Nola

Kissing Ash goodbye, he gave me a sleepy smile and stroked the back of his fingers down my cheek. His voice was low and husky as he spoke. “You're perfect, absolutely perfect.”

Pressing my hand against his, I leaned into his touch. “You really know how to make a girl feel special.”

“It's easy when it's true.” Releasing my face, he blew me a kiss.

My heart fluttered as the invisible kiss penetrated my chest and tattooed itself on the muscle. “What do I say to that?” Blushing, I slipped on my heels and stood up.

Stretching his arms up above his head, I watched his abs as they rippled with a deep breath. “You don't need to say anything.” Biting his bottom lip, his lids lowered. “You know I'm going to make you love me, right?”

“Is that right?” Adjusting my dress, I ran my fingers through my hair, brushing out the knots. “Love is a strong word to be tossing around. How do you know you can make me do anything?”

“Because,” he said, his voice playful and amused. “I don't give up.”

“So you're going to stalk me into submission?” Giggling, I watched him as his gaze gobbled up my body, devious and needy.

I swear he was ready to go again, and if I had climbed back into bed with him there was no way I'd ever make it out. As much as the thought sounded really good, I still had a company to run, playtime was over.

Ash pushed himself up in the bed and reached out to hold my hand. “Stalk; no. . .” His voice fell to nothing as he let the silence consume me. His eyes were smiling the same as his lips, his pulse was beating hard and powerful, same as his breathing.

Be strong, it's time to go.

“Then what? How will you make me love you?”

Placing a tender kiss on the inside of my wrist, he answered. “Because we're meant to be, Nola York, we're meant to be. And I won't have it any other way.”

My breath hitched as his words sank in and I couldn't come up with a viable remark to tell him he was wrong. I had dreams of that kind of life. The one where you have that special someone, that one person you could share everything with.

Unfortunately, that wasn't my life, it wasn't in the cards I had been dealt.

Love was a fictitious idea that I only dreamed about as a little girl. The older I got, the more I understood that my career towered above everything else.

Leaning over, I kissed Ash's forehead. “I'll see you later, don't be late to work.” With my head firmly anchored in place, I didn't look back, afraid that if I did, I'd tear my clothes off and jump back in bed.

Catching a cab home to change, I tried to look as presentable as possible. My skin was still illuminated from all the orgasms, my knees were raw and red, and the circles under my eyes needed a strong dose of concealer.

With high black heels, a tea length, bright pink dress, and a smile on my face, I strolled into the office like a woman on fire. I could feel the eyes of my employees as I walked past their desks and heard the subtle whispers being passed around.

The smile on my face probably gave away the evening I had. I couldn't erase it, no matter how hard I tried to keep my lips down.

After getting to his apartment, we barely made it in the door before he stripped me out of my clothes and fucked me over the arm of the couch. We had sex four more times after that; in his bed, on the floor of his living room, on the kitchen counter top, and in the shower before we both passed out from exhaustion.

When I woke up, I felt different. It was hard to explain. I couldn't shake the feeling that my life was suddenly complete, like this small piece had been missing and I didn't know it until I finally had it.

Being with Ash, curling into his arms, the feel of his chest against my back as we drifted off to sleep, it all felt so right.

Stopping in the center of the room, I cocked out my leg and rested a hand on my hip. “This magazine won't write itself people, so unless you all have another job lined up to start tomorrow, I suggest you get back to work.”

Even as I tried to sound stern and authoritative, I still had the urge to smile, and my voice was two octaves too high for a true threat to these people. I felt too good, like I was floating on cloud nine. There was this permanent euphoric sensation flowing through my body, and nothing could shake it free.

Today is going to be a good day.

Heads zipped back into position, fingers typed on keyboards, and the office fell back into its normal rhythm.

Stealing a quick glance, Ash was sitting back in his chair, nibbling on the end of his pen. His eyebrows were arched high as he grinned, flashing me his pearly whites.

'You're late.' His lips move in soundless words as he winked and shook his head as if he was disappointed.

But I held strong, I didn't give him a smile, I didn't let my breath still or my muscles shake, because no one could know what was going on between us.

It was hard as hell to stay stoic. My legs started trembling as if he had the ability to manipulate my insides with just his mind. A cold shiver scaled my spine as I forced myself to turn away from his unrelenting stare.

This was my world, I ruled this place like a fucking puppeteer, pulling strings on every arm in the room. The last thing I needed were more rumors spreading; there were enough of those going around already.

Stepping into my office, I started to close the door as a heavy hand stopped it. Glancing over my shoulder, Clint's eyes were on my ass.

“Aren't you a sight for sore eyes,” he said, licking his lips. “You didn't have to get all dressed up for me. But if this is your apology for yesterday, you got my attention.”

Rolling my eyes, I turned to face him, wrapping my arms over my chest. Not that it mattered, he still wouldn't look me in the face, keeping his eyes on my tits as if they were his.

I hate when he looks at me like that.

Moving my arms up higher, I did my best to show him as little cleavage as possible. “Is there something you need, Clint?”

“There is now.” Reaching down, he subtly ran his fingers over his cock. “How about we take this inside?”

“How about we don't.” Taking a firm step closer, I blocked him from being able to come through the door. “Look, I'm just coming in, so if you don't need anything, I have stuff to catch up on.”

“Just coming in, huh?” His eyes did this twitchy dance, lids hooding like he was half drunk. “Were you up late?”

“Yeah, I was, not that it's any of your business.”

So why am I giving him an answer?

“Baby, don't be like this. I know I get a little jealous at times, but it's natural.” Lifting a closed hand to his mouth, he bit down on the knuckle. “I mean look at you, hot damn.”

“Don't you have models to ogle for next months issue?” Flaring my nostrils, I gripped the trim of the door and started to close it. “I have work to do, I suggest you do the same.”

I wanted to fire the guy so bad. But the fact we had dated made that almost impossible. Not to mention his father and my father grew up together.

Clint's father had been our biggest investor in the beginning and still was to this day. As much as I hated to accept it, he had a job here, forever according to the handshake between our parents.

The guy would have to fuck up royally for me to have any grounds to fire him and not have it come back to bite me in the ass.

“Wait, wait. . .” Holding up his hands, he leaned in. “We need to kiss and make up, Baby. I'm tired of this back and forth, let's just make it official. How about later you and I—”

“How about no.” Slapping his advance down, I snapped, “And I'm not your Baby, I'm your fucking boss, Clint, so start acting like it.”

Attempting to slam the door in his face, his arm whipped up hard and fast, palm crashing against the glass. “Is that right?”

Glancing over his shoulder, no one else seemed to notice his demeanor or body language. Either that or they were tuning it out completely because of my idle threat to fire them all if they weren't working.

Pinning the wood between my fingers, I held on with a death grip, trying to keep him from storming inside. “Do I need to show you who signs your paychecks?”

An evil chuckle fell from his mouth as his eyes twisted. Forcing his way into my office, he shut the door behind him, trapping me inside. “I think you might want to step down off your fucking pedestal princess. I tried to play nice, but this isn't a fucking social call anymore, you crossed the line.”

“I crossed the line?” My voice rose and fell in disbelief. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“I'm the man who's going to set you straight.” Taking a heavy stride forward, he forced me to step back. “I gave you a chance to come clean with me, you chose to lie to my face. I asked you straight out and you said no.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Straining my voice, I ran my hand down over my hair and stared at him confused.

“I tried to be nice, thinking maybe it was just a one time thing—obviously I was wrong. I don't like being wrong.”

Holding out my arms, I bounced them in the air. “What the hell are you talking about?”

His tongue swept over his teeth, creating a high pitched squeal that hurt my ears. “Do you remember how you left me at the banquet?”

“We weren't there together, Clint. I don't understand what you're trying to get at here.”

Growling, his eyes turned from brown to black. “I made it clear that we weren't done, I tried to show you that I still have feelings for you.”

“No, you were drunk and you tried to force yourself on me. You weren't listening to me at all when I was telling you flat out for the millionth time that we were over. Just like you're not listening to me right now.”

“You should have said yes, everything would be so much easier if you had just said yes. I told you exactly how I felt about you and you tore my heart out.”

“What heart? The one you used to dump me with your new girlfriend sitting on your lap? That heart?”

Shaking his head, his lips drew back. “And then you lied to me, you bold-faced lied to me.” Biting his bottom lip, he stuffed his finger in my face. “And the fucked up part is you did it so easily. I know everything, Nola, every last fucking detail.”

Pinching my bottom lip, my eyes dropped off of his and onto the floor. I wasn't sure I wanted to know where he was going with this anymore.

“You were drunk that night and acting like a complete asshole.” Chuckling a little, I couldn't hide the sarcasm in my voice. “But it's more than obvious you don't need the booze to be a dick, do you?”

His lips drew taut as his jaw cocked to the side. “You think you're fucking funny, but I know a secret about you. Do you want me to tell you what it is?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” My throat started to close as I swallowed thick and took a long step backwards. “What secret?”

My eyes kept shifting to the door, my legs trembling and ready to bolt around him and get to safety.

There was this look in his eyes, one I hadn't seen before, and it scared the shit out of me. Clint had always had this entitled attitude. He walked around like the world owed him and he could take whatever the hell he wanted from it.

But this was different. His pupils were as big as saucers, the muscles in his face were tight, his movements stiff and jerky. Clint looked like he was losing his damn mind because I wasn't conforming to his demands.

Tisking me under his breath, his mouth curled. “I could tell you, but I think showing you would be so much better. . .” His voice trailed off as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket.

What the hell is he talking about? What the fuck is on his phone?!

His gaze was on the screen as he scrolled, his eyes lighting up with tiny pictures in his black pupils. “Ah, here it is.” Turning the phone with a war winning smirk, he hit play.

My jaw dropped and tears prickled the back of my eyes as I watched the video. It was Ash and I at the banquet, my body bent over the railing as he nailed me outside from behind for the whole world to see—and tape evidently!

Ash's back was to the lens as his hips slammed in and out of my body. My face was clearly recognizable as he pulled my head back with a firm hand around my neck.

Oh god. . . No, no, no, no, no.

How? How did he get that?!

The air in my lungs seemed to vanish as I threw a hand to my chest and struggled to breathe. Taking long strides deeper into my office, he stalked forward, making sure I could still see the two person show with a sick grin on his face as he enjoyed every second of torture.

My heart was racing and my stomach turned, ready to expel my breakfast onto Clint's shiny black dress shoes.

“Wh—where did you get that?” I asked, doing my best to not just break down and collapse on the floor.

“Get it? I fucking took it. After you ran off on me, I tried to find you so I could make you see more clearly, but you were too busy with everyone else to make any time for me. And then I spotted you two at the bar, and let me tell you, I had to do everything I could to not walk up and knock him on his ass.” His head tilted as he watched me, his smile growing deeper and more sinister. “I saw you two go off, so I did what any worried boyfriend would do, I followed.”

My lip trembled as I tried to hold in the explosive tears threatening to consume me. “But we're not together,” I mustered out, my voice frail and weak. “You're not my boyfriend anymore.”

“You're wrong, you're still mine, Nola, you always will be. And if you think I'm going to allow you to sneak around behind my back with some lowlife asshole, you're wrong.”

“You can't do this.” Veering my stare, I struggled to control my body.

I wanted to breathe, but couldn't; I wanted to scream, but couldn't; I wanted to kick him in the balls and tell him to go fuck himself, but I couldn't.

All I could do was stand motionless, balancing on a tight rope that was my life.

“Stop seeing him, tell me you'll never let him touch you again, and I won't have to do anything.”

“And if I don't?” His fingers swirled across my face, searing my skin. Swatting him away, I growled through clenched teeth. “And if I don't?” I asked again.

“If you don't, then this lovely little sex tape of yours is going to be sent to every major magazine, newspaper, and reporter I can find.” Taking a firm step in, Clint lowered his face closer to mine. His breath stunk of coffee and toothpaste, causing my stomach to cramp.

“I'll burn you to the fucking ground, you and your father's fucking legacy. All of this. . .” Waving his hand around the room, his gaze circled my office ceiling to floor. “I'll destroy it all.” Snapping his cold eyes back to mine, his face contorted as if he was pleased himself. “I'm sure your daddy won't be too happy about that, now will he? Do you think you'll still have any of this after he watches his whore daughter get railed by one of her own employees?”

SLAP!

I couldn't stop it. My hand swept up, open palm, fingers wide, smacking him in that stupid fucking face of his.

“Fuck. You.” Balling my fists, I lifted my head, staring him down. “Get the fuck out of my office!”

Rubbing his cheek, he turned on his heels, and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. “I hope you understand how serious I am, Nola. You'd be really fucking stupid if you thought you could fight me on this.”

“I'll call the cops, I'll tell them you're trying to blackmail me.” My voice fluttered as I tried to steady my vocal cords, hoping I could take control of the situation.

Clint laughed as he looked at me over his shoulder. His long brown hair swept over his eyes, giving his stare a devilish glow. “Do you think they'll believe you? Because they won't, my father funds all their community events. Remember?”  My eyes grew wide, brows dipping in and creating a wrinkle across my forehead. “You're playing with fire, Nola. I'm giving you an easy way out, don't fuck it up anymore than you already have.” He was gone before I even had time to get another word out.

I stood in shock, unsure if what just happened was even real. Flashes of Clint's video kept playing in my head, each frame slow motion and more upsetting than the last.

I was ruined. My world was now hanging by a thread, ready to crash and burn with one little snip.

What the hell am I going to do?

Bolting to the door, I locked it. Resting my back against the glass, it felt like my lungs were being ripped out of my chest and my insides had been doused with gasoline and set ablaze.

Holding a hand to my ribs, I stared off into space as I stumbled like a zombie to my desk. My brain was a swelling mess of worry, anger, sadness, fear. Every emotion that was painful and stung, every feeling that made your blood boil and heart hurt; I felt them all at once, like a freight train hitting a concrete wall.

Slow breathing wasn't calming me down, there was no air making its way into my lungs. Clint had absolutely fucked up my world, he wrapped my neck in a tight noose and was strangling me to death.

Do I tell Ash? Should I tell him about any of this?

I wanted to be honest, to tell him everything, but I didn't know if I should. I wasn't sure how he'd react. I didn't know if he'd go to Clint's office and make a scene. The last thing I needed was this getting out in any way.

All it took was one person to overhear the conversation and that would be it, I'd be royally fucking screwed. Rumors were one thing, but proof, visible proof would destroy everything my father had built.

Oh god, what the hell am I going to do? Dropping my head onto my desk, my arms hung lifelessly by my sides. I'm fucking done, my life is over. . .

The cards had shifted and my Queen Of Pentacles was upside down. I went from having total control, from being on top of the world, into a puddle of unrecognizable mush. This video could destroy me, and it was in the hands of a monster.

The intercom buzzed with Beth's voice. “Ms. Yor—I mean Nola, Clint is wondering what you want for lunch today?”

Lifting my face, the paper calendar stuck to my cheek. Pulling it free, I rubbed the skin. “Tell him nothing, I'm not hungry.”

“Alright, will do.”

A gentle knock caused my head to snap up. Fucking Clint. He just doesn't get it!

“Go away!” I yelled, balling my fists in my lap.

Knock Knock

“I said go away!”

Rat a tat tat tat

My ears perked at the sound, heart racing in my chest. The handle jiggled back and forth, but the door didn't open.

You locked it, you idiot.

Pushing back in the chair, I walked to the door, trying to see through the foggy glass. But all I could make out was a shape. It was definitely a man, but I couldn't tell who it was. The silhouette rocked back and forth, shifting on his heels.

Open the door, Nola.

My hand came out and gripped the thin tab. Turning the lock, I heard the low ping of metal as it popped open.

A thick arm reached forward and the handle moved down slowly. The door creaked open as if I was in a horror movie and the killer was about to pounce. You know those scenes, where you scream at the television, wishing the character could hear you tell them not to open it up.

You shouldn't have done that! Shut it! Lock it!

Don't let him in!

My brain was slapping me sideways for unlocking the door, reminding me that the evil bastard was a stone's throw away. But my heart was screaming that it wasn't the bad guy.

The door swung in so slowly it was torture. Goosebumps pounced across my skin in waves, my hands itched to just lurch out and open it themselves, my feet stayed cemented to the floor, refusing to walk into the danger willingly.

What the hell am I doing?

Ash popped his head inside, his smile broad and soothing. “Hey, I just wanted to make sure you didn't die in here.”

Thinning my lips, my arms loosened and dropped to my sides. Letting out a rush of air, my body relaxed. “It's you.” Sticking my head out the door, I looked around to see if Clint was nearby.

Good, he's gone.

“Yeah it's just me. Beth ran to bathroom, so I figured it's a good time to come see you.” Ash's lids hooded, his mouth twisting with curiosity and concern. “Are you alright?”

Waving my hand, I guided him inside. “Yeah, I'm fine.”

“You sure? You don't look fine, you look tense and upset. Did something happen? I saw that ass talking to you to earlier.”

“I'm fine.” Shaking my head, I took a few steps backwards and looked out the window. “It'll be fine, I'll figure it out.”

“What is it? Maybe I can help, tell me what I can do.” Ash stood beside me, placing his hand on my back and rubbing it with long even strokes.

Tell him, tell him everything. . .

Flicking my eyes onto his, I forced a smile. “Nothing, I can handle it. Don't worry about it, it's not your problem, I'll take care of it.” Wriggling my brows, I bit the inside of my cheek.

I couldn't say it. My thoughts wouldn't articulate into words. I could fix this before anyone else found out, I had to, I didn't have a choice.

There was no way I could risk losing everything. All of this was mine, and the thought of it being gone hurt. I wasn't sure who I'd be without this place.

The tips of his fingers traced my spine, drawing circles across my shoulder blades and back down to the top of my ass. “Are you sure you're alright? Because I'll go fuck up someone if I have to, I'm not above physical violence.”

Leaning into his side, I laid my head on his shoulder and laughed. “Would you really?”

Could he be my hero, my answer to everything?

No. This ends with me.

“I would.” The pads of his fingers walked over my collarbone and kept gliding down until they hit my pebbled nipple. Rubbing the hard bump, he pinched it between his fingers and plucked it softly. “I at least know I can make you feel better.”

Sharp hairs stood up on my arms and my back bent into a hard arch as my breast tingled. His touch was everything. It was relaxing, it was soothing and secure. I wanted to wrap myself around his body, letting him engulf me in the safety of his arms.

No, you can't! You're too close, get away from him!

Lightening crashed around my skull as the video of us on Clint's phone slapped my brain, turning my body stiff.

'Stay away from him.' Clint's voice rang in my head. 'I'll destroy it all.'

My head was battling my heart. I didn't want to think Clint could be so cold. We had known each other since we were kids; we went to school together, we played together, rode bikes together. And when we started dating, I only really agreed because I thought he was the person my father would want me to be with.

It was boldly apparent he didn't give a shit about anyone but himself. And I had been completely wrong to let him into my life to begin with.

He had known since day one that I had slept with Ash. He probably watched the video so many times all he saw was red now. He just couldn't get it in his damn head that there would never be anything between us.

'How do you think he'll feel about seeing his whore daughter get railed by one of her own employees?'

The muscles in my stomach clenched, filling the back of my throat with fire. The thought of my father seeing me like that made me sick. That scared me more than anything.

The idea that my father could be eating dinner one night and clips of the balcony sex could pop up in his news feed or on the television killed me inside. I couldn't embarrass him like that, I couldn't allow that type of shame to hang over his head.

I know what I need to do. I don't have a choice.

“You know what,” I said softly, trying to find the strength to say what I needed to help us both. “I think we should take this a little slower. . .” Looking up at him, I pulled his arm off my shoulder and took a step to the side.

Cocking a brow, Ash eyed me. “Slower?”

“Yeah, slower. I mean we just met, I'm your new boss, this kind of thing is usually forbidden.” I tried to act casual, as if this was my idea and not a threat from the ex with a knife to my throat.

Veering his stare, his brows dropped hard as he stepped into me, softly cupping my face. “This doesn't sound like the same person who was screaming for me to go deeper and harder last night.”

Fuck his hand felt so good on my skin, his voice soothing and arousing all in the same breath. My body reacted instantly, swelling in all the right places, pushing the blood through my muscles and turning me weak.

The video! Did you forget the video?!

Reaching up, I gently pulled his hand away. “I've just been thinking about how this looks, Ash, and this doesn't look good for either of us.”

“Well that's a load of shit, because I know you look good on me.” Pursing his lips, he tried to lean in and kiss me.

Fuck did I want to kiss him back. But I had to get ahead of this thing before Clint did something stupid, something he'd never be able to undo, something that would forever live on the internet like mold on a shower wall.

Turning my face, his lips hit my cheek. Giving me a weird look, Ash let his arms fall to his sides. “What's going on, Nola?”

Tell him!

“Nothing, it's not personal, Ash, I just have a ton of stuff to do here. And honestly, I don't know if trying to fit a relationship in the mix is a good thing. I hardly have time for myself, I just don't think this will work with us.”

I was mute, never allowing the truth to come out of my mouth.

“Really?” he asked, not believing me for a second.

Turning away from him, I walked over to my desk and started fiddling with the papers on top. “Look, I'm sorry, it was fun, but that's all it was, just fun. You and I both know that this wasn't going to go anywhere.”

“You're not serious.” Stroking his jaw, he rocked it side to side. “Where was this last night when you were riding my face and begging for more? Where was this when you let me fuck you with my fingers in the back of the cab or when I took you on that desk? How about when I held you after you came and wrapped you in my arms until you fell asleep?”

“Ash—”

He cut me off, his voice turning thick. “Where was this when you left my place this morning and kissed me goodbye? People who just want fun, only do it once. They leave and don't look back. They don't accept dinner invitations, they don't look at you the way you've looked at me—and they don't kiss you goodbye.”

Leaning against my desk, I clutched the edge and kept my gaze on the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes because I knew none of this was true.

But my hands were tied, I was bound and gagged. This was the only way out, the only way to make sure that tape never made it to the surface.

“I think you should just go back to work now, Ash.”

“Yeah, that's exactly what I'll do, I'll just go back to work.” With heavy feet, he stomped to the door and tore it open. Slamming it shut, I was left alone, feeling horrible about myself.

You're doing the right thing; for you, for the business, for Dad, and for Ash. . .

Then why do I feel like shit?

Dropping into my chair, I cupped my face and hung my head.

I just forced out the only person I ever actually wanted.

It had to be this way.

But is it worth it?