Chapter Nine

~Hannah~

I’M NOT GOING IN that water. Not today, not ever.

I stare down into the lake, not even hearing the voices around me. It’s the Fourth of July, just three weeks after being on a different lake with Brad up in the park. But this is different. This lake killed a young boy this summer, and I will not touch the water.

We all gathered at Jacob and Grace’s house on the lake a few hours ago. And by we all, I mean Brad and me, Jenna, Max, along with Grace and Jacob of course.

And let’s not forget Brad’s parents.

They just arrived in town for the remainder of the summer, and I’m meeting them for the first time today, on a pontoon boat.

On killer water.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Mary Hull says with a smile and takes a sip of her cold can of Coke. “I’m so happy that we get to spend the day with you.”

I nod and force a smile, trying desperately to calm down. But some of our group is on a ski boat, tubing and water skiing, in the water, and I just can’t breathe.

I’m terrified.

Not that I’ll let anyone else here know that.

“Hannah?” Grace asks, frowning.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked you what kind of medicine you practice, dear,” Mary says. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I clear my throat and try to focus, ignoring the fact that Brad is currently water skiing in the water. “I’m sorry, my mind wandered. I am an OB/GYN. I share a practice here in town.”

“How lovely,” Mary says with a smile. “It must be wonderful to deliver babies into the world.”

“It’s hard work, and sometimes sad, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“The guys are having fun,” Grace says, pointing to the boat whizzing by about a hundred yards away. Max is in the water now, with Brad, Jacob, Jenna, and Bruce, Brad’s dad, in the boat. “I can’t water ski. I’d drown.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Mary says with a laugh.

“Oh, I would,” Grace assures her. “I’m as clumsy as they come. My name is not appropriate for me.”

We all laugh and I finally start to relax. I decide to go up to the roof of the pontoon boat so I can sit in the sun for a little bit and just be calm.

Just be.

“If you ladies will excuse me, I’m going to soak in some sun.”

“Won’t you burn?” Mary asks.

“I’m the only redhead I know who tans,” I reply with a shrug. “But I won’t stay out for long.”

They both nod happily and I can hear them chatting away as I climb the ladder to the top of the boat. This is an impressive watercraft. With two levels, a slide off the back, and seating for twenty, it’s huge. Even this upper deck has an umbrella I can open for shade if I get too hot.

I could live on this boat.

And the best part is, there’s no chance of falling into the water the way I did when we went kayaking. That was humiliating, but we laughed it off and had a great day.

I don’t want there to be any chance that I could fall into this water. I know that Brad made sure the electrical issue was fixed, but it still happened. Someone died.

I don’t want to chance it.

You’re being unreasonable. And I know that. It’s the anxiety. The rational side of me knows that there’s nothing to be afraid of. The irrational anxious side of me doesn’t give even one shit.

I’m going to over think it anyway.

I can’t watch the other boat without my stomach dropping, so I turn my lounge chair in the opposite direction and sit back, breathing deeply. I’m in a bathing suit with a cover up, but I’m not too hot. It’s always about ten degrees cooler on the lake. The chair is soft and plush, and before long my anxiety has calmed down and I could easily drift to sleep.

But I don’t. I’m watching the shoreline off in the distance, floating by lazily. We took the boat out in the middle of the lake, directly in front of Grace and Jacob’s house. From way out here, their house still looks massive. It’s just been the two of them in that big house, but soon there will be three.

I’m happy for her.

“You’re up here by yourself,” Jenna says and sits next to me, surprising me.

“I thought you were on the other boat?”

“I had the guys bring me back here. There was a lot of testosterone on that boat.” She laughs and passes me a fresh Coke. “We could go in Grace’s house and make iced coffees.”

“How did you just read my mind?”

“Friend, your mind is always on coffee.”

“True. Maybe in a bit, the sun is so nice right now.”

Jenna is in a turquoise bikini, showing off her curves. Her natural platinum blonde hair is tucked up in a sun hat, and she’s wearing huge sunglasses.

“You look like a starlet today.”

She smirks. “Sure.”

“You look like a starlet every day. You must hear that a lot.”

She shrugs one shoulder and then links her fingers over her flat belly. “Maybe I shouldn’t dress nice in front of my crew.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know I’m building the tree houses on the mountain, right?”

“Yes, and I’m dying to see them.”

“I’m so irritated. My brothers are co-owners with me, but I’m the brains behind the operation. They’re my vision, my heart, my project.”

“Gotcha.”

“But I guarantee you, every single day when I go to the job site and speak with someone, they either dismiss me altogether, or tell me to have my husband come talk to them.”

“What the fuck?”

“Right?” She pats my arm and nods. “When I explain that they’ll have to talk to me, they shake their heads and look frustrated. It pisses me off.”

“It would piss me off too.”

“So I’ve told Max and Brad to stop coming to meetings. They’re all going to learn to deal with me and me only. I’ve been in real estate for over ten years. I’ve run my own vacation rentals, including a super fancy B&B, for almost that long. I know what I want, and I have the money to get it.

“But now they’ve decided to go over budget already and we’re only half way built.”

“Not acceptable.”

“No,” she agrees. “So I just fired my contractor yesterday, and now I have to find someone new. I would just do it myself, but it’s three buildings, thirty feet off the ground. It’s not a normal house.”

“It sounds incredible.”

“It will be,” she says with a smile. “I can’t wait for you to see them. I also have my eye on a piece of property in the park that just went on the market.”

“As in, inside Glacier Park?”

“Yeah,” she says with a nod. “There are about a dozen private residences inside the park. This one is on Lake McDonald, and it’s gorgeous. I know I could rent it out most of the year.”

“Absolutely. You should do it!”

“I’m sinking a shit ton of money into the tree houses right now,” she says and wrinkles her nose. “But I may never have the chance to own property in the park again.”

“Exactly. Do it. I’m serious. I’ll go in on it with you.”

“You’re a good friend.” A slow smile slides over her perfect lips. Jenna looks annoyingly like Grace Kelly. If she wasn’t so wonderful, we might all hate her. “I’ll just get another loan for it. I know it would pay for itself in less than three years.”

“Sounds like a no brainer.”

She claps her hands excitedly. “Now to get those tree houses finished and rented out so they can start paying for themselves, too.”

“Do you mind if I fold out the awning?”

“Not at all,” she says as I stand and roll out the awning, casting us in blessed shade.

“That’s better. I was starting to sweat, and no one wants that.”

“No,” Jenna says with a laugh. “My mom likes you.”

“I feel bad because I was nervous and I’ve hardly said three words to her.”

“She likes you,” she says again. “And I know my brother likes you.”

“I should hope so. He’s naked with me a lot.”

“Ew,” Jenna says and then laughs. “But good for you guys.”

“Am I missing good stuff up here?” Grace asks and joins us. “Also, side note, be very proud of me for climbing that ladder and not dying.”

“Very proud.” I smile as Grace sits opposite of us, so she can see us and takes her sunglasses off.

“I don’t know how I’ll get down. Me going down a ladder doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

“You can slide down the slide,” Jenna suggests, and just like that my anxiety is in high gear again.

“I’ll help you down the ladder,” I offer immediately.

Grace just laughs, oblivious to my inner turmoil and changes the subject.

“Did you hear that Louise Summers sold her clothing boutique in town?”

“I did,” Jenna says with a nod. “Didn’t she retire?”

“Yes, and Willa Monroe bought it. She’s doing some remodeling, and I saw her in the grocery store last week, and she said she’s going to update it, make it super pretty and trendy. Bring in some higher end clothing lines. I’m excited to see what she does.”

“I always liked Willa,” Jenna says with a smile.

“Who is Willa?” I ask.

“Willa and Max used to date in high school,” Jenna replies and shakes her head. “My stupid brother let her get away. She’s widowed now, with a little boy, Jack.”

“He’s adorable,” Grace says. “Has Max seen her since he’s been home?”

“I doubt it,” Jenna replies and looks around to make sure her brother isn’t in ear shot. “I told him to call her, but he’s a stubborn ass.”

“Well, she’s having a fun grand opening party next Friday evening, and I think we should go.”

“That sounds fun,” I reply. “I’m in.”

“Me too,” Jenna adds. “Cunningham Falls can use a trendy new clothes store. Let’s plan a night of it.”

“Are you guys up there?” Jacob calls out from the lower deck.

“We are,” Grace calls back.

“We have food down here. I’ll come get you, love.”

Before Grace can reply, he’s scaled up the ladder and scoops her up in his arms, kissing her sweetly.

“How are you?” he asks.

“I’m just fine. I wasn’t going to try to go down the ladder without you.”

“Good girl.” He nuzzles her neck, then walks to the ladder and sets her down, wedging her between him and ladder, helping her down.

“He’s sweet,” Jenna says. “And hello, British accent.”

“I know, it ups the hot factor,” I reply with a laugh. “Let’s go eat. I’m hungry.”

We shimmy down the ladder to find everyone back on the pontoon.

“There you are,” Brad says and pulls me to him for a kiss that makes my toes curl. “You look beautiful in this suit.”

“Thank you. What is there to eat?”

“Sandwiches, salads, and cookies for dessert. Oh, and some fruit.”

Max and Brad give each other a hard time about their water skiing adventure, Jenna, Jacob, and Grace are chatting in a corner, and Mary and Bruce are eating, watching us all with content faces.

“Are you happy to be home?” I ask them.

“Always,” Bruce says with a wink. “We hardly left for thirty years because I always worked so damn much. It’s been good to see some of the world with my bride.”

I smile, watching how sweet Brad’s parents are with each other. What must it have been like to grow up in a house that was functional?

I glance at Brad and Max, both still shirtless and in their drying swim trunks, chatting and laughing while eating their sandwiches. It’s clear they all get along well, that they care for each other. The wealth that Max has come into in the past few years hasn’t changed his dynamic with his family.

And let’s be honest, the two Hull boys standing shirtless together is a sight to behold.

“What are you thinking over there?” Brad asks, pulling me out of my own head.

“I’m just sitting here,” I reply and grin when he takes my hand and pulls me into his lap, nuzzling my ear with his nose. “That tickles, and your parents are right there.”

“They’ve done this many times,” he says and winks at me. “Are you having fun?”

“Absolutely. It’s the perfect day to be on the lake.”

“Do you want to go for a run on the tube after lunch?”

“No, thanks.” I wrinkle my nose, feeling the anxiety rush up inside of me, but I act calm and collected in front of his family and my friends. “I don’t think I want to get my hair wet.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

He frowns, watching me closely. “You brought a bag that has stuff in it for if you swim.”

“I just decided I don’t want to swim today.”

Please drop this.

“But you can go if you want to. I’ll watch,” I continue.

“You’re being silly. You’re a great swimmer. Just last month, we went kayaking up at Bowman Lake, and she fell in,” he tells the others, making us all laugh. “But she pulled herself right out. You’re not afraid of the water.”

Not that water.

The next thing I know, he’s standing with me in his arms, walking to the edge of the boat.

“Don’t.”

“I’ll go in with you.”

Before I can react, he’s jumped in with me in his arms, and I’m completely submerged in the water, kicking and swimming back to the surface. I immediately swim to the ladder and pull myself out of the water, on the verge of tears.

“There,” he says, still treading water. “Now you’re wet.”

“Get out of the lake please,” I say, my teeth chattering. Someone wraps a towel around my shoulders. I’m so scared, so angry, that I can’t see anything other than Brad pulling himself out of the water.

“Not cool, man,” Max mutters, but my eyes are pinned to Brad.

“What?” Brad asks. “I was just having fun with you.”

“I told you I didn’t want to swim.”

He cocks his head to the side, narrows his eyes, and props his hands on his hips. He’s not going to ask me questions in front of the others, which is a relief because I don’t want to have to explain in front of the others that he just took ten years off my life.

I climb the ladder to the top deck, and hear the engine roar to life, the boat pointed to the dock.

Great. They probably want to dump me off, and I don’t blame them. I’m such a downer! Not to mention, this is not the impression I wanted to give his parents.

What a mess.

“Hannah, will you please come inside with Jenna and me?” Grace calls. “We want coffees and need to use the bathroom.”

I sigh in relief, and climb down the ladder, not looking at Brad, and follow the girls into the house. When they head to the kitchen, I find the closest bathroom, close the door, and let myself have a meltdown.

Oh my God. I could have died. Not because of the swimming thing, but what if the electricity thing had happened again? And what if it happened when Brad was in the water and it killed him and I had to watch him die?

I can’t do this. I can’t do the relationship thing because he’s going to die eventually, whether that’s today or thirty years from now, and I just don’t think I’m relationship material.

At all.

I’m trying to calm myself down, but now the thought of losing Brad is stuck in my head, and my heart is beating so fast I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack.

I take a deep breath and stare at myself in the mirror. I look ridiculous with wet red hair, pale skin, scared eyes.

Why am I always so fucking scared?

There’s a knock at the door.

“Han, let me in.”

I close my eyes and pray for strength. Of course Brad would follow me.

I swallow, ignore my pounding heart, and wrap myself in strength I don’t have before opening the door and looking up at him.

“Hi. Sorry, I’m coming.”

I try to brush past him, but he grips my shoulders and gently pushes me back into the bathroom, shuts the door, and cages me in against the vanity, making me look him in the eyes.

“Talk to me.”

“About what?”

“You’re pissing me off, Hannah.”

“Yeah, well, that seems to be going around today. I need to get back to the girls.”

“Fuck that, you’re going to tell me what in the hell happened on that boat.”

“Well, I was thrown in the water against my will and my hair got wet. No means no, Brad. I figured the chief of police would understand that.”

His eyes narrow, and look a little hurt, and that just makes me feel guilty.

He didn’t deserve that, and I can’t look him in the eyes anymore.

“Bullshit,” he says at last and tips my chin up. “This isn’t about your hair. You’re lying to me, and you know how I feel about that.”

“Well, that’s the only answer you’re going to get.”

I push out of his arms and march for the door, but when I turn the knob, I pause, lowering my head in shame.

This isn’t who we are.

“I’m scared,” I whisper, then latch the door again and turn to face him. “I was so scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of the water.”

“You can swim.”

“You’re not listening to me.”

“I’m sorry.” He looks genuinely baffled, which I understand. I’m baffled by me all the time. “Tell me. Make me hear you.”

“I don’t give a shit about my hair. And of course I can swim. It’s not that I’m afraid of water, I’m afraid of this water. This lake.”

I step to him, needing him to understand.

“I’ve been terrified all day. Actually, I’ve been afraid since Grace mentioned that we’d be on the boat today. All I can think about is, someone is going to dive in and get electrocuted.”

“Oh, sweetheart.”

“I know you said that it’s okay, and I believe you. I know that you would never put anyone at risk, but I’m afraid of it anyway.”

“Why didn’t you just say something?”

“Because it’s ridiculous.” I feel a tear fall on my cheek, and I’m just mortified. “And I’m meeting your parents for the first time, and I want them to like me. I don’t want to feel different. I know that I’m safe with you, always, but I can’t get it out of my head. I do not want to be in that water. On the water? Fine, I can do that, but not in it. And it scared the shit out of me when you were in it because if something were to happen to you—”

“Shh,” he says and pulls me against him hard, holding me so tight I don’t know when I end and he begins. “Stop thinking that way. I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. I’m right here. And if you don’t want to go into the water for any reason, you don’t have to. I’m sorry I didn’t listen.”

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you’re right. No means no. I don’t think you’re different or weird. You feel the way you feel, and that’s okay.”

His hand is circling firmly over my back, soothing me, and it’s the best feeling in the world. I’m calmer now; the giant butterflies in my stomach are gone.

And I was in the water and survived.

“Do you want to go home?” he asks.

“Do you want me to go home?”

“Hell, no. We have prime seats for fireworks.” He smiles and brushes his thumb over the apple of my cheek. “I want you to stay with us, and I want to enjoy the rest of the day with you.”

“I want that too. Grace said something about iced coffees.”

He chuckles and kisses my forehead, then my nose and finally my lips.

“You can have whatever you want as long as you stay.”