Silas waits on the edge of the deck while I finish my yoga. I fell asleep in his arms last night, and at some point, he must have carried me to my bed. I awoke this morning under the covers, alone.
My mind was a mess when I took Boy for her walk, feeling both elated about our dinner and conversation, and also somewhat confused and disappointed. I wanted him last night. Like really wanted him, yet I put the brakes on things. I can’t make sense of that.
Other things in life have left me uncertain and questioning, but never sex. Not because I don’t take it seriously because, in fact, it’s the opposite. Sex has never been casual to me, and it isn’t with Silas, yet I stopped us from going too far last night. It would’ve been my unraveling. He does things to me with just a look that no man has ever done before. It’s intimate, astonishing and has the power to derail me.
In the light of day, I’m ticked at myself and almost regretting how it ended. How messed up is that?
“Morning,” he says as I roll my mat.
He’s dressed in his usual jeans and a t-shirt, and his hair is up in a man bun. He strolls to where I stand and pulls me into a hug.
“Morning.” I sink further into his embrace.
“You sleep okay?”
“Sure did, and you?” The strong, welcoming smell of cedar is in the air.
“Yeah. You still up for coming with me to sign the contract?”
“Absolutely, my shift doesn’t start until this afternoon. Let me just shower.”
He watches me while I gather my things for the bathroom. “Breakfast is ready when you are, and then we’ll go.” With a smile, he’s gone.
***
We arrive at the record label’s office an hour later and are greeted by a throng of reporters. Fortunately, security is tight, and they can’t get too close.
There were articles and pictures from the restaurant last night in today’s paper and online. I have been dubbed the mystery woman and Silas warned me that it’s only a matter of time before they figure out who I am.
While I am better prepared this morning, I’m still somewhat shaky as we enter the elevator. Bianca’s eyes bore into me, her expression flat and uncaring. She probably thinks I’m a wuss. Like I care.
We are nothing alike, and except for Silas, we have nothing in common. Besides the obvious, physically she’s everything I’m not with her big breasts, perfectly polished façade and curves upon curves; she’s also quiet and cold. I don’t have an opinion of her either way, and something tells me that she doesn’t think I’ll be around for long, so why bother getting to know me.
Like before, they go into the conference room, except this time they’re all on their best behavior, laughing and joking, even Jared. The signing goes off without a hitch, and to celebrate, there’s champagne. Silas pulls me in to join them.
Except for Bianca and Jared being cold and standoffish, the others welcome me with open arms. Jared’s harsh gaze tracks me from the minute I step into the room. I refuse to let him unnerve me. I may not know anything about him, but I can tell he’s scared and lashing out.
The funny thing is, I can see how close Jared and Silas are. Jared’s insecurities and tantrums seem to feed Silas’s loss and anger.
I don’t think they’re necessarily bad for each other, but this isn’t a good time with so much change, and the two of them together could be a bad thing. I only hope making the album is quick and painless.
I can’t help but think of all the time they’ll be spending together and what that could mean for Silas getting out from this world. Silas’s arm is wrapped around my middle, my back to his chest, and he nuzzles into my neck.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispers, his warm breath coating the column of my neck.
“Me too. I want to know everything there is to know about you.” I squeeze his arm around me.
“I feel the same way. I want every little detail about you,” he says.
“Pansy, how are you?” Eli asks as he joins us. His smile is bright and warm, swimming in the depth of his green eyes. “Are you settling in okay?”
“I’m good, thanks. Yes, I’ve got a job, and I’m looking for a place to live.” Silas grunts beside me, and Eli arches his eyebrows as I roll my eyes.
“Silas has a problem with me moving out, but he’ll get over it.”
“I see,” Eli says. “I have a guest house out back that I don’t use, you could live there if you want.”
“No fucking way,” Silas says before I can respond.
“I think what he means to say is thank you, but Pansy wants to find her own place,” I say, my tone reproachful.
“Yeah, what she said,” he grumbles, and we laugh.
Riding the high of the champagne and the jovial spirit in the room, I plant a light kiss on his lips, tasting the toasty, citrus flavors of the bubbly. His fingers dig into my hips, keeping me there as he deepens the kiss. I could get lost in him.
The connection is broken when Jared yells “Get a room!” and we break apart to find all eyes on us. My cheeks flame and Silas grins with a can you blame me shrug. Eli chuckles and with me still anchored to him, Silas carries on as if nothing happened.
Shortly after, I ask for the bathroom, and Bianca offers to take me. The walk down the hall is awkward with stilted chit-chat, but on the way back, she gets to her point.
“Pansy, what are your intentions?”
She pulls on my shoulder to stop me. We’re only feet away from the room, but far enough that no one knows we’re out here.
“My intentions? What are you talking about?” My arms fold over my chest, not liking what she may be insinuating.
“I’m just going to say it like it is. He’s rich and famous. You’re a nobody. I’d be foolish not to ask if you’re hoping to hitch yourself to him. I’m telling you that will never happen.”
“I don’t expect you to believe this, but I don’t want Silas’s money, and his fame means nothing to me.”
She cackles with a wry grin. “Right. And how do you explain that when you’re living with him and mooching off him?”
Her question hits where it counts, and I flinch. “I’m looking for a place of my own, and I’ve got a job. I can understand how it may look, but it’s not like that.”
“Sure. That’s what Silas said. You’ve got dreams of your own.” She’s condescending like I’m some child wishing for a unicorn. “You might want to consider getting on with your life, sooner rather than later.”
“Besides being hugely insulted, a small part of me actually likes you for looking out for him. He needs that, but I can assure you, his fame doesn’t matter to me and I guess you’ll have to take my word for it. Time will tell.”
She arches a penciled brow and purses her lips in skepticism.
“Bianca, let Silas and I figure out our shit, and you worry about controlling the media storm and whatever else it is you do. Perhaps you should focus on your job?”
Without waiting for a response, I march past her back to the bathroom. I’m not running away. I just need to calm down. It won’t help anyone for Silas to see me like this.
He’s protective and will know something is wrong. He will go to battle for me, and it may cause problems. He’s on his path to freedom and a new beginning; I don’t want this meaningless clash to ruin things.
“That was hot.” Jared’s deep voice comes from behind me as I exit the bathroom.
My steps falter. I don’t want another confrontation. Ignoring him, I keep walking. One was enough for the day; I’d rather not go two for two.
“I heard you and B going at it. You’re something else. Fucking loved the claws.”
His innuendo pisses me off, and I fall for the bait, swiveling on my heel to face him.
“Jared, what do you want?” I ask with a bite.
He chuckles, his obsidian eyes penetrating, even darker with the thick black eyeliner surrounding them.
“Nothing, I want absolutely nothing,” he murmurs, stepping into my space until I’m backed into the wall.
He’s got me caged. His body is twice, if not three times, the size of mine and he’s everywhere, surrounding me. My pulse speeds up, and my mouth dries. It’s not really fear, as there’s a room full of people no more than twenty feet away -- I could scream if I needed to -- but rather, his proximity has me on edge.
“Get off me.” My voice pierces like shrapnel, hoping to cut him.
He winces and shakes his head, then chuckles as I push on his immovable chest, leaning further into me.
“We could have a blast. You’re feisty, but with the wrong guy. Silas is fun, but compared to me, he’s boring.”
His fingertips trace the scooped neckline of my blouse and bile bubbles in my throat. “I’m not going to repeat it, get off me.”
I’m giving him another chance, only because I want this to end without incident, although Jared has other plans. When he leers at my chest as if he has x-ray vision and his fingertips move south, I snap.
With a pounding heart and clenched stomach, I calm my mind and focus. He’s at least a foot taller than me, so I push onto my toes, bend my leg, and put everything into slamming my knee into his junk.
Upon contact, he releases a string of expletives, doubling over and backing away. But not before he slams his fist into the wall, mere inches from my face. I shudder, sucking in a sharp breath at the near miss.
His loud bellow is obviously heard as a few people exit the conference room. Silas is among them. Examining the situation, he has no problem figuring out what happened and makes a beeline for Jared.
Yanking him by the collar, Silas pulls Jared to standing. With his forearm holding Jared against the wall, he draws his other arm back, clenches his fist, and delivers a blow to Jared’s jaw.
Jared releases a pained grunt, his head bouncing off the wall, and Silas positions his arm like a slingshot, ready for release. I latch onto Silas’s flexed bicep. “No!”
Silas stills, the humming of his wired and explosive body seeping from him to me. I’m as loaded as he is, our connection alive and his burning energy courses through my veins. It would be so easy to give into the violence, to let Silas go at Jared, but I can’t let that happen.
“Silas, please. I took care of it. He’s not worth it.” My plea may be futile with the adrenaline coursing through him, but I have to try for his sake.
If he continues to hit Jared, it could have serious repercussions. He could damage his hand, the agreement with the band, and maybe even his freedom.
Excluding his heaving chest, Silas is frozen with his arm still raised, poised with intent and Jared pinned to the wall. Jared’s too focused on the pain radiating from his cheek and between his legs to fight or even reason with Silas, which is a good thing. Something tells me he’d make matters worse.
“Silas, stop this now.” Bianca cuts through the tension-filled moment, her tone grating like nails on a chalkboard. Her timing sucks. Her bullish attitude could work against what I’m hoping to accomplish.
Resting my head on his back, I wrap my other arm around his middle and breathe him in. His woodsy masculine scent is soothing.
“Please, don’t do this.” I murmur into his back for only him to hear.
His shoulders deflate, and he drops his arm, slowly backing away from Jared, and then pulling me to face him.
“Did he hurt you?” His hands cup the back of my neck, his eyes are soft and concerned.
“No, I’m fine. I took care of it.”
“You sure did.” He grins and draws me closer to him, his lips skimming my forehead. “Let’s get out of here.”
“I’m so with you.”
As we push through the small crowd that’s gathered, Silas twists to glare at Jared. “This isn’t over.” Each word bleeds fury. “We’re having words.”
Surprisingly, Jared nods agreement before turning his head to the side and closing his eyes. A small exhale of relief leaves my body. Words I can handle, fists are another story.
Eli and Gray catch our gazes, their expressions a mixture of outrage and concern. Silas shares unspoken words with them, and they too nod. Bianca nabs my arms before we enter the elevator, and her features are etched with worry and remorse.
“Are you okay?” she asks, her question directed at me.
“Yes. Just a little shaken, but I don’t think he meant any harm.”
Silas growls, pulling me into his arms. “Fuck that, Pansy. He was way out of line, and he’s not getting off easy.”
“I agree,” Bianca is quick to add.
“So do I. He doesn’t get a free pass, and I took care of things on my end, but I don’t really think he was going to take it any further. I can’t explain it, but I think he was testing me.”
Both Silas and Bianca stare at me with puzzled looks. It’s not something I can easily convey; it’s just a feeling, a sixth sense deep in my gut. It felt as if Jared was pushing for a reaction from me, and as I kneed him, there was this glimmer of surprise, pain, and also relief in his eyes.
“All right,” Bianca says. “Please let me know if you need anything, and I’m going to talk to him too.”
“Thanks, B.” Silas tightens his hold, and the elevator closes, cocooning us in a brief, quiet moment.
As of now, I’m not sure about this. About Jared. Silas hasn’t said it outright, but I know Jared is important to him, even if he is an arrogant bully. I’m not sure if I can play nice with the asshat, even for Silas.