Chapter Twenty-Five
He’d missed her call.
Bugger.
Zane had been building up the courage to call Bea himself. He couldn’t believe she had beaten him to it. And he’d missed it.
The anger he’d felt when he saw her name pop up on his phone, showing she had called over three hours ago, was still coursing through his system. He’d been thrown into an immediate frenzy, panicking that if he didn’t call her back right away, she might really be lost to him forever.
But when he went to return her call, his finger had paused over the send button.
He wasn’t sure where the uncertainty had come from. He had been so sure of things with her that time in the stockroom. But her comments were still swirling around in his head, and he couldn’t seem to organize his thoughts.
What was he actually going to say to her when she answered?
Yes, he had run off to London. But he was giving her the space she’d asked for. He wasn’t sure he could stay away from her much longer, though. The only problem was, some of the things she’d said had struck an uncomfortable chord with him, causing seeds of doubt to cloud his decision now.
To avoid agonizing, he had thrown himself into work after arriving in London. Peter hadn’t questioned his early return, but Zane knew he could sense something was amiss.
Today, in a moment of weakness—or desperation—he caved and finally decided to ask his annoyingly astute mate for relationship advice.
God help me.
So he was now sitting with Peter in his front room. He and Sara had invited him over for dinner, and she had taken their daughter Annabelle off to bed, leaving them to catch up.
“So, yeah…um,” Zane began, deciding to just lay it all out.
Peter looked over at him. “Yes?”
“Bea and I…”
Peter’s eyes widened and he pointed at Zane’s face. “I bloody knew it!” He immediately lowered his voice when he remembered his daughter was sleeping. “I knew there was something going on between you two. You talk about that woman like the sun shines out of her arse.”
Zane glared at him. “Don’t talk about her arse.”
Peter at least had the decency to look apologetic. “Sorry. But blimey, why am I just now hearing about this? This is vital information for a best mate. Have you replaced me with some American plonker? I might be a bit jealous.”
Zane scoffed, but half of it was a laugh. “Shut it. I don’t know. I didn’t want you to think less of her. That she wasn’t acting professionally.”
“Well, I definitely do think less of her for sleeping with you, but that’s more of a judgment issue.” Peter grunted when Zane punched his arm, though it didn’t diminish his grin. “So tell me about it. Was she good?”
When Zane shot him another murderous glare, he put his hands up in surrender.
“I’m not going to answer that,” Zane told him sharply. “I’ll just say the woman is fucking gorgeous.”
Peter nodded knowingly. “So you had a fun romp in the sack with a coworker. See, now what did I tell you? Isn’t your life more fun when you listen to me? Made the States a bit more interesting, didn’t it?”
“That’s putting it mildly.”
“Speaking of Bea, have they given you an answer about the design contract yet?”
He had lied to Peter when he’d first arrived in London, claiming that Bea and Felicity had to assess their project schedule before giving them an answer about extending the contract. None of that was true, of course. He had just been trying to avoid this exact conversation.
“No, not yet,” Zane answered, his voice coming out curt. Apparently, he was still more frustrated with Bea than he’d thought. He missed her like crazy, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to strangle her for being so damn contrary. “I swear that woman can drive me up the wall. She’s all soft and agreeable one minute, then she’s spitting fire at you the next. And it doesn’t help that my cock seems to find both of those sides equally appealing. It’s maddening.”
There were several moments of silence until Peter let out a deep breath. “Bloody hell,” he said, amusement lacing his words.
Zane met his eyes. “What?”
Peter raised his brows. “You like her. Dare I say, you might actually love the woman?”
Zane didn’t even attempt to deny it. He just rubbed the back of his neck and remained silent.
“Holy shit. That’s why you came back early? Because of her?”
Zane bent forward, burying his face in his hands. “Yes.”
“Bless my soul, it’s a miracle.”
He heard the noise of electronic buttons being pushed and looked up to see Peter typing into his phone. “What are you doing?”
Peter didn’t even spare him a glance. “I’m booking the hall right now. Because if you’ve found yourself a girl who’s willing to marry your ugly arse, there’s no time to waste. She might change her mind.”
Zane snatched the phone out of his friend’s hand and sat on it. “She’s already changed her mind, you git. If you haven’t noticed, she didn’t come back with me. There’s a reason I left early in the first place.”
Peter finally looked serious. “Which is?”
Zane told him everything that had transpired, including what had led to him fleeing to London to seek advice from his unhelpful friend.
“So let me get this straight,” Peter said, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “You left the country in order to give her space, but without telling her? And you haven’t spoken to her since?”
Zane nodded. “That’s about right.”
“Unbelievable,” Peter said, shaking his head. “You’ve bloody lost the plot, mate.”
Zane knitted his brow in confusion. “How?”
“She thinks you’ve left her for good, man. Think about it. You haven’t contacted her, didn’t answer the phone when she called you, and she has no idea if you’re ever coming back to the States. Pretty much every woman in the world would take all of that as a sign you’re done with the relationship.”
Zane thought about it, looking at everything from her point of view, and came to the same conclusion. “Bugger me,” he said on a groan.
“Yeah. That’s something you might want to sort out, and soon.”
Except he wasn’t sure anything had changed on her end. Though she had called him, so that had to mean something, didn’t it? Perhaps she was ready to talk, and hopefully mend things between them.
He could only hope.
“What if she says she still needs space?”
“You’ve given her over a month and left the country. I’d say that’s space enough.”
Ah, but Bea was a different breed of woman. Just because it made sense to him didn’t mean it was the right answer.
“She said I was controlling,” he murmured. “That I was overbearing and needed to back off because I was crowding her. She actually used the word ‘suffocating.’”
Or maybe he’d said that. He couldn’t remember anymore.
“And she’d be right,” Peter said flatly.
Zane peeked up through his lashes, fearful of seeing the truth in Peter’s eyes. “Am I really that bad?”
Peter tipped his head back, rolling his eyes. “Do you never listen to me? I’ve been telling you that for years. Yet it takes a stacked woman with a southern accent for you to actually hear it…”
“Mention one more thing about her body and I’m going to lay you out.”
“Okay, fine,” Peter said. “But seriously. Do you not remember what you said when I first mentioned you taking the position in the States?”
A lot of things were said during those conversations. “Perhaps you could be a bit more specific,” Zane suggested.
Peter sighed. “Oh, I love you, mate, but you can be so oblivious sometimes. You said you didn’t know if you could leave her for that long.”
Zane’s mother.
Well, her grave. All that remained of her.
He visited her there every week, like clockwork. He brought her flowers, told her about his life. It had been that way ever since he and his father had first put her there. Over the years, he’d never been able to move too far away from her.
It was the one and only thing that could keep him in London.
He just couldn’t leave her.
“I’m not yet seeing your point.”
“Zane,” Peter said in a quieter voice, “I know how much you blame yourself for your mum’s death. I was there when it happened, and I’ve seen how it’s changed you. But you need to let that guilt go. You were a kid. There was nothing you could have done.”
Zane didn’t want to go there. “I still don’t see how this translates to my controlling side.”
Peter pursed his lips then continued, “It’s as if you think you could have stopped your mum from leaving that night, thereby preventing her death. And because you didn’t, you perceive that a lack of control means something bad is going to happen. Always.”
“I didn’t realize I was here for a session, Dr. Freud,” Zane said flatly. “How much am I being billed?”
Peter ignored him. “Look at Envision,” he said. “I offered to share the CEO position with you, but you would rather be out there overseeing operations, making sure that everything goes according to your plan. Basically you have your hands on everything. It’s a pattern with you, mate. And it seems Bea hasn’t gotten used to it like the rest of us have, or she doesn’t want to get used to it.”
Zane held his hands out. “Should I just ignore my instincts? Leave everything up to chance?”
Peter shook his head. “It’s not about chance. It’s about trusting in people. You care about others and you have a big heart, but I think it’s difficult for you to have faith in people. That’s a dangerous road to travel down. It leads to cynicism and bitterness.”
“But I do have faith in Bea,” Zane said, frustrated. “I trust her more than anyone else. I don’t know why she can’t see that.”
“Because you have to show her,” Peter countered. “Hovering and always trying to take over whatever she’s doing shows a lack of faith in her ability. To her, it’s you not trusting her. You have to show her otherwise.”
Zane digested that for a long moment. The picture was not flattering.
But slowly he realized, dammit, his friend was right.
He felt his jaw tighten, determination setting in. The more he thought about his relationship with Bea, the more certain he became. He could not let her slip through his fingers. He’d do whatever he must to keep her, even if it meant listening to his smug friend.
“How?” he demanded.
“Do what she says and give her some room to breathe at work. She knows what she’s doing, so make sure she knows you trust her judgment. She wants to feel valued, not constantly questioned.”
Zane quirked an eyebrow. “That means I would have to convince her to move to London.”
Peter shot him a look over the rim of his beer bottle. “Or it means that you would have to move to the States. On a more permanent basis.”
Was he serious? “How would that work with Envision and the new stores?”
Peter shrugged. “I can handle things with the stores here in London. As much as I’ve missed you this past year, I’ve also realized I need you in charge of operations over there. We’ll have three branches and four stores in the U.S. by the end of next year. No one can manage that better than you.”
“And you decided to wait until now to bring this up with me?”
Peter grinned. The smug bastard. “I wanted to see how you’d acclimate to life over there. You’re welcome for that, by the way.”
Zane rolled his eyes, but his voice came out serious. “I still don’t know if I can leave her.”
Peter leaned forward and slapped him on the back. “Your mum knew you loved her, mate,” he said, “and that her accident wasn’t your fault. She wouldn’t want guilt to keep you from living your life. Listen to me. You can’t allow something that happened years ago—something you couldn’t control—to prevent you from being with the woman you want.”
Bloody hell, he was right.
Zane fell back against the sofa cushions, his head about to explode with self-recriminations. He was a grown man, and he hadn’t thought there was much more he could change about himself.
He was wrong.
“How is it I’ve reached such a low I’m coming to you for relationship advice?” Zane asked in bewilderment.
Peter chuckled, propping his feet on the ottoman. “Well, first, I knew you’d come to me with your tail between your legs one day, crying about a girl. I’ve told you that myself. And two, marriage changes a man, mate. If a new husband doesn’t learn the ways of the female mind right off, he’ll quickly find himself heading for the divorce courts.” He looked over his shoulder and yelled, “Right, darling?”
“Exactly!” came Sara’s voice from the kitchen.
Zane groaned inwardly. “She’s been listening the whole time?”
“Yes!” Sara replied before Peter could. “And for once, my dear husband actually knows what he’s talking about!”
Peter winked at him. “No privacy in marriage, mate. Something to look forward to.”
That was actually fine with Zane because he didn’t want privacy from Bea.
Wait, had he just put marriage in the same sentence with Bea?
Hell, did he want to marry her?
Fuck, yeah.
He still had some work to do before that could happen, but he was definitely putting it on his to-do list.
Because before he could get her to marry him, he first had to get her to date him.