that meant. I can’t fall apart like I did before. I know I shouldn’t trust her, but it’s like sand in my shoe. I can’t shake the feeling of worrying maybe I missed something. How the hell does she know anything about his schedule?”

Lucy’s lips flattened into a tight line. With a sharp shake of her head and a look of disgust, she replied, “Shannon is a bitch. Plain and simple.” Lucy paused to take another swallow of her coffee, her gaze softening as she looked across the table. “It’s not exactly hard to find out one of the hotshot crews is out of town. I don’t know what Shannon’s deal is, but I’m guessing she’s just pissy because Cade told her to get the hell out of the way twice now. I barely knew her in high school, but she was the kind of girl who was used to having guys fawn over her. My guess is it probably always bothered her a little that Cade never even noticed her. You’d have to be blind not to notice he’s seriously hot. Even worse, he’s always had that whole ‘don’t give a damn’ vibe,” she said with air quotes.

My confusion must’ve shown on my face because Lucy sighed elaborately before continuing. “You don’t notice because he gives a damn about you. That’s what I mean. Back in high school when most guys are so horny they can hardly keep it in their pants for any pretty girl, Cade wasn’t like that. He was all distant. Then you two were together and no one could shut up about how perfect you were together. I don’t know why Shannon pulled her move the first time around, but I’d say it was simple jealousy. She wasn’t used to a guy not noticing her and it bothered her. She’d just been dumped, so that made it worse. Problem now is she’s got nothing to lose. She knows she won’t be able to have Cade, so why not rattle your cage? She probably feels stupid about what she did and came back thinking she’d try again, but come to find out you and Cade are still in love. It’s totally romantic—the whole second chance love thing.” Lucy feigned a swoony look.

I stared back at Lucy, not even laughing at her being silly, because I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea Shannon would’ve been jealous. I mean, in hindsight, I guess it should’ve been obvious. But Shannon was plain gorgeous and had most guys drooling after her back then. I didn’t want to be worried. I really didn’t. I just hated how it all felt, even if it was Shannon yanking a chain I didn’t even know I had.

Janet arrived at our table right then, saving me from trying to formulate a response. She glanced between us. “What’s up?”

“Shannon got Amelia all freaked out by acting like it means something she happened to know Cade was out of town. Please help me remind her Shannon is a total bitch and just playing games because she’s got nothing better to do,” Lucy said flatly.

Janet rested a hand on her hip, her eyes narrowing. “That girl is just trying to rile you up because that’s how she is. She was used to all the guys fawning over her and as long as she had one, she didn’t care. Act wore thin because it always does for girls like her. You two stayed friends because you’d known her since she was little. She moved away, did the whole college thing and realized being a little fish in a big pond wasn’t much fun. As for why she might know Cade was out of town? You’re being stupid. It’s not hard to figure out when the whole crew is gone.”

“I’m not…”

Janet fixed me with a sharp stare, her look silencing me. “You are being stupid. I’ll cut you a little slack because Cade hasn’t been home long and you two are just figuring things out, but for God’s sake, don’t let something this dumb get in the way.”

My shoulders slumped, and I traced a circle around my coffee mug. “Okay, okay. Maybe I’m being ridiculous,” I muttered. Intellectually, I believed everything Janet said. It was my stupid heart that needed more reassurance, specifically in-the-flesh Cade reassurance.

Janet squeezed my shoulder just as her name was called. “What’ll it be?” she asked quickly.

We ordered sandwiches before Janet hurried off to the kitchen. I leaned back and eyed Lucy with a rueful smile. “I don’t know why it’s so easy for Shannon to get to me.”

Lucy shrugged. “Because you love Cade, and it really hurt when things fell apart before. I also think you deciding to call off everything with Earl plays into it.”

“How?” I asked. Sad to say, once I’d talked to Earl after he’d returned to Willow Brook, I had really and truly moved on from even thinking about him. When I did, I felt sadness tinged with regret for the time we’d wasted, but I didn’t miss him.

Lucy continued, “Well, you finally came to your senses about what Earl was to you. No matter how you look at it, that was a big deal. I mean, you were within minutes of marrying the guy. To have that happen and then Cade show back up—coincidentally as far as you two are concerned—well, it would stir some shit up. You decided you didn’t want to accept something lukewarm and then scorching hot shows up. You got burned once big time with Cade. It wouldn’t have hurt so bad if you hadn’t loved him like you did and still do. I’m guessing you’re gun-shy. Most people would be. You’ll have to get through that with time, but whatever you do, stop letting Shannon pull her bullshit.”

I considered Lucy’s point and knew immediately she was right on target. I hadn’t considered how the reasons behind my choice to break things off with Earl played into it, but it made sense. When Cade was physically here, I was so overcome with the intensity of being with him again, it shoved my doubts and fears far to the back of my mind and heart. With him gone, I missed him so acutely, it reminded me of how I felt after it all fell apart before—a hole in my heart where the pang of emptiness echoed. Adding to the depth of missing him was how everything felt so intense and raw now. I’d loved him before, but the way I felt now eclipsed that love completely. My heart felt full to bursting when he was here, but with him gone, I missed him so much it made me half-crazy. I needed to find some steadiness in the midst of the tumult. Only Cade could do this to me—grab me by the heart, body and soul so hard I felt tossed like a kite in the wind by my emotions.

I stared over at Lucy and took a slow breath. “You’re right.”

Lucy’s eyebrows flew up. “I’m right?”

I sighed and took a sip of coffee. “Yes. That’s what I said.”

Lucy grinned. “Wow, I don’t get that very often.”

I rolled my eyes. “I tell you you’re right when you’re right.”

Lucy giggled. “Love ya, hon, but you’re stubborn. Just yesterday you wouldn’t admit it when I was right about what a fucking nightmare that stupid corner window was gonna be.”

I threw my head back with a laugh. “Okay, fine. Sometimes I can be stubborn.”

Lucy laughed just as our food arrived. Janet was flying by and slipped our plates in front of us, calling over her shoulder as she spun away, “Need anything else, girls?”

We waved her off and dug into our food. I left a while later, the rain still falling heavily. I drove home and walked into my quiet cabin, Cade’s absence an echoing ache in my heart. I’d managed to cobble together a little sense, but it didn’t change how much I wanted him home.