2006
“So, Christina has this friend,” Bryant began as he attempted to set me up on another date with some friend of another girl whose pants he was trying to get into. It was not uncommon for him to try to make me his wingman. He did it to us all, but me mostly. I was never quite sure why, but ever since I’d dumped the load of savings I’d amassed in the years after the “Kylie Fiasco” and bought my Harley, the women flocked to me.
It made very little sense to me. Losing the best thing that ever happened to me turned me into a gruff and generally sour guy. My appearance changed. I let my hair grow long—to the middle of my back—which I usually wore in a braid. I grew a thick beard I rarely groomed, preferring instead to let it be wild and unruly. I wanted to be an entirely different Justin Sever. A degenerate who deserved nothing good in life, because then I couldn’t disappoint others, or myself, ever again. I became rough, never shying away from a confrontation. Sometimes I even provoked a few fights just to release the frustration and anger that was constantly simmering under the surface of my skin.
I realized I’d been a monumental asshole with Kylie. I loved her, and she’d needed me, yet all I could think of was my own selfish wants. I hadn’t even tried to look at our dilemma from her perspective and how it would impact her hopes and aspirations, or more importantly, the fear and turmoil she must have been experiencing in the face of such a serious decision all by herself. I failed her. I failed myself, and if my Dad had ever known, he would definitely agree that I failed him, too. I realized my own stupidity far too late.
I’d never seen nor heard from Kylie again. I didn’t even get the odd snippet of gossip from any of our mutual friends to have an idea of how she was doing. It was like she had vanished from my world without a trace, but for the lingering ache in my heart whenever I thought of her. It had been four years, and sometimes the pain was as fresh as if it had just happened.
I didn’t spend too much time consciously thinking about her anymore though. I was either working my ass off at the warehouse where I’d since become a supervisor over the time that I’d been alone. I was twenty-two years old, with a crappy, mindless job that only served to pay the bills. I’d found an even shittier apartment in Reseda, not far from my job. It was a run-down studio, but I didn’t need much. Other than working, I spent time taking long rides on my bike, occasionally hanging out with the guys when I wasn’t being a complete dickhead to the world and drinking Jack Daniels by the barrelful. Okay, maybe not quite that much, but I did use it to ease the emptiness I felt at night when I lay down in the quiet of my seedy apartment on a bare mattress that was colder than any bed I’d ever slept in. I’d become loosely acquainted with a motorcycle club but hadn’t quite made the decision to join as a prospect. Something about having to be subservient to a bunch of other assholes who just wanted to fuck with me, so I could prove my mettle just didn’t sit right with me. I liked hanging out with them—even if they were into some shady things. I didn’t ask questions, I just enjoyed taking rides with one or two of them every so often, as well as a crazy party here and there, but I was good with remaining on the periphery of the lifestyle.
“Come on, Justin. Just this once, do it for me. Christina is smoking hot, and I just know if she and her friend meet you they’ll be very friendly,” he said with a cheesy wink.
I took a healthy swallow of my beer, then pointed the bottle at him.
“Yeah, they’ll be friendly, alright. With me. You know how these things always go. Your ‘girl-du-jour’ and her friend get all loose after a few drinks and the next thing I know, they’re climbing into my lap while you’re scowling into your drink, pissed at me. Oh, and none of this ‘just this once’ business. I’ve helped you out a handful of times before with the same results, and you still keep hoping it will work.”
Bryant muttered under his breath, but I caught it. “You could always try to discourage them, you know.” I laughed out loud. Seriously, what guy or at least, what guy like me would shove away two hot chicks who were climbing all over him and begging to be taken home and banged like a screen door in a hurricane? Together. Maybe once upon a time I’d have been too intimidated, or maybe I’d have been a more considerate guy, but that wasn’t me anymore. Nope. I had proved to myself that I was a first-class bastard, so I figured the only honor I could still salvage was my forthrightness.
“Sorry, bro. Me telling you to stop asking me is me being considerate of your feelings. I don’t go out of my way to hook up with any girl you’re interested in, but if she’s going to wave her pussy in my face and she’s cute enough, I’m not going to turn her down.”
Bryant was seriously biting his tongue, I could tell. His mouth was drawn into a tight line, and his face was nearly maroon. I was half-fucking with him. I may have become callous and cynical, but I still hadn’t quite crossed the line into a misogyny. No, I didn’t get involved beyond a few nights with the same girl if she was particularly talented, but I still didn’t treat women like they were just flesh bags. I did care enough that they went away with a smile and some memories of fun times.
I reached across the table and punched Bryant in the arm. “Fine, little buddy. If you want me to meet this girl’s friend, I will. I will even promise to be on my best behavior. If your girl starts sending me signals, I’ll shut her down or just take off—with or without her friend. Okay?”
Bryant let out the breath he was holding, and his face slowly returned to its usual pasty white.
“Thanks, Sever. I owe you for this big time.”
We finished our drinks while bullshitting about nothing in particular. Bryant was a good guy overall, but he had the depth of a cereal bowl. He had a big heart but couldn’t see his way past a pair of pretty eyes and an awesome rack to really get to know a woman. Consequently, his heart was broken again, and again by a parade of women who were even more shallow than he was. The good thing about his superficiality was he bounced back from whatever current misery he was mired in as soon as he set eyes on another looker. He may have suffered repeatedly, but it was never for very long. Bryant was a dog.
Over the week, I worked long hours at the warehouse, busting my ass with mandatory overtime. I worked sixty hours that week, and when my boots hit the threshold of my apartment door on Friday night, the only thing on my mind was an ice-cold beer and a mindless action movie to help me decompress.
No sooner had I stripped down to my shorts, then the phone rang. I will never know what compelled me to answer the call, given how tired I was, but I did.
“Yo, yo, yo, Sever! Are you ready for date night!” Bryant’s goofy greeting rang across the line. I groaned inwardly. I had totally forgotten about my promise to him. There was no way I was going out tonight. If I even tried, I’d likely fall flat on my face after an hour out of sheer exhaustion.
“About that…,” I began.
“Oh, no you don’t, Justin. You are not backing out of this. I have Christina primed and ready. I just need to seal that deal, and you, my friend, are the linchpin of that plan. Apparently, her friend—her name’s Elise, by the way—has been under a lot of stress lately. Something about a family illness or some shit. Anyway, Christina is desperate to show her a good time. You make Elise feel special and take her mind off her crap, and I’m golden! If anyone knows how to woo the ladies, it’s you.”
“Woo? What part of my personality even remotely suggests I am capable of or willing to ‘woo’ women? If you want wooing, Griffin is the man for the job. He’s good at all that classy, candlelight, romantic bullshit. I’m good to buy her a shot of tequila or two and try to see what’s under her skirt.”
“I think that’s exactly what Christina has in mind. From what I picked up from her, this Elise chick needs to get laid.”
“So, basically, you’re relying on the idea that I’ll fuck just about any chick who wants to. That hurts, Lewis. I do have some standards, you know,” I replied with a chuckle. We all knew I would pretty much bang any willing girl, so long as she was clean and not clingy. I wasn’t exactly choosey.
“Now, I want you to meet us at this spot at eight. Get a pen.” Bryant instructed. Grabbing a napkin from my kitchen counter, I picked up a pen from the cup that held my assortment of writing tools and my art pencils. Pulling the cap off with my teeth, I muttered, “Shoot.”
Bryant gave me the address of some bullshit bar where all the frat boys from UCLA hung out. Sure, I was going to fit in there like nobody’s business. I was certain before the night was over, some punk-ass rich boy would start something with me. That was perfectly fine with me; a little unnecessary violence would do wonders for relieving my stress. I doubted it would impress this Elise girl though and would surely fuck up Bryant’s plans. I laughed to myself. Watching Bryant strike out with, yet another chick sounded almost as satisfying.
I thought about just tossing on a clean t-shirt and jeans and heading out as I was. Though I didn’t really care what kind of impression I made on Bryant’s friends, I did have some measure of self-respect. The least I could do was wash off the day’s grime and be fresh-smelling. It was a small price to pay, considering I might get laid out of the deal. I stripped off my shorts where I stood and headed off to the shower.
I roared up to the bar on my Harley just after eight p.m., turning the heads of both the guys and girls outside the place. I saw a few sneers from the guys, but also a few open looks of lust. Not for me, but for the bike, of course. She was a shiny bitch for sure with her polished chrome and black paint with blue flames airbrushed on the tank.
Most of the money I had left after I paid all my bills for the month went into the upkeep of this baby. I affectionately referred to her as Lola. I told everyone she was my one, true love, and I’d do whatever it took to keep her looking as fine as the day I got her. All the men would drool over her, but she would never betray me. Lola was all mine.
I found a place near the entrance to park where I could keep an eye on her through the large windows at the front of the building. It would be just like these little bastards to try to hop on her and pretend they were big, bad, biker dudes. I shook my head silently as I dismounted and secured my helmet to the bike. I walked past two such suspects. One elbowed his buddy and gave a slight chin nod toward Lola, then looked at me. I gave him my best death stare but kept walking.
As I entered the bar, my eyes scanned the room for Bryant, but also for the eyes on me. I saw several guys looking at me with contempt, but I also noticed the girls with them stood up straighter and donned pretty smiles. I gave an obvious wink to the ladies, then a smug smirk to the men.
Moving on, I found Bryant on a stool with two women. From my vantage point, I could only see Bryant’s face as he laughed at something (probably one of his own dumb jokes), and the backs of two heads of long, shiny hair, one dark brown, the other a silky, almost luminous blonde. Curious, I moved forward to the table and boldly sat right down. Bryant grinned wider and threw his arm around my shoulders. Oblivious to the ‘what the fuck, man’ stare I gave him, he said, “Here’s the man of the hour! Hey buddy!” I not-so-subtly, pushed his arm from me with a finger as I turned to look at the girls. The dark-haired girl was pretty enough, with tanned skin and brown eyes with sooty lashes, but I was dumbstruck by the blonde.
She sat there looking sweet and demure, her big blue eyes wide in her face as she stared at me. She had delicate features, with high cheekbones and a tiny, perfect nose. Her mouth was a perfect heart shape, with a deep cupid’s bow and a plump lower lip. Presently those lips were slightly parted, showing a glimpse of even, white teeth. Her little pink tongue darted out to moisten her lips as she looked at me in wonder. The action immediately had my cock jumping in my jeans. I hadn’t been so affected by a girl since I was a pubescent boy pining for Kylie Moore.
I vaguely heard Bryant mumbling some sort of introduction to the ladies, but it was just background noise. I was laser-focused on the platinum blonde before me. If the blonde was the one Bryant was after, my promise to behave just went right out the window. This girl was mine whether anyone knew it yet or not. I snapped back to consciousness just as the brunette thrust her hand out to me.
“It’s a real pleasure to meet you, Justin. Bryant has so many great things to say about you,” she said as the twinkle I was so used to lit up in her eyes. I gave a quick shake of her hand and dropped it as fast as I’d taken it. I was shutting this one down right away. I thought I should at least lie and pretend the bar was too noisy to have heard her name but decided it didn’t really matter. I’d figure out who was who eventually, but no matter who the little angel was, I had plans to defile her a thousand different ways tonight.
I turned to my new obsession and put my hand out for her. She gingerly took it, hesitantly sliding her petite little hand into mine. I gripped it firmly as electricity zipped through my entire right side and straight to my crotch. At this rate, I’d be shredding my jeans within the hour, with the most massive hard-on I’d ever had.
“Hello, Angel,” I half-growled at her, and she visibly shivered in response. The gruffness of my voice surprised even me. Just as quickly as she reacted to the lust in my voice, she recovered, frowning slightly as she straightened in her chair.
“My name is Elise, not Angel, in case you didn’t hear.”
I did an internal whoop for joy. I wasn’t going to have to have to sacrifice my promise to Bryant.
“Oh, I heard, alright,” I lied through my teeth. “I meant no offense, it’s just that you look like an angel to me.” I didn’t want to set the wrong tone, but if she was the prissy sort who didn’t like pet names, I was going to have to set the tone that she needed to get used to it because I did things my way, no matter how gorgeous a girl was. Even with this little darling.
To my surprise, she beamed brightly at me. “Oh,” she said with the cutest little giggle. “I seriously thought you hadn’t paid attention to my name.” A soft blush crept over her cheeks as she realized she’d just confessed it mattered to her that I knew who she was. Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal, but I took it as a sign she was feeling a similar attraction to me.
“Let me amend it then, so there’s no confusion.” I gave her my best grin. “Angel-face, I’ve been paying attention to everything about you from the moment I sat down.”
The brunette next to her, Christina, I supposed, seemed to bristle as she squirmed in her seat. Bryant manned up and took her hand.
“Christina, sweetie, your glass is almost empty. Want to come to the bar with me and get another Margarita? It’ll give these two crazy kids a chance to get to know each other better.”
God, he was such a doof, but I could have gotten down on my knees and thanked him for reading the situation properly for once. Normally, Bryant was pretty clueless beyond whatever girl he was involved with.
To her credit, Christina looked at Elise for confirmation that she was okay with her leaving her side. Elise smiled and gave a quick nod before immediately turning back to me as Bryant led Christina away.
“My God, I thought they’d never leave,” she said with a little wink. My eyebrows shot up in surprise. Maybe she wasn’t such a little angel after all. “I know you just got here, so you couldn’t have seen all the mooning they were doing over each other before.”
I rested my elbows on the high table we were sitting at and leaned in.
“Now that surprises me. She didn’t seem that interested in him to me.”
“Christina is an amazing person and a fantastic friend, but she has a bit of sexual ADHD. Put a hot guy in front of her and her antennae shoot right up. She needs a lot of attention from the opposite sex. It’s just her natural inclination to draw it to herself. Normally, I don’t mind, although if I have a steady boyfriend, I tend to dread introducing him to her. It does make for a good test of one’s likelihood of being faithful though, I suppose.”
“Well, angel-face,” I started, “Tonight, I only have eyes for you.”
The crimson rose over her cheeks again as she looked down and hastily took a sip of what looked to be some kind of whisky drink.
“What are you drinking?” I asked as I tried to flag down a cocktail waitress. The place was packed, and the nearest one was being run off her feet, but I had no trouble getting her attention. She nodded to acknowledge me, then topped it off with a sexy wink. I smiled but gave a slight tilt of my head toward Elise, letting her know straight off that all I wanted was to give a drink order.
“It’s called a Sazerac. Have you heard of it?” Elise replied.
“I can’t say that I have, but I’m pretty much a beer or Jack Daniels guy. I don’t pay too much attention to anything else. I keep my pleasures simple,” I said, hoping she would pick up on the signals I was trying to send.
I didn’t usually have to give it a second thought when I was trying to make a move on a girl. Hell, when I stopped to consider it, I hadn’t actually made a move on a girl in a very long time. Lately, they seemed to do all the work for me, and I had only to open my arms and receive the benefits. With Elise, however, I wasn’t going to waste valuable time waiting for her to show a deep interest. So far, she didn’t seem like the type, anyway. She may not have been an innocent, but she seemed like she had more self-respect than most of the women I met. That alone was a big turn-on for me, making me double down on my vow to myself that I’d have her beneath me sooner rather than later.
“Oh, you should try one,” she said as she began to laugh softly. “You may not believe it, but my Grandpa got me hooked on them. It’s an old drink from the eighteen-hundreds, I think he said. It’s made from rye whisky, absinthe, and a few other things I don’t remember. It’s really good.” She shoved her nearly empty glass toward me. “Here, take a taste.”
I grinned wolfishly at her. I couldn’t help it. When a pretty girl tells a guy to take a taste, his mind immediately goes to other places. I winked at her, and picked up the glass, taking a small sip. It had a heavy whisky flavor, but slightly spicy, as well.
“How on earth does a tiny little girl like you get hooked on a hard drink like this?” I asked in wonder.
“First,” she laughed, “let’s get a few things straight. I’m not a girl, I’m a full-grown woman. Don’t let the petite size fool you. Second, ‘hooked’ is an overstatement. Finally, my Grandpa was from New Orleans, and this was his drink of choice. When I finally turned twenty-one, he poured me one of these and said ‘If you’re going to drink, I’m going to show you how it’s done. None of these fruity little drinks that fool you into thinking you’re drinking punch and forget how many you’ve had. If you drink whisky, you’ll know exactly how much and when enough is enough.’”
“And have you reached the enough stage, or would you like another?” I asked as the waitress sidled up to our table. Elise looked at the small bit left in her glass, picked it up and downed the contents. She gave me a cute smile.
“It was only my first one. I can sip on another if you think we’ll be here for a while.”
Oh, how I wanted to grab her hand and lead her out of the bar right then and there. However, I was enjoying just listening to her talk. She had a musical voice, soft and melodic, with a hint of a southern accent. While my body had immediately responded to her, she was drawing me in with that voice and the ease with which she spoke. She was confident, but in a quiet way. She was open and unassuming, and I found that a heady combination with her innocent look. Yes, Angel-face was the perfect name for her.
“Your Grandpa sounds like he was a smart man,” I replied after ordering her another Sazerac and a shot of Jack with a beer chaser for myself. “How did your first glass of whisky go down?”
“Oh my God, it was awful,” she cracked up. “It’s amazing I ever took another drink. I sputtered and coughed as my throat burned. He had a glass of water handy, which helped.”
“If that’s what happened, why did you continue drinking?” I inquired further to keep her talking.
“Well, why does anyone really keep drinking?” She tilted her head to the side in thought. “None of it ever tastes good, to begin with, does it? I don’t want to say it was peer pressure, but drinking can be a helpful social tool. It’s not necessarily its sedative effects, although for some that’s definitely a plus, but it also makes for one more topic of discussion, just like we’re doing now. ‘What’s your drink? Have you tried x, y, z? What is that you’re drinking now?’” She grinned at me as she uttered my own question back to me.
“Also, if you can drink responsibly, it prevents the uncomfortable, but inevitable, question of why you don’t drink. Sure, you can tell someone that you just don’t like the taste of it, but deep down you know they’re wondering if you’re an alcoholic.
“My final reason is I wanted to impress the boys,” she said with another laugh. I lifted my eyebrows in surprise as I smiled at her. That was not something I’d expected.
“What do you mean?” I asked, eager to get deeper into how her mind worked.
“Well, guys make fun of the so-called ‘girly-drinks’. They see a girl drinking hard liquor and she suddenly has some kind of street cred.”
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, and she did right along with me. After a few seconds, she reached over and lightly slapped my bicep.
“You know I’m right!” she exclaimed.
All I could do was shake my head as my laughter began to subside. She wasn’t wrong. It did give a vastly different impression of who she might be although I wasn’t sure exactly what message it sent.
“You are, Angel-face. I don’t know why that’s true, but I have to agree that it is.”
The harried waitress returned, setting our drinks down in front of us. I opened a tab, but based on our conversation, I didn’t expect either of us to drink much more. If I’d had a nicer place, I’d be planning to take her back to my apartment, but a girl like Elise deserved a lot better than my bare mattress on the floor. Inexplicably, I already wanted to give this girl the world. I imagined only the finest of things being worthy of her and was already calculating how much I had in savings, so I could take her out on a really nice date after this. I immediately reconfigured my plan to get her into bed as soon as possible. No, I was going to take my time with my new angel and savor every minute of it. I didn’t realize it, but I had been well and truly captured by the tiny blonde.
Completely oblivious to the fact that Bryant and Christina had never returned to the table, Elise and I talked and joked and laughed for hours as we each sipped our drinks. Surprisingly, Elise went for a third Sazerac, but she never finished it. I think she more or less ordered it just to have something to do with her hands. I know that’s what I was doing, gripping my bottle of beer tightly to keep from reaching for her every five minutes. I wanted to touch her in the worst way, but I was already so invested in the idea of there being an “us” that I held back.
Finally, the bartender rang the big bell at the end of the bar, signaling it was closing time. We looked at each other in shock. We had talked non-stop for five hours with no awareness of anything or anyone around us. Suddenly bewildered over the whereabouts of her friend, Elise dug deep into her purse and pulled out her cell phone. Fortunately, Christina had left her a voice message letting her know she’d gone home with Bryant and that he had assured her Elise would be safe in my care.
She looked at me with big round eyes, slightly flustered.
“What is it, Elise?” I asked.
“Well, it’s just that no one asked if it was okay with you to see me home. Christina is the one who drove. If she was going to go home with Bryant, the decent thing to do would have been to leave me her car.”
“You mean Bryant didn’t pick you both up?” I asked incredulously.
“No! I’m virtually stranded here.”
“You are definitely not stranded. I’ll make sure you get home safely. There’s just one thing…” I said.
“Uh-oh. Is this the part where you turn all creepy on me?” she asked teasingly.
I gave her a false leer for a moment before crossing my eyes and sticking out my tongue like the biggest dork in the whole world.
“No, it’s not. It’s just that I don’t have a car.”
“You don’t? Did you take a cab, then?”
“No darlin’. I ride a motorcycle. Are you okay with that?”
To my surprise, the girl lit up like a candle.
“Hell yeah, I’m okay with that! What kind of bike do you ride?”
I tipped an imaginary hat at her and replied, “Harley-Davidson, ma’am.”
She gave me a delighted grin before grabbing my hand, trying to pull me out the door. I laughed as I stilled her.
“Not so fast, Angel-face. I have to settle the tab and get my credit card back!”
“Well, hurry up! I want to see your hog!” she exclaimed, practically hopping up and down. I just laughed at her enthusiasm and without thinking wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me. Rather than stiffening, she melted against my body. I was a good foot or so taller than her, so she barely reached my shoulder, but I swear it felt like she was right where she was meant to be. I kissed the top of her head affectionately and led her over to the bar to close out the bill.
Once we got outside and she saw my bike leaning on its kickstand, she squealed with glee.
“Is that it? That shiny girl with the blue flames?”
“Yes, that’s Lola.”
“Lola… I like it. It sounds exotic and sexy, just like her.”
I walked up to the bike and unstrapped the helmet. Not having planned to escort anyone home, I hadn’t brought another one. I handed her mine.
“I’m going to have to break a law tonight to get you home, but it would be more of a crime for me to put you in a cab and send you on your way. Seeing you safely to your door is worth the possible price of a ticket.”
“You’re not just risking a ticket, Justin.” She looked at me with a troubled expression. “What if we’re in an accident? I can’t let you put your life in danger.”
“Elise, it’s not that big a deal. I’m sure you don’t live far.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But it’s after two a.m. and we’re leaving a bar. Odds are good we’ll be out among more than enough drunk drivers.”
She did make an excellent point, and I generally was a stickler for helmet safety. For this girl, I’d take that chance, but since she was so adamantly opposed to it, I only fell more under her sway.
“Then, this is what we’ll do. We’ll call a cab, and I’ll ride with you to your place to make sure you get in safely. Then, I’ll have the driver drop me off back here.”
“You’d really do that for me?” she asked.
“Angel-face, I suspect there isn’t a thing in the world I wouldn’t do for you.”