Chapter Eight
Jasmine
“You want to grab some early lunch?”
I lean against the kitchen sink and pretend to think about his offer, even though I’m going to accept. After the breakfast interlude, we shared a leisurely shower until the water ran cold. I can’t believe it’s almost eleven already, but that’s not the main thing on my mind. Stop thinking about how he roared your name when he came… “Sure, why not?”
His smile turns my stomach into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. I’m so screwed. We should’ve finished this on Saturday morning. What was I thinking to suggest we drag it out for the whole week? My heart’s never going to recover a second time.
It never recovered the first time.
“Guess I’d better get dressed.” He saunters out of the kitchen wearing only his jeans, and for the first time I get a good look at his back.
I let out a measured breath. The Bastards’ colors are engraved in my psyche, and while I despise everything they stand for, there’s no denying how good the ink looks on Ty.
His MC is his family, stronger than any blood ties. I’ve always known it. It doesn’t stop the ache deep in my chest, though.
Enough. I don’t need to agonize over any of it the way I used to when we were together. This is just one nostalgic week where I can finally lay all the ghosts to rest.
Most of them, anyway. The ones that count.
Ty’s the only one that matters. And Viper’s dead.
I guess that’s justice of a kind. More than I could’ve ever expected. I’ll take it.
A strange sense of peace flutters through me, gone in an instant, but it’s enough.
Yeah, it’s enough.
…
We leave the building, and I take a deep breath. The air isn’t exactly fresh out here, but it’s better than the dirty stairwell we just left. “Where’re we going?” I glance up at Ty as he strolls by my side, looking as though he owns the world.
He used to own my world…once upon a time.
“If there’s nowhere local, I’ll take you for a ride.” He grins at me and comes to a halt by a gleaming Harley. God, that’s tempting. I used to love riding with him, but his bike back then was nothing like this beauty.
It’s a bad idea. It’ll bring back way too many bittersweet memories. “Hmm, I’m not really dressed for it.” I could always run back inside and change into my jeans.
“Got a better idea?”
I’m surprised he doesn’t try and persuade me, but that’s nothing to the shock when he casually threads his fingers through mine and tugs me close.
Anyone could see us. Of course, the chances of anyone who Ty knows seeing us isn’t high, but even so, it’s a huge thing. A Bastard doesn’t go around holding hands with a piece of ass in public.
Not like before, when we dated, when I was someone who mattered. We held hands all the time, and none of his friends saw anything strange about it. I glowed with pride that Ty Jenson was with me, and girls who’d snubbed me in the past because of my mom’s associations now envied me for mine.
What does he really think of me now?
Stop analyzing, Jas. Just enjoy it.
“I found a diner a couple of blocks from here the other day.” It didn’t look newly opened, but it wasn’t around when I used to live here. I squeeze his fingers and lean closer so our arms touch. “Mama Coco’s.”
An odd expression flickers over his face, gone so fast I half wonder if I imagined it. “Okay. Why not?”
I’m not sure he’s really asking me that question, since it doesn’t make any sense. My head’s telling me to leave it, but I can’t help myself. “Have you been there before?”
He shrugs like it’s unimportant. “Nah.”
That’s it, and I don’t know why something’s gnawing at me. Why would he lie about it? It’s only a diner.
This is a tough neighborhood, but we still get plenty of sideway glances. Guess they’re not used to seeing a Bastard swaggering along the sidewalk. I used to love how safe he made me feel when we were together, how no one would ever cross him because of how badass he was—and because of his connections.
I guess I still feel safe when we’re together. But strangers don’t know anything. Ty wears the colors, but at his core, he’s nothing like the stereotype.
Stop right there. He’s a brother, and the club will always have his loyalty.
It doesn’t take long to reach the diner, and I toss him a grin at the pained expression on his face as he peers through the window. “You might want to reel in the testosterone before we go inside.”
“In your dreams,” he growls. “The things I do for you.”
“It was your idea to go out, remember? I had bread and cheese back at the apartment.”
He shoots me a look of mock disgust. “You coming or not?” He pushes open the door, and it seems every head in the place swivels to stare before hastily pretending to ignore us. For the first time, I have second thoughts about my suggestion. A diner catering to families with small kids is probably not the right place to take Ty.
Too late now. He saunters toward a table at the far end, which means I have to suffer surreptitious glances all the way across the room until we sit and are less conspicuous. I let out a relieved breath and pick up the menu.
He leans across the table and uses one finger to lower the menu. “See?” There’s an irresistible smile on his face. “I can behave when I need to.”
“I know that.” My back is to the room, but I can feel the hostility aimed our way. Truth is, I can’t blame them for thinking Ty’s bad news, but it’s still irritating me far more than it should. “I didn’t realize this place was so family oriented. It was half empty when I came in here before.”
His gaze shifts to look over my shoulder, and he gives one of his sexy half smiles. Who the hell is he looking at? Before I can stop myself, I glance over my shoulder and see a young waitress making her way toward us, an answering smile on her face.
So much for Ty never having been here before. I squash the flare of hurt that’s attempting to take over my chest and fix a bland smile on my own face. It doesn’t matter that he lied to me.
Yes, it fucking does.
“Hey, Amelia,” he says, like he’s greeting his younger sister, Savannah.
“Wow.” Amelia folds her arms and looks as though she’s trying not to laugh. She has such pretty hair, a kind of coppery gold, and freckles spill across her nose and cheeks. It doesn’t take much imagination to guess she’s one of Ty’s recent conquests, and I try not to care, the way I tried not to care when I was a teen and girls threw themselves at him. They’re nothing to me, he’d laugh, pulling me close, and I believed him. I so wanted to believe him. But a tiny part of me couldn’t accept I was ever enough for him.
“Never thought I’d see you in here,” Amelia continues. “Is the world ending?”
I blink, secretly staggered by the way she’s talking to him. It’s like they’re good friends…but unless he’s drastically changed, Ty doesn’t do friendship with girls. Especially not with girls as pretty as Amelia.
And he really hasn’t been in here before? The tightness in my chest eases.
“Might be.” Ty answers Amelia and throws me a glance I can’t quite figure out. “Hey, babe. You remember Zach’s kid brother, Gage?”
Of all the things I thought he might’ve said to me, this definitely wasn’t it. For a second I just stare at him, bemused.
“Gage?” Ty and Zach were best buddies. We’d sometimes hang out at Zach’s, and his brother was often around. “Uh, sure.”
“Amelia’s his old lady.”
Whoa. It’s crazy, but in my head Gage is still a cocky fifteen-year-old boy. It’s hard to imagine he’s grown up enough to have an old lady. I smile at Amelia, not sure what I’m expected to say. It’s not like I even know her.
“That’s great. Congratulations. To Gage, too.”
She gives a funny little smile as though she’s embarrassed. “Thanks. So, um, you know Gage, huh?”
Before I can figure out how much to tell her without it sounding like a Norse saga, Ty takes my hand, and that renders me speechless, anyway. “This is Jas. We go way back.”
Amelia looks at our joined hands as though she’s never seen anything like it in her life. Then she gives us both a bright, over-the-top smile, and it’s like I can see the cogs in her brain working overtime. Must call Gage.
I bite my lip, not sure if I want to laugh or groan.
“So, what can I get you?” She whips out her pad, all business, obviously dying to escape so she can get the gossip from Gage.
After she leaves, I lean across the table. “You should’ve said Gage’s old lady worked here. We could’ve gone somewhere else.”
“I don’t care if anyone sees us together.”
What does he mean by that? He doesn’t mean anything. But I can’t help asking, “Why not?”
He shrugs like it’s no big deal. “No one else’s business what I do.”
That’s true, except when it comes to the club. Everything is their business.
“Did Gage join the Bastards?” Zach was a prospect, same as Ty, so I’m guessing he’s a member now. But I can’t remember if his brother wanted to follow in the family tradition.
“Yep. And Hawk. You remember him?”
I frown. The name’s familiar. “Was that Gage’s best friend? The quiet one?”
Ty grins as though I’ve said something funny. “He’s our enforcer now.”
“Hawk’s your enforcer?” I didn’t know him that well, but he sure never struck me as the kind of cold-hearted douche that position requires. “Wow. I didn’t see that one coming.”
“He’s one tough motherfucker.”
He’d have to be. Talk about appearances being deceptive. Then again, it’s been a long time since I saw him.
“I guess your dad’s still the president?” He was usually okay with me. Tended to look through me more than anything, and that was because, when it came to domestic crap, he always took his cue from Angie.
“Yeah.” There’s an oddly calculating look on Ty’s face, almost as though this conversation is pushing boundaries. Regret stabs through me. He used to tell me anything and everything. “And guess who the VP is now?”
I force a smile, since that’s expected, but inside, another little part of my heart dies. “It’s what you always wanted. Congratulations.”
He shrugs and doesn’t look as pleased with himself as he should. “It was one of the things I always wanted.”
The words hang between us, loaded with meaning. Or is it all in my mind? Before I can figure out whether his brooding expression has anything to do with the broken dreams we once shared, Amelia returns with our order.
“There you go.” She places our food on the table along with our coffee, and then darts a glance between us. “So, are you back for good, Jas?”
I catch Ty’s eye and try not to smile.
“Subtle as a brick,” he says. “What else did Gage say when you called him just now?”
She doesn’t even try to deny it. Instead, she looks enthralled. “Nothing. Well, except that you”—she gives me an apologetic smile—“left years ago, and no one had seen you since. I just love second-chance romances.”
Who says that to someone they’ve just met? I’m not sure if she’s poking fun at me or not, although she sounds genuine.
“Ignore her.” Ty sounds amused, as though he’s used to her hyperbole. “She writes smut, so she thinks everything’s full of romantic shit.”
I open my mouth then close it again, since I’ve no idea whether he’s joking or not.
“It’s not smut.” She glares at him for a second but doesn’t sound offended. “I just think this is nice, that’s all.”
Ty smirks as though her linking him with something nice cracks him up.
And I’ve had enough of him being a dick. He’s acting like there’s a chance of us getting back together, when we both know different.
“I came back to sort out my late mother’s affairs.” God, I sound snotty, and wish I’d kept my mouth shut when Amelia turns to me, a horrified expression on her face. I can’t stop now, though. “Ty and I met up by pure accident. That’s all.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry about your mom.” Amelia sounds mortified, and I sit there with my polite mask in place as Ty releases my fingers and picks up his coffee. “I didn’t mean to, um…” Her voice trails away, and she shoots Ty a desperate glance, but he doesn’t come to her rescue.
“It’s fine.” I give her a tight smile, hating myself for spoiling the moment. Except, what was I supposed to do? “You weren’t to know. Ty and I are”—playing with fire—“friends, that’s all.”
Beneath the cover of the table, he slides his boot along my calf, belying my words, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Sure.” Amelia nods more forcefully than necessary. “Anyway, I’m really sorry for, um, everything.”
After she disappears behind the counter, I frown at Ty, who’s digging into his burger like there’s nothing wrong. “Well?” I demand, when it becomes clear he’s not going to respond to my silent message. “What was I supposed to tell her?”
He shrugs, unconcerned. “Whatever, babe.”
What the hell does that mean? “Would you rather let her think we were seeing each other?”
“Jas, I don’t give a fuck what she thinks.”
I seethe for a few seconds, not entirely sure why I’m getting so worked up. “You don’t care if it gets back to your family?” To your mom?
“Who the hell’s going to tell my family?” For the first time, there’s a hint of irritation in his voice.
With dignified restraint, I pick up my fork. For all I know he holds hands and eats out with every girl he hooks up with, and this is nothing special at all.
I know what this is.
My head does, at least. It’s my heart that’s having a hard time reconciling it all. If I didn’t still care so much, I wouldn’t have minded what Amelia thought was going on between us. Ty wasn’t being a jerk. I was being oversensitive.
I shove a forkful of omelet into my mouth, but even when I was a timid mouse, I never liked humble pie, and it’s hard swallowing something that tastes like ashes.
I take a sip of coffee and glance at him. It’s crazy to spoil the few days we have together because of a couple of wounded feelings.
“Amelia seems nice.” I use the word deliberately and give him a faint smile when he looks at me.
“She’s all right.” He regards me as though he’s assessing whether to continue, and I take another bite of omelet, just to show him I don’t care that now, unlike before, he feels the need to screen everything he says to me. Except I do care. “She grew up with the Wolves.”
My omelet sticks in my throat, and I choke. Tears well in my eyes, and I grab my napkin and press it to my mouth. Is he jerking around?
“The Silver Wolves?” I double check as soon as I can breathe again. “Oh, my God. And none of the Bastards have an issue with that?”
The Bastards and Wolves MCs have been enemies forever, and shortly before I left L.A., things came to a head with a double murder that rocked the Bastards. It came close to full out war between the two MCs, but I had my own problems and left before anything was resolved.
“A lot of things have changed since you left.”
Not enough. I ignore both that thought, and the hint of accusation in his tone. “Obviously. It used to be a capital offense to mention their name in a Bastard’s hearing.”
“We formed an alliance over nine years ago.”
Unbidden, I recall things Ty told me at the time, how the Wolves’ president was crazy and out for blood, not the type to negotiate or even understand the meaning of tact and diplomacy. “I’m guessing their president was voted out before this could happen?”
Ty gives a dry laugh. “Something like that.”
I can imagine the way the Wolves got rid of their unstable president. I don’t need Ty to spell it out for me. “The alliance must be working, to have lasted all these years.”
“We watch each other’s backs.”
Of course they do. The big macho men playing God, ruling their turf and answering to no one. I stifle a sigh and finish my coffee. I never used to think like that when I hovered on the periphery of that world. All I wanted was to be accepted as Ty’s girl and welcomed by his family.
I don’t need validation from anyone for my existence now. I’ve carved out my own place in my own world.
“Guess it cuts down on the territorial battles.” Why did I say that? I sound as though I’m condemning his lifestyle.
I am condemning it…
“It’s proved to be a lucrative partnership.”
I didn’t expect that response. He sounds like he’s talking about a business decision. On second thought, I guess he is.
He finishes his burger, and I reach over and take his hand. We don’t say anything, just gaze at each other like we’re a couple of star struck teenagers.
Such a crazy thought. Ty was never star struck the way I used to be.
“Stop looking at me like that.” His fingers tighten around mine, and he pulls my hand across the table. “I need to go into work this afternoon.”
“Sure you don’t have time to squeeze in a quickie?” I flutter my eyelashes and pout my lips in what I hope is a seductive manner.
He snorts with laughter, which isn’t exactly the response I was hoping for. “Not unless you want to ask Amelia if we can use the kitchen here.” He leans a little closer and breathes in my ear. “Or I could fuck you on this table. Give the regulars something to talk about.”
“I think we’ve already given them enough to talk about just by turning up here.”
“They should be used to it. Gage comes here all the time.”
“Yeah, well, Gage isn’t you.”
He grins against my ear, clearly relishing the ego stroke. “You turning down my offer?”
“Is it the best I’m likely to get today?”
“Fucking better be.”
I pull back, just enough so I can see his face. He’s completely focused on me, with a mocking smile that melts me inside, and his gorgeous blue eyes take my breath away, just like the very first time I saw him. It doesn’t seem that long ago that he swaggered into Jett’s work and all the girls were gushing over him. I’d only stopped by to drop off a costume of Mom’s that she’d forgotten to take with her, but one glimpse of Ty was all it took to lose my heart.
“There’s a kitchen back at the apartment. Can you wait until tonight?”
“Can’t, babe. Doing a run tonight.”
He says it so casually, as though it’s no big deal that he’s sharing that with me, and a warm glow seeps through me. Seriously, Jas? He’s telling me of his illegal activities. I should be stopping him right now, but hell. I’m in L.A., and this week has nothing to do with my real life in Florida.
“With the Wolves?”
“Nah. Strictly Bastards’ business. Hawk’s cousin is having some trouble with her deliveries turning up. We’re gonna make sure whoever’s behind it knows if they mess with her, they’re messing with us.”
Not completely illegal, then. Just a little shady.
“Tomorrow?” I don’t even care if it makes me sound desperate for him.
His teeth graze my knuckles, and his gaze smolders whatever’s left of my reason. “Try keeping me away.”