I couldn’t really be pissed that she didn’t show up last night. I’d called her once, to see if she had an estimate about when she would be stopping by. When she didn’t answer or call me back, I got the hint. She didn’t want to talk, and she wasn’t coming by. It stung a little, but I think deep down I knew that was her plan all along. I wasn’t going to pressure her. She’d been through hell and needed some time to herself. I could understand that. Especially considering the hell she’d been forced to endure was directly because of me.

Staring at the ceiling a little while, I thought about what to do now. Landon had been pretty cool about me needing to take some time off for my family emergency, but now I needed to figure out what to do next. Stay in Beatrice to keep working part-time at the gym or head back to Boston and pick up where my old life left off. Deep down, I wanted to stay. I wanted to explore the idea of a relationship with Jenna. I didn’t know if she had any intentions of sticking around herself. She could be heading north to finish her degree. There was so much to think about and figure out. It was all very overwhelming. I closed my eyes, wishing it would all go away and that I didn’t have to make such big decisions.

There was no way I was going back to sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I rolled out of bed, pulled on my sweats and headed to the living room to check out the window. Her car wasn’t in her driveway. She hadn’t come home at all. She was avoiding me. I sighed and headed for the kitchen in need of coffee.

I started the coffee, lost in thought as I stared at the drops of brown liquid dripping into the clear glass pot. I had no idea what was going on between Jenna and I, or if there was anything at all. It could be me looking for something that wasn’t there. I knew very little about Jenna. I had to acknowledge she could have only wanted a tumble in the sack. I was probably reading more into than I should.

“Hey,” Kevin said, walking into the kitchen, rubbing the bandage on his head.

“Hey,” I said, grabbing a second mug from the cupboard. “How’s your head?”

He shrugged. “It’s fine. I’ll survive. My head is a lot harder to crack than the average skull.”

I chuckled. “You’ve got that right.”

“I take it you don’t have company this morning. Did she leave already?”

I paused. Kevin had gone to bed early last night, saying he wanted to give us some privacy. It had all been for nothing. “She didn’t come by.”

“Oh,” Kevin said.

I pulled the half-full pot from under the spout and filled our mugs. “Don’t start,” I said, knowing he was going to lecture me.

He shook his head. “Nope. You don’t get off that easy. You need to shit or get off the pot with that one.”

“What does that mean?” I groused.

“You know what it means. You’re keeping her at arm’s length. She didn’t come by because she doesn’t have a clue who you are or what you want. You can pretend there’s nothing between you, but it’s bullshit and you know it. You fell for her and I have a feeling your pretty little blonde is stuck on you as well. You two are doing this strange dance around each other. Both of you are afraid to make that first move.”

I wanted to believe that, but I couldn’t say for sure. “How do you know? Maybe I’m missing the signs? I see it as her wanting to stay far away from me and I can’t say I blame her. I haven’t been the best friend or neighbor.”

“It’s plain as day. You two have this explosive chemistry between you. Hell, I think it’s contagious. Rose kissed me in the bathroom yesterday and I know there’s nothing between us. Being around the two of you is like an aphrodisiac. We were both feeling the moment, even if you two couldn’t figure it out. You two kept looking at each other like you were going to pounce at any second. It was really uncomfortable, man,” Kevin whined.

I burst into laughter. “Since when are you so damn sensitive. You’ve been watching too many Lifetime movies. I don’t think either of us was looking at each other quite like that. And what the hell? You and Rose?”

He shook his head. “It was nothing. Just a quick kiss. It ended as soon as it started. Don’t change the subject.”

“Rose is a firecracker. I don’t think you can handle her.”

He rolled his eyes. “Please. I can handle her fine. I’m saying you two need to figure out what you’re doing. Try talking—in the upright position.”

“Ha ha, very funny. We’ve only slept together a few times,” I defended.

Kevin burst into laughter. “Only a few. Admit it. You are into her. Hell, don’t admit it to me. Tell her. This is never going to get resolved if you two don’t actually speak to one another.”

“I think I scared her off,” I mumbled.

“Oh, gee, do you mean the part where she jumped out the bathroom window because you were waving a gun around after your window got smashed and you blamed her for it? Oh no, I know. It’s the part where she got the stuffing knocked out of her and kidnapped because some guy hated you. Oh shit, no, that’s not it. It’s got to be the thing about you assassinating the bad guys who knocked her around,” he said, heavy on the sarcasm.

I grimaced. “I don’t have a lot of points in the good guy column, do I? When you put it like that, I sound downright criminal.”

He shrugged. “Not so much, but honestly, that doesn’t seem to bother her as much as one would expect. I think it’s the total package you’ve got going on. She’s young, Colton. You’re a lot to handle. You’ve got a kid and have been around the world literally and figuratively. I have a feeling Jenna is innocent to the ways of the world. Not innocent in that respect, but she doesn’t have your jadedness—not yet. If you want her, you’re going to need to tell her and make it a good story or she’s going to keep running in the opposite direction.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know if I can. It is weird to think of me being with someone else. It’s been so long.”

“It’s time to move on with your life. Find some happiness. Settle your life, so you can really start living again. You’re not going to meet a woman like Jenna again.”

“Probably not, but I don’t think I’m ready for anything serious. I’m barely getting my life back. I can’t rush into this. It isn’t just me I have to think about. Abby is in this as well. I don’t want her to get close to Jenna and then boom, she’s gone one day. She’s already had to deal with that once.”

“You’ve got your life back. You’ve had it back, but you’ve been too blind to see it. Abby already loves her, so there’s no problem there and you know it.”

I took a drink from the coffee mug. “I’ll talk to her, assuming she’ll let me.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” he winked.

“Cara’s only been gone a year. I can’t help but feel like I’m cheating on her or not grieving long enough,” I said, laying it all out there.

Kevin reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. “You’re not. There is no right or wrong amount of time to grieve. You move on when you’re ready. I think you’re ready, you just need to accept it. Once you do that, the old Colton is going to come back. He’ll know what to say and do.”

I smiled. “That Colton has been gone a while. I don’t even remember what it was like to do that first dance.”

“Oh, I think you’re long past the first dance,” he teased.

“It feels so strange to want another woman. Like my brain keeps telling me no, no, no, she’s not Cara, you’re cheating. But my heart, that’s a different story. There’s a connection there and I’ll probably sound like a total asshole, but it’s a different connection than I had with Cara.

“I don’t think that makes you an asshole. If you had that exact same connection with two very different women, that would be weird. Jenna is not Cara. Cara is not Jenna. It’s only reasonable you would connect over different things. That’s not bad. You’ve changed since that first date with Cara. It’s the natural progression of life. You don’t know if you and Cara would have made it the long haul. You know things were a little rocky at times. You were changing, you wanted out of the ring and she was hesitant. Don’t beat yourself up over this. I want you to be happy.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

I walked into the living room, carrying my coffee cup. I opened the curtains, letting the sun shine in. It had been a few days since I’d been able to comfortably stand in my living room, wearing only my sweats as I stared out the window. It felt freeing.

“Nice neighborhood,” he quipped as he stared at the house across the street.

I laughed. “Eh, it’s nice. Quiet. Different than the busy streets of Boston. I have to say, it took me a few days to get used to how quiet it was out here.”

“Uh-oh, lookie there,” Kevin said, as Jenna’s car slowly drove past the house before pulling into her own driveway.

I immediately tensed up when I saw her.

“Go,” he said in a quiet voice. “I’ll stay with Abby. This is your chance. You don’t know if you’ll get another one.”

I nodded. “You’re right.”

I dashed down the hall and slid on a shirt before putting on my shoes. I stopped at the bedroom door and turned to go back into my bathroom, brushing my teeth and smoothing my hair down. It’d been a long time since I had an actual head of hair. After I got out of the military, I let it grow, but that didn’t last long. Hair in the ring was a weapon. It had been cut short for most of my life. Now, I had no idea what the hell to do with it.

I was stalling. My hairstyle was not important. I glanced in the mirror, strengthening my resolve before heading back into the living room. Kevin was still standing in front of the window staring outside.

“Good luck,” he said, as I headed for the door.

I walked across the yards, actual butterflies in my stomach. I took a deep breath before I gathered the courage to knock on her door. I still had no idea what I was going to say. I felt like a stupid kid with a crush.

Jenna opened the door. I stared at her, drinking in the sight of her. It felt like I hadn’t seen her in forever.

“Hi,” I said, lacking anything suave to say.

She smiled. “Hi.”

“Can we talk?”

She pulled open the door, moving out of the way to let me in. She closed the door behind me and in a completely unexpected move, she threw herself against me, her arms going around my neck as her lips pressed against mine.

This was far better than talking.