I feel my heart hammer in my chest when the thief enters the room and points the gun at Alex. Scrambling to put my pants on, not wanting it to be the reason we get shot, I fumble with the zipper and it gets stuck in the cloth, so I have to abandon zipping my pants all the way and put my hands up.

Alex seems so calm as he puts his pants on and looks at the perpetrator, and I gasp, recognizing the bartender from the dining room.

“You have thirty seconds to give me the diamonds, or I’m going to shoot you,” the bartender says.

Alex continues to look calm when he says, “Who are you? What are you talking about? I don’t have any diamonds.”

“Don’t lie to me, Aaron. I know who you are, and I know you’re supposed to meet me on this cruise to buy the diamonds, but I’ve decided it’s just easier to take them and leave instead.”

“Leave? How are you going to leave? We’re in the Atlantic Ocean.”

Alex’s question seems so nonchalant and logical, it makes me pause. How can he be worried about something like that right now? Just give the guy what he wants! I know that’s ludicrous, Alex doesn’t have any diamonds, does he?

“That’s not the point. Give me the diamonds or I’m going to shoot you, Aaron!” the guy waves his gun around in Alex’s face, and I can see his face is purple with rage by the moonlight.

“I’m not Aaron!” Alex insists. “He’s my twin brother. You have us mixed up. Please!” I see Alex’s gaze slide to me and I continue to remain frozen where I am.

“I don’t believe…”

At that moment, the door bursts open and a man identical to Alex walks in the room.

“I heard shouting,” he says as the bartender turns on him and we both look slowly between Alex and Aaron. He’d been telling the truth. Aaron is identical to Alex, except the way they dress. I should have known it wasn’t him in the hall.

The bartender takes a minute before it dawns on him as well that there really is a mix up. He points the gun at Aaron and growls. “I want the diamonds and I want them now.”

Aaron doesn’t bother to put his hands up, but stares at the man with the gun, who grows angrier the longer he has to wait.

When neither Aaron nor Alex move, the bartender seems to notice me. “Alright, if the two of you won’t give me those diamonds, I’ll shoot him,” he points the gun at me and I see the glint of metal in the moonlight. It’s strange, the thoughts that go through my head as I stare down the barrel of my own death. I wonder, did I have a good run? If it all ends now, am I satisfied with the way I’ve lived? The things I’ve done? I look at Alex who is standing there so calm and so brave, and I regret not having admitted to myself before tonight that I am gay. I regret not having given such a caring man more time and taken a chance on a relationship with him.

What will happen when this makes the news? There’ll be no denying my secret will be out. I’m not sure I’m ready for the world to know, having just admitted it to myself, but in a way, I’m glad I had the time with Alex, as short as it’s been. I just wish I’d been granted more time. I hear the shuffle of the bartender’s boots on the carpet and I look down then back up. My dad gave me that hat to wear with pride and I’m going to be proud of all of the things in life that I do.

I look the bartender right in the eyes and he sneers at me. “Sorry to have broken up what I’m sure was a romantic evening, but I have a love, too, you know. I love money, and right now, they are standing in the way of me getting it.”

I nod, not needing to answer him. I’d already guessed at his motivations. I’m just now wondering what Aaron’s are. He hasn’t moved a muscle since coming in the room. The more I look between him and Alex, the more I see the slight differences. He’s more haggard looking than Alex. Alex is so calm and collected, and Aaron looks like the rabbit caught and ready to bound away. Where Alex has laugh lines, Aaron has lines of stress and anxiety, like life on the edge has given him one too many creases.

I turn my attention back to the bartender. “Shooting me still doesn’t guarantee you’ll get the diamonds,” it’s my only plea for my life. I know the kind of man I am. I’m the one my father shaped me to be. A hard worker, resilient, determined, and kind. I’ve worked hard to emulate that, and I’m determined not to kowtow to this man like I have the other aspects of my life that my mother instilled in me. Kindness, love and humbleness. I’ve been a coward when it comes to my own sexuality, there is no way I’m going to be a coward and beg now.

“Aaron, please!” Alex begs.

I glance at Alex who’s looking at his brother. His face is passive except for his eyes. His eyes are doing the pleading for me and I think for a moment, maybe Alex is showing everyone it’s okay to feel for someone and rely on someone. He’s relying on his brother to do the right thing. If he believes so much that Aaron will do the right thing, then maybe I can believe in Alex, too, and face the world when they learn my secret.

Aaron looks at the bartender and slowly reaches down to his pants. He pulls out a small black leather case and tosses it on the bed. We all glance at it, it’s a small makeup case with a golden G on the front. I think Gucci, but it’s hard to tell in the low light.

“Take them. Take them and leave us alone,” Aaron whispers.

The bartender keeps the gun trained on me and slowly makes his way to the bed, watching Aaron the entire time. I see Alex look at the gun and shake my head, almost imperceptibly. The bartender looks like he’s considering Aaron to be the most dangerous threat to his escape, and he wouldn’t anticipate Alex making a move for the gun, but there’s no need for him to be a hero. We’re more likely to come out of this if he lets the bartender have the diamonds and run.

The bartender fumbles around on the bed and finally closes his fingers around the case. He makes his way slowly to the door, ordering Aaron to move around him and stand with us. When he gets to the door he opens it, peeking into the hall while still aiming the gun at us. Then he turns and begins sprinting down the hall. No one moves for a moment and before I can stop him, Alex takes off at a run after the bartender.

“Alex!” I shout and run after him. We weave in and around halls and through rooms as Alex and the bartender have a few moments head start. They’re faster than me with their long legs, and I run around a corner they’d just passed near the crew members cabins to the rear of the ship and stop quickly, putting my hands in the air along with Alex and Aaron. The bartender is getting up from the floor with the gun in his hand and snarling at Alex.

“Stay back! I mean it. If you try to prevent me from leaving again, I’ll shoot you!”

Alex holds his hands up and I see his chest rise and fall. He’s breathing heavily from exertion and nods to the bartender who opens a side door in the hall we’re in. I hear the rush of wind and water and watch as the bartender, bag and gun in hand, descends a ladder to what must be a boat below. In another moment, we watch as a small vessel speeds away from the cruise ship. The bartender must have had this planned all along.

Alex turns back to us, grinning, and I feel the heat rise in my cheeks.

“What were you thinking?” I demand.

“I had to get them back. I couldn’t let him get away. Are you okay?” he looks me over and I feel my head nodding.

“Yes, of course. Well, no, not really. Alex, had to get them back, the diamonds? Are you crazy? He got away anyway. You shouldn’t have chased after him like that, he had a gun!”

Alex looks at his brother and then bends, retrieving a small black bag from under the lip of ladder that ascends to the deck above us. “No, he didn’t. I had to get them back for Aaron,” he turns to Aaron and hands him the bag. “You’re my brother, and although you do some of the stupidest things, I couldn’t let you go down for this.”

Aaron opens the bag Alex hands him and we all stare in awe at the shining diamonds inside.