Jen

I lurched forward into Benz’s arms. The idea that he’d defied the only family he’d ever known to save me was profound.

He’d made a sacrifice in an instant, without hesitation. And he’d done it after discovering I had lied to him.

My world shifted on its axis at that moment. I had everyone categorized as a good guy or bad guy. The Dark Saints were bad and I was good.

Except it was all wrong.

I felt stupid and naïve. I’d seen this man basically burn his own house down around him for me.

I put his face in my hands and looked into his eyes. There was pain there. He’d seen so much more than I had. He’d done so much more. We were connected by violence in our past, but tenderness when we were together.

He was a beautiful soul and I had almost missed it.

I kissed his brow.

“Thank you.” It was a whisper.

I brushed his hair through my hand and sat on his lap. It was like I was really looking at him for the first time. Really touching him. The tough exterior. The violent life. It had shielded me from the man. And I wanted the man.

I felt starved for him. I couldn’t stop kissing him. I had to touch all of him.

“You don’t have to...”

“Shh. I have to love you,” I said and the word love came out easily.

“Thank God,” he said and he pressed his lips to mine.

It was a slow deep kiss that was a shadow of the hot as hell kisses we’d shared. I wanted the kiss to go on and on, and it did, in its way.

I pushed his leather away and he pulled my shirt over my head. I wanted nothing between us. I wanted everything he had.

Benz slid the straps of my bra down and raked his fingers over my nipples. Then his mouth trapped one and teased it with his tongue. He reached behind me and unhooked my bra. It was so good being so free. Benz used his mouth and his hands to torture my sensitive nipples.

We were on the floor and I didn’t care; we could have been on the moon for all I knew. A flurry of kisses and hands and I was bared to him.

He cradled me in his arms and let his mouth run from my neck to my belly. I wrapped my body around his. I was desperate to be closer.

I put my hands on his chest and marveled at it. His body was all hard edges and heat. My skin against his produced a chemical reaction. It sent my blood racing and put me in the moment like nothing ever had in my life. There was no MC. There was no family history to avenge. There was no worry about proving myself.

It was only Benz’s hands on my body, his lips on my lips. It was so right that it seemed more real than anything else that came before it.

“Benz, make love to me.”

“Yes, baby.” He kissed me again and it took my breath away. He leaned me back and hovered over me for a moment.

“I can’t go back after this. This is different,” he said.

“I know.” And I did know.

Something was happening between us that was more than a hookup. It was more than the wild sex we’d had before. We were opening to each other and connecting on a level that was new.

He wasn’t just fucking me, nor I him, and he gave me a second to understand it. He gave me a heartbeat or two to accept or reject it.

I’d been confused, afraid, and convinced of things in rapid succession since I’d come to Port Az. But with Benz, there was clarity. Beautiful clarity in how we made each other feel.

Slowly I felt his hard sex at mine.

I was so open and ready it was almost too much to hold onto. I pushed my bone to his bone, my heat to his heat, and I gasped.

“SO good,” he whispered in my ear. He was feeling this too.

“Yes,” I said.

His rhythm was slow and, with each stroke, I felt a tension build in me that needed release. He took me to the edge and then pulled me back, over and over.

I held on to him with my whole body. I gripped his powerful back. I reveled in the sensation. His pace quickened and the seductive attention, the control he’d lavished on me, started to unhinge.

His own body was getting from me what I was getting from him. I was slammed to the floor harder each time and I felt a powerful release ignite from my toes up through my core.

I screamed, “Benz!”

He felt me hitting the peak of pleasure, and he drove into me over and over.

Benz made a guttural sound that was part agony, part animal. His orgasm rocked me again and I felt another crest with him.

He held me so tightly, for a moment I couldn’t see or breathe. We undulated together, slowly, in a glow of something primal.

I didn’t want to break the spell. But I had to gasp for air.

“Here, here.” He flipped us like he’d done before and I was now on his chest. I took in a breath of air. I was amazed at being able to breathe. That I was here still, alive, and it was because he’d sacrificed something dear to him.

I closed my eyes.

“Wow.” That was all I could come up with.

“No one’s going to lay a hand on you. That’s my promise. No one,” he declared and I felt him shower kisses on the top of my head. He stroked my arms with his fingers.

“Benz. You went against your brothers for me. I don’t understand all of what that means. I don’t really understand your club. I thought one thing, but it was something else. I just want you to know that I do know you’re sacrificing for me. And I just…”

“Shh. Let’s just lay here and be,” he said and was right.

My mind had been going a mile a minute for so long that I’d forgotten how to just be. If I ever knew.

Benz produced a thin blanket from somewhere and covered us. He seemed fine on the hard floor and made his body a place where I could lay down and rest.

I don’t know how many hours went by, but dawn had broken when I woke up again. I was curled up on the bed. Benz had moved me and I hadn’t stirred.

Where was Benz? I looked around. I had a small stab of panic. Had he left? Why had he left?

I looked around and saw his things. I would have heard his bike if he’d ridden off, for sure. Then the door opened.

He was there, white t-shirt, well-worn jeans, a bag of groceries in one hand, and two coffees in the other.

“Good morning,” I said and he set the bag down and came over to the bed with the coffee.

“I’ve never seen you in the morning. You look so beautiful.” I covered my face. I couldn’t imagine what I looked like at this point. “No, really. Careful, this is still hot.”

“Thank you.” I knew he was looking at me, almost studying me. I tried not to blush or shrink away.

The coffee tasted good and did the job of helping me shake the sleep off.

“I think that was the best sleep of my life.” It was true. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours, but it was deep, satisfying sleep.

“I didn’t want to wake you for my supply run.”

“Where the heck did you go?”

“There’s a front desk and a camping outfitters type place here. I’ve been here before. I paid for last night and one more night if we need it. Then I got a little bit of food for us. And a few things for you.”

“Wow, quite the shopper.”

“Here’s the thing. I have an agreement with the guy who runs the place. I take care of things for him now and then, and he doesn’t see me. You get it?”

“I guess?” I didn’t really.

“You can’t be seen. You gotta stay hidden until I can figure stuff out.”

“I have a million questions, like what will the police in– ”

“ –Yeah, let’s finish our coffee first. You get a shower and then we go to work.”

“Work?”

“Yeah, figuring out how to get us both out of this mess.”

“Okay, any change of clothes in there?” I pulled the bag forward.

“Take a look.”

There was a Texas t-shirt, a packet of underwear, and a pair of drawstring shorts.

“My wardrobe is set.” I couldn’t help but smile thinking what he must have looked like picking out the packet of women’s panties at the camp store.

“I figure you need stuff. Women need stuff. And you can wash what you’ve got while you wear this.” He was like a kid, hoping I would approve.

“You thought of everything.” I also saw a travel pack of toiletries and realized he actually had worried about what I might need.

“Bathroom’s yours. I’m going to make you food.”

I leaned forward and kissed him. He kissed me back and steadied my coffee hand at the same time. I noticed every protective gesture. I hadn’t before. I was so focused on getting dirt I’d missed it.

“Wow,” he said.

I got up, naked as I was born, and walked over to the bathroom carrying my little bag of supplies. He watched. I knew he appreciated every inch of me. I’d felt it last night and I felt it this morning.

This was something intense and fast. It absolutely couldn’t last.

It was going to come to a crashing halt. I had no idea how. Could it even last a day before his club intervened and stopped us both?

I let the water in the shower run over my body. It was cold. That was good.

Cold water, soap, coffee; I needed these things. And I needed to start thinking.

Benz had taken the risk and the lead for the last twenty-four hours. He had saved me from something awful.

But I needed to get back in the driver’s seat of my own life.

I didn’t want Benz to lose everything for me. And I wasn’t about to accept what some MC President decided about my life. If I had to run, I’d run. If I had to fight, I’d fight.

Benz may be a good man. Some of his brothers may be too. But Bear wanted me dead and I best not forget it.