Frank
Without a phone, I have no way to get a hold of Sarah. No way to know where she is. No way to know if she’s still in the state. I drive by the parking lot of the extended stay where she used to have a room, but her car is nowhere to be found. I wait, in case she’s running errands, but after an hour passes and the same lady has pulled back her curtains to peer at me for the fifth time, I decide to stop being creepy and leave. At this point, the only chance I have is to catch Sarah at work on Monday.
Outside of that, I know her family is in Brookside, Ohio.
Her brother’s name is Colton.
And they live on a farm.
If Bree can find my home address with nothing more than my name, I can certainly get in contact with Sarah’s family. And through them, hopefully I’ll be able to talk to her. To apologize. To explain one of the dumbest decisions I’ve ever made and tell her how much I love her.
Sunday disappears in a flurry of cleaning and reorganizing. I shower. I shave. I hang that damn shelf back on the wall. I get rid of any evidence of the past week and swear to myself that I will never, ever drink again. I thought if I could have one drink and say no to a second, then I would prove that I was in control of the alcohol, not the other way around.
Turns out, one drink can always lead to two drinks and two drinks can lead to a shitstorm of trouble.
Control is nothing more than a sweet illusion. A sweater with a loose string. One strong pull and the whole damn thing falls apart.
From now on, when it comes to alcohol, the answer is always no.
I’m up bright and early Monday morning. The plan? Be standing outside the entrance to McDougan & Kent when Sarah arrives. But, unfortunately, after a week of existing in a drunken haze in my apartment, I didn’t get the message that they were repaving the parking garage.
My car? Towed.
The building manager? Couldn’t care less.
By the time I manage to talk the douchebag into letting me use his phone to call for an Uber, it’s past ten o’clock. When I make it to McDougan & Kent, it’s well past eleven. So much for meeting Sarah at the entrance.
The last thing I want to do is look anyone in the office in the face and see the total lack of respect that’ll be waiting for me, but Sarah’s worth a little degradation. With my pride in tow, I push through the doors into the building and wait on the elevator.
On the way up to the thirty-first floor, I practice everything I want to say.
A hundred different ways to say I messed up.
A thousand different ways to say I’m sorry.
A million different ways to say I love you.
The car slides to a stop and the doors rumble open with a ding. I stride down the hallway in my jeans and T-shirt, my chin held high as I pass people who stop in their tracks to stare.
I’ve spent the entire morning imagining what might be waiting for me at reception when I finally get here. Maybe Sarah’s smiling. Maybe Sarah’s crying. Maybe she calls me an asshole and tells me to get lost. And I deserve it. My God, I deserve it. I’ll let her say everything she needs to say and if she tries to push me away, I won’t let her. What she and I have is worth fighting for.
Except when I come around the corner, I find Nora sitting at Sarah’s desk. She looks up, recognizes me, and grimaces. “You’re the last person I expected to see here today.”
“Where’s Sarah?” I ask, no time for pleasantries, no worries about drama or gossip.
Nora folds her arms over her chest and purses her lips. “Sarah quit. Walked in here first thing this morning, pushed right into Mr. Kent’s office, and then walked out without a word to any of us. Would have been nice of her to say goodbye.”
My heart sinks. Am I too late? Is she gone for good? I couldn’t blame her for leaving. Not after what I said. Not after what I did. “She didn’t say anything?”
Nora frowns. “Not one word. Although Trish Juniper says Sarah gave Mr. Kent an earful. Told him Bree Marshall was a liar. Sarah stood up for you.” Nora cocks her head to the side. “Wait. Shouldn’t you know all this already?”
If everything was right with the world, I would definitely know all this already. Even better, none of this would have happened. But, I’m living in a crazy, upside-down world, where I had everything I ever wanted and managed to smash it to bits in my fist and then watch it all slip like sand through my fingers.
“I should.” I sigh. “But I messed up. Thought I could come here today and try to fix it, but…” I shrug as a thought distracts me. I might not be able to do anything to fix what’s broken between Sarah and me, but there is a step I can take to stop my tailspin and put my life back on track.
I thank Nora and head down the hallway to the offices while she calls after me. “I don’t think you’re welcome back there,” she says.
I spin and offer her a wide smile. “I don’t care and I won’t be long.”
The vibe is far less hostile than I expected. Instead of glaring and staring, people smile and nod, then glance at Bree and shake their heads. She won’t make eye contact, which is fine with me. I push open the door to Jason’s office.
He glances up, recognizes me, and gives me a questioning look. “I did not expect to see you here today.”
“I came to find Sarah.”
“She left a couple hours ago. Came in. Told off Brian. Then quit. Rumor has it that Bree’s about to lose her job, too.”
“Look, I need to go. I have to find Sarah. I just wanted to stop in and tell you that yes, I’d love to start a firm with you.” I open my hands. “I am not the guy you saw in my apartment.”
“Good.” Jason studies me, a wry smile twisting his lips. “Now get out of here and find your girl so she can kick you in the balls. She should be waiting for you at your place.”