Chapter Twenty-Six
Bea had been grumpy before her talk with Felicity. Now she was downright melancholy. When Zane hadn’t answered her phone call, she had become despondent, assuming it was the end of them. And that had sent her into a tailspin.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she was at herself for the way she’d handled things with him. For not seeing the error of her ways sooner. It also didn’t help that she was horny as hell, seeing as how she hadn’t been touched—not even by herself—since he left.
Spending Thanksgiving with her family in Alabama had helped to temporarily distract her from the mess she had made of her life. But as she and Felicity flew back into DC, she realized she needed to face the facts again. And she was going to need a lot of wine to do it.
She was so irritable that instead of handling her luggage carefully while hauling it out of the trunk of the cab, she tossed it onto the sidewalk in disgust.
“What did that suitcase ever do to you?” Felicity asked.
She gritted her teeth. “It exists.”
Felicity nodded once. “Copy that.”
Bea couldn’t even laugh or make a joke as Felicity struggled to pull her own giant suitcase up the concrete steps of their stoop. Four of her sister could have fit inside that suitcase—the top of it literally came to her waist—but Bea couldn’t even crack a smile.
My God. Was she even the same person anymore?
She dropped her bag as soon as she stepped inside the door, and headed straight for the wine rack. Thank God it was stocked. She was tempted to drink right out of the bottle, but she forced herself to maintain some decorum and grabbed a glass.
As Bea gratefully poured out her liquid therapy, the doorbell started ringing.
She ignored it. Felicity could answer. They sometimes had packages for the business delivered to their place, and she wasn’t sure she could handle anyone else on the planet right then, let alone a rude delivery guy. It rang a second time.
“Hey, short stack!” she yelled. “You want to get the door?”
No answer.
The doorbell rang a third time.
Well, damn it to hell.
She took off for the door, stomping and grunting and cursing the inventor of doorbells. God help the poor bastard out there waiting for her to sign for that package, because he was about to get a whole lot of angry woman in his face. It didn’t help that she tripped over her own damn suitcase on the way. She got her revenge, though, by unleashing holy hell on the luggage, kicking the crap out of it before she got to the doorknob.
All she wanted was to be left alone with her pity. And her wine. Was that so much to ask?
She whipped open the door with a manic, “What?” her hair and eyes wild, no doubt presenting an image that would have made most men piss their pants.
But she almost pissed her own when she saw who was standing on her doorstep.
Her British crumpet. Her very own English muffin.
Zane was standing there with a nervous expression on his face, and a single white lily in his hand.
Bea’s anger evaporated in an instant.
He’d come back!
She quickly tried to straighten her hair and clothes. Of course the first time he saw her in almost two months had to be when she was having a Fatal Attraction moment. Minus the whole boiling bunny scene because, shit, she wasn’t that crazy.
“Hi,” Zane said softly.
Her heart melted at hearing his voice again after so long, her insides fluttering around like butterflies on crack.
She tried to keep the shock from showing on her face. “Prince Charming returns at last. What did you do, swim back?”
“Very funny,” he answered. “Can I come in?” His eyes were pleading as he waited for her reaction.
A woman would have to have a will of sheer iron to turn away a man when he looked at her like that.
Not that she intended to.
But suddenly she was burning up and needed the cool afternoon air to calm her down. She stepped forward onto the top step, forcing him to move back, and closed the door behind her. “We can talk out here.”
Okay, now she was too cold. She crossed her arms over her chest, wishing she had grabbed her jacket, and waited for him to speak first. She knew what she wanted to say to him but wanted to go second. Just in case.
He looked into her eyes and extended the lily to her.
“I came to apologize for what happened that night at the store.”
She accepted the flower with a small smile, and a big inner whoosh of relief. “I’m sorry, too.”
The corner of his mouth tilted up. “I wasn’t trying to push you into the contract, but I know I approached the conversation all wrong. I was just eager to talk to you about it. I didn’t mean to act controlling. The whole thing was bad timing on my part. And wrong of me to throw all of that on you at once.”
She remained silent, the pain in her heart growing bigger and bigger the longer he spoke. He’d come about the contract? She had almost forgotten about the damn thing. Her misery had been focused on everything said before and after he’d brought up the contract that night.
“Okay. And?” she prompted when he didn’t continue.
His smile slowly faded. “And what?”
“Is there anything else you’d like to apologize for?”
His forehead creased, his body tensing. “Such as?”
Was he really going to make her say it? Because she had no problem with that.
“You left!”
His face froze in astonishment, and she went on before he could say anything.
“You ran off to merry ol’ London without a word, and didn’t contact me for almost two freaking months, Zane! Maybe you should apologize for that ill-conceived plan instead.”
He looked completely baffled. “Have you forgotten you wouldn’t answer any of my calls or texts? And there were a lot, by the way. You told me you wanted space, so I gave you space to work through whatever the hell it was you had to work through. I gave you what you wanted.”
She rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. “I didn’t ask you to move across a damned ocean! Once I finished dealing with my issues, how were we supposed to fix things with you thousands of miles away?”
“You knew I was leaving,” he said. “You knew from the beginning, but it never seemed to bother you.”
“Well, it did! I thought you were gone for good.”
He backed down the stoop a couple of steps, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand you. You say one thing, and I do it, giving you what you asked for, and then you bite my head off. How am I supposed to know what you really want?”
She wanted to shake him. “I was just asking for a break, a little distance. But not that much distance for two freaking months.”
He looked back up at her, fire filling his eyes. Damn, he looked good like that, all passion and strength.
“How was I supposed to know that?” he demanded. “To my ears it sounded like you were done with us. You wouldn’t talk to me, so I assumed you didn’t care either way.”
God, she hated it when her sister was right.
But she still didn’t feel he was being completely fair. “And you didn’t think I’d want to know when—or if—you were coming back?” she asked. “I mean, I may have wanted to take a breather, but I’m not the one who just up and left without a word.”
His lips thinned. “Well, maybe I needed to think, too.”
Pain pierced her heart again. Was him needing to think a good or a bad thing? “About what?” she made herself ask.
He stared at the cars driving by for several moments before answering. Then he looked back up at her. “You said some things that night that no one had ever brought to my attention before,” he said in a quiet voice. “Or maybe I just never paid attention before. I suppose I just needed to reflect and get some things squared away in my head. Figure out where I want to go from here.”
Oh, shit. That sounded…scary. And final.
She swallowed the giant lump that had settled in her throat. “And did you?”
She held her breath, waiting for his answer.
“I did. It’s the reason I’m standing here now.” His eyes were dark and intent, pinning her in place. “But none of it matters if you aren’t…interested.”
Oh, damn. This was it. The moment she had to buck up and take that plunge into the forbidden land of commitment.
She took a steadying breath. “Then I guess this is where I should apologize, too.”
His eyes softened a touch at those words. “You—”
She held up a hand. “No, let me finish.” She couldn’t let herself stop until she’d said what she needed to say. “I’m sorry for reacting the way I did and not explaining myself properly. For taking my insecurities out on you. And for being too stubborn to tell you how I feel when you asked me.”
“How you feel?” he almost whispered.
“Yes,” she replied, her voice a little shaky. “How I felt then, and how I still feel.”
He mounted the two steps to reach her. “And…how do you feel?”
Do it, she told herself firmly.
Don’t think, just say it.
“Like there’s no point to my life if you’re not in it,” she admitted, laying all her cards—and her heart—on the table.
Something she hadn’t dared risk in a long time.
She worked up the nerve to glance up at him. His smile was slowly growing, his face brightening.
When he didn’t respond, she started fidgeting, telling herself not to feel foolish because she had finally been honest with him. It needed to be said. He deserved her honesty, and—
“I haven’t laughed in months.”
Her head snapped up.
A look of determination hardened his features. “I’ve barely smiled,” he said. “Because those things belong to you. My laughs, my smiles, my happiness. All of it. I’ve come here today to ask if you’d be willing to take on that responsibility—to bring them back.”
He took a step closer and brought his hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her jaw. “I know it’s scary, and I know it’s going to take some work. We both have things we need to improve upon, especially me. But I want to work on them with you. For you. You’re the only person who’s made me want to be a better version of myself. And I need you with me.” He rested his forehead against hers. “Because I miss laughing, Bea. I miss smiling. And I miss being happy, with you.”
Sweet relief.
Her heart felt as light as a feather. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so…free.
Huh. That was surprising. Once upon a time—not so very long ago—she had been convinced that committing to a relationship was the last legal form of slavery in this country. She would never have imagined feeling the sense of liberation that was coursing through her now. As though nothing was holding her back from doing anything she wanted.
Anything in the world.
It was one of those moments when she expected dozens of white doves to suddenly burst into the sky all around them, or a church choir to start singing, “Hallelujah!”
But there was one last thing that needed to be said before allowing herself the kiss they had been denied for two months. “I’ll move to London.” She felt his body go still. “If it means I get to be with you, I’ll move tomorrow. I just need you, wherever that might be.”
The laugh he released sounded both relieved and disbelieving. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. But you don’t have to move.”
She stared up at him, her heart stuttering in her throat.
His grin spread. “I’m moving here to DC Running all U.S. operations. Permanently.”
Relief whooshed through her.
She was so happy right now, all she wanted to do was wrap herself around him and demand he take her straight up to her bedroom. But she made herself ask the hardest question of all. “If Paxton Designs takes the contract, there will have to be some boundaries between you and me, at least at work. Can you handle that?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“And if I ever say I need space again, you’ll understand I just mean I want some alone time for a few hours? You won’t go moving to another country?”
He chuckled. “Yes to all of that.” He tipped his head. “But if you use it as an excuse and try to run away from whatever problems we might have, don’t be surprised if I refuse and lock us away in our bedroom until we’ve sorted them out.”
She finally let loose her smile. “I can live with that.” She threw her arms around him and brought their mouths closer together. “And no more trips to London without me, okay?”
He met her smile with his. “Peter has ordered me to stick around DC for the foreseeable future. The man’s in love, too, so he understands what it’s like to be away from that one special person.”
She stopped breathing, everything around her coming to a halt. Not from panic as before, but— “Wait. Did you say ‘too’?”
He nodded, a gleam in his eyes. “I did.”
“You’re… You’re in love with me?”
He hugged her closer. “Oh, haven’t I said that?”
She smacked his arm. “No, you haven’t.”
He just laughed. “Yes, Bea, I am in love with you,” he said into her hair. “And I want a real relationship with you. I want us to be an official couple, with the boyfriend and girlfriend titles, and everything. I want all of that, if you’ll have me.”
She was so overjoyed she thought she might float away. She couldn’t believe they were finally right where they should be. It felt like this moment had been an eternity in the making, waiting for him to come back to her. And say all the words she’d longed to hear. Every last one of them.
“I love you, too,” she whispered. “So much.”
His eyes fell closed and he brought his mouth to hers. But before their lips touched, two pigeons took off in flight only feet from them. They both jumped back in surprise.
She had to laugh. Not exactly white doves—apparently, pigeons were the best she could manage—but they would do. With a flurry of wings, they flew into the sky and disappeared. The moment was perfect. She could practically hear the church choir.
She took it as a sign.
Then he finally, finally, finally covered her mouth with his, and they both released moans of pleasure.
He tasted just as she remembered, like bourbon and cinnamon, and pure masculinity. Although her lips hadn’t forgotten the feel of his, this kiss felt very different than any of the kisses that had come before. The emotions they had finally revealed made it deeper, more meaningful. And it was fueled by desires she no longer had to repress.
The passion between them hadn’t fizzled, that was for sure. It had only gotten hotter, flaring brighter now. The hunger she felt for him was more potent—more urgent—than ever before.
For the first time, she had given him permission to claim her fully, and he’d done the same. There was a sense of belonging buzzing in the air, and it was having a very primitive, carnal effect on her. She figured they should probably move the party inside before they started grinding against each other in broad daylight.
She pulled away before they got completely swept up in the passion. She took his hand and turned to lead him inside, but then squealed when he threw her up over his shoulder and carried her over the threshold.
Felicity’s jaw dropped at seeing them like that. “Um. What are you doing with my sister?”
He glanced over his shoulder with a grin on the way to the bedroom. “My intentions are entirely dishonorable.”
“And I can’t wait,” Bea assured her sister. “By the way,” she added as an afterthought, “you lost our bet. Gabe the Babe will be waiting for your call!”
She giggled at Felicity’s bewildered expression as Zane strolled into Bea’s bedroom and shut the door. Neither sister had ever expected her to turn into a one-man woman. Never in a million years. But a bet was a bet. And she had won fair and square. If she could make the leap, so could Felicity.
Finally, Bea and Zane were behind her locked bedroom door. He set her on her feet and her laughter faded. Desire made her temperature spike. Need made her fingers tingle. She would die if she didn’t get her hands on him in the next three seconds.
Realization suddenly struck, and her hands paused on the buttons of his shirt. “You’re the first man I’ve ever brought in here,” she whispered in shock.
His expression heated even further. “And I’m damn sure going to be the last.”
She bit her lower lip teasingly. “Confident, much?”
The sound that rumbled out of his chest was half laugh, half groan. “That I’m going to keep you forever? That I’ve ruined you for any other man as I told you I would? That you’re mine?” He framed her face in his hands, looking straight into her soul. “Yes. I’m pretty confident about that.”
“Good,” she said, laying her hands over his. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?”
She laid a soft kiss on his palm. “I promise. Consider this bed your new home, because I’m never letting you leave it.”
He walked her backward and gently eased her onto the bed. He followed until his body was covering hers, and then pressed his hardness into her. She sucked in a breath at the long-awaited contact.
“Home sweet home,” he purred.
He kissed her slowly, deeply. Stealing her breath as he conquered her mouth. Fireworks shot off behind her eyelids at the feeling of absolute joy washing over her. She never knew the man of her dreams existed in real life. Never knew her mind could even conjure up such an idea.
Yet here he was.
The man of her dreams, in her arms. The owner of her heart.
Exceeding all her expectations. Fulfilling all her hopes and desires. Offering her the ultimate happiness.
Safe shelter for her heart.
He pulled back and gazed down at her, nothing but love shining in his beautiful blue eyes.
“Are we really doing this?” she asked.
He returned her soft smile. “We really are, luv.”
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