Mark
“You know what your problem is, boy?” Alan asked over that damn phone in the prison visitation booth. “You’ve never had sex with a real woman before.”
“What are you talking about, Pop?” I asked. “I’ve been with plenty of women before.”
I was already starting to regret telling Alan about the shit Nora had tried to pull the other night, trying to get off with only giving me a blow job instead of letting me fuck her. She knew her role — her job was to give me a son so I could take my rightful place as the president of Shadow Reapers.
“No, you’ve been with girls,” he argued.
I groaned and rolled my eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me. You know I’m right. That’s why you’re so aggravated by what I’m telling you. Look, you’ve had a pretty charmed sex life so far, kid. You’ve had all these girls who were willing to satisfy you in any way possible because they thought they were going to get something out of it. You didn’t have to work for any of it. It just happened the way it happened. They wanted attention. You gave it to them. They didn’t care how they got it or what kind they got, as long as they got it.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I had asked him how to go about handling Nora and her little tricks to try to get out of having sex with me. That was a mistake, I realized.
“I think it’s damn funny you’re having trouble now that you got yourself a real woman. Sounds like you found a good one though, if she’s already trying to figure out how to get one over on you. Maybe you need a challenge. It’ll turn you into more of a man, boy,” he said with a mean-ass grin on his face.
“I don’t know why I even bothered,” I said. “I expected you to be able to give me some kind of advice, and all you can do is sit here and talk shit.”
“I know why you bothered,” Alan said, his sudden change in tone catching me off guard. He sounded like he was about to give me some genuine advice for once.
“Please, tell me, Alan, why did I even bother?” I asked, making no effort to hide how exasperated I was.
“Because you’ve never had a legitimate relationship before, and now, you’ve got to maintain this woman. You may have brought her in so you could have somewhere to deposit your seed to get a kid down the road, but by promising to keep her, you’ve taken on responsibilities for her,” he said.
I couldn’t believe it. My dad was actually being a dad for a change. He was dropping some relationship knowledge on me, talking about things we had never talked about together before.
I knew he was right. I was responsible for her, but that didn’t mean I wanted to admit it.
“You want things to stay the way they’ve always been for you,” he continued. “You want to come in, hit it, and run off as soon as you’re finished. Boy, you’re not going to be able to keep this woman like that.
“If you want to build loyalty within the MC, you’ve got to start with a loyal woman. You’re not going to keep a loyal woman if you keep hitting it and quitting it every chance you get. Sure, you might get her pregnant, but the MC will see what a douche you’re being, and you’ll wind up like my old president, dead in a fucking ditch somewhere.”
He looked me dead in the eye as he said it, and a chill ran down my spine. I knew when Alan talked about the dangers of the MC life, he knew what he was talking about. He’d written the book on what it meant to be ruthless in our little game.
“So, tell me more about how you’re keeping her,” he said.
“I’m giving her money for groceries and other things she needs. I’m covering her utilities and her rent,” I told him.
“How does she dress? Where does she live? Does she drive? If so, what does she drive? Does she hang out with the old ladies and the club girls? Come on, boy, give me some real details. Stop doing like your bitch and trying to suck me off instead of giving me the good shit.” He chuckled at that last bit, pleased with himself for the reference he’d made.
“She lives in a small one-bedroom apartment. It’s kind of claustrophobic.”
“Stop right there,” he interrupted me. “You’ve already fucked up. You need to move her into a better place. You need to make sure she has plenty of clothes. You need to make sure she’s driving a nice car or you’ve got her on your bike as often as possible. And before you tell me she hasn’t been to the clubhouse since the night you took her off that other cocksucker’s hands, let me tell you she needs to be there with you every day. Got it?”
“Yes, sir,” I said. I felt like a little kid who’d just slipped up and said the wrong thing to an adult. I couldn’t win with Alan. I had never been able to.
“So, when you leave here today, what are you going to do?” he asked.
“I’m going to start working to improve my woman’s station,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure if I was going to go through all that trouble for her yet.
“No, you’re not,” Alan said, calling me out like he could read my mind. “I’ll tell you what you’re going to do. You’re going to go back, and you’re actually going to consider how she feels about what you’re doing. You’re going to stop abusing her with your sexual in-and-out bullshit, and you’re going to treat her like the lady you want giving you a son.”
“Okay, but how do you know I’m not going to do better than that?” I asked him, honestly curious.
“Because I wouldn’t. Don’t be an idiot, kid. I’ve been at this a lot longer than you have. Hell, how do you think I got you?” He winked and gave a wheezing laugh.
“You alright over there?” I asked him. “That didn’t sound too good.”
“All those years smoking, boy. Killing my lungs. But don’t get your hopes up, I’m not going to kick the bucket anytime soon. I’m going to sit my happy ass back here and torment you as long as I can.”
I nodded. That was my dad, alright. That was the same as he’d been my entire life, busting my balls every step of the way.
“So tell me, son, is she as good as she sounds?” he asked.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, you dirty old pervert?”
He laughed a hearty laugh at that one. “Good one, kid. Good one. You’ll pay for that one day, though. When I get out of here, I’m going to tear you a new one.”
“I’m hoping that when you get out of here, I’m the new president, and you don’t have a seat at the table anymore.”
His eyes sparkled. “That’s what I’m talking about. You are listening after all. Glad to see it. Now, get your ass out of here, go home, and take care of the woman who’s supposed to be the mother of your child. Don’t screw this up, kid.”
“Thanks, Pop,” I said.
“Boy, don’t you…”
I hung up the phone before he could finish, laughing as I got up and walked away. He hit the glass between the booths, and I heard the guard call out his name.
I walked out of the prison and headed back to the clubhouse with a lot to think about. I had to start considering Nora. And it hit me that maybe she seemed like she was trying to pull a fast one on me because she didn’t want to start working on the baby yet.
I couldn’t treat her like one of the little club girls I used and threw away after sex. That thought made me wonder if there was room in our arrangement for club girls. Since I was going to have to treat Nora with some respect, was there room for meaningless sex with the chicks hanging around the clubhouse?
I laughed at myself. Of course there wasn’t room. And being respectful toward her didn’t automatically mean I couldn’t fuck the shit out of her from time to time.
But I had to treat her like the person she was. She was worthy of my respect for her attitude alone. She was a ball-buster unlike any girl that I had met before.
I found myself sitting outside the clubhouse as I thought about Nora. I wasn’t willing to give up control in the bedroom, but I figured I might have been willing to give her an actual chance. If I was keeping her, and I expected her to give me a child, I had to treat her differently, like Alan had suggested.
I killed the engine to the bike and got off slowly. Walking back into the clubhouse felt strange after thinking about Nora the way I had been. All the club girls hanging around seemed so pointless now. I had felt a hint of that the other night, when I stumbled upstairs drunk and used one of them for support before running her stupid ass off.
Nora was definitely not one of them, and I needed to stop treating her like she was. Otherwise, I risked losing her and the MC.