Benz

That had to be some kind of land speed record for getting dumped by a woman. I’d had the most incredible night of my life. I thought she did too and then Jen nearly broke the sound barrier getting the fuck out of my place.

I watched her get in her little Bug and drive as fast as the little tin can would take her.

I wondered what I had done wrong. Or maybe it was just the reality that I wasn’t a poster boy for the Chamber of Commerce? Tats, leather, bikes. Maybe I was a bucket list fuck.

I supposed it didn’t help when I answered her questions about my family.

My background was an unholy shit show. I was good for a night, but maybe that was about it when it came to women like Jen Guffy.

The hell of it was I knew there weren’t many women like Jen Guffy out there.

They were rare. I thought about Bear and Mama Bear. How had they figured it out?

Mama Bear tolerated a lot of shit from him, but there must have been some sort of line. He must know where it is. Mama Bear is one of the most high-quality people on the planet, and she stayed with Bear. His blood was Dark Saint through and through.

I couldn’t sleep after she left, so I showered and headed to the club.

I didn’t have to be alone. I wasn’t ready to share my recent spectacular failure at keeping a woman around, but it was good to be at the MC, no matter what was happening in my life.

Kade, Maddox, and Bo were there, in various states of sleep, sex, or sauced, so I didn’t interrupt any of them. Axle was nowhere to be found. Now that he was a married man, finding him at 3 a.m. at the clubhouse was a rarity.

I was restless. I wandered back to Bear’s office and there was Mama. She was a night owl. Sometimes she stayed in their house, but luckily for me, tonight she was here working.

“Pretty late to be so sober and alone there, Benz.” She was looking over club books. Maddox was the club treasurer, but Mama was his back up. I know we had a lot of irons in a lot of fires.

I had no doubt that Mama Bear’s organizational skills kept me paid on time and away from the IRS for my less-than-upstanding activities.

“Yeah, I wasn’t alone up to an hour or so ago, but I chased her off.”

“On purpose?”

“No, total accident. Couldn’t tell you what I did this time.”

“Give me a break. Women fall all over you.”

“Club groupies. I find I have no interest anymore.”

“What is this? Benz is getting deep.”

“How do you and Bear do it? How did he get you?” What I really mean was, how had Bear, who had been in this club as long as anyone, gotten a nurse, a vet for that matter, to come anywhere near him?

“Well, it’s a day-to-day thing. Bear knows I could bolt at any time.”

“But you don’t.”

“I don’t. Bear and I, well, I’m shit without him. That’s just all there is to it.” She relayed that as a statement of fact that she wasn’t all that happy about.

“I’m sure it’s the same for him.”

“It’s worse for him.” She winked at me.

“No doubt.”

“Maybe that’s why I stay. And you guys. I couldn’t let you raise yourselves. So tell me about this non-groupie you chased away?”

“Get this, she’s a librarian.” Mama Bear laughed at that one. I knew she would.

“Well, I wouldn’t have figured you for the librarian type, but love is totally random isn’t it?”

“Love? Not sure about that one, but there was something different about her. Looks like I won’t be getting a chance to find out. Never saw a VW take off so fast.” Mama Bear’s eyes got serious and she lowered her glasses.

“You’re a good man Benz. You came from a shitty start. That’s true. But you’re not Kenny Bass. You’re not Kenny by a mile. I knew Kenny a little. He was weak, stupid, and jealous. You’re the opposite. This librarian has half a brain, she’ll be back.”

“Thanks, Mama.” I walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I’d come to get some support from my Brothers, but it was Mama Bear who got my head on straight.

I’d heard it before. My shit of a Dad tried to get into The Saints, but he couldn’t even make it as a probie. He was impatient, greedy, and had stupid ideas all the time.

The bank robbery was the stupid idea that got him killed.

And I didn’t spend even a minute crying about it. Neither did any member of The Dark Saints.

Kenny Bass got what he deserved.

I hadn’t thought about any of this shit for any length of time in years.

One night with Jen Guffy and I’d turned into a pussy.

Fuck that. I needed to toughen back up.

I had to get ready for tonight.

I had a drug deal to babysit.

I was going to be sure no one messed with it.

It was quite literally a bear trap and, if it worked, The Saints would lure who we needed to and stop the heroin trade from gripping our town like it was everywhere else in the U.S.

I headed to the front of the club. I was feeling more settled. I needed to get a few things ready for tonight.

“Hey, brother, headed to town?” Kade emerged from one of the bedrooms. He’d hooked up last night. I could see around the door that it was probably Jackie or one of her friends. They were good for a night, but that was about it.

That used to be all I needed.

Damn that woman.

“I am. Want to ride in with me?”

“Yep, let me get my shit.”

I heard some complaining coming from Jackie. But Kade ignored it and walked out.

“Toby, make sure Jackie gets home in a few hours.” A probie’s job was never done.

“Got it, Kade,” Toby said. I suppose transporting slightly drunk women was a step up from cleaning up after Rufus. Rufus was the club mutt, and he was slightly higher on the food chain that the probies. Some days I was sure Rufus was higher on the food chain than me.

“You get the details from Bear on what we’re doing?” Kade asked as we walked to our bikes.

“Yep, should be pretty straight forward.”

“It’s going to be hard not bashing their faces in, but yeah, let them think they’re dealing in Port Az.”

“Yep, fish in a barrel.”

I was glad I’d come to the club. As usual, it got my head on straight and reminded me of who and what was important in my life.