Chapter Twenty-Two
Tanner closed the door behind him after escorting Izzy into her cottage. They had dropped Hayley off at Meghan’s with promises to not stay up too late. He doubted she would get much sleep. And if he had his way, he wouldn’t, either.
Before he could take a step toward Izzy, Freddie rushed in from the kitchen, jumping at their feet and yipping until they had no choice but to pay attention to him. Daggone dog.
“Wait right here a minute.” Izzy hurried into the kitchen, Freddie on her heels. Food pellets striking a metal bowl echoed from the other room, and then the low tones of Izzy’s voice as she spoke to him. Then she stepped back into the living room, her gaze focused on him.
He stared for a moment at the woman he loved.
“Can I get you something to eat?”
He stepped closer to her. “No.”
“A drink?”
He shook his head slowly.
She inched closer. “Then what do you want?”
“You.” He reached for her and they came together. Everything he’d been holding back all day poured into that single kiss. Her body pressed into his, her heaving breasts pillowing against his chest. He backed her into the wall, never breaking the kiss. God, she felt so good. He couldn’t get enough of her. His erection grew painful. It was about time he showed her exactly what she did to him. He ground his hips into her core, the heat of her body washing over him. Her fingers dug into his ass as she moaned into his mouth.
They needed… he needed… he didn’t know what he needed but whatever it was, it involved Izzy being naked. He pulled at her blouse, yanking it out of her jeans until he could feel her skin. His hands slid over the soft silkiness heating beneath his touch.
With frantic need, she grabbed for his shirt. “Off. I want to feel you.”
That he could do. He reached behind him and jerked the shirt over his head, flinging it behind him. Then her hands were on him, her palms pressed to his chest. He closed his eyes and gave himself over to her, sighing as she tickled her fingers across his abs.
Then her lips were on his, her teeth nipping his lip before her tongue plunged into his mouth. The faint hint of smoke from the fire pit lingered around her, the earthy smell giving him a sense of home. Izzy was his home.
He brushed his lips across her cheek. “How about we take this to the bedroom?” His lips moved toward her ear, sucking on her earlobe.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
He grabbed her hand and raced her down the hall, barely stopping to kick the door closed before Freddie could interrupt them again.
He walked her backwards, still kissing her, until her knees bumped against her mattress. What he wouldn’t give to have her in his bed, to see her hair splayed on his pillow, but they wouldn’t have the privacy that they did here.
She was the perfect height for him to nudge her onto the mattress, following her down until his body covered hers.
That was enough rushing. They had all night, and if he had his way, they wouldn’t close their eyes until the sun was coming up. He had no intention of wasting a minute of this precious time with the woman he loved.
He pulled back. Her lips were still pursed, her eyes closed as though she were still deep in the kiss.
Finally, her eyes snapped open. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just looking at you.”
She squirmed a little.
“Don’t. You’re beautiful, and I can’t believe you’re here with me. After…” How could he explain this? “Let’s just say that I never expected to be happy like I am with you. I was content living my life as Hayley’s father, but you’ve given me so much more than that.”
He kissed her then, a simple, easy kiss. Or so he thought. He poured every emotion coursing through him into kissing Izzy. If only a kiss could convey his feelings with his body… and his touch.
This time it was Izzy who broke the kiss. She shoved at his chest and sat up on the bed, her legs crossed. He moved in front of her, his legs on either side of hers.
She bit her lip. Was she nervous about something?
“What is it? Is something wrong?”
She leaned forward so their lips brushed but pulled back before he could deepen the kiss. “No, nothing’s wrong. I just…”
He covered her hands with his. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.” If that were true, then why couldn’t he share what his heart had been feeling for weeks?
She fidgeted for a minute and then her gaze dropped to where their hands were joined and then back to his face. “I, uh, this is so hard.”
He squeezed her hands, hoping she felt his love through their touch.
“Being a dancer is hard. There is so much focus on your body, how you look, how much you weigh. It’s so easy to end up with a distorted view of what’s normal and what looks good.”
“Izzy, you have nothing to worry about. You’re perfect.” He stroked his hand down her hip just to show her.
“For a long time, I wasn’t. Sure, I was skinny. And probably exactly who I needed to be to be prima ballerina in a professional company. But I was far from perfect. I had an unhealthy focus on food and years of alternately starving myself and binging.” She closed her eyes as though the memory were too painful to expose to the light of day.
What a rough life that must have been. He would never wish anyone to go through what she had to become the dancer she had. “Oh, Izzy. I’m so sorry.”
“Believe it or not, I’m not that person anymore. I love being a dancer, don’t get me wrong, but nothing is worth what I put my body through for years. I plan on incorporating lessons into my classes with the kids, focusing on positive body image and awareness of issues like anorexia and bulimia. But that wasn’t the worst of it.”
What he wouldn’t give to gather her in his arms, to shut out everything bad that had happened to her, to tell her that nothing could hurt her again.. But this was his strong Izzy, and she didn’t need him to protect her. That didn’t mean he couldn’t support and cherish her.
“Erik would always harp on my weight. It was like he could tell exactly how heavy I was each time he lifted me. Maybe he could. But there was no way I was too heavy for him. It didn’t matter what I weighed, it was about his control over me. But he wasn’t always like that. When we were first dating, he was really sweet to me, saying all the things I needed to hear. And I fell for it.”
Tanner clenched his jaw to keep from saying something he’d regret. He didn’t want to think about, much less hear about, Izzy with anyone else. But good or bad, her experiences with Erik helped mold her into the perfect match that she was for him now.
“I’m not telling you this to upset you, just to explain why I am the way I am. Or rather, was. His verbal abuse started not long after I was named prima ballerina. Because for him, that was a promotion. He was my partner, so that thrust him in the spotlight. Right where he wanted to be. After that, he didn’t miss any opportunity to harp on how I looked, how I had a roll on my stomach or a double chin forming.” She sucked in a deep breath.
Tanner wanted to pound something, preferably this loser Erik’s face. How would he like being on the stage with a broken nose and two black eyes? “I hate that he did that to you. You have to know that that was more about him than it was about you, right? Please tell me you know that.”
“I didn’t at the time. His words became my inner dialogue. It was a very unhealthy relationship, but I was afraid of what would happen to my career if I left him. Thankfully, I had a very sympathetic teacher in New York who helped me understand what Erik was doing to me. I had started turning things around, eating healthier and taking care of my body, getting stronger, when…”
“When you had your accident.”
“If it was an accident in the first place.”
“What are you saying? How could your knee injury be anything other an accident?”
“There was debris on the stage, not just normal stuff. Dancing on pointe requires strength and balance, and my balance was thrown off when I danced over whatever was on the stage. I tried to catch myself, but instead I twisted my knee and landed on it. I’d been dancing for years and never lost my balance like that.”
God, what she had been through. His heart broke for her. But her injury had brought her home to Cedar Hill… and him. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. Did you ever find out what was on the stage?”
She shook her head. “Nothing definitive. But it didn’t take long after I was laid up for the rumors about Erik to be confirmed. His affair with my understudy was evidently the worst kept secret in New York—except to me. She wanted what I had—my role and the man who came with it—and I wouldn’t put it past her to be behind what happened to me.”
“What in the hell kind of company were you in?” And he thought teens were rough on each other.
“Unfortunately, that sort of thing is pretty common in the performing arts community. I always wanted to be a dancer because I loved how it made my body feel and how I could communicate without words. But there is so much about the dance world that is ugly. If I had known…”
“Don’t say that. You were meant to be a dancer. I’ve seen you in the studio with your students, and I can picture you on the stage. You tell a story with your body. Don’t let the bad negate the wonderful things about dance that you love.” He paused. He’d been waiting for just the right time, and this was it. But she had to look at him first. He tucked his finger under her chin and raised it so their gazes met. The depth of vulnerability in her eyes floored him. “Thank you for telling me that. I know it wasn’t easy for you, but I love that you trust me enough.”
“I do trust you, and—”
“Izzy, there’s something I want, no, I need, to tell you, too.”
A hint of unease washed over her expression.
“I know it may be too soon, but I can’t hold back what I’m feeling any longer.” He rested his hand on his chest. “You’ve captured my heart. It’s yours. I love you, Izzy.”
Eyes widened, her expression transformed into an innocent one. Like she must have looked before the ugly side of dance and a verbally abusive man tarnished her positive view of the world. “You love me?”
He couldn’t keep his smile from growing. “I think I have for a while. But I’ve been pretty wary after, well, you know. I love how strong you are, how wonderful you are with Hayley. I love how you have a big, meddling family. And yes, I love that you are beautiful, but that’s not anywhere near the reason why I love you.”
“Oh, Tanner.” Her arms snaked around him, and she pulled him down over her, her tongue thrusting in his mouth as soon as their lips touched. This kiss was not gentle or sweet. Desire coursed through him.
A minute later, there was a flurry of clothes until they were both naked.
He quickly sheathed himself and propped over her.
“I need you, Tanner.”
“You’ve got me.” The heat pouring off her surrounded him and drew him to her. He lowered himself until he could feel all of her—her breasts against his chest, her legs intertwined with his, her core perfectly aligned with him. They were a perfect match. With just a slight shift, he could be inside her. And the way her fingers clutched his ass, she was feeling the same.
But he hadn’t even begun to worship her body the way she deserved. He sprinkled kisses down her neck and shoulders, his lips brushing against her soft skin and leaving a heated path in his wake. By the time he reached her breasts, her nipples had hardened into stiff peaks, just begging for him. He sucked one into his mouth. How could that bastard say she was anything other than beautiful? She was a perfect fit for his hand, soft and supple. He released her nipple with a pop and lavished attention on the other as she squirmed beneath him.
“Tanner…”
He chuckled as he released her other nipple. “Not yet.”
He licked a path down her belly and over the stretch marks that were evidence of the struggles she’d faced living up to an unattainable image. “You.” He pressed a light kiss to one mark. “Are.” She relaxed as he showed her that she was beautiful to him. “Perfect.”
He finally reached her core, parting the folds with his thumbs and circling his tongue around her.
“Oh, God.” She wrapped her fingers around his hair, pulling his head toward her.
He was happy to oblige. Heat poured off her as he inserted a single finger while he brushed his lips over hers. He twisted his hand until he found that spot deep inside that he hoped would drive her wild.
He was right. She flexed her muscles and dug her heels into the bed, lifting her hips toward him. If he could, he would shove every negative memory of the asshole out of her mind and replace it with a good one… of him. He withdrew his finger and circled her clit, wanting to draw out her pleasure.
She moaned and writhed under him. Trying to move him to that place that would drive her over the edge. He would, but not yet. He had much more exploring to do.
He thrust two fingers in and twisted slightly. A husky moan rumbled from deep inside her. That was the spot. The one that turned her into putty in his hands. Her head was thrown back and her eyes closed as she gave herself over to him.
She may not have said that she loved him, but every word, every action, showed it. He didn’t need the words to know that Izzy was his.
Her channel throbbed around him. She was close. So close. He stroked her intimately at the same time he sucked her clit into his mouth.
“Oh, God, Tanner.” Her body grabbed his fingers, and her orgasm overtook her.
He wanted to be with her, to tumble over together. He withdrew his fingers and raised himself up, entering her with a single thrust. She moaned deeply and cried out again as her channel gripped him. She clutched his back, her nails digging in almost painfully, as he pulled back and thrust again.
His lips were on hers again and he parted them, thrusting his tongue in her mouth as he thrust his cock into her. Over and over, her tightness squeezing him.
He rolled, holding Izzy to him, until she was on top of him. This was much better. Now he could see all of her. She smiled as she lifted up and lowered herself oh… so… slowly… onto him. Damn her. He dug his fingers into her hips and plunged into her. She flung her head back as they found their rhythm again, his hands on her hips as she rode him until he felt his own orgasm building. A few more thrusts and he growled, staying buried deep inside her until her muscles relaxed and waves of pleasure washed through him.
She collapsed over him, her head buried in his neck, her breaths coming in spurts. Damn, she never failed to surprise him.
“Tanner?” Her voice was a whisper, her breaths equally shallow as she came down from her own release.
He raised his head. “Yeah?”
“I love you, too.”
He couldn’t help the huge smile that broke across his face. Okay, he was wrong. Hearing the words was everything. To know that the woman you love loved you back. There was nothing more powerful than that. He kissed her then, a kiss of a promise and a future that they weren’t ready to talk about. But soon. Very soon.