Chapter Five
Climbing out of bed the next morning was harder than normal for Izzy. And it wasn’t just because she’d abused her knee yesterday, first at the studio and then at the bar. It was the lack of sleep slowing her down. Because as soon as she’d crawled into bed late last night, her mind had begun to race. When she closed her eyes, all she could see was Tanner’s face, his eyes hooded as he lowered his mouth to hers. The feel of his hard chest against her. And her own body betrayed her, melting in to him like she had just crawled across the desert and he was water. And she was thirsty. For his kisses, his touch.
He made her… well, he made her feel. And she wasn’t sure she could anymore after shutting herself off from the hurt for so long. Erik had done a number on her, and her trust of men in general had been shattered. Evidenced by her many first dates but no second ones. How had Tanner slipped past her well-honed defenses? That was the question that had kept her awake for most of the night.
After she stretched, her joints felt better. She had just padded down the hall when the front door to her cottage opened and Justin and Serena stumbled in.
“Morning, you two.”
Justin sauntered over and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He placed a kiss on her head, like he had when she was a little girl. “Hey, Izzy. Rough morning today?”
Her family were the only ones who knew the true extent of her injuries. When she’d announced her retirement, she’d let everyone think her age combined with a minor injury had prompted the change. But the people she loved the most had seen through the bluster. And it was just as well. She’d needed their support, emotionally and physically, when she’d returned home with her tail between her legs.
A coffee cup slid in front of her, and Serena leaned her elbows on the island beside Izzy, her hands wrapped around another mug.
Izzy took a sip of her own, then turned to her sister. “Don’t you have coffee at your own place?”
“Sure, but yours is better. And it’s made the minute I walk in the door.”
“And yours would be, too, if you learned how to use the timer. And what about you, Justin?” She gestured to her brother whose nose was buried in his own mug.
“Maddie is on a caffeine-free kick right now. Won’t allow regular coffee in the house.”
Poor Justin. He and Maddie had been trying to get pregnant again after Aiden with no success. The stress of it was evident in the deep creases on Justin’s forehead and the shadows under his eyes. He had discussed with Izzy, more than once, the strain Maddie’s obsession with getting pregnant was putting on their marriage. They’d weathered his professional baseball career with fewer obstacles than this. If things didn’t lighten up soon, Izzy didn’t put a lot of faith in their marriage surviving. Justin was madly in love with his wife, but even he had a breaking point.
Serena straightened and scanned the kitchen and living room. “Where’s Freddie?”
As if he heard his name called, her undersized Jack Russell hustled through the dog door, the flap slapping behind him as he barreled into the kitchen on his three legs. He skidded to a stop just short of the island and turned his head until he could see Serena with his one good eye. Izzy could swear he smiled, his tail wagging a mile a minute. Serena scooped him up and nuzzled his nose. “Hey, sweetie. I missed you.”
“You wouldn’t have to miss him if he lived at your place. I’m worried he’s not going to get enough attention now that I’m going to be spending a lot of hours at the studio.” Thankfully only two of those hours a week would involve Tanner Ross. She wasn’t sure she had the strength to resist him, if last night was any indication.
“I hardly have room for the ones I have, and the shelter is, as always, overflowing. I’ve taken in every one I could.” Serena spread her arms wide. “You have all of this space and the fenced-in back yard. With Mom right across the lawn, you know she’ll help any time you need it.”
Sure, Izzy was grateful that Mom had offered the guest cottage when Izzy had returned to Cedar Hill. And she felt guilty that Mom wouldn’t allow her to pay rent, an amount that would be decent for a cottage this nice. But Mom wouldn’t hear of Izzy getting her own place. It had been easy to give in at the time, on crutches and needing assistance with everyday tasks, but now that she was almost fully healed, having Mom close could be suffocating. Not to mention her siblings who dropped in on a regular basis. She loved all of them, but sometimes there was too much of a good thing.
But she couldn’t begrudge them a little extra sibling time these days. The bombshell that had been dropped on them last month had left all of them reeling. With Dad no longer around to explain himself, it was even more difficult to process what they’d learned. What she wouldn’t give to be able to talk to, or more specifically, yell at, Dad about the whole thing.
Her siblings hadn’t wanted to discuss it… yet. Each of them was processing it in their own way. Justin had become more withdrawn, while Serena acted as if nothing had changed. But she was most worried about Alexis. The announcement had triggered a downward spiral for Serena’s twin, and even their close bond as twins hadn’t helped Alexis open up and share her feelings.
Izzy—she poured herself into her work, fast tracking the completion of the studio to prove to herself that she still had it. If yesterday was any indication, she was well on her way. Most of her classes were more than half full already. The turnout at the open house had exceeded all of her expectations.
And then there was Tanner. Would she be able to walk into the studio without imagining the way he’d admired her yesterday, the way his eyes had lingered on her as she’d given him and Hayley a tour? And what was worse, she wasn’t sure she wanted to forget. What she needed to do was dance, to throw herself into a piece until all of her emotions were sorted out and she could move forward and forget about the turmoil her father created… and the incredibly sexy Tanner Ross.
* * *
She’d barely stepped through the front door of the studio later that morning before Natalie grabbed her arm and hustled her back to the office.
“What?”
“Don’t give me that. I want to know what happened with that sexy man.”
“You first.”
Natalie always shared stories about the men she met, and it would give Izzy a chance to organize her tumbled thoughts.
“Nothing to tell.”
Izzy didn’t believe that for a minute, not with the way Natalie avoided her gaze and color rose on her cheeks. “That good, huh? You went for coffee, and…” Izzy’s gaze landed on Natalie’s outfit, a bit revealing for a day at work but perfect for… “Walk of shame outfit? Really, Natalie?”
Natalie yanked her low-cut shirt higher and tugged at the hem of her skirt. “It wasn’t like that. We just talked.”
Izzy shook her head. “Nuh-uh. Don’t buy it.”
“No, really. Okay, maybe we kissed a little. But nothing like you and Tanner.”
What did Natalie know? She’d left before they’d even stepped on the dance floor. “We didn’t kiss.” Izzy felt heat flush her face. She’d never been good at lying to her friend.
“I don’t believe you. I saw how he was looking at you. And…”
Damn, Natalie must have hung around longer than Izzy thought. At least now she’d have someone to help her sort out her jumbled mess of feelings. “How did you know?”
Natalie clapped her hands and bounced on the couch. “I didn’t know. Not until you just told me. That is so great.”
“No, it’s not.”
The smile fell from her friend’s face. “Why not? He’s not married, is he? Dammit, guys are such cheating bastards.”
Funny how both of their first thoughts had been that Tanner had been married. Did he put off the vibe or was it just that a man that good looking had no business still being on the market? “No, he’s not married. Hayley’s mother isn’t around, and it’s just the two of them.”
Natalie’s eyes widened when she fully understood Izzy’s dilemma. “Oh, right. Hayley.”
“Exactly. I can’t get involved with a student’s father.” Why the hell did he have to be a parent? Had she met him at the bar last night for the first time, she wouldn’t have hesitated when he said he wanted to see her again. She might even have been tempted to invite him home instead of leaving him standing in the parking lot. But he was a student’s father, and the success of her studio was more important right now than her crush on Tanner.
“I don’t see this as a problem. There’s no reason a relationship with Tanner has to affect your one with Hayley.”
“It’s not getting involved that I’m worried about. It’s when it ends.”
“What if it doesn’t end? What if Tanner is the one you’re meant to be with?”
Hmph. “I know better than to believe that. Everything will start off great, all intense and passionate. Then he’ll get bored and move on to someone else. Like they all do.”
“Not every man is Erik, Izzy. I wish you’d see that his behavior had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him being a selfish asshole.”
If it was all about Erik, how come he was still with his new leading lady? He hadn’t gotten bored of Brittany the way he had Izzy. That had to mean that it was her and not him.
He hadn’t even called to check on her recovery once she’d announced her retirement. But hearing the news must have been all the invitation he needed to make an appearance with Brittany.
Her understudy. On the stage as well as in his bed, apparently. The new power couple in the company. That was all the good she had been for him. He’d never even done Izzy the courtesy of breaking up with her, his message delivered in the introduction of Brittany on his arm within weeks of Izzy’s injury. Who was to say it would be any different with Tanner? If he was looking for something more permanent, wouldn’t he have found it already?
Understanding flooded Natalie’s gaze. “You should at least try. You don’t have to get serious right away. Just test the waters. Hayley doesn’t even have to know.”
Could she do that? Could she and Tanner go out and keep it a secret from Hayley? “Maybe.”
“I see I’ve given you something to think about. My job here is done.”
Natalie stepped out the door and left Izzy pondering. She definitely needed to get onto the dance floor. Maybe a couple of hours dancing would help her sort out this jumble of emotions.