Chapter Eleven
Jasmine
I breathe in deep, and the familiar scent of Ty’s leather and cologne is as addictive as the way he’s holding me—as though I’m his everything, and there’s nothing that can tear us apart.
Grow up, Jas. We lost that battle years ago.
My eyes close, and I sink against his hard body, loving how safe and right this feels. He’s not tearing my clothes off, or shoving me over his desk, or acting like all that’s between us is sex. This is the Ty I fell in love with. The one guy who treated me as though I was someone special. Someone worth fighting for.
It’s an illusion. I can’t let all my barriers down the way I almost did just now. He can never know what happened that day.
When I was seventeen, Viper terrified me into silence. But even then I knew if I confided in Ty he’d never have let that go. It wouldn’t be only his family he confronted. It’d be the whole club, and in the end, he’d be forced to make a choice.
I was afraid that when his back was against the wall and he faced the consequences of defending a girl his family despised, he’d chose his club over me.
But that was always only part of the reason why I ran. I was more afraid the truth would rip him apart and destroy his family.
I might never have liked Angie Jenson, but I envied the close relationship Ty had with his mom. It’s what I always wanted with mine, and I’d hate to be the one that destroyed that connection between them. Maybe he would’ve given up his family for me, but then I’d never know for sure if he stayed with me out of love, or because his pride wouldn’t let him admit he’d made a mistake.
How could we have survived that?
He sighs, and his fingers tangle in my hair in a tender gesture, but he doesn’t pull my head back for a kiss. It’s as though, right now, this is enough for him, too.
Guilt burns through me. Is it possible he’s falling for me again? I don’t want that. I can’t want it, because we don’t have a future. I should leave right now, or maybe just go down on him. Anything to remind us both that this is all about the sex and nothing more. But I can’t bring myself to shatter the moment.
In a few days, I’m going home. I’m not going to punch a hole through his world when there’s nothing he can do to change the past. I guess it’s the same choice I made before, except this time I’ll be ready to move on.
Yeah, sure…
“Do you want to go out tonight?”
I smile against his shoulder, even though my heart hurts. “Like a date, you mean?”
“No.” He strokes the back of my neck and I don’t want him to ever stop. “We’ve gone past dating.”
True enough. I pull back so I can look him in the face. My head’s screaming don’t do it, but I’m going to. “What do you have in mind, then?”
“I want you to see the Hammer in action.”
“That sounds suggestive.” I cup his ass. “So, it’s all business, no pleasure?”
His hand clasps the back of my neck, and I’m drowning in the blue of his eyes. “I didn’t say that.”
“It’s a bad idea to mix the two. You know that.”
“That’s why I never have.”
I want to believe him. I do believe him when it comes to the Hammer, but when we were together I was never a hundred percent sure he didn’t fool around with the girls who worked for Jett. Some of them were so pretty and confident of their sex appeal, and I know for a fact Ty’s dad encouraged him to experiment.
One of his comments, when I was barely fifteen and Ty seventeen, jangles through my mind. You kids are way too young to be so serious about each other. The subtext was so blatant I was speechless—and so desperately hurt by the implication that I wasn’t, and would never be, good enough for his only son.
Just one of so many slights, and Jett was an amateur in that department compared to his wife.
Stop. I’m not going to tear myself inside out remembering those times. Today I’m with Ty, and today that’s all that matters.
I pull back to the present, where Ty’s waiting for my answer. “I guess it’s a good way to check out the working conditions of your dancers.”
“You can check them out anytime you want. I’ve got nothing to hide.”
“I might take you up on that.”
“So that’s a yes to tonight, is it?”
“Why not?” I brush a kiss across his lips, and his grip on me tightens, holding me in place. Not that I’m complaining. Kissing Ty is no hardship.
His groan vibrates inside my mouth, and I wriggle against him, deliberately teasing his erection with my body. A quickie in the office? Really? It’s not like I work for him. And now I can’t get the image out of my head.
Before all the reasons why I shouldn’t do it snap me back to reality, I push him up against his desk. He laughs like he’s torn between shock and amusement, and I give him a wicked grin as I tug on his belt. “You’ve never had sex in here, is that right?”
“Why? Are you planning on changing that?”
“Maybe.” I hook my thumbs into the band of his jeans. “Would you like me to?”
His hands slide beneath my shirt, his fingers warm and strong against my back. “What do you think?”
I inch his jeans over his hips. Anyone could just open the door and see us. Why doesn’t that freak me out? “Just checking. I wouldn’t want to do anything that makes you…” I deliberately pause and give him what I hope’s a seductive glance through my eyelashes. “Uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, I bet.” He kisses me again, but there’s nothing soft or gentle about it this time. I open my mouth, welcoming him, and slide my palm along his length, and somehow having his briefs restricting access makes it that much hotter.
A rap on the door barely registers, until he pulls free with a harsh curse. I smother a laugh at the rabid expression on his face as he adjusts himself and fastens his fly. He never used to care if anyone caught us making out. It was always me who was paranoid about not taking risks. This new, responsible side to him is a revelation, and despite how much I need him right now, I like it.
He leans in close and growls in my ear. “Tonight you’re going to finish what you started here.”
With that promise—or is it a threat?—he stamps across the floor and yanks open the door with more force than necessary. “Bella.”
It’s the woman I spoke to on Friday. Instead of sobering my mood, I have the crazy urge to laugh again. Do I look like I nearly ravished her boss on his desk?
…
Ty
I wait until Jas crosses the street to her car before I go back inside the club and into my office. My hard-on isn’t helping the thinking process, especially when my head is filled with the graphic ways she’s going to make good on my promise to her tonight, but I need to make some calls.
Tonight, Jas is going to learn just how much has changed since she ran out on me.
…
Although Tuesday nights aren’t the busiest, the club’s already half full as I prowl the foyer. For the tenth time in as many minutes I glance at my watch. It’s only just gone nine. She’s not late.
I should’ve brought her here on my bike. Except she laughed as if she thought I was joking when I offered, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to argue. Not when I want her to see how different things are now.
What the fuck am I trying to prove?
I swallow a groan. I know exactly what I’m trying to show her. That the dynamics in the Bastards have changed, and my position as VP is more than just a courtesy title. My generation now holds the balance of power in the MC, and—maybe most importantly for Jas—none of us were full members ten years ago when Kelly was still in demand.
Why the hell does it matter?
It thuds through my head, unanswered. Because I don’t fucking know.
“Ty.” Zach gives me the nod as he strolls into the club, one arm wrapped around Grace. “You okay?”
It’s unsubtle code for Is Jas here yet? If she were, we both know I wouldn’t be standing here alone like a jerk.
“I’m good.” I turn on my smile for Grace. “Hey.”
“Hey, Ty.” Grace says something about how much she loves the gothic mirror on the wall, but her words fade into white noise as Jas walks into the foyer.
She’s wearing a black sweater dress that ends halfway down her thighs, and her hair is twisted on top of her head, with long curls framing her face. She looks untouchable, classy, without any in-your-face, look-at-me cleavage or ass on display, but everyone turns and stares at her anyway.
A strange, hot pain fills my chest, and I can’t drag my gaze away as she smiles and makes her way across the floor. Whenever she walked in a room she always put other chicks in the shade, and it wasn’t until she’d gone I realized how much of me she’d taken with her.
Even after all this time, and all the nameless, faceless girls I’ve had, she’s still the only one that’s ever meant anything.
I don’t crush that feeling. What’s the point? Instead I take her hand. My woman. “Hey, babe.”
“Hey, yourself.” She gives me a fleeting kiss on the cheek, as though she’s not sure how I want to handle tonight. Old friends? Fuck buddies? Screw that.
“You remember Zach, don’t you?” I tug her closer, so there’s no space between us, a silent claim of rights.
“Yes.” She smiles at him, but it’s like she’s greeting a stranger, not a guy she hung out with countless times when we were dating.
“Jas. It’s good to see you again. You’re looking great.” Zach doesn’t seem to notice her reserve, and he smiles at her the way he does Savannah. “This is Grace, my old lady.”
“I’m so pleased to meet you.” Grace beams at Jas, and it’s obvious Zach’s told her about the history Jas and I share. And then Grace looks stricken. “Oh, I’m so sorry about your mom passing. It must be an awful time for you.”
“It’s helped having Ty here.” She doesn’t glance up at me, but she squeezes my fingers, and I don’t fight the urge to press my lips against the top of her head.
Grace says all the right things, without any underlying double meaning, and the tension slowly drains from Jas. I glance at Zach, but he only has eyes for Grace, and for once I don’t feel the need to mock him.
Why the hell would I? His old lady is doing exactly what I knew she would—showing my girl the respect she’s entitled to.
Zach never mocked me, even when we were sixteen and I first fell for Jas.
We go down the stairs to the club, and Jas glances around. I lean in close so the others can’t hear, although that’s not likely over the thud of the live band. “Like it?”
“Impressive. I love the whole gothic atmosphere. You’d never guess it was like this from the outside.”
I grin. “Yeah, it’s ugly as fuck. But it’s the inside that counts.”
She gives me the strangest look. “You’re right,” she says softly, and I get the feeling she’s not talking about the club at all.
Gage and Amelia join us, and after reminding Jas who he is, the chicks chat about God knows what. It washes over my head, and judging from the expressions on Zach’s and Gage’s faces, I’m not alone. We catch each other’s eyes, and it’s like an unspoken message flashes between us.
When did we get so fucking pussy whipped?
I grin—can’t help myself. In the past, we’ve often had chicks hanging off our arms while at a bar or club. But they were disposable, only wanting us for our colors and connections, and they sure as hell never dominated the conversation.
Jas is maybe the only girl I’ve had who didn’t want me just so she could get closer to the Bastards. Not ten years ago and definitely not now. After we broke up, I never cared about a chick’s motives for screwing me. Didn’t matter why, just that she did.
After a few years, even that got old.
Jas strokes her thumb over mine, almost as though she can read my mind, which is so crazy I grin again. If my brothers didn’t know that this was serious after I called and asked them to turn up here tonight, they would now.
We make our way to the bar, and Jas gives the dancers a quick glance as we pass by them. She doesn’t say anything, though, so I guess she doesn’t have a problem with their costume or routine.
Cade and Hawk watch our approach without any mocking smirks on their faces. I give them the nod and tug Jas close.
My brothers know the score.
…
Jasmine
Did Ty arrange this? It’s ridiculous to think he’d go to that much trouble, but how likely is it that four of the guys we’d once hung out with—who’re now all Bastards—would be here tonight?
Cade hasn’t changed that much, but whoa—just like with Gage, I take a second look when Ty introduces me to Hawk. There’s nothing of the gangly boy I remember. But although he’s now all muscle and wears the colors well, he sure doesn’t give off a sinister enforcer vibe the way Viper did.
“Hey, Jas.” He tips his head at me in acknowledgment. Just like with the others, there’s no hint of a sneer in the words, or any slow appraisal of my body. Well, Zach and Cade never treated me like that anyway, but still…
None of them were Bastards back then, either.
I tug on Ty’s hand, and without even asking what I want, he lowers his head toward me. Like he used to.
“Is this a coincidence, or do the guys always hang out here on a Tuesday night?”
He flashes me a grin, and for a moment looks eighteen again. He’ll always be eighteen to me. “Don’t know what you mean.”
“It’s almost like you’re showing me off or something.”
“What if I am?”
I’d expected him to laugh, not virtually agree with me, especially when I was only half serious. And I can’t afford to wallow in the frisson of pleasure his comment evokes, because I’m leaving him in three days.
I’m leaving L.A. Not him. Because Ty wasn’t the reason I came back here.
I could ask him why, but I’m not sure I want to know the answer.
It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I cling to that, even if I don’t fully believe it. “Hawk doesn’t strike me as a tough mofo, by the way. He doesn’t have an evil aura.”
Ty’s eyes narrow as though my answer isn’t what he expected, but relief spills through me when he doesn’t call bullshit. “Why would he have an evil aura?”
“I thought it was a job requirement.” I need to get off the subject of Hawk and his enforcer status, because it’s triggering too many memories. “Anyway, I’ll always remember him as the quiet one in the corner.”
“He’s still the quiet one in the corner.” Ty sounds like he’s trying not to laugh. “Don’t let that fool you.”
No chance of that. I keep my mouth shut, though, because despite all the denials pounding through my head, I know what Ty’s doing tonight. I’m just not sure why. We both know this is going nowhere. Maybe he just wants me to leave town knowing how things could’ve been.
It should make me happy that we’ve both matured enough over the last ten years that we can do this, but somehow…it doesn’t.