Chapter Twenty-Six
Tanner ambled into the kitchen and reached above the stove. That was where he’d tucked a bottle of bourbon that he saved for those times when he was feeling sorry for himself and the lot life had dealt him. If ever there was a time for bourbon, it was now. He poured two shots’ worth in a glass and threw them back standing right there at the counter. He poured another two shots, carried his glass into the living room, and plopped into the chair. He couldn’t sit on the couch without remembering the time he’d spent curled up with Izzy. In fact, nothing about his house felt the same without her. And it had just gotten worse, not better, as time had gone by.
He’d thought he’d had a good life before, a happy life, just him and Hayley. But Izzy’s departure highlighted how much he was missing out on.
He didn’t begrudge Izzy her dream. Hell, if he’d been presented with that kind of opportunity earlier in life, he would have jumped at it, too. He just wished that her dream could involve him. She was certainly a part of his long-term plans. Or at least, she had been. He couldn’t count on that now.
Hayley still hadn’t gotten over Izzy’s leaving. Especially since she hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye. He’d sworn he would never put Hayley in a position to have another woman she loved desert her. But he’d done exactly that. Hayley, in her eight-year-old maturity, had said that she understood Izzy’s dream. Hell, Hayley herself had declared that she was going to be a dancer when she grew up. But despite that, her smiles had been few and far between, and only Blue had been able to draw a few laughs from his daughter.
He threw the bourbon back, the burn a welcome pain in his throat. But it didn’t surpass the ache in his heart. He slammed the glass down. “Dammit!”
His phone lit up on the table beside him. He didn’t need to pick it up to know the text was from Izzy. He’d been ignoring her the past couple of days. If he were honest, he’d been trying to pull back since she left. A long-distance relationship would never work.
He wanted Izzy in his life all the time, not just for a few hours when she could squeeze them in. It wasn’t fair to Izzy for him to demand that kind of ultimatum, but he wasn’t the only one suffering. He couldn’t put Hayley through that kind of yo-yo relationship. It wasn’t fair to her, and frankly, it wasn’t fair to him. None of this was.
He finally picked up the phone and tapped the button to turn the screen on.
“I miss you.”
Boy, she sure had understated what he was feeling. Gutted was a better description. Lonely, too. He stared at the words, his thumb hovering over the screen, fighting his instinct to respond. But how could he find a way to move on without Izzy if he kept hanging on to the crumbs she had left over for him?
His stubbornness won out in the end, and he didn’t respond to her message. He did, however, click over to the email where she had invited him to her upcoming performance. He had ignored it when it had arrived but now curiosity got the better of him. A click on the link brought up the web site for the dance company. There was his beautiful Izzy, her smiling face gracing the front page.
As he studied the photo closer, he saw things that others probably didn’t. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, the dark circles under her eyes betrayed the exhaustion she must be feeling. Rehearsals had to be grueling, but he could only hope she hadn’t fallen into the bad habits that had poisoned her last experience with the company.
Izzy might not think so, but she was the strongest woman he knew. If she could just draw on that strength, she’d realize that she didn’t need to prove anything to anyone. She had accomplished so much in her life and had so much more ahead of her. If only she didn’t have to do it in New York.
He scanned the page and found an interesting footnote along the bottom of the screen. Performance to benefit The Boys and Girls Club of Harlem. He smiled. That had to be Izzy’s doing. A cause near and dear to his heart.
Before he could second-guess himself, he clicked the button to purchase two tickets to the benefit.
“We’re sorry. This event is sold out.”
Damn. He’d waited too late, and now he wouldn’t be there for Izzy’s debut. He wasn’t sure if she actually wanted him there or was being polite in inviting him. Why had he hesitated so long when he’d known in his heart that he would be going? How could he miss seeing the woman he loved dance on stage? And his dance-crazed daughter would give anything to see the performance. What in the heck was he going to do now?
A few hours, many ticket scalping sites, and several hundred dollars later, there were two tickets in his name. The only ones he’d found were front and center, five rows from the stage. But he wasn’t questioning his luck—he clicked to purchase them before they, too, were snapped up.
* * *
Izzy shook out her hands and rolled her neck from side to side. It wasn’t like this was her first performance on stage, or even her first performance as prima ballerina. But the nerves had crept into her stomach as curtain time approached. Justin had texted earlier to say that all of them had arrived—Mom, Justin, Maddie, Aiden, Serena, and Alexis. That made six. She’d finagled eight tickets for the show in hopes that Tanner and Hayley would come, too. But Tanner hadn’t even acknowledged her recent messages, much less said he’d bring Hayley. Heartbroken, she’d given the tickets to her roommate, a member of the chorus. Celeste said she’d sell them, and that way they’d have a full house. Izzy had made Celeste promise that the money would go to the Boys and Girls Club.
Izzy walked onto the stage, the stiff boxes of her pointe shoes smacking the wood. She always loved this time just before they opened the doors, when the theater was still and quiet. This was her time to be alone with her thoughts. Usually she focused on the upcoming show and any last-minute tips from Erik or the director. But today, her thoughts were filled with Tanner. What it would feel like to dance for him, to have him witness her return to the stage and her final professional performance?
Even though he wouldn’t be here, she would be dancing for him in her heart. When you loved someone like she loved Tanner, it automatically bled through in her dance. She had always been an emotional performer, pouring all of her heartbreak and hurt and happiness and love into her movements. No more so than when she’d been rehearsing this number, knowing that when this performance was over, she would be going home to Cedar Hill… and to Tanner. Hopefully.
“Miss Harper. We’re ready to open the doors now.” The chief usher spoke softly from beyond the orchestra pit. The gentle, older man had worked at the theater when she was with the company before, and he knew her routine all too well. Besides, it was time for her to do her final warmup and get ready to perform.
“Thanks, Charles.” She hurried off the stage, but peeked out from behind the curtain as the doors opened and patrons poured into the auditorium and located their seats, reminding her of her own trips to see a show. The first time she’d attended the theater, the magic of the stage and the curtain, the plush red, velvet seats that sank down when she sat in them, had mesmerized her. Maybe, hopefully, someday she could share that experience with Hayley.
But for now, Izzy had to get ready to perform.