Nola

Closing my door, I tried to find the good in what happened. With Ash gone, Clint would have no reason to show that tape to anyone. This company would remain safe, my father's name would stay clear.

My world would remain whole.

That's all that matters.

Is that all that matters?

I wanted to believe myself. But it was really hard to think of any of this as good. If it was truly good, I wouldn't feel like I had lost something so amazing. If my life had been so great to begin with, I wouldn't feel so hurt that Ash was gone.

But what was I supposed to do?

I had never felt like my life was so out of control.

Every magazine and newsroom would have a field day with a story like that. My name would be in the headlines, my father's reputation would be shot. We'd never see the light of day if my ass was on the front page of newspapers and every blog or competitor was blasting our name into the ground.

I was saving my father from complete embarrassment. I was saving his creation—our creation.

He would be destroyed if he learned that his protege—his own daughter had done something so stupid. I would never be able to look him in the eyes again.

What the fuck did I do? How could I be so reckless?

“Nola, Clint would like to see you in his office.”

“Tell him I'm busy.” The last thing I wanted was to see that man.

“He says it's important.” Beth's voice was vibrating, still shaken by the scene she just watched.

Tapping my desk with the tips of my fingers, I debated if I should go.

Go, you can end this now. Tell him he got what he wanted, now the tape could be destroyed.

Walking with my head down, I dragged my feet through the hall. Standing outside his door, I lifted my knuckles and knocked lightly.

“Come in,” he called out, as if he didn't know who was behind the wood.

Opening the door, I let it swing inward, staying outside the threshold. “What?”

“Do you understand what come in means?”

“I understand it perfectly, but I'd rather not. What do you want?”

Taking in a deep breath, he tilted his head as he stared at me. “Please, just come inside. Unless you want the entire office to hear our conversation, maybe they can give you some tips on angles and lighting for your next movie.”

Grounding my teeth down, I held my tongue. I wasn't going to make this worse, I wasn't going to give him anything else he could use against me.

Stepping inside his office, I shut the door behind me. “Better?” I asked, making sure he could hear the annoyance in my voice.

“Stop, you're acting like a child.” Waving his hand, he pointed. “Sit, come on, lets have a normal conversation like two adults.”

“I'd rather stand, and don't give me that shit about a normal conversation.” Snapping my hip out, I tipped my head up and looked down at him. “You got what you wanted, Ash is gone, and it looks like you made sure he was gone for good. Nice job with that one, really smooth on your part. It's not bad enough that you're blackmailing me, you had to get him yanked off the property by security, bravo. You are so fucking lucky that our fathers are friends, otherwise you wouldn't be here.”

“Babe, stop. You'd never fire me, I'd slap a lawsuit on you so fast it would slice you in two. We both know I'm good at what I do, that's why I'm second in command here.” Softening his eyes, he pouted his lips. “Look, you're upset, I get it, but you know this is for the best.”

“Don't, don't you dare try to make this into something good.” Taking a firm step forward, I gripped the back of the chair. “This isn't what I wanted. And if you think you can just keep holding this over my head, you're wrong.”

“Wrong? I'm never wrong.” Pressing his chest against the edge of his desk, he stabbed the top with a firm finger. “I did what had to be done. You're my girl, no one else's.”

Thinning my lips, I cocked my head. “I will never be your girl, not ever again. Did you really think that doing this would make me come running back to you? Are you that fucking deluded?”

His smirk sickened me, making me hate him even more. I didn't think that was even possible at this point.

“I know you can't see it now, but I did you a favor. Do you know who Ash Devoy really is? Do you know why he got fired from Inked?”

My neck went stiff as I held my ribs. I honestly had no clue. HR was responsible for background checks and making sure all the I's were dotted and T's were crossed.

“You have no clue, do you?” Chuckling, Clint dragged his hand over his head and down his cheeks. “Wow, I should have known your head was too far up his ass to see the truth. He's the guy who put a cock pic on their cover right before it went into print. Is that the type of guy you want to be with?” Not giving me time to answer, he said, “I don't think so, and he's certainly not someone we want working here, representing us either. I don't know how that passed through HR, but you should be thanking me.”

I probably should have cared about something like that, but I didn't. I didn't really give a shit about his past. It felt like I already knew Ash and who he was.

He was the man who made me smile for different reasons. He was the man who made me feel beautiful all over.

And I gave it up for what?

For power?

For money?

For a world that gave me nothing back?

I was no better than the man who was holding me hostage.

People did things they regretted, people made choices they were not proud of. And sometimes people acted before they thought things through.

We're all human, mistakes and poor decisions happen, it's part of life.

I acted, I didn't think.

That's how we got here to begin with.

“Are we done here? Was that it?” I asked, turning my eyes into slits. “Did you just call me here so you could tell me some stupid childish story about Ash to make yourself look better?”

“He really got to you, huh?” Licking his lips, Clint's mouth parted as he glared at me. “It really doesn't bother you that he could be a liability?”

“Liability? Whether he did to a cover of another magazine, really doesn't fucking matter to me. The liability here is you.” Throwing my finger at his face, my lips curled up into an angry scowl. “I did what you asked, I broke it off with him. So erase the video and we can be done with this.”

“Erase it?” Clint looked at me like I was stupid, as if I had just asked him if the stuff in the history books was true. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I did what you wanted, I ended it with him. Now he's gone and you have no reason to keep it anymore. Delete it, Clint—now.”

“No, I don't think so. If I delete it, you'll just go running back to that ass and that would defeat the purpose of this entire thing. I'm not getting rid of this video, this is my golden ticket.”

“Golden ticket to what?!” My arms flew in the air, wild and untamed. “I did what you wanted, what more is there?!”

“Dinner, tomorrow night at your father's house. I haven't seen the old bastard in a few months, I'd like to visit.”

Slicing the air with my hand, I sternly shook my head. “No, not a chance in hell. I told you we were done, I meant that. I'm not going to let you do this to me, it's wrong.”

“You don't have a choice.” His voice turned to stone, hitting me in the heart as he spoke. “I own you, Nola.”

“Screw you, Clint.” Storming out of the room, my heels pounded into the floor as I made my way back to my office.

I won't let him control me like this.

I have to do something.

Beth attempted to stop me as I approached her desk, but I ignored her, slamming the door behind me as I entered.

My phone pinged on my desk, so I picked it up. Inside I was hoping it was Ash, telling me he was alright and that he didn't hate me for any of this.

Swiping the screen, my eyes honed in on the tiny attachment and words in the green bubble.

'Just so you don't forget what's on the line here, maybe you need to see it again.'

The video began to play, my moans loud and audible. You could hear Ash grunting as he drove into me from behind, and the soft slap of skin on skin.

Another message came through, even more threatening and demeaning. 'This will never go away, Nola. Get used to being my bitch, I fucking own you forever. Never forget that.'

Dropping my phone on the ground, I fell to my knees and cried.

I had lost all hope. I had lost the strength to go on anymore.

Curling into a ball on the five by eight oriental rug, I hugged my knees to my chest and cried.

I spent my life thinking that I was the glue that would keep this enterprise running. I had worked hard, I had put everything into this place.

I gave up the normalcies of youth, I gave up friendships, memories, laughs, love—and for what?

To be stripped of it all by some selfish prick who only cared about his ego?

My world was crashing around me and the safety of the chrysalis I had nestled into was cracking, but there wasn't a beautiful butterfly emerging with glorious wings. I was a disfigured moth, lost and weak, distraught and sad.

I was withering away, dissolving into someone I didn't recognize or understand. Folding into myself, the tears streamed down my face as I tried to look for a balance in the new world forming before my eyes.

Sniffling, Ash's face kept exploding into my mind. I had wronged him and that hurt.

I had taken a deal from the devil and it left me feeling empty. I had it all; money, notoriety, power, but I didn't have the one thing that made me truly happy. . .

I didn't have the man who made my heart come alive.

I didn't have the person who made me feel like everything else wasn't important.

I traded him for a world I wasn't sure I wanted anymore.

What do I do?