Chapter 23
Lily
I couldn’t see.
I couldn’t see and I was in the middle of a room.
What room was I in?
I scooted forward, ignoring the throb in my cheek as I swept my hands back and forth in front of me. After what felt like forever, my hand brushed up against something hard. I wrapped my hand around it.
It was a chair. A kitchen chair. One that Trix had been so happy to refinish after she’d found the set at a garage sale the year before.
I was in the kitchen.
I continued reaching forward and ran into a wall. No, it wasn’t a wall. It was a counter. I started to get to my feet, but dropped back down when my lungs started burning. No. No standing.
Lifting my arms above my head, I felt for the edge. I was at the corner.
The corner of the counter in the kitchen.
I knew where I was. Closing my eyes against the smoke, I clenched my hands together in front of me and urged my breathing to slow. It was getting hard to find any air, and I had to be careful with what little I had.
Pushing myself to my hands and knees, I moved away from the counter, counting. I knew my way around this house. I knew that it took thirteen steps from the counter to the hallway. Another seven steps forward and one step to the left and I’d be in the office. From the door of the office to the panic room was another five steps along the wall.
My steps were off. I realized that as soon as I’d reached thirteen and couldn’t feel the corner of the wall. Dropping my head against the floor in defeat I re-traced where I’d been in my memory. I needed to move. I needed to get going. The boys knew not to come out until someone came to get them. They were just sitting there. Waiting for me while the house burned down around us. I had to move.
My steps were shorter, I finally realized. Shuffling along the floor wasn’t the same as walking and I just hadn’t gone far enough. God, I was tired. No, no I wasn’t. I was fine. I had to keep moving.
I pushed myself back up and kept going. A few more shuffles and I reached for where the wall should be. Still nothing. A few more. There. There it was.
I coughed and gagged as I dragged myself down the hallway, my movements feeling sluggish and slow. Seven steps. Add a few more. There was the doorframe. It was the first door on the left. I’d found it.
I reached up and felt for the door handle. It was cool.
I shuddered in relief. Oh, thank God.
Pushing it open, I hurried inside as fast as I could and slammed the door behind me.
The room was less smoky than the hallway had been, but something must have been wrong with the power, because the light switch didn’t turn on any lights. It was pitch black in the room, and even though the air was a little bit less smoky, I still couldn’t see anything.
Pulling myself to my feet using a bookshelf by the door, I laid my hand on the wall and took five steps forward. Bingo.
My hands fumbled as I ripped the picture off the wall hiding the keypad that would open the panic room.
Oh shit. Oh, fuck. No.
I couldn’t remember the code.
I couldn’t remember the goddamn code.
Tears ran down my face from frustration and panic as I searched my memory. I’d known it. It hadn’t changed since Trix and Cam had moved in. It was a date. A date or a number or a song that I should have remembered.
Think.
Think.
I knew it. I had to.
I just had to block everything out. This was just like that time when I’d gotten lost outside the clubhouse. I hadn’t been able to remember what direction I’d walked off in, and I’d had to sit down and retrace my steps in my mind. This was the same.
I sat down on the floor and made myself ignore the way that more smoke seemed to be seeping under the doorframe.
Cam had told me the code. He’d brought me into the room and he’d taken the photo down. Then he’d put my hand on the keypad. What had he said?
“Up, down, left, left, right, down, up, little sister. Feel that? Now say it back to me.”
Scrambling to my feet, I lifted my hand to chest level and felt for the keypad.
“Up, down, left, left, right, down, up,” I sang to myself the way I’d done the first time.
A green light flickered and the door came open with a click, making me sob.
“Aunt Lily?” Draco called, his words broken with coughing.
“I’m here,” I said, my voice barely audible. “I’m here, guys.”
“What’s happening?” Curtis asked, his little hands finding mine in the dark.
“The house is on fire,” I said quickly. “Come here.”
I felt four little hands grasping at my arms and almost fell to my knees in relief.
“Where’s Gray?” I asked, gripping their hands.
“He was right here,” Curtis said. “Gray?”
“Gray?”
A large boom shook the house and my breath stalled in my throat.
“Go to the window,” I barked, pushing them out of the panic room. “Don’t go to the door, just go to the window behind your dad’s desk. Go. Push out the screen and jump out.”
“But where’s Gray?” Draco said tearfully. “Gray?”
“I’ll get Gray,” I said, still shoving at them. “Go now.”
“We can’t just leave you,” Curtis snapped. “Gray? Come here, buddy!”
“Curtis,” I yelled, shoving him hard. “I said to fucking go!”
I heard the sound of pain he made, but I ignored it as I dropped to my knees.
“I can’t see,” Draco said. “Aunt Lily, I can’t see the window.”
“That’s because the curtains are closed,” I yelled, trying to sound reassuring and failing over the sounds of crashing coming from other parts of the house. “Four steps forward, guys, okay? Then you’ll feel the desk. Go around it and you’ll find the window.”
“Aunt Lily,” Curtis cried, his voice warbling.
“I’m right behind you. I swear. Go.”
It took a few seconds, but as soon as I saw moonlight coming in the window, I knew they’d found it. A rush of air whooshed in as they slid it open, but I was no longer paying attention. I was crawling inside the panic room on my hands and knees, searching for a tiny boy that was probably curled up somewhere, scared out of his mind.
I heard the screen screeching as they shoved it out the window just as I found Gray sitting under the small table in the corner of the room.
“Gray, come here, baby,” I said, sliding my hands up his legs and torso until I could feel his little armpits. I pulled him out from under the table and held him tight to my chest as I got to my feet, staggering under the slight weight of him.
“Lily’s got you,” I said, keeping my face next to his as I bent at the waist. Smoke had filled the room in the short time since I’d closed the door, and I kept my eyes shut tight as I pressed Gray’s face against my neck. “Almost there,” I rasped, opening my eyes just long enough to watch Draco’s shape disappear out the window.
“I’ve got you.”
The house shifted and I tripped, almost falling to my knees as I took those short steps to the desk. Every inch forward seemed like it took an eternity.
“Lily,” I heard just in front of me as I finally felt a very faint brushing of cool air against my face. “Come on, baby girl.”
Two more steps and my stomach hit the window ledge.
“Gray,” I rasped, pushing him toward the person I couldn’t see.
I opened my eyes as my cousin Will took Gray from my arms. “I’ve got him. I’ve got him,” he reassured me as he pulled Gray away. The baby’s little hands had been holding my t-shirt so tight that Will had to forcefully yank him back.
“Lily,” he called, scratching at my arms as he tried to keep his hold on me.
As soon as he’d handed Gray off to the person behind him, he reached inside the window and dragged my tired body out.
I don’t remember the next few minutes.
I know that the fire department got there. They quickly took over and placed masks on each of our faces, and within a few minutes, had us loaded into ambulances.
I saw my mom running toward me.
I saw my brother falling to his knees between the boys, who were sitting in the grass, holding hands.
I saw Leo, holding Gray, but staring at me, terrified.
Then, from above me, a familiar face smiled reassuringly as they got me onto a stretcher.
“Hey, stranger,” he said. “How you doing?”
“Brent,” I rasped, reaching for his arm. “The baby?”
“You’re pregnant?” he asked, glancing at his partner.
I shook my head and waved my hand toward Gray. “The baby.”
“Oh,” he said, nodding his understanding. “He’s going to be just fine.”
“Him before me,” I ordered, shaking my head in protest as they started to load me into the back of the ambulance. “No. Him before me.”
I sat up and started tearing at my mask, frustrated that he obviously couldn’t understand me. I met Leo’s eyes across the grass, pulling at the shit they’d used to strap me down.
“Dandelion, don’t,” Leo shouted, taking a few steps forward.
I grunted when Brent’s long fingers gripped my wrist and pulled it gently away from my restraints. He slid the oxygen mask back on my face before speaking.
“He’s okay,” Brent said sternly as my mom climbed into the ambulance with us. “You have to go first, okay? He’s getting checked out, but you’re my responsibility and we have to go now.”
“You’re okay, baby,” my mom said, her hand coming to rest comfortingly on my shoulder as the ambulance doors closed. “Everyone’s okay.”
I closed my eyes and passed out.