Spacing out, I watched the little bubbles in the pancake batter form and pop. I couldn’t get my neighbor out of my head. It was like the worst addiction. I hadn’t had so much as a taste, or even touched her, but I wanted to. It was a primal need which I blamed on pheromones. It was something she was putting out into the universe that was fucking with my head.

I flipped the pancake, letting it cook a bit longer before sliding it on top of the stack I had already made. It was our last breakfast with Kevin and I wanted to make it special. I wasn’t a great cook, but I could add water to pancake mix.

“Breakfast is ready!” I hollered.

Abby and Kevin were in her room, unpacking the last of her boxes. I knew Abby was going to miss him a lot. He was like a second father to her, and was a brother to me. I wasn’t going to throw my arms around him and beg him to stay though. My pride kept me from telling him how important he was to me and asking that of him. Pride, plus our small business back in Boston, required at least one of us be in town.

I was glad he hadn’t told Jenna too much about us. I couldn’t trust anyone, and I didn’t want her asking questions. I could be friendly, but needed to keep her at arm’s length.

Kevin and Abby strolled into the dining room where I had the table set with heaping stacks of scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes.

“Damn, this looks good. You outdid yourself,” Kevin said, looking at the spread on the table. “A regular Mr. Betty Crocker.”

“Thank you. It’s the least I can do for all the help you’ve given me over the past week. I really appreciate it. I really couldn’t have done this without you.”

“I’m going to miss Uncle Kevin,” Abby pouted. “How come he has to leave?”

“I know, bug, me too. He’ll come out for a visit soon,” I promised her.

Taking a pancake off the stack, I quickly cut it up for her before dumping syrup over the top.

“You know you only have to call and I’ll be here in a flash,” Kevin said, speaking to her, yet I knew he was really telling me. “I’ll drop everything and get on the first plane here.”

It was going to be strange not seeing him every day. We had been thick as thieves for the past eight years. He’d been at the gym that first day I walked in after getting out of the Marines. I had been a little lost, but he quickly took me under his wing. He’d been there when I met Cara, and when she died. He supported me, believed in me and pulled me through the darkest hours of my life.

I couldn’t allow myself to get melancholy though. I had to be strong for Abby. In a way, I was glad I had no family to speak of. I didn’t have to worry about them being hurt in an attempt to get at me. Kevin knew the score and could handle himself.

We finished our breakfast and while I cleaned up, Abby went to play for a bit.

“What are you going to do with all your downtime?” Kevin asked. “Obviously you can’t fight under your name anymore. I don’t think you’re going to find a lot of guys wanting a trainer around these parts, or even a gym to train in for that matter,” he mused.

“I’ll create,” I said, shrugging a shoulder. “We need to keep the business going and the only way that happens is if I’m still welding.”

“How are you going to get me the pieces to put in the shop?”

“FedEx. If you can ship a tractor across the country, we can ship my pieces.”

“Is that a good idea? What if they track it?”

I shrugged a shoulder. “I’ll be careful. I’ll take pictures of the finished work, you post it to the website and we go from there. We’ve got to do something to keep a roof over our heads.”

“We can take some time off. You know we can. We’re not hurting for cash. Relax and enjoy this break.”

I sighed, nodding my head. “I know, but I need to stay busy. How many times can I mow the lawn? This isn’t a vacation.”

He chuckled. “You don’t even own a lawnmower.”

“Add that to the list of things I need.”

Kevin was silent for a moment. “That neighbor of yours could help you pass the time.”

“No.”

“Come on. You guys have some serious vibes happening between you. When you look at her, I can literally feel the temperature in the room rise a good ten degrees. You know you want her,” he stated.

I shook my head, chuckling at his persistence. “It isn’t going to happen. I don’t have the time or energy for that kind of drama.”

“You have nothing but time.”

“I’m not interested.”

“Bullshit. You haven’t been able to get her off your mind. How many different ways have you imagined yourself with her?”

I scowled at him. “Not… going… to… happen.”

Throwing my dishtowel down, I headed toward the living room. A few minutes later Kevin came into the living room as well, carrying his bag.

“You sure you’re going to be okay here?” he asked, quietly.

“I’ll be fine. We better get going or you’re going to miss your flight.”

I walked down the hall, got Abby and the three of us headed for the airport. With little fanfare, we dropped Kevin off before heading to the grocery store. It was weird being alone. With Kevin around, I could tell myself we were traveling together or on one of our vacations. Now that he was gone, the full gravity of my situation slammed into me. It was me and Abby against the world.

Stalling, I realized I didn’t want to go back to the empty house. When there was nothing else to buy and nowhere else to go, we headed back. As we pulled into the driveway, my eyes drifted over to Jenna’s house. Her car was gone. She wasn’t home, adding to the feeling of being all alone even more.

“Go ahead and go inside,” I told Abby, unlocking the door and depositing the first load of groceries on the kitchen counter.

I finished unloading the groceries before shutting and locking the front door behind me. Standing in the center of the living room, I put my hands on my hips as I surveyed the area. The place was definitely lacking a woman’s touch. It was cold and empty, and I had no idea how to make it look homey. Maybe a plant or something.

Giving up on the home decor, I headed into the kitchen to put everything away.

“Look, Daddy,” Abby said, coming into the kitchen and twirling around, showing off her new princess dress.

“You look very pretty,” I told her, fighting back the feeling of a panic attack building.

She looked so much like her mother, which I figured was karma’s way of haunting me. Abby was a constant reminder of what I had done. My greatest sin would never be forgotten.

Abby smiled, twirling around again. “Will you paint my nails, Daddy?”

Inwardly, I groaned. “Sure sweetie. Let me finish putting away the groceries first.”

Happily, she skipped out of the kitchen. The nail thing was not something I enjoyed at all. I felt ridiculous holding the tiny little brush painting tiny little nails in the first place, plus I knew I sucked at it. The first time I had attempted to paint her nails it was a disaster. I got more polish on her hands and the table then I did her nails. It was my penance, I suppose. Painting her nails was the least I could do after I had taken her mommy away.

Hearing a car door, I immediately rushed to the front window, ready to grab Abby and run out the back. Standing to the side of the window, I pulled back the blinds and saw the lovely Jenna climbing out of her car. I allowed myself a few minutes to watch her. She had on a pair of tight and sexy low-rise jeans, with a tank top that didn’t quite reach her waist. Fuck, she was sexy. It oozed from her. The best part was that she wasn’t even trying.

I loved how down-to-earth she was, and that authentic no-nonsense attitude she presented. If only I were in the market for a little fling, I had a feeling she would satisfy me in every way. I stepped away from the window, taking a deep breath and trying to quiet the erection that was slowly rising to attention. I couldn’t be with her. It was simply too dangerous.

Instead, I sat down at the table with my sketch pad in hand and flipped through some of the designs I had already created. I had stumbled into welding. It wasn’t something I’d even realized could ever pay off. My time in the Marines had set me on a course for my life that I’d never expected. I had earned my black belt in the Corp, which inspired me to pursue the mixed martial arts world. I had been a metal worker during my tour, learning how to weld which was my real passion. Years ago, I began making metal art. I had shown a few pieces to some friends and from there, a career was born. Kevin ran our website and took care of the small storefront we had. He was the people guy. Me, not so much.

“Are you coloring, Daddy?” Abby asked, coming to stand beside the table.

I smiled. “Not yet. I was just looking at my book, trying to get some ideas.”

“I think you should make a princess,” she said, nodding her head.

“You do, huh?”

“Yep.”

“Hmm, I’ll have to see what I can come up with.”

“Can you paint my nails now?” she asked, handing me the little pink box that contained what she referred to as her makeup.

“Yes, I can,” I said, closing my sketchbook and opening her little kit. “What color are we doing today?”

She pretended to think about it before picking the pink. It was always pink. I had bought her some fake makeup a while back. I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but I did it anyway. I didn’t get an instruction manual for raising a little girl on my own and had no sisters or mother available to ask for advice. I was winging it and doing the best I could.

When I was finished with her nails, she blew on them like an expert.

“We’ll let your nails dry and then it’s time to get in the bath,” I told her.

“Daddy,” she whined.

“Nope. Bath. I’ll make some mac and cheese for dinner.”

She sighed, taking her little makeup kit back to her room. She was only four but had the attitude of a teenager at times. I was not looking forward to the real teen years.