Chapter Five
Jasmine
I slump against Ty’s chest, and even through his leather I swear I can feel his heart hammering against my cheek. His arms are tight around me, holding me close, and my eyes drift shut in post-orgasmic euphoria.
In the back of my mind, I know what this is, but for a few timeless moments it’s easy to pretend the last ten years never happened. That there’s no vast gulf of time and unforgiving MC loyalty separating us.
I always did have a great imagination.
His fingers caress my back and then tangle in my hair like they used to. One of the reasons I’ve never cut it short is because of how much he loved it long.
Stupid reason, and I’d die before telling anyone, especially Ty.
Idly, I trace the tip of my finger over his ink. At first glance, his sleeve appears tribal, but in fact, it’s a tapestry of jungle animals. Although he had a few tats when I knew him, he’d had only a lion’s head on this bicep, and right now that’s hidden beneath the sleeve of his T-shirt.
I can still see it in my mind, though. The king of the jungle, that’s Ty. Leo all the way. When I left, did he laser off the intricately detailed sign of Cancer that his friend Cade tattooed in the lion’s protective shadow?
Of course he did. A shy, home-loving crab has no place in a jungle. And jungle is only an analogy for MC, but maybe that’s just another of my prejudices.
I stifle a sigh, and it’s not my imagination when he rubs his jaw over my head, an unspoken gesture of comfort. At least, I’ll take it that way. Why not? When we were together he was always so sweet and loving after we had sex. I could’ve stayed in his arms forever, where it was just the two of us, and for a short time the outside world ceased to exist. As my finger reaches his elbow, he relaxes his grip on me and rests his wrist across my thigh so I can continue my exploration.
Unease weaves through me as I make out the body of a snake wrapped around his forearm. Doesn’t mean anything. I don’t even want to touch it, but force myself to trace the scarily lifelike keeled scales, and Ty rolls his arm over to display the head on his inner wrist.
Nausea grips my stomach, and it takes everything I’ve got not to push back from him and get away from that ugly, terrifying reptile. There’s no mistaking the triangular head or those evil, elongated fangs.
A snake. The snake.
The reason I left, and the reason why I never returned.
Ty’s uncle.
“Viper.” The word slips out, unwanted, and scalds my mouth. Jesus, I’m going to vomit.
“Yeah.” Ty heaves a sigh, and his fingers caress my shoulder as though he has no idea anything’s wrong. That’s because he hasn’t any idea… “Got this done four years ago in his memory.”
The words thump through my head, and it takes a few seconds before I comprehend. “He’s dead?”
“It was a stupid fuck-up.” His body tenses, matching me, but all that’s screaming through my mind is that fucking bastard’s dead… “Just doing a regular protection run. You think of all the shit he did, and he gets killed doing something like that.”
There’s a harsh rushing sound in my head that drowns out the rest of his words. All I can see is Viper’s face leering down at me as he fastened his pants. You’re a sweet little fuck. Just like your mama. Guess we’ll be seeing you at the club now, huh?
I swallow the bile and squeeze my eyes shut. You have no power over me. And now he’s dead, and any tiny hope I’d clung on to over the years that one day I’d get justice withers and dies.
It was always a hollow fantasy. I fled L.A. to get away from him, to get away from the Bastards and from Viper’s sister, Angie Jenson. I got on with my life. You didn’t fucking break me.
“Jas?” Ty cradles my face and eases me back so he can look at me. Since I can’t meet his eyes, I stare at his mouth instead. “Babe, are you okay? I guess it was a shock the way I just came out with it, right?”
“Uh huh.” It’s all I can manage. He always idolized his uncle. Looks like nothing’s changed there, but that was only one of the many reasons why I couldn’t tell him what happened at the time.
I grew up in the Bastards’ shadow. I knew how shit went down. And a terrified seventeen-year-old daughter of one of their strippers didn’t go up against their enforcer if she wanted to live.
She kept her mouth shut.
A shudder racks me, and I gingerly climb off Ty, who appears reluctant to release me. “Cold?” He picks up my dress from the floor and hands it to me, a strange smile on his face, as though he’s waiting for me to tell him why I’m reacting so badly to his news.
Like that’ll ever happen. I made my choice a long time ago, and it was the right one.
“A little.” I pull on my dress and fork my fingers through my hair as he gets rid of the condom and zips himself up, but a part of me can’t let it go. “His past caught up to him, then?” God, I hope so. I hope that piece of shit suffered right to his last breath.
So much for therapy.
“No, the lorry jackknifed, and he smashed right into it.” He gives me a probing look as though I didn’t manage to hide my loathing of his uncle as well as I thought. So, what? It doesn’t matter if he guesses I detested Viper. Ty and I aren’t together, the Bastards are no longer a part of my life, and this time next week I’ll be back in Florida.
“I’m sorry you miss him.” That’s true enough. I could never understand the bond between them, when Ty was everything Viper could never be, but I guess blood runs deep. Ty was always destined to join the Bastards, and the chains of the brotherhood are everything.
He doesn’t respond right away, and it’s obvious my choice of words is unexpected. I tuck my legs under me and hug a cushion because no matter how much I’d rather wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his chest the way I used to after we’d had sex, those days have gone.
Instead of playing by the rules he laid down, that tonight is all about the sex and nothing else, he hooks his arm along the back of the couch and winds a length of my hair around his finger.
“You don’t sound sorry he’s gone.” There’s no accusation, but the question’s there all the same. I could easily shrug it off, change the subject. Hell, I could probably just climb all over him again and he’d forget he even told me about Viper.
I would’ve done that once. I never used to let Ty know how much the contempt from his mom or the slights from others in the brotherhood used to hurt me. I ignored it, or laughed it off, and truth is I don’t think he ever realized how low my status was when it came to his family.
Ten years is a long time. I’ve secrets I’ll never tell, but I’m done running away from the truth just to ease Ty’s conscience.
Get a grip, Jas. He doesn’t care about my wounded feelings anymore. He’s just making conversation.
“I’m not sorry.” I sound like I don’t care. Good. “I never liked him. He gave me the creeps.”
The shock on Ty’s face would be priceless if not for the lowlife we’re talking about.
“You—” He cuts himself off as though unsure what to say. “I didn’t know that. You never told me.”
I shrug like it’s no big deal. “Why would I? I didn’t tell you everything.”
“You should’ve said something. I would’ve told him to back off.”
I know he would. But I kept it to myself, not wanting to create a rift between him and his family, and I was always careful not to criticize anything connected to the MC. Walking on eggshells was an understatement. Would things have turned out differently if I hadn’t been such a timid little mouse?
Somehow, I don’t think so. Viper turned up that evening to put me in my place, to remind me that when it came to the hierarchy of the Viking Bastards I was nothing but shit on their collective boot.
“It doesn’t matter. I moved on. Do you want coffee?”
For a second he simply stares at me as though my abrupt shift in topic doesn’t make sense. I guess it doesn’t, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend the short time we have together going over things that can’t be changed.
It’s a small personal victory to let Ty know his uncle wasn’t the universal god he’s always imagined, but I won’t let Viper poison the present the way he did my past.
“Sure,” he says at last, releasing my hair. “I don’t plan on sleeping tonight.”
…
Ty
Cramped muscles wake me, and I stretch, oddly uncomfortable although I can’t figure out why. A soft, warm body, curved against my chest and groin, pulls me fully awake, and last night floods through my brain.
Jas.
I ease my arm around her waist. There’s hardly enough room to turn over in her single bed, but it seemed like a good idea to end up here in the early hours of the morning. Didn’t mean to stay all night.
Yeah, right.
She sighs, and her ass cradles my erection. An early morning screw is exactly what I need, except I don’t have any more condoms.
Unlike earlier, when we fell into bed and the darkness surrounded us, light streams in through the window, and I brace my weight on my elbow and drink in her profile.
Her hair’s tangled and hides half of her face, but I can’t drag my gaze away. It’s not often I spend all night with a chick, and if I do the only thing I want when I wake up is a repeat performance of the night before. That I’m out of rubbers is no problem. Jas always gave great hand jobs.
I still don’t wake her, though. It’s enough just looking at her, having her naked in my arms. A strange kind of peace sinks through me, an elusive familiarity I’d all but forgotten. It’s Saturday, and I should be working, but who’s going to call me out on it if I don’t go in?
Somehow, staying here with Jas is a much better option.
In the back of my mind, unease stirs. This is a one night thing. I shouldn’t be holding her or planning on spending the rest of the day with her. Hell, I should’ve walked out before we ever made it into her bedroom.
Maybe. But there’re still a dozen ways I want her before I’m ready to call this quits. I cup her tit and nuzzle her neck. Her hair gets in the way, but the scent of her shampoo and the taste of her skin more than make up for it.
“Mmm.” She stretches like a cat, rolling her shoulders and pressing herself more securely into my hand and against my rock-hard dick. “Nice.”
“I’ll give you nice.” I nip her neck, and she squeaks in shock. “I’m horny as hell here. What you gonna do about it?”
She wriggles around so we’re facing each other. Her eyes are smudged with makeup, her lips are bruised from my rough kisses, and a hot surge of possessiveness grips me. Back the fuck down.
“Nothing. I need to use the bathroom.”
“I can work with that.”
“One track mind.” She sits up and pushes her hair back before hiking the sheet over her shoulders and straddling me. I grin up at her, since she’s obviously making as much effort as possible to drive me out of my mind.
“Enjoying yourself, getting off on me?”
“You wish.” She sways over me, rubbing her nipples across my chest, looking all sleepy and sexy, and it’s all I can manage to keep my hands to myself. “I’m just trying to get off the bed without kneeing you in the nuts.”
“Sure, you are.” I give in and grasp her thighs beneath the sheet. “If I hear the shower, I’m coming in.”
“You can come in, but you’re not getting anything. Not until we’ve bought some more condoms.”
I cup her ass, and she lets out a breathy sigh. It’s getting hard to think straight, but one thing’s clear. “You can go down on me in the shower. Don’t need anything for that.”
Her lips brush mine in a barely there kiss. “Back in the day, maybe. But not now.”
I grunt, irrationally pissed that she had to remind me of what we once had and don’t anymore. “You can jack me off, then.”
She sits up, obviously trying not to laugh, and the sheet slides down her back. “Yes, I could. Or we could get some breakfast and come back to—” She stops mid-sentence and blinks as though something’s distracted her.
My gaze drifts down her naked body. What the fuck was I thinking, turning up last night with only four fucking rubbers? I could never get enough of Jas in the past. Nothing’s changed, and I was an asshole to think four times would be enough for either of us.
It’s not funny, but a smile twists my lips regardless. With any other chick, twice is more than enough.
“You didn’t get rid of it.” There’s an odd catch in her voice that manages to tear my attention from the tantalizing glimpse of her pussy.
“Didn’t get rid of what?”
The tip of her finger traces along my bicep. There’s a strange expression on her face, like she’s about to cry. Don’t cry, babe… “My star sign.”
“Why would I get rid of it?” It never crossed my mind. In some masochistic way, I liked seeing it every time I looked in a mirror. It served as a reminder to never let another chick worm her way under my skin.
Worked damn well, too.
“I don’t know. I just thought…” Her voice trails away, and she traces the outline of the tat I had done to celebrate our one year’s anniversary. That, and the fact I’d been under the delusion we’d last forever.
“What? You thought I’d want to fuck up my arm just to get rid of some ink?”
She gives me a small smile and gently trails her fingers along my jaw. It’s a tender gesture, so similar to the way she used to touch me that something sharp clenches deep in my chest.
Fuck that shit.
“Thought you needed the bathroom?” I wrap my hand around her wrist and forcibly remove her hand from my face before I do something I’ll regret. Like kiss her as though I mean it, as though it’s not all about the damn sex after all.
“Yes.” But she still doesn’t move. Then she leans down and kisses me, a soft, sweet kiss that shouldn’t feel half as good as it does, considering the no-sex clause in effect.
I watch her leave the bed and feast on the sight of her naked back and gorgeous ass before she wraps herself in an ankle-length robe. At the door, she pauses and glances back at me, the faintest trace of a smile on her lips.
“I’m glad we bumped into each other yesterday. It’s helped…a lot.”
And then she shuts the door behind her.
…
I’m on my third coffee by the time she saunters into the kitchen, dressed in faded jeans and a T-shirt with her hair still damp from her shower. It went against everything I wanted to leave her bed and pull on my jeans without even jacking off, but to hell with that. I can live with a hard-on for a few hours before a willing chick at the club takes the edge off. Better that than have Jas know how easily she can still lead me by the dick.
“I thought you were going to join me in the shower.” She pours a coffee, and I shift my ass along the counter to give her more room, but not so much that I can’t inhale the addictive scent of her perfume.
It’s helped…a lot.
I don’t even know what she means by that. Hell, I don’t even know why I give a damn as to what she means. It doesn’t fucking matter. I need to get away from her so I can think straight again.
“No point if we couldn’t fuck.” Not true. Not that I’m telling her that.
Her smile fades, and I feel like a total prick. She takes a sip of coffee, and I finish mine, and it’s like we’re two strangers again.
She clears her throat. “So, what’re your plans for today? Anything exciting?” Her gaze lingers on my naked chest before slowly traveling down my torso. Generally, I like it when hot girls check me out, but this time something just feels…off.
It doesn’t help when it’s obvious she notices my erection.
“Work. You got a better offer for me?” Jesus Christ, could I sound more desperate to spend more time with her?
“I don’t know.” She looks me in the eyes again, and there’s a blush on her cheeks that slays me. “I’m leaving on Friday. We could see each other a couple of times again before then.”
She sounds so casual, as though my answer doesn’t matter to her one way or the other. I shouldn’t care, but it stings.
Just say no. How fucking hard is that? She’s not the only girl on the damn planet.
“I’d have to check my diary.” I’m not a fucking pushover. Except, when it comes to Jas, I obviously am.
“Of course.” Her response is smooth as silk, but she wasn’t fast enough to hide the flicker of surprise at my reply. “I’m quite flexible, so just let me know.”
This conversation is the craziest I’ve ever had. And while I’m still chewed up over the whole thing, a part of me is laughing inside.
“Flexibility is good.”
“I’ve always found it helpful,” she says without missing a beat. “So, do I need to clear any dates with your P.A.?”
“We can work this out between ourselves.” Have I just agreed to see her again? Did I ever doubt I would? “A couple of times? What if I want more?”
Fucking kill me now.
“Every night is good for me.”
It’s a bad idea. I know it, but it’s just too damn tempting to pass up. “You’re offering me a week of no-strings-attached sex?”
“Only if you’re offering me the same.”
Only for a week. That’ll be plenty long enough to get her fully out of my system.
One night was supposed to be enough.
I need to get this back on track, on my terms. Let her know I won’t change my life for one week with her. “I’m not exclusive.” Not anymore. Been there, still got the scars.
“I wouldn’t expect you to be.” She still has a small smile on her face but there’s a faint touch of ice in her voice, as though my comment rankled. “I’m not looking for a relationship. Just closure.”
It’s like she sucker punches me. Closure. What else did I expect her to say? What the fuck else is there to say? That’s all I want, as well.
I guess a part of me wanted to hear her say it. I want more. Don’t know why. It won’t change anything. But how would I respond?
I don’t know. I can’t deal with this. Move on.
“Okay. You want to shake on it?”
“Sure.” She offers her hand, and there’s no trace of ice in her voice anymore. “Same time tonight?”
I’m not used to women calling the shots. Even when Jas and I were together, it was always me who made all the decisions. But since I can’t find any fault in her suggestion, I shrug.
“Sounds good.” I stroll from the room, aware she’s watching me, and when I’m back in her bedroom I lean against the wall and close my eyes. What the hell am I doing?